


Meliorism {marauders era}

by MyBeanieIsALiar



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: 70s, 80s, 90s, Book 3: Harry Potter and the Prisoner of Azkaban, Book 4: Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire, Book 5: Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix, Book 6: Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince, Canon Compliant, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Hogwarts, Marauders' Era, Multi, Omnibus, Original Character(s), Second Wizarding War, Slow Burn, Teen Romance, first wizarding war
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-12-30
Updated: 2019-09-08
Packaged: 2019-09-30 12:37:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 45
Words: 125,589
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17224217
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MyBeanieIsALiar/pseuds/MyBeanieIsALiar
Summary: "I'm a strong believer in meliorism, the idea that the world can be made better by human effort."~~1975-1996In which an overdramatic, impulsive, sometimes obnoxious but well-meaning young Hufflepuff struggles through secret-keeping, bathroom confrontations, exams she won’t study for, some very irritating siblings, friend drama and occasional heartbreak. Optimism can be remarkably difficult when caught in the middle of a war but Bernadette Sommers was never one to give up easily.[Omnibus][SLOW-BURN]*I do not own Harry Potter (obviously) nor any of JKR's fabulous characters**Rated as such for lots of swearing, dark themes and mentions of drugs*





	1. Part One: A Looming Threat

 

September 1975 - August 1976

"In which Bernadette starts off her fifth year at Hogwarts. As the body count piles up, the idea of an all-out Wizarding War becomes all too real."

 

**Cast:**

Ella Purnell as **Bernadette Sommers**

_“If stupidity got me into this mess, why can’t it get me out?_ ”

Quinn Shephard as **Marlene McKinnon**

“ _I’m not gonna lie, that sounds like an eighty year old having an orgasm.”_

Yara Shahidi as **Connie Farlow**

“ _His sheer stupidity makes me fear for the future of the human race._ ”

Karen Gillan as **Lily Evans**

“ _I’m genuinely surprised that you’ve somehow managed to avoid detention for a whole week._ ”

Arden Cho as **Mary MacDonald**

“ _I can feel your arteries clogging up all the way over here and it’s disgusting._ ”

Lisa Teige as **Alice Fortescue**

“ _I couldn’t describe with all the words in the English language how much I hate that idea._ ”

Ben Barnes as **Sirius Black**

“ _Welcome to the club of tragic childhoods, current members: me and you._ ”

Aaron Taylor-Johnson as **James Potter**

“ _Quite frankly, I couldn’t care less about any of your advice, just let me eat my feelings and accept the fact that I’m going to die alone._ ”

Dane Dehaan as **Peter Pettigrew**

“ _I’m honestly rather scared of you but you knew that already._ ”

Andrew Garfield as **Remus Lupin**

“ _As a prefect I will tell you that it is irresponsible and dangerous but as your friend, I will tell you to cut off his family jewels._ ”

Adam Driver as **Severus Snape**

“ _Let’s be honest here, Sommers, you’re just as bad as me. You preach acceptance and forgiveness but just look what you did to Mulciber._ ”

Malina Weissman as **Josephine Sommers**

“ _I love you and all but you can be really stupid sometimes, you know?_ ”

Dylan O’Brien as **Christopher Sommers**

“ _If you steal another one of my sugar quills, I’m disowning you._ ”

Noah Schnapp as **Henry Sommers**

“ _I don’t need you to protect me just because I can’t do magic._ ”


	2. Chapter One: Home Again

**-September** **1st** **197-**

 

Bernadette Sommers clutched at the hem of her loose turtleneck sweater with fiddly fingers, tuning out her mother as the older woman barraged her with rules and warnings. The same thing happened every year, her mother would tell her not to get into trouble and Bernadette would somehow wind up in detention again. Sometimes she wished that her father was not a muggle and would see her off on the train as he was far more relaxed or rather too tired to care about her mischievous actions in school.

 

Her dark brown eyes scanned the faces of the crowd in search of one of her friends, any friend, to save her from her mother. Her older brother, Christopher, who was going into his seventh and final year at Hogwarts, got into just as much trouble as she did but was never lectured for it which made Bernadette impossibly angry. She suspected it was because their parents had long since given up hope on him when he set their shed ablaze when he was eight and they came to terms with the fact that their son was a budding pyromaniac.

 

"Mum, please stop fussing." Her younger sister Josephine piped up. "You say it to her every year and she never listens, just don't bother."

 

"Shut up Joey!" Bernadette took a swipe at the younger girl's head. "I do listen! I don't find trouble, it finds me."

 

Christopher snorted and she turned on him, hitting him with her hardback copy of The Hobbit. She hoped it left a bruise. He responded by pulling at her messy brown hair and shoving her into a terrified looking first year who'd squeaked like a mouse and scampered off.

 

"Stop it you two!" Their mother pulled them apart, looking highly embarrassed. "Chris go find your girlfriend or something, Jo sweetie have fun with your friends and Etta...just don't beat last year's record for detentions. And expect some fudge in the mail from your gran, she always makes too much for her book club."

 

The fifteen year old barked out a laugh, finally spotting her best friend, Connie pushing her way through the throng and ran off. "No promises!"

 

"Don't forget to write!" Her mother shouted after her, biting her lip and praying desperately that she would not get any letters from the Hogwarts staff that year concerning her daughter's misbehaviour.

 

The two girls collided in a bear hug. They hadn't seen each other all summer as Connie had spent it in America where her parents were making some connections in case they suddenly had to go into hiding, being well-known 'blood traitors'. Such a title could mean death those days. The pair had obviously written to each other but it wasn't the same as the summers they usually spent on the Sommers Family Farm, playing childish games in the forest and doing flips off the bales of hay.

 

"Oh I missed you!" Bernadette swung the shorter girl around in a circle. "It felt like someone had cut off my arm and expected me to live my life as normal."

 

"That analogy makes no sense, Etta." Connie laughed nonetheless. "But I still can't believe you cut your hair without consulting me first! You were so close to getting it down to your waist."

 

"The sacrifices I'll make for Quidditch are endless and you should know that better than anyone, let's get a compartment before all the good ones are taken!" She pulled the dark haired girl off, weaving through the crowd of weeping parents and eager children, hopeful to find their other friends.

 

Over her previous four years at Hogwarts, Bernadette made her best effort to become friends with as many people as possible. She had succeeded in some sense, knowing most people's names and was on friendly terms with them but she also had a rather tightly knit group. Their comings about were rather strange considering they were not all from the same house nor year but it worked.

 

For starters, Bernadette and Connie met in first year during the start of year feast. They'd both been sorted into Hufflepuff and sat across from each other. A conversation was started after Bernadette tried to impress a cute second year who was sat next to her by levitating the gravy boat but accidentally sent it flying towards the teacher's table, drenching poor Professor Flitwick in gravy. Connie had laughed so hard that she fell out of her seat and decided that she quite liked the strange brunette and chose to stick around. Honestly, if it hadn't been for Connie, Bernadette surely would have not made it to her fifth year alive.

 

The pair later met Lily Evans and Marlene McKinnon in Herbology class which they shared with the Gryffindors. Bernadette had tried to make friends with a plant which was later identified as a Snargarluff which would attack with dangerous thorn covered vines when provoked. Lily and Connie tried their best efforts to stop the rather stupid Hufflepuff from losing her eye while Marlene egged her on and thus a friendship was formed.

 

The following year the four girls had stumbled upon a pretty Ravenclaw in the year below them crying on the edge of the Forbidden Forest. The girl revealed herself to be Mary MacDonald and told the girls that she was simply homesick and unused to magic, being a muggle-born. Bernadette and Marlene firmly decided to take the girl under their wing while Lily and Connie were far more effective in helping Mary adjust to life in the Wizarding World.

 

The five girls, although all distinctively different with clashing personalities, got along swimmingly and at Bernadette's childish request, pinkie promised to always be there for each other no matter what.

 

Running was rather difficult when one was lugging a giant bag behind them. Both girls had given up their trunks to the man loading them into a separate compartment already but they also had carry-ons filled to the brim with things they couldn't fit in their trunks. They both disliked being unprepared and therefore their bags probably weighed more than most first years did. Eventually, sweaty and red-faced, they spotted Lily Evans in a compartment, talking to the rather greasy-haired Severus Snape.

 

"Lily! I missed you so-" Bernadette threw herself inside the small compartment and smothered the red haired girl in a bear-hug. She threw herself back at once realising the shiny badge she held tightly in her right hand. "You're a prefect? How come you didn't tell me? Congrats babe!"

 

"Oh sod off Etta." Lily pushed the overexcited girl away with a small laugh. "It's not that big of a big deal."

 

The prideful air which Lily had suddenly adapted said otherwise.

 

"Oh yes it fucking it!"

 

"Language, Bernadette." Connie softly chimed from the doorway. "You'll set a bad example for the new students."

 

"Kindly piss off."

 

The whole time the girls conversed, neither Bernadette nor Connie even glanced at the hook-nosed, greasy-haired, Slytherin boy. They didn't complain about his friendship with Lily but there was someone about him that just seemed...off. Bernadette had tried rather hard to befriend him but was always brushed off so eventually she gave up trying.

 

"Where are Marlene and Mary, do you know?" Lily pondered, pushing her flaming hair back out of her face.

 

Connie sat down opposite Bernadette and next to Snape but the boy inched away. "Mary will probably be late as usual and Marlene is most certainly off snogging her boyfriend."

 

"What's his name again?" Bernadette mentally rifled through the various names of all Marlene's previous boyfriends, none lasting longer than a month. "...Tim? Taylor? Travis? No...Tod?"

 

"Terrence I think." Lily piped up with a shrug. "He wrote to her over the summer."

 

At that moment, Snape stood up to leave, finally understanding that he was not contributing to the conversation and unwanted by two of the three girls. As he walked past, Lily got to her feet and grabbed at his sleeve. Her brilliant green eyes were suddenly sad and disappointed.

 

"Goodbye Sev, see you at the feast?" She said it as more of a hopeful question which suggested that the pair had not been on good terms recently. It seemed as though every year they grew further and further apart. Neither appeared very happy about it but did nothing to change their circumstances.

 

"Sure." With that last word he was gone, probably off to go see his prejudiced, future death-eater friends who most likely spent their free time planning on making others' lives as miserable as possible.

 

"Everything okay between you two?" Bernadette asked the question hesitantly, knowing that Lily would probably not answer truthfully.

 

"Yeah, we just had a little tiff over something small." She brushed it off but her eyes looked incredibly sad and her shoulders slouched. "We'll get over it, eventually."

 

"You've been having a lot of 'small tiffs' recently." Connie speculated, leaning forwards with concern lacing her tone.

 

Their serious conversation was interrupted, rather ironically, by Sirius Black. "Hey ladies, good summers?"

 

Lily rolled her eyes while Bernadette and Connie smiled politely, not knowing the boy all that well. They thought he was funny and charming but stayed away when Lily forewarned them that he wasn't all that nice after all.

 

"Not really," Bernadette really thought about the question. "Accidentally sat on my favourite bowtruckle, Barnaby and got food poisoning when Chris somehow managed to fuck up sausages. You?"

 

"Mine was pretty shit too." He shrugged, leaning against the doorframe in a pose she assumed was supposed to be charismatic. "We should start a club, Sommers."

 

She laughed, throwing her messy hair back, eyes twinkling. "What? A 'crappy summer' club? Doesn't sound all that great if I'm being honest."

 

"Yeah, it'd be great." He defended his horrible idea. "It'd be so popular. We could play exploding snap and prank Filch-"

 

"Buzz off already and find some other people to bother, Black." Lily stood up and poked him in the middle of his chest with her pointer finger. "We were in the middle of a conversation before you barged in."

 

"Well can't I join the friendly discussion?"

 

"Sure." Bernadette spoke at the same time Lily firmly said: "No".

 

"I don't particularly care so..." Connie sat back in her seat, breaking out an acid pop and lazily tossing it in her mouth, watching the scene unfold as though it were a highly entertaining movie. As a pacifist, she much preferred to watch drama play out rather than partake in it.

 

"Fine, fine, I'll leave Evans." He held up his hands in surrender and slowly backed out of the compartment, as though he was taunting her. "But I'll probably be back later with James. He's been talking about you all summer, it's actually getting pretty annoying."

 

A wide grin spread across Bernadette's face at the idea of James Potter paying a visit. He'd been trying to get in Lily's good books (and probably pants) since fourth year and the poor girl saw him as merely the bane of her existence. The rest of her friends didn't particularly have anything against the boy and sometimes found Lily's rants about the 'arrogant toe-rag' rather funny. Bernadette wondered if she was the only one who thought they'd actually make a really cute couple.

 

"Bye bye!" She waved as the boy left and Lily slammed the compartment door shut.

 

Judging by the red colour that the tips of her ears turned, both Connie and Bernadette knew that she was about to launch into another rant about how much she hated James Potter and Sirius Black. Thankfully, Marlene came to their rescue, flinging open the door which had just been closed and throwing herself across Connie's lap.

 

Marlene was the type of girl who was very open and comfortable with herself therefore she found no problem with describing in horrific detail all of her escapades with various boys to her friends.

 

"You okay there Marls?" Bernadette snorted behind her hand. "Looking a bit disheveled, aren't we?"

 

"Shove off, Etta!" Marlene poked out her tongue. "Ben and I were just having a bit of fun in the prefect compartment before they all arrived."

 

Connie looked confused. "For starters, you're not a prefect and you shouldn't have been in there and what happened to Terrence?"

 

"Lovely chap Terrence was but sadly he was a bit too clingy for my liking." Marlene sat up and allowed Lily to start fixing her messy hair. "So we parted ways and I coincidentally met Ben on the platform. We started talking and one thing led to another."

 

"You know Marls," Bernadette said. "I'm far from being remotely sane but sometimes I worry about you-OW! Why would you hit me Marlene?"

 

The train's whistle blew signalling that it was now leaving and suddenly all girls were alerted to the fact that Mary had yet to arrive. The young Ravenclaw had never been on time for anything in her life and that included the Hogwarts Express which always left exactly at eleven am. In unison all girls looked out the window to see a small girl dragging her giant trunk behind her as she ran frantically waving one arm in the air.

 

"Oh shit."

 

The girls all ran out of their compartment, receiving many questioning looks and towards the closest door. Bernadette swung it open just as Mary was nearing them.

 

"Take my trunk!" She threw it up with surprising strength and Lily was knocked flat on her back, winded. Bernadette and Connie stretched out their hands, trying to get a grip on Mary's before she was left behind on the platform. Eventually their hands connected and both girls hauled the fourth year up and into the train.

 

The now group of five sat and stared at each other in silence for a good two minutes, still recovering from the mildly traumatic event.

 

"Every bloody year, Mary!" Marlene eventually groaned, pushing herself up. "Without fail!"

 

"Sorry we had to double back since I forgot my trunk." The dark haired girl shrugged apologetically.

 

"Your whole trunk?" Lily looked at her in shock. "Is that even possible?"

 

"Yeah, sure she did the same exact thing last year." Bernadette let out a small chuckle before getting to her feet. "Now that fiasco has just about completely worn me out so I'm gonna head back to the compartment and take a nap."

 

She did just that. Despite being in Hufflepuff she wasn't very hard-working and usually just did the bare minimum to get good grades and not die. Her slumber was peaceful for the most part, her head lying in Connie's lap and her feet in Marlene's. She dreamt of something that wasn't incredibly morbid for once, eating various sweets while trying to kill a pesky rat which had knocked two forks off her kitchen counter. It was strange but luckily she hadn't woken up screaming and in a cold sweat as she often did those days.

 

Bernadette was eventually jolted awake from her dreamland as she heard Lily's familiar voice scream: "Get out of here you arrogant toe-rag!"

 

"Jesus! What did I do Lils?" She sat up and rubbed at her eyes. "Why would you call me that? I'm trying to sleep here!"

 

The red haired girl looked at her friend in both alarm and guilt. "Sorry Etta I was talking to him." She nodded her head in the direction of James Potter who grinned at her playfully from the doorway.

 

"Morning Potter." She smiled back. "You might wanna leave before she bursts my eardrums."

 

"Sure thing Sommers."

 

Bernadette lowered herself back down to try and get a bit more shuteye. She'd stayed up the previous night with her youngest brother Henry who'd gotten sick again so she was obviously rather tired.

 

"Oh, be a doll and close the door on your way out please."

 

"No problem."

 

Once the boy had disappeared, Lily turned on her, clearly not planning on letting her poor friend rest. "How come he listens to you, Etta?"

 

Bernadette sighed and sat up, accepting the fact that she would not be allowed any more rest. "He only acts that way because he knows he's gonna get a rise out of you. I'm pretty calm so I do not have that problem. Also he doesn't know how to deal with his huge crush on you and therefore acts out to get your attention."

 

"That actually makes sense." Marlene agreed after a minute of thought.

 

"No way!" Lily angrily began to pace the length of the compartment. "The reason he does it is because he's a stupid slimy git with an ego the size of-"

 

"Don't you have a prefect meeting?"

 

"Shit!"

 

And with that, James Potter was quickly forgotten and the group of five turned to four. The remaining girls spent the rest of the train ride eating sweets bought from the trolley lady who Bernadette called Marjorie and asked how her children were. They also discussed thrilling topics such as the meaning of life, drugs and boys.

 

"Well we all know that Etta has only had eyes for Daniel Whitters since second year!"

 

Her face flushed crimson at the mention of the boy she'd had a slight obsession with for three years. He was one of Christopher's best friends and the only one who was ever nice to her when all his friends came over during the summer. She supposed it helped that he was also incredibly fit, intelligent and only one year older than her.

 

"Isn't he leaving next year?" Mary questioned innocently.

 

"Oh don't remind me!" Bernadette flung her body to the floor where she could wallow in her misery at the prospect of having to spend a whole year without being able to stare at him in the library or blush profusely when he smiled at her. "Anyways, you're one to talk Connie! Don't think I can't see you staring at Remus Lupin in class!"

 

"Shut up Etta!" The girl threw her book at her, hitting the brunette square in the face and causing Marlene and Mary to laugh at her expense. "He's just very mature for our age and I can appreciate that."

 

"You do know that a male's brain isn't fully developed until they're twenty-five?" Mary, who almost constantly spouted out facts, mentioned. "Are you saying he's ten years further along than all the other boys in our year?"

 

"He might as well be." Connie defended. "He's at least the most mature in his friend group."

 

"Well there's absolutely no denying that." Bernadette finally recovered from the attack and began chewing on a sugar quill. "The Messrs or Marauders or whatever they're going by these days are all mentally three years old bar Lupin."

 

The other girls hummed in agreement, recalling the countless times those boys had acted like children albeit rather handsome children in most of their cases.

 

"What about you, Mary?" Marlene poked the girl across from her with her foot. "Any guys catch your fancy?"

 

"Not really." The younger girl mused. "They all kinda seem like minuscule trolls stomping all over the place dragging their horrible stench everywhere with them."

 

"Marlene is already spoken for, being attracted to ninety percent of the guys above third year and having snogged the face off at least sixty percent."

 

"What your mouth, missy."

 

"Lily will probably get with Severus if he doesn't join the dark side," Bernadette reached for a handful of jellybeans, "I mean it's obvious he's in love with her and she clearly must feel something back but at the moment they seem like they're at a place where they could only start dating or never speak to each other again."

 

"You're starting to sound like one of those American psychologists." Marlene snorted. "All insightful and shit."

 

As the sun slowly began to inch closer and closer towards the horizon the girls changed into their robes. All thought that the uniform was rather ugly, especially Bernadette who loved bright colours and patterns. She sometimes tried to customise her robes but always wound up with a detention and a firm letter sent home.

 

Lily finally reappeared about ten minutes before they arrived back at their second home, looking flustered and rather annoyed. She murmured angrily about some pesky third years who'd set their hair on fire while trying to turn it tie dye before sitting down and opening a book. The others girls understood that it wasn't just the third years but that James Potter had evidently paid her yet another visit.

 

Mary let out a sudden gasp. "I can see it! Hogwarts!"

 

Bernadette and Marlene grinned at each other and launched into the school song while Connie blocked her ears. Bernadette always opted to sing the song as though she were a famous opera singer while Marlene went at a slow funeral march tone so their vocals clashed horribly and Lily threw her book at them, still unable to succeed in shutting them up.

 

When the train pulled into the station the girls snatched up their bags and raced out of their compartment and down the corridor. They dragged each other through the crowd and up towards the carriages which were pulled by black skeletal horses known as Thestrals. Bernadette was lucky that nobody she knew could see them as they were only visible to those who'd witnessed death but she had a feeling that as the war progressed more and more people would become aware of their existence.

 

The four girls happily piled into a carriage with with two uncomfortable looking Slytherins who shifted away and blatantly ignored Bernadette's attempts at making conversation until she simply gave up trying altogether. Soon she found herself sprinting towards the open doors which lead to the Great Hall, arms opened wide as she basked in the warmth.

 

"Oh I missed this place!" She wrapped her arms around Connie as they separated from their other friends to go to the Hufflepuff table. "No more shovelling manure until next summer, can you believe it?"

 

They took their seats towards the head of the table and waved towards Professor Sprout, their head of house, a rather jolly and plump lady who they got along with tremendously. Immediately Bernadette began to complain about how long the first years were taking to get sorted as she did every single year. A sixth year who overheard gave her a reprimanding look and rolled his eyes.

 

It felt like decades before the Sorting Ceremony was finally finished and Bernadette could finally stuff her face. She piled her plate high with mashed potatoes, sausages, chicken and gravy and ate as though she hadn't had a bite in a year. Connie looked at her, mildly disgusted, but knew well there was no point in giving out about it. Another tradition of Bernadette Sommers was that she would always stuff her face with food until she felt sick and threw up in the bathrooms later. She truly never learned.

 

Many first years looked at her with concern later that night as Connie had to carry the poor girl down towards the Dungeons but older students who knew her understood and simply gave her a pitying glance.

 

"I feel like there's a dung bomb inside my stomach and it's about to explode." She groaned rolling around on the floor of her dormitory. "Why didn't you try to stop me?"

 

"Because I did and you called me a prat and said that my advice was merely a complimentary suggestion and you would therefore ignore it."

 

"Well I'm stupid and should've listened!"

 

"You're telling me."

 

The two other girls who shared a room with them, Jane and Jasmine chose that moment to walk in and immediately sigh at the sight before them.

 

"Again?" Jane stepped over the presently sobbing brunette.

 

"I'm not even surprised." Jasmine entered the bathroom to get changed.

 

"You're going to be okay for Quidditch practice though, right?" Jane appeared rather worried at the idea of loosing their best beater to a plate of food.

 

"No I'm dying Jane!"

 

Despite her obvious pain and exhaustion in that moment, it signified her return to her second home, a safe haven away from her occasionally annoying family, and she supposed she wouldn't have it any other way.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please don't expect every chapter to be as long as this one. Anyways it's not heavily edited but I fixed a few typos so it shouldn't be too painful to read.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	3. Chapter Two: Gold Leaf and Carltons

September 1975-

 

Considering that Bernadette was doing her OWL exams that exams, her schedule was not all that bad. She had a decent about of study periods which was a roundabout way of saying taking the piss at the back of the library and hoping that the librarian Madam Pince wouldn't catch her. Still it didn't take long for the stress to start settling in. She wasn't exactly the most proficient student, only really excelling in Herbology, Care of Magical Creatures and Potions. She was dismal in Transfiguration and even worse at Astronomy but the rest of her subjects were okay so long as she studied a bit.

 

Thankfully her Monday started off with double Herbology with the Gryffindors which made her usually horrible mood improve drastically. Her favourite subject with her favourite Professor with her favourite people? Yes fucking please. Her good mood was slightly dampened by the ridiculous amount of homework that was set and she came to the horrifying conclusion that she would actually have to do it. When she voiced this complaint to Connie the girl simply commented on how she was strangely lazy for a Hufflepuff.

 

The class was especially fun since it came with the opportunity to tease Connie and her obvious crush on Remus Lupin. She 'helpfully' suggested that he aid the flustered girl with her Fanged Geranium and kept 'accidentally' pushing him in her direction. Her, Marlene and Lily had a great laugh about it but Connie was not so amused, refusing to help them all with their Transfiguration homework later.

 

After Herbology was Charms with the Ravenclaws. It wasn't particularly eventful except for a rather conceited first year named Gilderoy Lockheart bursting into the classroom and challenging them all to a duel. Bernadette laughed at his claim for a good five minutes and it took Professor Flitwick twice as long to get rid of the boy and settle the class down.

 

Soon came time for lunch, to Bernadette's immense relief. She'd only had two subjects that day and already at least four hours of homework. She very much disliked this and made a mental note to sneak out later that week to have a well-earned smoke on the Astronomy Tower. The sight of the tables piled high with food was enough to make her start crying.

 

"Oh would you get a grip!" Connie smacked the weeping girl on the arm. "Everyone is staring at you."

 

"I don't care!" She declared while filling her goblet to the brim with pumpkin juice. "Let them stare for I, Bernadette Darcy Sommers, have decided to become a hedonist!"

 

"What?" Jasmine leaned across the table to take her temperature with the back of her hand.

 

"From now I will only serve myself and my own needs! I care about nobody else!"

 

Connie rubbed at her temples as though she had a headache. "That's not what hedonism means, Etta."

 

Bernadette seemed to calm down a bit and stared at the girl with confusion. "What does it mean then because I was sure that I used that term correctly?"

 

"A hedonist is someone who simply believes that pleasure is the most important thing in life it doesn't mean you don't care about other people."

 

"Oh." She went silent for a minute thinking through her words. "Then I'll make up my own thing! I'm gonna start a cult!"

 

With her accidentally very loud proclamation, Professor McGonagall looked as though she were about to stand up from the teachers table and march over there.

 

"No you're not! No she's not!" Her voice lowered to an annoyed hiss. "You have some serious issues, Etta."

 

"I know."

 

Lunch was spent in another bicker as Bernadette playfully tried to recruit nearby people for her cult. She wasn't really serious about it but wanted to piss Connie off a bit and was very loud about it until Professor McGonagall actually did storm over to her and deducted ten house points from Hufflepuff for disruption and unruly public behaviour. After that she ate her sandwich in peace while only complaining about Divination and that fact that she had to go up all those steps just to get there.

 

Out of all their friends, Bernadette and Marlene had been the only ones to pick Divination as a subject in third year as they believed it would be a bit of a piss take. How wrong they'd been. Every piece of work they turned in was an over exaggerated account of one of Bernadette's fucked up dreams. Surprisingly their bullshit got them top marks in the class since their teacher was a total fraud.

 

"Okay, in your teacup all I see is..." Marlene squinted at the tea leaves and turned the cup around in her hand. "What kinda looks like either a cross or an obese cat."

 

Bernadette glanced in their tasseomancy book to see what both meant. "So...trials and suffering or a deceitful friend. Either way it doesn't seem fun."

 

"Do mine now!"

 

"Ah yes my young grasshopper," She waggled her fingers in front of Marlene's grinning face. "I believe that your teacup depicts a very handsome young man with a rather large pair of-"

 

She was cut off by a screech from behind her. The brunette dropped Marlene's teacup on the table in terror and clutched at her heart.

 

"Professor Windwear," Marlene asked tentatively. "Are you okay?"

 

The woman draped in flowing scarves and beads backed away from the two girls, shaking horribly. All previous light-heartedness had dissipated. She was muttering something under her breath when she bumped into Peter Pettigrew before shrieking again and pointing at him in accusation.

 

"Death!" Her finger flew around in the direction of Marlene.

 

"Suffering!" Her long painted nail was now in Bernadette's face. "Extreme loss!"

 

"Betrayal!" Peter was now the one under her gaze.

 

She gave a final shriek before clutching at the dirty grey mess on top of her head which some might call hair and stood up as though nothing had happened. Most of the students thought nothing of the strange woman, she predicted horrible tragedies befalling different students every year but nothing ever came of it but Bernadette had a sick feeling in her stomach. She left the Divination classroom feeling slightly queasy and a little bit paranoid.

 

For the next few days, it was noticeable that Bernadette was out of character. Jokes were few and far between and her head seemed to be somewhere else all the time. She didn't want to admit to anyone that she took Professor Windwear's declaration that she would suffer seriously. Her main concern was Henry. He'd always been sickly and the family weren't even surprised when they found out he was indeed a squib. Any day with him could always be their last. She never told anyone about him. Her friends had been over to her house before but Henry was always in and out of St. Mungo's so she simply never brought him up.

 

So that Thursday evening she snuck out after hours with some parchment, a quill and a packet of cigarettes she made her way to the Owlery.

 

Dear Henry,

So far Hogwarts has been great, as always. No surprise there. But, recently something Professor Windwear said to me in Divination has put me on edge. You always tell me not to worry about you but as your older sister I can't help it. Mum and Dad never say much about your health because they don't want us to be scared but I need you to tell me how you are. It's driving me mad, Henry. I know I put on an act and pretend that everything is all rainbows and butterfly kisses but I feel like there's doxies inside my stomach.

 

In other news, Lily started screaming at Potter in the library the other day and got herself kicked out. It was nice to see her get in trouble instead of me for once. Is that mean? Oh and Marlene has already broken up with Ben so she's been single for a whopping twelve hours now! Mary is on another health kick. Her parents are newly turned hippies so they're trying to go vegan. The only thing its doing is making Mary a right bitch whenever I eat some nice food in front of her. Swear I heard her stomach growling all throughout study period.

 

Has William come back home at all? He's our brother and all but these days he spends all his time in Australia. He's so lucky that he's of age and can just apparate everywhere. I can't wait till I turn seventeen and can do everything with magic. No more cleaning, no more cooking, no more effort. And I can bring you loads of places too! It just be horrible stuck in a bed all the time. Mum's way too overprotective sometimes not even letting you out of your room but don't be too mad at her, she only does it for your own good.

 

Write back soon (or else young man!),

The best older sister to ever grace the earth,

Etta.

 

She called over Connie's owl, Cheryl who was not pleased to be sent on a journey without a treat which Bernadette had forgotten back in her dorm. She watched the owl fly off into the distance for a while before heading back up to the castle so she could go have a smoke on the Astronomy Tower.

 

Bernadette wasn't one to smoke often but cigarettes helped her to destress and keep up her optimism when it was hardest. She always did the deed on the Astronomy Tower however, she got a view of the whole grounds, the smell didn't linger and Filch never ventured up there in search of misbehaving students such as herself.

 

She used her wand to light the end of her cigarette and sat down, dangling her legs through the railing which was the only barrier to her falling to her death.

 

"When I die and they lay me to rest," she began to sing softly to herself the lyrics of Spirit in the Sky. She'd always had a certain fondness for muggle music. Celestine Warbeck and The Weird Sisters simply didn't intrigue her in the slightest and the silence was unnerving. "Gonna go to the place that's the best."

 

"Nice vocals there, Sommers."

 

She gasped in alarm and whipped around, holding her wand up to the neck of Sirius Black. Once she realised that he was not a murderer there to kill her she sighed in relief and stuck her wand back inside her long yellow and black striped socks.

 

"You scared me, Black." She resumed her previous place, legs dangling over the edge and chilly wind blowing her short hair back."You come here to smoke too?"

 

"Yeah." He settled himself down next to her and took out a packet of Carltons.

 

"You've got good taste but Gold Leaf is best." She flashed her own packet at him and blew a bit of smoke in his face. "I won't listen to anyone who tells me otherwise."

 

"How come I've never seen you up here before?" He poked her through her thick jumper.

 

She swatted his hand away. "I only smoke when I'm really stressed so I don't come up here often. But fifth year has been proving difficult so far so here I am." She pathetically tried her best to do jazz hands.

 

"So what's got you so high-strung?" He never looked at her, keeping his grey eyes fixed in the Forbidden Forest. "Most people have noticed that you really haven't been yourself recently. Shit, I barely know you and even I know something's up."

 

Bernadette didn't know whether she should have told him. Usually when she had a problem she kept it to herself and instead tried to flood her bleak world with more colour. For some reason Professor Windwear's words were doing something weird to her, she simply couldn't bring herself to be happy when there was no colour.

 

"Did you hear about Professor Windwear's annual prediction?" She glanced at him for a second before letting her hair hide her features behind a curtain of cinnamon coloured hair. "Well this year she did three and it wasn't the same as normal. She looked...terrified."

 

"Yeah, Wo-Peter told me about it," he nodded understandingly. "What did she scream at you?"

 

"I think she meant that there was suffering in my future." Bernadette bit her lip so hard that she drew blood, a metallic taste filling her mouth. "Which is worrying enough but she also told me that I would experience loss."

 

Sirius seemed to think over her words for a while before replying. "She probably just meant that you would lose your scarf or something. Don't get so torn-up about it."

 

She forced herself to believe him. "Yeah, I'm just being stupidly paranoid over nothing. Thanks for the reality check, mate."

 

The unlikely pair fell into another short silence, the only sound being the frosty wind which nipped at their noses and fingers. It didn't take long for Bernadette to become bored and start humming the tune of one of her favourite songs.

 

"'I'm Not In Love' by 10cc." Sirius nodded his head and smirking in approval. "That's a good one."

 

Her jaw fell open for a second, Sirius Black was one of the last people she'd expect to listen to muggle music. He was a member of the Noble and Most Ancient House of Black after all and they most certainly did not associate themselves with anything related to non-magic folk.

 

"I didn't know you listened to muggle music." She commented, lighting another cig and taking a long drag.

 

He shrugged. "Well yeah, at first it was just to piss off my parents but now it's kinda swallowed my entire existence."

 

Bernadette laughed, feeling much more like herself than she had the last few days. "My dad is a muggle and my mum doesn't like music all that much so I was raised on muggle stuff. But still, nobody I know appreciates it for the true art that it is."

 

"Thank you!" He slung one of his arms around her and pulled her closer. "Everyone else says I'm mad!"

 

Bernadette scoffed angrily. "Are they fucking deaf? Muggle music is the best kind of music! Celestine Warbeck can suck my dick!"

 

"Did we just become best friends?"

 

"You bet your ass we fucking did."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Foreshadowing, foreshadowing, we shall see what becomes of all this. Also I know nothing about cigarettes so I literally googled popular cigarette brands in the seventies and picked two random ones so sorry if I sound like an uncultured fuck.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	4. Chapter Three:

**-October** **1975-**

 

The chilly fog of September soon faded into the dry, biting breeze of October and life at Hogwarts was as normal as could be with a war looming over the Wizarding World. Bernadette found herself still swamped with homework as were all her other fellow fifth years. The only homework which didn't give the poor girl a migraine was Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures. In fact she found herself much calmer with the plants and animals and never had a problem reaching those deadlines.

 

Mary, who was still basking in the nothingness of fourth year, was the envy of her whole friend group who were suffocating under textbooks and homework. Still she was put to use while the others attempted to do their work by fetching snacks and sneaking them past Madam Pince who most certainly did not tolerate food in her library. All the girls were well-known among the Hogwarts house elves as they paid visits to kitchens regularly and were often up late enough to watch the elves clean the common rooms therefore Mary was attended to hand and foot and even got extra biscuits which she hadn't asked for but still very much appreciated.

 

"It's official," Bernadette slammed her face into the Charms book in front of her, unable to memorise the specific wand movements no matter how hard she tried. "I'm dropping out and taking over my dad's farm."

 

"I thought you wanted to move to Iceland to become a niffler herder." Marlene questioned, looking up from her own book, remembering the Hufflepuff saying such the previous day.

 

"You told me that if you dropped out you'd raise bowtruckles." Mary commented from under the mahogany table where she gorged herself on pumpkin pasties.

 

"I was told that you'd become a rock singer in the muggle world." Lily helped very unhelpfully.

 

Connie sighed and looked up from her Potions essay. "For starters you're not dropping out, Etta. And you're not taking over your father's farm, becoming a niffler herder, raising bowtruckles or having a music career in the muggle world."

 

"Why not?"

 

"You can't drop out unless your parents pull you out, you hate working on the farm, there's no such thing as a niffler herder, you won't make any money raising bowtruckles, your singing voice is horrendous, you can't play any instruments and you look like the human girl embodiment of a chihuahua. Need I continue?"

 

Bernadette looked extremely offended. "I am not a chihuahua! If anything I'm a ferocious bear!"

 

Madam Pince poked her head round a bookshelf and sent her a very nasty look. Sometimes Bernadette forgot to use her inside voice and had gotten kicked out of the library countless times for being too loud and 'disruptive'.

 

"I'm gonna go get some flasks of tea for us." Mary whispered, coming out from under the table and tiptoeing away to the kitchen. "Might defuse the tension."

 

Little did the other girls know that letting their friend go was a big fucking mistake on their part.

 

The minutes ticked by as the fifth year girls silently carried in with their work, motivated at the prospect of a good cup of tea. Eventually, Marlene glanced at her watch and frowned but went back to memorising the properties and effects of a bezoar on various magical creatures. No more than five minutes had passed until she looked at her watch again, frown lines on her forehead deepening.

 

"Mary has been gone an hour." Bernadette had never heard the girl sound so worried. "The tea will be cold by now."

 

Connie, ever the mother of the group, stuffed her books into her bag and stood up. "We should go look for her, what if something happened?"

 

"Like what?" Bernadette tried to make light of the situation. "She's probably finally found some hippie boy who strikes her fancy and is shagging him in a broom closet. Yeah no, I see your point, we should go look for her."

 

First they tried the kitchen but the house elves told them that she'd left fifty minutes previously with her tea and hadn't seen her since. Next they headed towards the Ravenclaw Tower, thinking she might have forgotten something there but the portraits around the area told them that they hadn't seen anyone if her description pass by. The only other place they could think Mary went to was the Great Hall.

 

As soon as they entered, Professor McGonagall half-walked, half-jogged in their direction, looking deeply troubled. Her usually neat hair was starting to fall around her face in small wisps, her robes were wrinkled and she looked rather pale.

 

"Come with me." She said simply but the tone of her voice made a Bernadette's heart plummet down into her feet. Perhaps Professor Windwear's prediction had not been for her but for Mary. Her worry only grew as they went in the direction of the hospital wing.

 

Tears had begun to gather in Lily's eyes, Marlene looked as though she was about to be sick and Connie was picking at her long braids, a sign that she was anxious. Bernadette for once couldn't plaster on a smile and pretend that everything was okay.

 

The head of Gryffindor house pushed open the doors to the hospital wing where Madam Pomfrey looked as though she'd just collapsed into a chair in exhaustion, wiping sweat from her forehead. She didn't even have the energy to shoo them away like she usually did when she had a patient.

 

"She was found by the dungeons."

 

Bernadette wanted to scream, to cry and to break something all at once at the sight of Mary lying in the bed. She looked like she was dead, sickly pale with dark marks wrapped around her exposed arms and neck, her dark hair clung to her face with sweat and her brow was furrowed into an expression of pain.

 

"What happened?" Lily's voice trembled as her knees buckled underneath her and she had to lean on Connie for support.

 

"Dark magic." Madam Pomfrey finally stood up and wiped her palms on her apron. "I've managed to dispel most of the effects but it looks like she might suffer for a while."

 

Bernadette no longer felt like herself, as though she were a ghost watching the scene play out in front of her as she stormed out of the room, face set in determination, wand clutched in her left hand. She knew well who was responsible. Snape's little terrorist buddies. They were always bragging about knowing forbidden curses and hexes. She also knew exactly where they were.

 

Her feet crunched against the dead leaves which littered the ground as she made her way outside on to the grounds. And there, lounging about by the edge of the Forbidden Forest was the little pathetic group of death-eaters. Snape was the first one to catch sight of her angry figure and was visibly alarmed, tugging at Mulciber's sleeve, his beady eyes never leaving her form. She was visibly upset, tears staining her cheeks which had turned pink from the cold and her fists were shaking.

 

"Which one of you did it?" Her voice came out surprisingly calm but there was an icy edge to her tone. "Which one of you hexed Mary?"

 

The glances tossed Mulciber's way told her everything she needed to know.

 

"Expelliarmus!" She quickly disarmed him before dropping her own wand to the ground where it lay forgotten. She drew back her fist before smashing it into his mouth, ignoring the feeling of his teeth drawing blood. Next she pounced on top of him and continued to land blow after blow on his face.

 

"Apologise!" She screeched in between punched. "Apologise for what you did to Mary!"

 

Mulciber spat some of the thick crimson liquid dripping from his mouth at her. "I wouldn't dream of apologising to your pathetic mudblood friend, you should have heard how she screamed-"

 

He was cut off as she dug her elbow into his nose.

 

Her dripping tears began to mix with the blood she'd drawn from both his mouth and now broken nose. At first his gang were too shocked to stop her as she beat the older boy to a pulp but then they stopped out of fear. Intervening would certainly mean detention for all of them and a major loss of house points. Their pride outweighed Mulciber's face.

 

The boy tried to fight back against her, struggling to push her off but her rather long nails which almost always had soil underneath them scratched at him, leaving ugly marks in their wake.

 

It didn't take long before a force knocked her off of Mulciber and kept her restrained on the ground.

 

Professor McGonagall sighed. "My office, both of you."

 

Bernadette ignored all the professors who were in attendance, keeping her gaze fixed on her bloody fists which had been clenched so hard that her nails had left crescent shaped marks on her palms. Professor Sprout looked at her with the strangest mix of disappointment and pride while Professor Slughorn suggested she attend one of his Slug Club meetings, more impressed with her recklessness rather than the fact that she'd severely injured one of his students. Professor McGonagall however surprised her in offering her a biscuit.

 

"Excuse me, Professor?" She looked up for the first time. Mulciber had been dismissed with two weeks detention to go get his face fixed. "Am I going mad or did you offer me a biscuit."

 

"You heard me correctly, Ms Sommers." She pushed a tin across the desk. "Have a Ginger Newt."

 

"Thank you." She reluctantly reached inside with her non-bleeding hand and extracted a sugary snack.

 

"Now...in regards to your punishment."

 

"I'm not sorry you know?" She was probably just making her situation worse but also wanted to make her reasoning clear. "I know he was the one that did that to Mary and he deserved what he got. I know I shouldn't have done it but I don't regret it. He was an absolute arse who needed to be brought down a few pegs so maybe he'll reconsider joining the Dark Lord's army."

 

"And I'm not angry at you, Ms Sommers." Bernadette looked up, confusion painting her features like a mask. "I believe he did deserve what you did to him but that does not mean you're leaving here unscathed. However I am not you head of house so Professor Sprout will be the one to decide."

 

"Well, Sommers," the plump woman cleared her throat. "I suppose I'll have you serve a month's detention with me in the greenhouses every Friday. And I will sadly have to deduct fifty house points from Hufflepuff."

 

Bernadette didn't even argue. She'd done the crime and she supposed she'd have to repent.

 

"Can I have another biscuit before I leave?"

 

"Sure."

 

Bernadette stood up and took a handful of biscuits before skirting out of the room. The second she'd closed the door behind her she was smothered by a shorter girl who donned a pair of Slytherin robes and a tall boy whose Ravenclaw tie hung loosely around his neck.

 

"Bernie what were you thinking?" Josephine wailed, crying into her older sister's shirt. "You could have gotten seriously hurt!"

 

"Oh you stupid girl!" Christopher tugged on a strand of her hair.

 

Her face finally managed to ease into its usual lazy smile at the sight of her siblings as they released her and she shoved two biscuits in her mouth at once. "I was angry and his face was ugly so I rearranged it."

 

"I love you and all but you can be really stupid sometimes, you know?" Josephine wasn't usually one for physical affection but she wrapped her arms around Bernadette's waist and clung on as though the girl might fade into non-existence at any second.

 

"Oh I know, Joey." She planted a kiss on top of the younger girl's dark hair. "And I love you too."

 

"You really had me worried." Christopher frowned, marring his handsome features. "Daniel too, he wanted to come down with me but he had frog choir with Flitwick."

 

Her ears perked up at the name of her long-term crush. He was worried about her? She felt as though she was going to melt and become nothing more than a puddle on the floor. It had gone from the worst day of her life to mediocre which was saying something considering all that had happened.

 

"He was?" She tried and failed to sound nonchalant. "That's nice of him."

 

"Oh don't you start." Josephine whined, rolling her eyes. "We all know you're crushing hard on him. That dense idiot is the only one who doesn't see it even though he's supposed to be a genius and all."

 

"Shut up Josephine Marinella Sommers!"

 

The third year poked out her tongue in defiance while Christopher looked as though he was about to vomit all over her shoes and pretty sparkly socks.

~~

 

To Bernadette's immense delight she was serving detention with both James Potter and Sirius Black who were always a good laugh, in Greenhouse number three. Sprout had run off to try and subdue an irritated Venomous Tentacula in another room leaving the three teens alone with a pile of puffapods they had been tasked with sorting.

 

"Can I just say Sommers," James ruffled up his hair, a strange habit of his in which he did to make it look like he'd just gotten off his broom. "You were so cool when you beat up Mulciber. I saw the whole thing from the Back Lake, you were like...The Incredible Hulk or something!"

 

Bernadette laughed loudly. "Thanks, I'm frankly surprised you even know who that is."

 

"We were talking about comics in Muggle Studies last week." He explained, trying his best to move a puffapod from the table to a small jar without its seeds blooming as it usually did whenever they came in contact with a solid object.

 

"Yeah, everyone's talking about how you fucked up his face." Sirius barked out a laugh. "Madam Pomfrey couldn't completely fix the broken nose you gave him, something about his septum, but she was able to regrow the two teeth you knocked out."

 

She hid a blush behind a curtain of hair. "Well I didn't mean to do that much damage, I just wanted to scare him a bit so he wouldn't try any dark magic on us again but I suppose I got a bit carried away."

 

"You really are something, Sommers."

 

"You flatter me, Black."

 

After they worked in silence for a few minutes, James spoke up again, startling Bernadette so that she knocked a few beans onto the ground where they instantly bloomed into pink flowers. As she muttered out a curse he grabbed her upper arm and gave her a look which screamed that he had a horrifically brilliant idea which would definitely land them another detention if they were caught.

 

"We should get revenge." His hazel eyes glinted maliciously behind his circular glasses.

 

"I thought I already did that." Bernadette grumbled, glancing down at her now healed knuckles.

 

He rolled his eyes at her comment. "Yeah but you shouldn't have gotten punished for what you did."

 

The Hufflepuff girl begged to differ but didn't say anything, not wanting to rain on his parade. Sirius began nodding excitedly at the prospect of creating more mischief with a new partner in crime.

 

"So...what should we do then?"

 

"First we'll let paranoia take hold of him, we'll have to look like we're plotting some big scheme and watch him write in anxiety." James thought it out carefully, clearly experienced in the field of revenge. "Then during the Halloween feast we'll pull a series of pranks on him one after another so he doesn't even have time to breathe. We can embarrass him in front of the whole school and simply blame it on the poltergeist!"

 

Bernadette went silent, going over the loosely formed plan in her head before a grin reminiscent to that of The Cheshire Cat spread across her lips. "You, James Potter, are an absolute fucking genius."

 

And with that the three students began to detail out exactly how they would go about exacting justice on a dirty git while planting the seeds of a beautiful and heartwarming friendship, much to future Lily Evan's immense displeasure. As to why they hadn't done something of that nature before, they simply couldn't fathom why because boy did they all work well as a team.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Drama llama. Bernadette can be scary when she's angry. Anyways, I'm really craving fat chips and curry sauce right now. Also early update because I've written up to chapter eight and just thought why not?  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	5. Chapter Four: Halloween Mischief

**-October** **31st** **1975-**

 

"Are you sure everything is ready?" Bernadette asked Sirius, her stomach doing flips with anticipation. They'd spent the whole month meticulously planning out every little detail and it was clear that Mulciber knew something was up. That was another part of the plan, letting paranoia consume him and eat away at him gradually.

 

"Yeah."

 

"And they'll never be able to trace it back to us?"

 

"Not unless they check our wands to see who cast the spells."

 

Bernadette began to wonder if she should've used someone else's wand just in case she had to put the blame on them but that was verging on crazy. Still, she loved the thrill of the secrecy and planning out everything. After Mary had been released from the hospital wing she became more subdued and quiet than normal. To make matters worse whenever she spotted Mulciber in the hallway she'd visibly flinch and duck behind the nearest person. Not to mention, since the professors didn't know what spell was cast, it being an unfamiliar form of dark magic, they had no way to be sure who had attacked Mary and if they tried to punish Mulciber without valid proof his father would undoubtedly bring down hell on them. This behaviour only motivated Bernadette even more to really fuck him up that time.

 

"Okay, from here on out, just act natural." James gave them a thumbs up and signature cheeky grin. "Go team!"

 

"We should do this more often." Bernadette laughed quietly, waiting for an opportunity to slip out of the broom closet without being seen. "I don't know why we've never collaborated before."

 

James slipped out through the door first and joined a crowd of sixth years walking past, blending in seamlessly. Bernadette and Sirius peered through a small crack, watching and waiting for their respective moments.

 

"Probably because Evans blows a fuse every time we so much as breathe near you." She had to bite on her fist to stop herself from snorting. Unfortunately, he was right, hiding the whole scheme from Lily had been even more difficult  than actually executing it. Whenever those boys were involved, she turned into an extremely irritated Erumpent.

 

"To be fair, you lot can be a bit of an acquired taste. Basically a taste Lily really hasn't quite acquired yet."

 

"Or ever."

 

Bernadette took her next chance to slip out, spotting Marlene walking past and linked arms with the girl. Marlene knew all about the plan, being the only one of her friends who wouldn't scold her for putting herself in a future Death Eater's bad books. In fact, the Gryffindor girl thought it was highly amusing and would have helped out had she not been so busy trying to distract Lily from Bernadette's treachery.

 

They entered the Great Hall, doing a terrible job at concealing their excited jitters, and separated to their different tables. Connie was already seated, talking to Jane and Jasmine about the upcoming Slug Club party. Connie was an incredibly talented witch and had been on Slughorn's radar since first year when she perfectly executed the Accio spell to fetch a book on a high shelf when it was years above her level at the time. She'd therefore abandoned Bernadette every few weeks to attend one of the professor's dinner parties with a handful of other students, including Lily. Bernadette herself was endlessly annoyed by this fact but never voiced her complaints and instead let her friends borrow a dress whenever the occasion arose. She didn't want to go to the parties, not in the slightest, but she couldn't help but feel a bit left out on those nights she spent in the common room for hours, waiting for the return of her best friend.

 

"Where have you been?" The dark-skinned girl questioned as the brunette plopped herself across from her with a perfect view of the Slytherin table.

 

"You'll see."

 

Panic flashed across Connie's face. "No! You're not plotting anything, are you? Bernadette Darcy Sommers, don't you dare-!"

 

"Oh keep your voice down!" Bernadette leaned across the table to slam a hand over Connie's mouth. "It's nothing that bad..."

 

The stern and almost motherly glare that Connie shot her way did not make her feel even slightly remorseful for her actions. It had taken a lot of work and it had better pay off. It had taken a whole five sugar quills to even make Christopher consider helping them with the more complicated spells.

 

Shit, she spotted the familiar Slytherin boy strutting down the aisle between the Ravenclaw and Slytherin tables, a few burly looking boys trailing after him. She removed her hand from Connie's mouth and tried to look as natural as possible, laughing loudly at a joke nobody told.

 

"Oh Jasmine you're so funny!" She slapped the arm of the girl next to her, watching the dirty look Mulciber shot her way out of the corner of her eye. "Fucking asshole."

 

"Excuse me?" Jasmine had evidently heard the insult muttered under her breath.

 

"Not you, Jasmine...I was talking about...Professor Dumbledore?" She spoke the first name that came to her head and immediately wanted to crawl into a hole and die.

 

"What did he do?" Jane looked perplexed, leaning closer to Bernadette, eager to hear a shred of gossip.

 

"I just...really hate those glasses on him." She didn't sound particularly convincing. "Paired with his beard you can't see any of his facial features and therefore no one can appreciate his natural beauty."

 

All girls surrounding her looked like they had some serious questions but the very man she'd just insulted saved her, launching into another one of his speeches, this time talking about his favourite Halloween party he attended in which he found some muggle knitting magazines in the bathroom and spent the whole time reading them. Finally, he finished his drawn out story and food began to appear on all four of the long tables.

 

Bernadette kept her dark eyes trained on Mulciber while absentmindedly eating a Cauldron Cake. Initially he seemed confused as he reached for a liquorice wand and it darted all the way to the other end of the table. He soon became frustrated as the same happened with a sugar quill and a pumpkin pasty. Next she watched in delight as he went to take a gulp of pumpkin juice form his goblet but it proceeded to bite down on his nose.

 

The whole hall's attention was now on him as he screamed out in anger and pain, getting to his feet and throwing the goblet away. Then, all the cutlery within a twelve meter radius of him started to float up towards him, poking him every few seconds. He tried to get away as laughter began to flood his ears but a charm had been placed on the door which prevented him and only him from leaving the Great Hall. He next jogged back up towards the top of the room and Bernadette got a clear shot at him. She aimed her wand at him from under the table as he passed and suddenly he sprouted multicoloured feathers and a beak.

 

By that point most people were laughing while the professors seemed at a loss for action although Bernadette could've sworn she saw Professor Dumbledore wink at her while he pretended to be confused.

 

Mulciber let out a loud squawk and tried to swat away the knives and forks which continued to follow him. "Pretty Birdie!"

 

His voice sounded exactly like that of a parrot but he slammed his hands over his new beak, looking mortified.

 

"Go poopy!"

 

Bernadette snorted, close to hiding her face in the thick yellow jumper she wore to hide her sheer delight. She was the one who'd gotten the bird idea, her aunt Saoirse had five birds in total and loved to teach them little phrases. Usually Bernadette just tried to get them to repeat curse words after her but also found some of the stuff they hadn't taught them but they repeated anyways, highly entertaining.

 

"Ollie wants a treat!"

 

By that point most of the hall was in stitches. Mulciber was known as a rather arrogant but sullen boy who people were terrified of so it was needless to say that students were delighted to see him being on the receiving end for once. Professor McGonagall, however, seemed to have had enough. She waved her wand and Bernadette watched in disappointment as the cutlery fell to the floor with a crash and Mulciber took on his usual appearance despite looking more ruffled than he normally did.

 

The Hufflepuff girl turned round on her seat to grin at Sirius and James while hiding her face from McGonagall's beady eyes. It would take the rest of the boy's life to live that moment down. Karma (or rather three fifteen year olds with a taste for trouble) was a bitch.

 

"Mr Mulciber, my office now." Heels clacking on the stone floor, McGonagall summoned the new raging boy out of the hall. The sheer embarrassment on his face was enough to leave Bernadette feeling happy and satisfied.

 

She enjoyed the rest of the Halloween feast in peace, dodging Connie's various question which were flung her way before heading back down the the dungeons, trying and failing to wipe the shit-eating smirk off her face. Usually she didn't like causing humiliation on that level but after what he'd done to Mary, her conscience was crystal clear.

 

"That was bloody brilliant!" James cheered as the three met up the following day. "Did you see the look on his face when he turned into a bird?"    

 

"Nobody can possibly take him seriously anymore!" Sirius slung one of his arms around Bernadette and pulled her into a half-hug. "To think, he was one of the biggest bullies in school before yesterday!"

 

The trio laughed, more than simply proud at their accomplishment. 

 

"Do you guys think he knows it was us?" Bernadette's tone turned sour as she frowned slightly.

 

"Oh, definitely but he can't prove it." James looked even more wicked as he ruffled up his hair, a habit he often did to make it look as though he'd just gotten off his broom. "We left no trace so unless anybody saw us casting the enchantments, we're off scot-free!" 

 

They moved to sit down outside by the Black Lake, watching the Giant Squid graze the surface of the water as it swam underneath. Occasionally, Bernadette would toss a piece of cereal she'd nabbed from breakfast to the beast, delighted when the small morsels would disappear beneath the inky black water.

 

"First Quidditch match is on next week!" Bernadette almost bounced in excitement. "Are you two bursting with anticipation? I know I'm already looking forward to the twenty-ninth when we'll play against Ravenclaw."

 

Sirius rolled his eyes. He played beater, same as Bernadette, and he was very good at it but always pretended as though he wasn't all that interested, maintaining his devil-may-care image. "Suppose so. I guess I always enjoy beating the Slytherins."

 

James, on the contrary to Sirius, looked like a small excitable puppy at the mention of his favourite sport. He was clearly gunning to get made Captain next year as he told anyone who'd listen about the importance of his role as a chaser in regards to the whole game.

 

"My only issue is with the amount of extra practices we're doing. Prongs practically forced Amelia to book the pitch three times a week."

 

"Prongs?" Bernadette cocked her head, shifting her position so that she lay on her stomach, leaves crunching underneath her body. "Who the fuck names their kid that? It's pretty much child abuse."

 

James' face turned crimson and he avoided her piercing gaze. "It's nobody."

 

"It's him." Sirius nodded his head in the direction of his best friend and smirked a bit.

 

"Who calls you, Prongs, James? You should report them for bullying."

 

"...It's a nickname." He appeared both embarrassed and angry although most of his rage was directed towards the eldest Black son. "The others gave it to me."

 

She assumed that when he said 'the others', he was referring to Lupin, Pettigrew and Sirius. "What sort of a nickname is that? Do you just really like fondue or something?"

 

"What's fondue? Never mind, why don't you tell her, Padfoot." He kicked Sirius who sat next to him.

 

Bernadette burst out laughing, burying her head in her arms. "Oh that one's even worse! I'm not even going to question your logic in that! Go on, what do you call Lupin and Pettigrew?"

 

She eagerly propped her head up on her hands before catching sight of a small spider and letting it crawl onto her hand and run around.

 

"Moony and Wormtail."

 

"Why d'ya call them that? Does Lupin just pull down his pants a lot? Has Pettigrew got a secret worm collection?" She switched the spider over to her pointer finger on her right hand. The boys seemed slightly unnerved by her actions.

 

"Yes, Sommers, you're completely right." She could sense his sarcasm but wanted to take his words for truth.

 

Bernadette slowly sat up, keeping her gaze on the little spider before inching over to James.

 

"Hey Prongs, are you scared of spiders?" He scorched back so that he hit into the beech tree behind him. "Say 'hi' to Claude, he's my new buddy."

 

"Don't you dare, Sommers."

 

"Oh come on, he's only a little money spider."

 

"That little fucker is huge, get him away from me!"

 

When Sirius barked out a laugh she turned on him. "What about you, Padfoot? You're not scared, are you?"

 

"No way." The slight tremble in his voice said otherwise.

 

"So would you mind holding Claude for a minute then?" She feigned innocence, holding the spider out closer to his face which morphed into an expression of disgust. "The tough bad boy Sirius Black cannot be afraid of a little spider, can he?"

 

Simply to prove her wrong, Sirius held out a hand and motioned for her to hand over the creature which honestly was no bigger than a Knut. Smirking in victory, Bernadette plopped Claude in Sirius' hand. He lasted no more than two seconds before he screamed and leapt to his feet, wiping his hands frantically on his jeans.

 

"Called it."

~~

 

Later that same week, Bernadette received a small note in the post. At first she'd hoped that it was a reply from Henry, he sure was taking his time getting back to her, but then she noticed that it was a school owl.

 

Hello Bernie,

Reacentley I got me hands on an infent Graphorn and was wandering if

maybee ye'd wanna pop over and have a look at noon tomorroe?

Hope to see ye, Hagrid.

 

Through the numerous spellings and grammatical errors and not to mention atrocious handwriting, Bernadette came to understand that Hagrid had somehow acquired a young Graphorn, which was not notorious for being friendly. They had a quadruple 'X' rating from the Ministry and were large enough to be mounted by trolls. She knew well that it was illegal for Hagrid to possess such a dangerous creature but she'd always wanted to see one and certainly they wouldn't be as aggressive young. Right?

 

Therefore she set off the next day, bundled up in two scarves (having robbed Connie's), layered sweaters, mittens her gran had knitted her last Christmas, a thick woolly hat and two pairs of fluffy socks. As October had turned to November the weather had gotten increasingly cold, much to Bernadette's annoyance as it became harder to keep the plants she hid in her dorm alive and healthy. When it came to temperature, Bernadette was always annoyed. When it was hot she complained about being sweaty and tired and when it was cold she proclaimed that her fingers would fall off.

 

Hagrid's hut was not too far from the castle but with the creeping frost, Bernadette felt as though the journey was taking her years. The half-giant lived in a small wooden hut on the outskirts of the Forbidden Forest, the few windows glowed orange against the dark gloomy sky and a thick plume of smoke billowed out of is chimney. Bernadette rapped loudly on the tall wooden door with her knuckles, hugging her clothes closer to her body. It took Hagrid a mere few seconds to rush over and open up his home for her.

 

"Ah, yeh look frozen, Bernie." He dragged her in before shutting the door closed behind her. "'Ave a rock cake."

 

Bernadette had visited Hagrid's hut many times throughout her years at Hogwarts. She met him in her first year when he caught her trying to sneak into the Forbidden Forest on a dare from some stupid Gryffindor. Upon learning about he love of magical creatures they became fast friends and she came over for tea regularly. The hut consisted of a single room with a crackling fire, over which hung a giant copper kettle, a huge bed with a patchwork quilt and dead pheasants and hams hung from the ceiling. And in the centre of his large round dining table lay a fast asleep, baby Graphorn.

 

Bernadette covered her mouth to hide a squeal. She'd never thought that she'd ever get to see one in real life. It looked just like all the illustrations in her Care of Magical Creatures textbook, hump-backed with greyish-purple skin which she knew was even tougher than most dragon skin. It had two large golden horns sprouting out of its head and its mouth was covered by tentacle-like appendages.

 

"What did you name him?" She whispered, sitting down and taking a giant teacup the size of her face up in both hands and relishing in the warmth that emitted from it,

 

"Dunno. 'Aven't decided yet." Hagrid dragged a large finger softly over the back of the Graphorn. "Got any ideas, Bernie?"

 

As Hagrid didn't usually pronounce 't's due to his unusual accent, he was one of the few people who didn't call her 'Etta'. She delve into thought for a minute, trying to come up with a suitable name.

 

"We should go with something nice and simple," Bernadette took a long gulp of tea, wincing as it burned her throat on the way down. "Like Bob or Tim or...Clemency."

 

"I dunno abou' yeh bu' I meself like Billy."

 

Bernadette gasped and silently clapped her hands together. "That's perfect. But, Hagrid, where did you find him?"

 

The giant man looked silently embarrassed, tugging anxiously on his beard. "Oh...I was havin' a few drinks down in the village an' some man offered 'im fer free!"

 

Bernadette's smile sunk down into a worried frown. "What if someone else finds out about Billy, Hagrid? You're not supposed to keep Graphorn's as pets, however adorable they may be! Usually I'm all for rule-breaking but you could get in some serious trouble!"

 

Hagrid put down his huge cup and mirrored her expression. "Dunno, now tha' yeh say it. I don' think I can keep Billy in here fer much longer."

 

"Well shit." The pair fell into silence as the baby Graphorn who even as a newborn was far too big for Bernadette to hold in her arms. "Is there any possibility that we could ask Professor Dumbledore to sort something out?"

 

"Nah, Dumbledore has bin so busy with the Order as o' late."

 

"What's the Order?" Bernadette sat up straight in her chair. "Is is some kind of secret organisation? Can I join? Will I get to fight against You-Know-Who?"

 

"No!" Hagrid stood up so suddenly that he woke up Billy who growled slightly before inching closer to Bernadette. The half-giant waved his huge hands around as though he'd just made a grave mistake. "Forge' I said anythin'! It's nothin' yeh should be concerned wit'."

 

Bernadette pouted slightly and sank down in her seat once again, running her hand over the Graphorn's tough hide. It was surprisingly affectionate, leaning into her touch and making a sound similar to hat of a purring cat.

 

"Fine...I'll find out eventually anyways, Hagrid. There's no way I'm not fighting against the Death Eaters as soon as I turn seventeen so I'll join this Order at some point."

 

Hagrid sat down again but more softly so that nothing shook like it had when he stood up. "I'll talk ter Dumbledore abou' findin' a sanctuary or somethin'."

 

When Bernadette left his hut about an hour later, she made a beeline for the Hufflepuff common room. She ignored the various people who greeted her after she tapped out the code on one of the barrels and flew up the stairs to her dormitory. She didn't even bother shedding her warm attire which was now causing her to sweat in the inside heat before she threw herself on top of Connie who had been trying to do her homework on her bed.

 

"Connie!" She was practically shaking from excitement. "You know how I was visiting Hagrid today? Yeah well, he let something slip about a secret organisation he's in with Dumbledore!"

 

"And this is important, why?" The girl didn't intend to sound rude but she was exhausted and stressed over the safety of her family.

 

"Don't you get it? If we join up you and your family would be protected! You won't have to go into hiding or anything!American chocolate is disgusting too so we simply have to join this Order."

 

Bernadette was surprised when Connie didn't immediately begin to sing her praises for being such an amazing friend and deflated slightly. In her disappointment she didn't see Connie tuck a crumpled up letter stained with tears underneath her pillow.

 

Connie forced a smile. "Of course, Etta."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hagrid's dialogue is so difficult to write but he deserves more appreciation. Honestly I've never read about him in any fanfiction before. Another early update but because I have so much pre-written I get more and more frustrated every week just wanting to put it all out there at once.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	6. Chapter Five: Secrets

**-November** **1975-**

 

Bernadette finally received a reply to her letter for Henry just a bit later that week. All the excitement with Mulciber, the Halloween prank and Billy had distracted her from her anxiousness about Henry.

 

 _Dear_ _Bernie_ ,

_Sorry for the late reply but I've been transferred to St Mungo's again. I'm not sure what I've got this time but my skin is covered in these ugly rashes all around my neck and I can't talk since my threat has started to close up. I thought I overheard the Healers saying that I have scrofungulus and it makes the most sense. Don't worry though, it's treatable and Mum isn't too concerned but Dad has gone into panic mode again. Honestly he's had magic in his life for twenty years now and still isn't used to it._

 

_Also don't pay any attention to the old bat. Christopher said that she predicts some horrible tragedy every year and that they never come true. I'm fine except for the scrofungulus and I expect to be out of here in no more than a fortnight so you needn't be fussing about loss and suffering and all that malarkey. Just focus on your exams instead of some stupid false prediction._

_To answer your question, no, we haven't heard anything from William. Mum blames it on his friends, you know, all the Death Eater ones. I don't know why'd you'd ask though, it's better without him in the house. Dad bought me a new muggle book before I went into the hospital since I can't see anyone because I might be contagious. It's really heavy and long but I think I might get it finished since I don't really have anything else to do. Gran also made me some gloves in case I get cold. Mum offered to use magic so the process would go faster but Gran still thinks it's taboo._

_Anyways, the ward is kinda lonely, there's only one other person here, some old guy with Dragon Pox and he seems a bit out of it. Sometimes if I look out the window I can see people walking past with elephant trunks or an extra hand sticking out of their foreheads so that can help to pass the time when my eyes get sore from reading. I wish you were here, sometimes I like to pretend that you are, sitting next to me and making stupid jokes and lecturing me on some boring plant. I hate to say it but I really miss you. But I'll get to see you at Christmas! I've already got your present, bought it with my own money and everything! It's brilliant so mine must be as good or even better._

_Write back quickly, I'm so bloody bored,_

_Henry._

Bernadette felt her mouth go dry and tried to take a gulp of water to compensate but ended up choking on it.

 

"You okay, Etta?" Connie patted her back to stop the girl's coughing, putting down her copy of The Daily Prophet. "Who's that from?"

 

"Nobody." The brunette spoke quickly before muttering a quiet 'Incendio' and watching the piece of paper burst into flames and hastily changing the subject. "Any more disappearances? Anyone we know?"

 

Connie nodded solemnly. "Walter O'Connell and his muggle wife were found dead in their house. It looked like they'd been tortured before they were killed too."

 

Bernadette felt her mood come down even more. She remembered Walter O'Connell, he had been four years her senior and had been a wonderful prefect for three years. She suspected he had been targeted after that article he had published, talking about the numerous flaws in Lord Voldemort's objective and how in the end he simply couldn't win.

 

"That's horrible." Her sorrow began to mingle with anger. Walter had been so kind-hearted and helpful and had gotten Bernadette out of trouble many times by sweet-talking the teachers. He deserved to live a long full life but this new world was now their terrifying reality.

~~

 

That weekend marked the start of the Quidditch season. The first match was always played between Gryffindor and Slytherin. Since Josephine had joined her team that year as a chaser Bernadette sported an emerald green cloak and a large banner displaying her sister's name on it surrounded by serpents.

 

"I'm hurt, Sommers." When James caught sight of her appearance he pretended to wipe away a tear. "I was so sure that I would have your support out there but now...you're dead to me, traitor!"

 

Bernadette poked out her tongue and threw a plush toy snake she'd also brought along. "Be prepared for defeat, Potter!"

 

"What are you wearing, Bernie?" Josephine's voice came from behind her. The young girl looked absolutely mortified. Face crimson as it stood out against her green uniform. "You're embarrassing me in front of my friends."

 

She nodded towards the rest of the Slytherin team who were laughing their asses off.

 

"That was kinda my whole objective, Joey. Oh and Christopher got his hands on a giant hissing snake hat! We'll be cheering as loud as we can so don't you worry your pretty little head." She conjured confetti to come out of her wand and fly all around Josephine.

 

"Go back to your dorm and change, now."

 

"No!" Bernadette started to trail after Josephine when her sister tried to walk away. "Why won't you let me be a proud and supportive older sister? Either way, Lily told me not to cheer for Gryffindor because:" She cleared her throat to imitate Lily. "That arrogant toe-rag deserves to fall off his broom and break every bone in his body!"

 

Josephine sighed heavily like a very tired elderly woman. "At least get rid of the banner, I know what my name is."

 

Bernadette said sure, you know, like a liar.

~~

 

The Quidditch Pitch was was long and oval-shaped usually with grass so green it reminded Bernadette of the muggle candy Appleheads. It was surrounded by stands in which the crowd would watch on, every second stand was decorated in the respective house colours of each team playing. On either end of the pitch sat three tall hoops which were guarded by the keepers whose job it was to stop the Quaffle from passing through them.

 

The Gryffindor and Slytherin teams walked out onto the pitch as the crowd cheered, Bernadette's voice being one of the loudest. She loved Quidditch and had been playing it since she was four and able to properly sit on her eldest brother's broom which she'd stolen from under his bed. The two captains shook hands before Madam Hooch released the snitch and the bludgers and took the Quaffle up in her hands.

 

With the sharp blow of her whistle, the Quaffle was tossed into the air and immediately snatched by one James Potter who was already streaking towards the other end of the pitch.

 

"And Potter with the Quaffle," the usual commentator, a young Ravenclaw girl by the name of Flora began to narrate the match. "He dodges Berkeley and passes to Knight. She's about to score ladies and gents, looks like Gryffindor will get and early head-star-Oh no! Knight drops the Quaffle and Wilson of Slytherin takes it. And a brilliant bludger from Black!"

 

Those cheering for Gryffindor burst into applause for Sirius' wonderful hit and Bernadette couldn't help but acknowledge that he was almost as good as she was. Almost.

 

"Gryffindor with the Quaffle once again, Higgins passes to Knight and Knight passes to Potter and...Potter scores!"

 

The score flashed 10-0 and those decked out in red and gold cheered loudly as James flew past, winking at Lily who Bernadette saw scoff loudly and cross her arms in a huff.

 

The match ticked on for another twenty minutes before there was any real excitement. Both teams were roughly balanced in points and had been neck-and-neck most of the game and Bernadette expected that the only thing that would disrupt this streak would be the spotting of the golden snitch.

 

"What's this folk? Looks like Sommers has caught sight of the snitch! She's telling Black! Maybe she's the one who should've been Seeker!" Flora spoke quickly and clearly into the microphone. "As Slytherin's newest edition, many have wondered if Josephine would live up to her older sister's reputation as the sweetest and yet most deadly beater Hufflepuff has ever seen."

 

Bernadette felt her face heat up but continued to scream out her younger sister's name while brandishing her large banner.

 

"Now Grant is on Black's tail but it looks like the youngest son of the Ancient House of Black may have had just enough of a head-start to win this whole thing."

 

Both seekers took a sharp turn so that they were travelling parallel to the ground. Grant seemed to be catching up to Regulus but he was a foot and a half ahead of her, hand outstretched and merely centimetres from closing around the small golden ball.

 

"Black has caught the golden snitch!" Flora's voice reverberated around the stands, somehow managing to rise above the noise that the Slytherin fans were making. "Slytherin wins 210-60!"

 

After the match, Bernadette and Christopher waited for Josephine outside the changing rooms in complete silence except for the faint hissing coming from Christopher's hat. The corridor was dark and a bit chilly, the only source of light and warmth coming from two lit torches on either side of the wall.

 

"Did Henry write to you?" Her soft voice sounded much louder in the small space. "Did he tell you what's going on?"

 

Christopher glanced at her, furrowing his brow. "Yeah, I know, scrofungulus. Nasty, probably got it from the ghoul in the shed."

 

Bernadette turned so that she was fully facing him. "I think I should leave."

 

"Leave what?"

 

"Hogwarts."

 

"This isn't funny, Bernie." He noticed her solemn expression. "You're not joking, are you?"

 

The Hufflepuff girl sighed and buried her face in her hands. "I just want to be with Henry. He's always been sickly and caught bugs easily but this time I have a really bad feeling."

 

Christopher slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her into his chest. It was unusual for him to show her any sort of affection so she understood for once that he was serious. "Don't worry, Henry said he'll be out in a fortnight which means we can see him at Christmas. Every time we thought he couldn't pull through, he did, so don't you go stressing over it. That's the last thing Henry wants."

 

His words did absolutely nothing to console her but she faked a smile and reached up to ruffle his dark hair. "Okay, I won't worry then, he'll be fine...he always is. And let's not tell Joey about this, she needs to focus on school."

 

Christopher chuckled. "You're one to talk, didn't you fail Ancient Runes?"

 

Bernadette felt her face heat up in embarrassment. One of her lifelong regrets in third year was thinking that Ancient Runes would look good on a job application and therefore taking the class, not realising how much work she would have to put in.

 

"Didn't you fail History of Magic and Charms for your O.W.L's?" She asked innocently before he whacked her over the head just as Josephine walked out of the changing room looking wide-eyed and cheery which was a rare occurrence for the usually rather sullen girl.

 

Upon spotting her sister Bernadette pretended to play a trumpet. "And there she is! The star! The legend! The Quidditch bitch! Josephine Meredith Sommers!"

 

Christopher and Bernadette then began to dance around in a circle chanting: "Josephine! Josephine!". The girl in question didn't tell them off like she usually would and instead smiled to herself and dragged them behind her.

 

"Wanna nick some food from the kitchens and have a picnic?" Bernadette suggested as they made their way back up towards the castle. "To celebrate this glorious moment before Hufflepuff destroy your asses in May, of course!"

 

"You're pathetic." Christopher sniffed. "Ravenclaw is gonna come out on top this year for sure."

 

Josephine gave him a funny look, peering up through her thick fringe. "But Chris, you don't even play Quidditch."

 

The boy looked mildly offended as he gasped and held a hand to his heart, hat still hissing. "That doesn't mean that I can't be very passionate about my house winning the Quidditch Cup, little lady."

 

As they walked through the halls, chattering about nonsense such as upcoming muggle films and Christmas presents, Bernadette spotted a terrified-looking Peter Pettigrew sprinting past them. Strands of his messy blond hair clung to his forehead with sweat and he was panting as though he hadn't done any exercise in years.

 

"Oi, Pettigrew!" Bernadette stopped in her tracks as she hailed him. "Where are you going in such a hurry? You look like you've just seen Merlin's saggy left-"

 

"Hospital Wing." He panted, about to take off again but the girl grasped him by his upper arm.

 

"What happened?" Worry began to flood her voice. "Who's hurt?"

 

The boy looked as though he was debating telling her and shrank back slightly. "Remus, he fainted after the match."

 

Her dark eyes grew wide. Remus Lupin seemed to fall ill quite often, once a month actually. He would appear pale and sickly for a few days before disappearing for one, claiming that his mother was sick or that there was a family emergency. Every month.

 

"Is he okay?"

 

"What do you think?" Slight sarcasm laced his tone, something she had never heard him come out with but he still appeared to be afraid of her.

 

"Sorry, stupid question." She shook her head and released her tight grip on his arm. "Tell Lupin that I hope he feels better soon."

 

She and her two siblings watched as the boy vanished around the corner before resuming their journey but for the rest of the day, Bernadette couldn't help but feel suspicion creeping into her mind about where a certain Gryffindor prefect went every month.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I abandoned writing chapter 9 and started on chapter 22, does anyone else do this? Or am I just really weird?  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	7. Chapter Seven: Confrontation

**-November 1975-**

Bernadette hoped to God that she wouldn't be caught at half five in the morning, running around the school halls with her potted dittany so lovingly named Herby and two chocolate bars she'd taken from her hidden stash at the bottom of her school trunk. As soon as she saw the pale orange light filling the room she'd darted off to get changed into her uniform, splash some water on her face and cover up the signs of a sleepless night with makeup on.

Portraits grumbled in annoyance as she sprinted past, feet thumping loudly on the stone floor and panting as though she'd just run a marathon and not just up a flight of stairs and down a corridor. To be fair, it was a rather long corridor. The brunette mumbled to herself, just really spouting random words from her train of thought before she burst into the Hospital Wing. Her dramatic arrival drew the attention of the only awake occupant in the room. He stared at her tiredly yet with surprise and took in her slightly disheveled appearance due to getting dressed so hastily.

"Are you hurt?" His voice came out hoarse and croaky as though he'd been screaming very loudly all night. "Should I call Madam Pomfrey?"

Bernadette hunched over, placing down Herby and her parchment to catch her breath. "No, I'm fine, just  _really_  unfit. Honestly I could play Quidditch for hours on end but ask me to run for longer than two minutes and I'm down."

Remus Lupin was confused as to why Bernadette Sommers, a girl he honestly wasn't very close with, had burst into the Hospital Wing, looking like a madwoman if she was not injured. He had thought that she was a bit strange, always laughing a bit too loudly, often seen talking to plants, fighting with professors over trivial matters and he had once seen her playing with a bowtruckle under her desk in Potions. She didn't make much coherent sense but then again, Lily was good friends with her and he thought what she'd done to Mulciber was pretty cool so he assumed that she was a nice person under all her eccentricity.

"Anyways, I'm just here to have a little chat." She walked over and seated herself next to his bed, placing Herby on her lap. "Now before I get into this, you are not allowed to say a word until I'm finished. Okay?"

Remus furrowed his eyebrows and could already feel a headache coming on but nodded silently, seeing no reason to argue with her.

"I'm just gonna be upfront about this because, no offence, you look like actual shit." She took a deep breath, really hoping that he wouldn't freak out on her. "I know what you are. I know that you're a werewolf or a lycanthrope or whatever you wanna call it."

His face turned an even more sickly shade of white even though she hadn't thought it possible. A shard of fear pierced his heart and he swore that he forgot to breathe for a minute. How had she found out? Was it Snape? He'd been sniffing around them for a while now and Bernadette was always nice to him. Would she tell the whole school? Would parents be so mad that there was a monster socialising with their children that he'd be expelled?

"I found out because I noticed something shady ages ago but recently I've been running from some personal problems and I cope by pouring myself into anything I can to try and forget about it. Anyways, to your luck, I picked up some weird vibes in DADA so I went to the library and did a bit of research and decided that I can try to help." Bernadette motioned towards Herby. "This right here is my child who I love more than my actual mother so you'd better take good care of him."

She held out the dittany plant towards him, feeling slightly regretful but smiling. It's not like she would actually use Herby anyways but Remus was someone who actually needed him.

Remus felt as though his brain had short-circuited. His fear was now mingling with complete bafflement and he was starting to feel as though he'd be sick.

"Dittany..." He looked confused and as though he had a million questions but took it from her anyways. "Why?"

Bernadette sighed. "For starters, Essence of Dittany isn't as strong as the plant in its natural form, its more like a watered down version and Madam Pomfrey used the last of her supply when Mary was hexed. Recently it's become a rare plant due to the muggle deforestation and stuff and not even Professor Sprout has one. Whenever your lycanthropy is bothering you or whatever just crush up one of the leaves and make it into a tea or chew on it and rub it into a wound. It might make you feel a bit dizzy but one leaf should last you roughly forty-eight hours."

"I meant why would you give it to me?"

"Because..." She paused, only realising her real reason at that moment and feeling incredibly embarrassed about it since it was a bit wishy-washy. Scratch that, it was incredibly wishy-washy. "You remind me a bit of my brother. If someone had something that could help him, I'd want them to give it to him."

Remus stayed silent and thankfully didn't press her about her brother. Nobody else knew about him. She didn't like to admit it but she was scared of what might happen to him if anyone affiliated to her mother's side of the family found out about him. She was very nearly disowned for marrying a muggle and if they found out that her son didn't have any magical powers, Death Eaters would surely come after them to 'prune the garden' as her mother said her family referred to such things as.

"Also, I hope you don't mind me asking but," Her tone resumed its light and cheery air. "Do you have any sort of affiliation with a stag, a black dog and what I'm pretty sure was a rat? It could very well be a hamster though. I might just be looking into things too much but they seemed pretty suspicious. I have a few theories but some are pretty outlandish. Like I was wondering if your friends were perhaps transfiguring themselves into animals to help you or maybe they'd become unregistered Animagi and I wouldn't put breaking the law past them."

Bernadette Sommers was a whole lot smarter than what people gave her credit for. She was often teased for being 'stupid' and not paying attention in class but he was starting to think that she just made rash decisions. If she could figure all this out in such a short space of time, her intelligence was being seriously underestimated.

"How'd you figure that one out?" By that point his head was pounding, like there was a tiny person inside his brain, trying to break out.

The Hufflepuff girl shrugged but inside she was celebrating for actually being somewhat correct in her wild and somewhat odd guess. "Dunno, that's just what I would want to do if one of my friends was a werewolf. If I couldn't help them as a human then I'd help them as an animal since they won't attack them unprovoked. It also seems like the kind of crazy bullshit James or Sirius would come up with."

Remus sighed the sigh of a man many years his senior, a sigh of complete and utter exhaustion. "So what are you going to do now? Tell the while school there's a monster in their midst? Blackmail me?"

The fear was back now pure and wrecking havoc on his mind. He supposed things had been going far too smoothly, he'd forgotten that in his life, fortune never favoured him. It really was only a matter of time before someone found out.

"No!" She stood up and almost woke up a student a few beds away as they groaned and rolled over. "That's horrible and quite frankly I'm offended you would think so lowly of me. I literally came here and gave you my child so you would experience less pain and you thought I would blab your secret? Snitches get stitches, dude! That's like Bro Code Rule #1!"

Remus almost laughed but he was in too much pain. "Sorry, Bernadette...and thank you."

The girl shook her head, messy hair flying everywhere. "Don't sweat it, helping people makes me feel better about myself so really I'm just a stupid, selfish bitch who doesn't know when to quit. Also I'd appreciate it if you called me Etta since we're bros now!"

She began to back out of the room, grin friendly and playful. "And lots of people think scars are sexy so I don't wanna see you hiding them anymore, mate. Embrace yourself for who you are, Lupin!"

She opened the door to leave before remembering that she'd forgotten to give him his chocolate. It was a muggle brand which she enjoyed immensely and bought in bulk every summer when her father brought her to London.

"Oi," he turned to send her a small smile. "Go long."

She honestly didn't mean to hit him in the face but hoped the chocolate would compensate for the damage she'd caused.

Her next stop that morning was Professor Slughorn's office. She didn't do well with sleep deprivation and knew for a fact that he kept the door unlocked at all times. Even if he did lock it she could always use  _Alohamora_. Now that she thought about it, what was the point of magic folk using keys if there was a spell that could just just unlock it. They had to cast an enchantment if they really didn't want anyone getting in. Oh well, she'd learned over all her years at Hogwarts not to question wizard logic. Hopefully Professor Slughorn wouldn't notice a missing Wideye Potion if she nicked it.

Apparently he didn't as he acted as his usual self when he stopped her in the corridor to compliment her once again on her fiery spirit and insist that she come to his next party and didn't even notice her oddly twitchy behaviour. Connie did however and quietly took her aside to ask if she'd taken drugs. Bernadette denied the claim and ended up telling her best friend that she couldn't sleep because she'd had to do her homework so she wasn't completely lying.

The rest of her classes for the day dragged on far too slowly for her now overly-active brain. She was starting to get the impression that the potion she's drank was a bit old as it fermented over time. It was close to impossible to sit still for the first few hours but by lunch time she was starting to calm down a bit but it still felt like all her senses had been dialled to eleven.

The afternoon classes were a lot better but she still had the strange urge to go on a run. She knew for a fact that she would not be able to sleep that night unless she got a miracle from the heavens above.

Bernadette lightly padded up the stairs to the Astronomy Tower, packet of cigarettes clutched tightly in her right hand and her wand in her left. The twitches had left her after dinner and instead she was left feeling as though she'd just woken up after a very long nap and drank two cups of coffee. She hummed to herself as she reached the top and slowly opened the door.

"Oh." She stopped in her tracks as Sirius turned around to face her, cigarette dangling from his lips which soon spread into a grin. "I hope I'm not intruding."

"Never." He motioned over for her to join him.

She slid her legs through the gaps in the railing and took a long drag of smoke. She could already feel the cold air starting to push its way through her clothes and take hold of her. Bernadette grinned as she felt a shiver slide down her spine.

"Any news?"

"Marlene broke up with her boyfriend, Carlo. He got pretty upset and called some nasty things. She's understandably not too pleased and has vowed to take revenge."

Sirius chuckled slightly and the pair fell into a comfortable lull of silence, letting the chill of the evening seep into their skin.

"I heard what you did for Moony." Sirius spoke up after a while. "You're a really cool girl, Sommers."

"It was nothing, I just wanted to help." She shrugged, swinging her dangling legs back and forth. "Anyways, which animal are you? The rat?"

He lightly smacked her arm. "No, I'm a dog, James is a stag and Peter is a rat. I suppose the nicknames make more sense now."

Bernadette laughed a bit, remembering how confused all of the student body was hearing what the boys had started calling each other. "Yeah, but they're still the weirdest nicknames I've ever heard in my life."

"Shut up, you know you want one." He reached over to mess up her hair even more so that it stuck up oddly at the back in a similar way to James'.

"No I don't," Bernadette scoffed. "You'd give me something horrible like 'Pignose' or 'Cowbreath'. I'm perfectly fine with my name as it is."

"What does everyone else call you then?"

"Most people call me 'Etta', my family call me 'Bernie' and when I'm in trouble I'm called 'Bernadette Darcy'." She lit another cigarette with the tip of her wand.

Sirius frowned. "Well I refuse to refer to you by your surname anymore, we're past that but I'm not calling you the same thing as everyone else."

"Why not?" She frowned slightly and cocked her head to one side as she peered at him. "What makes you so special?"

"Because you love me." He winked at her.

Bernadette raised a single brow, trying her best not to laugh. "You're pathetic. Just call me whatever you want so long as it's not highly insulting."

Sirius turned his attention to the night sky, thinking hard. His skin looked almost silver under the pale moonlight which stood stark against his dark, shaggy hair. She could admit that he was extremely attractive but he could also be a complete arse and she only saw him as a friend. Yet another reason why he was off-limits was due to his fling with Marlene at the start of fourth year. Girl code dictated that you never date one of your friend's ex-boyfriends or you might as well have murdered her family.

"Well...you like plants." He said slowly as she nodded. "And your name ends in 'ette'. Due to those single two details I have now dubbed thee 'Nettle', purveyor of mischief and aider to the Marauders."

"That's stupid."

"You're stupid."

"True." She shrugged. "But so's that nickname."

"Whatever, Nettle." A shit-eating smirk spread across his lips. "Also I'm the only one allowed to call you that because I'm so special."

Bernadette knew that fighting with him was pointless as it would only motivate him to come up with something worse for her. So, she accepted the nickname with a small sigh and turned her attention to the night sky, stars dotting the inky black canvas like freckles. Perhaps her inability to sleep was not such a bad thing after all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Stayed up till two in the morning talking about Anne with an E with my friend while she watched season two. Cole is my child and Billy Andrews can suck my dick honestly he needs to reevaluate his life choices. Also my arse hurts cause I was on my exercise bike for almost an hour while watching Starkid musicals. It's so sore and I only burnt 102 calories.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	8. Chapter Six: Detective Sommers

**-November 1975-**

As the days in November flew by, the weather only got worse. The cold air had seeped into the castle walls, causing Bernadette to appear in all her classes wrapped up in gloves and scarves and hats. She refused to take them off even when Professor McGonagall threatened to deduct house points if she didn't wear the correct uniform.

Her only saving grace was the current topic in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Bernadette didn't have a problem with the subject but their teachers changed every year and the subject material wasn't nearly as riveting as that of Herbology or Care of Magical Creatures. But Professor Thames, a rather sickly and thin woman whose watery eyes looked huge compared to her gaunt and sallow face, upon hearing that they had not covered werewolves in their third year dedicated the week's worth of classes to the topic.

Bernadette had a rather strange fascination with werewolves as a young girl ever since her father had told her of the muggle fairy-tale ' _Little Red Riding-Hood_ '. She asked her mother if they really existed and was delighted to find out that they did. Her first thought was not to be scared but to want to befriend one. She hadn't understood that it must have been a painful existence and instead thought that it would be fun to turn into a giant beast every full moon and do whatever she wanted to. The younger her had thought that if she was a werewolf she could scare the village children so much that they wouldn't pick on Henry anymore. Nothing more than wishful thinking.

As she grew older she came to realise how much of a burden it actually was but still kept her fascination in the topic.

In their first year they had spoken about how to cure a werewolf bite even if one couldn't really call it a 'cure' as all it did was stop the person from dying, they were still condemned to a life of suffering and ridicule and they were supposed to have gone over the actual creatures in second year but that Professor spent the whole class napping and let the students do whatever they wanted. The full topic of lycanthropy was supposed to be finished in their third year but they never got around to it as their professor went missing before she could teach it to them. So instead they squished what should have been three years of learning into a single week.

"Now students, if you would kindly turn to page three-hundred and ninety-four we will talk about how werewolves differ from average wolves." Professor Thames' squeaky voice barely reached their ears. "Does anyone have any ideas?"

A few hands flew up into the air, Lily's and Connie's included. Bernadette wasn't big on participation in class unless it was something fun hence she kept both arms on the table where she was carving a small sketch of a werewolf into the table. She didn't care how they differed from regular wolves, most people would have the sense to run if a giant beast began chasing them.

"How about...Sommers."

As to why Professor Thames had such a need to only pick students who quote clearly had not put their hands up, Bernadette didn't know. What she did know, however, was that it was a pain in her ass.

"I don't know, Miss." She sat up slightly straighter in her seat, hoping desperately that she would not embarrass herself in front of the class. "My first guess is that they'd be a lot bigger and slightly more humanoid than normal wolves. Probably more aggressive too."

"Correct." Professor Thames sucked at her teeth which looked to be too big for her mouth. "But their snouts are also a lot shorter and they have tufted tails. It's also notable that they do not attack other animals unless provoked, only human-Yes Lupin?"

The young Hufflepuff glanced behind her to see a very pale and clammy Remus Lupin, looking as though he'd just witnessed death.

"May I be excused? I have a headache."

"Oh, yes, of course. Could someone please escort him to the Hospital Wing in case he faints?"

Sirius who was sat beside him stood up and wrapped an arm around Lupin's waist to support him as his legs shook. Bernadette furrowed her eyebrows. The Gryffindor prefect grew ill pretty much every month for about a week or so and would disappear for one of those nights, usually claiming that his mother was in need of him. Normally she wouldn't question it but she'd been needing something to distract her from the bad feeling in her gut and these conveniently timed disappearances seemed to be the perfect distraction.

Normally she didn't pay much attention to Remus Lupin, he was nice and close to Lily but she didn't find him as fun as James and Sirius. She'd never taken the time to think about how mysterious he was but better late than never. Some sleuthing would be required and would serve as the perfect distraction to her inner problems.

On one of the rare occasions she had had a conversation with Severus Snape, she recalled him mentioning something about Lupin and how he suspected the boy was a werewolf although Bernadette hadn't stuck around long enough to listen to his reasons why. It seemed more than plausible now that she truly thought about it.

The lesson continued and Bernadette was a lot more focused than normal, actually taking notes in class for the first time in her life. Sirius returned ten minutes before the class finished, mouthing something to his friends which Bernadette couldn't quite catch and returned to his seat, uncharacteristically quiet.

By the end of class, she still wasn't satisfied with her amount of knowledge and was too impatient for the next class so she went to the place she knew she could obtain the information she needed.

It was a rare and strange occurrence to find Bernadette Darcy Sommers in the school library of her own volition. For starters, she preferred muggle literature and the library was used mostly as a make-out place for horny students who hoped that Madam Pince wouldn't catch them. That one freezing Monday in November stood as one of these rare occurrences.

Sending a brief nod towards Madam Pince, she made a beeline for the shelves of dusty books and began scanning titles. It didn't take awfully long to find the section on Magical Beasts as it was the only one she had willingly visited on occasion. After choosing the most recent texts she moved onto the Astronomy section where she was hoping they kept calendars and copies of the moon cycle. To her relief, she was correct in her assumption and decided that she had enough to keep her going for a while.

Sighing heavily and sinking into an armchair she pulled the first book the spotted into her lap and opened it up. She couldn't stay long, only a few hours before it was curfew and she would be required back in her dormitory. She was already skipping dinner so it had better be worth her while since it was also Pudding Night.

 _'A Brief History of Lycanthropy'_ by Wilfred Cahill, the first book was titled. It was roughly as thick as her head so she doubted that it was brief in any sense of the word. How they even had so much information on werewolves, she hadn't a clue. Perhaps some may have thought her mad, even she herself was starting to believe that but she had to know if Remus Lupin was a lycanthrope. Maybe not mad and simply nosy?

Bernadette opened the index, not intending on reading the whole thing as that would be insane, even for her. Dragging her finger down the list of contents it stopped by ' _Identification: Appearance and General Traits'_. Frantically she flipped through the worn and yellowing pages trying to find the one which bore the number two-hundred and thirteen. There it was.

_While human, a lycanthrope may be as good or kind as the next person which is why it can often be difficult to identify one when not in their wolf form however there are a few telltale traits of theirs. Those affected with lycanthropy generally demonstrate abnormal or out-of-character behaviour around the time of the full moon. They may become ill-tempered or sick a few days before and after their transformation. Due to the stress their body is put under when transforming they may become bedridden with what would appear to most as a mere cold but unlike the common cold these symptoms can not be eased by normal medicine however Essence of Dittany had been proven to work to some degree. Sometimes, while living as a human they could possibly bear jagged scars all over their face and body if their wolf form has nothing to attack other than themselves. Another identifiable trait is in my own personal opinion, the worst, premature ageing. Although it is a dreadful and painful reality lycanthropes live, it is important to be able to identify them in one's day-to-day life so as to remain cautious in their presence._

Bernadette stopped reading and looked up from the book with a maniacal grin, ignoring the passage about what would happen if two werewolves mated while in their wolf forms. What brilliant luck did she possess so that the first book she picked up would present her with all the information she possibly could have needed?

Next she picked up the chart of the moon cycle and spent a few minutes of dazed confusion before she came to the conclusion that it was a full moon that very night. Bingo.

She felt a bit stupid for not having picked up on all the signs earlier but she supposed she wasn't particularly close to the boy. The real question was however, why the rest of his friends also disappeared with him? Were they all werewolves? Did they have like a secret lycanthrope cult? Or like a book club or something? No, not possible, Remus was the only one who clearly demonstrated everything mentioned in the book.

While she pondered her thoughts, she failed to notice one Severus Snape coming up to sit beside her which was incredibly unlike him. The only person not in Slytherin he really associated himself with was Lily. Still, Bernadette was the nicest out of their other friends to him, nodding at him politely in the hallways and occasionally making painfully awkward small-talk where say Marlene or Mary would flat-out ignore him while Connie would try her best to engage as little as possible with the off-putting boy. In all fairness, he did rather closely resemble a ghoul or a vampire and his greasy hair reminded Bernadette somewhat of a filthy mop.

"Are you dying or something?" His voice made her let out shrill squeak and throw her book at him, believing that it was an assassin who'd come to kill her for her recently-acquired knowledge on Remus Lupin's identification.

When she realised it had been Lily's friend she'd hit, she covered her mouth and apologised profusely. "I'm so sorry, Severus, I thought you had come to kill me or something. But why would you think I was dying, do I really look that bad? Connie is such a liar, she said that I look the same as I always do but I forgot to put mascara on this morning and   
I thought that I looked basically naked without it."

He rolled his eyes and peered at her through a few stringy strands of his dark, greasy hair. "I've never seen you come in here willingly especially when you could always be eating pudding in the Great Hall..."

He picked up the book she'd thrown at him which now lay in his lap. "' _A Brief History of Lycanthropy'_? Why on earth are you reading this."

She couldn't help but take note of the edge that took over his voice, wondering why he was so curious with her reading material. "Well, you know about my passion for magical beasts and all but all our textbooks are really vague when it comes to werewolves so I wanted to do some of my own research. I just think that they're really fascinating creatures and would love to meet one."

In all fairness, Bernadette was telling a partial truth so he couldn't claim that she was lying, she'd just left out a few crucial details like the fact that she was eighty-two percent sure that Remus Lupin had lycanthropy.

"Maybe you already have."

Before she could ask him what that was supposed to mean as she took the book out of his hands, she noticed that his focus was not on her but on something behind her. Swivelling around, she peered out of the window which showed some of the grounds, including the Whomping Willow, Hagrid's Hut and a bit of the Black Lake. The only strange thing she saw was a stag, a giant black dog and a small spec which was probably a rodent or something, crossing over towards the violent tree.

It was rather dark out as the days were growing shorter as of late so she could just barely see what it was these three animals were doing.

Bernadette stood up out of her seat, unconsciously blocking Snape's view, out of worry. She thought that the animals might be hurt if they got too close to the tree but to her amazement, the small spec easily dodged the branches and pressed on a knot in the exposed roots and the Whomping Willow stilled.

"What the fuck?" She said a bit too loudly than was for a library as the animals slipped into what must have been a small passage which connected the tree to perhaps some underground cave.

Madam Pince was around the corner in a flash, lips pursed and gaze deadly. "Out." She pointed towards the door as Bernadette was forced to gather up her belongings and bid a farewell to the Slytherin boy who appeared more annoyed than usual, as to why, she had no clue but then again, he seemed perpetually annoyed, his face stuck in a sneer whenever Lily wasn't around.

After making a brief pit-stop in the kitchens to grab herself a flask of tea and a plate of biscuits to last her a night of investigation, she fled towards her dorm. Tapping out the rhythm to 'Helga Hufflepuff' on the barrel two up from the bottom and in the middle of the row, she slid into the common room and sprinted up the stairs to the girls' dormitory.

She threw the flask and biscuits down on her bed where they lay on the patchwork quilt and grabbed her potted dittany plant which had been kept on her nightstand and carefully placed it next to her plate of food before drawing the curtains around her bed and hiding herself away from the rest of the world.

Bernadette thought over the happenings of that evening, feeling like there was a swarm of doxies inside her stomach, while tending to her dittany plant. It had been her pride and joy that plant, received from Connie for her birthday last year. It was rather rare and expensive and as such Bernadette had named it Herby and adopted it as her beloved child. Her roommates thought she was mad, talking to the plant like it was a human and often stroking its leaves but it helped her to think.

Why would a group of three animals who were so different in nature be seen together, sneaking into a passage within a tree and how could that be related to Remus Lupin's lycanthropy? Were these two ideas even related at all or was it just a stretch? Her head felt like it was filled with fog and prevented her from figuring out what should have been so clear and obvious to the well-organised mind. But her mind was not organised, it was more like a bomb site if anything or perhaps the bottom of Christopher's school trunk which was littered with beetles' eyes and broken glass.

When Bernadette's curtains were drawn, her roommates knew well not to disturb her and went about their business as usual. She heard them talking about the Potions essay Slughorn had set them earlier that was due next week and the running of water when Jasmine took a shower but she stayed silent throughout, lighting and extinguishing the tip of her wand repeatedly in an effort to simply  _think_ because seemingly, nothing in the world made any sense anymore.

Her roommates voices eventually died out as they went to bed and she was left alone in the darkness, sipping her tea and stuffing her face with biscuits, not really caring about the mess the crumbs would leave behind. It made no sense, maybe Remus and the three animals weren't related at all and she was just having an extra weird day and had listened to too many of Mary's parents' conspiracy theories about the government being lizards and that they were poisoning the water to lower everyone's IQ and turn them all into mindless slaves. No, it had to be connected, her head told her to use it for once but her gut was telling her to stay awake until sunrise and then head down to the Hospital Wing to see if Remus was there. She (rather idiotically) chose her gut.

"Well Herby," she whispered to her dittany plant, gently kissing one of the leaves. "Mummy has finally made up her mind...shit. Did I do my Charms homework?"

In a sudden panic and realisation that she would definitely not be getting any sleep that night, she leapt out of bed and rifled though her trunk to retrieve some parchment and a quill to get a head start on her essay about the origins of duelling.

Every so often, her mind would begun to drift back to the werewolf and would scribble down possible theories on how he was related to the animals in the side margins, hoping Professor Flitwick wouldn't mind terribly. Generally he seemed to like it when she doodled on her homework, especially enjoying the ones that showed her as a stick-figure throwing dung bombs at Lord Voldemort.

Roughly halfway through her essay, an ear-piercing howl filtered through the open window. Excited, Bernadette rushed towards it and peered out, struggling to see through the darkness. She could see just towards the edge of the Forbidden Forest and could see three large, shadowy outlines walking by it. A maniacal grin spread across her lips. This was so cool, she'd never seen a werewolf in real life. Although it was nothing more than a figure against an inky canvas, she was completely entranced.

A sudden bark from one of the figures jolted her out of her dream-like state. "Charms homework, Etta, you absolute numpty!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something about this chapter that just...I don't know. I suppose I'm just worried people won't understand that Bernadette is a lot smarter than she's given credit for and when she actually bothers to put in the effort can be and incredible detective and will just think she's suddenly fucking Hermione Granger. But yeah I'm going on holidays soon to Portugal for three weeks and I'm super excited cos I got loads of new clothes and my friend is staying with us for one of the weeks.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	9. Chapter Eight: Aligning of the Stars

**-November 1975-**

Bernadette sighed happily as she briskly walked onto the Quidditch pitch with the Hufflepuff team. Her broom was clutched tightly in one hand and her club in the other. She always played the position of Beater, she didn't have to worry about scoring points or anything and got to take out all her pent-up anger on the Bludgers.

"If we loose," Jane spoke quietly under her breath to the rest of the team. "That's okay, we tried our best but I will personally scalp every single one of you."

"Oh stop it," Bernadette tried to suppress a smile as their second year keeper went deathly pale. "You're scaring the poor baby."

Jane shook hands with the Ravenclaw captain as they met in the middle of the field, warm smile on her face but her eyes screamed murder. Usually Jane was rather reserved, quiet and a considerate, warm-hearted girl but once she was on her broom, she turned into a smaller, angrier Bruce Lee.

As the player mounted their brooms, Bernadette waved up at the stand where her friends stood, decked out in yellow clothing, cheering loudly. Madam Hooch's whistle came sharply through the air and the game was immediately in full swing.

The harsh, biting November wind pulled at her hair and robes, whipping them around her as she whizzed around to the other end of the pitch where she spotted a Bludger heading straight for Jane who currently had the Quaffle clutched tightly in her arms like a child. With a huge swing, Bernadette smacked the heavy ball in the other direction where it very almost took the Ravenclaw Chaser who had been on Jane's trail off his broom.

"Brilliant Bludger there from Bernadette Sommers!" The commentator, Flora, couldn't help but let some disappointment creep into her voice, being a Ravenclaw herself. "Damn, this girl's got one hell of an arm. I'd really hate to get on her bad side. What Professor? Oh yes, Smithers scores, 10-0 to Hufflepuff."

The girl sighed very audibly into her microphone. "Boo! Sorry Professor. Anyways, Ravenclaw with the Quaffle."

The game went on without any sign of the Golden Snitch. Hufflepuff were leading with sixty points thanks to Jane's ferocity and refusal to give up even in the face of the Ravenclaw captain who was at least twice her size and continued to make ugly faces at her like an overgrown child. Neither of the Seekers had done anything the whole game and Bernadette was starting to get annoyed when thirty minutes turned into an hour and her arm was beginning to get sore.

"For Christ's sake, Vanity!" The fifth year Beater shouted to their Seeker over the noise of the wind rushing past their ears. "Just find the bloody ball! How hard can it possibly-"

She was cut off as the seventh year suddenly flew towards her at top speed, right hand outstretched. Bernadette dove out of the way just as Vanity was about to collide with her and was ready to start giving out when Madam Hooch's whistle blew sharply again, signifying the end of the match. The brunette looked to their Seeker in confusion only to spot the fluttering of thin, golden wings sticking out through his fist.

The Hufflepuffs celebrated their victory later that night in the common room with lots of smuggled in Firewhisky and various treats they'd gotten from the kitchens. For their team, winning wasn't a very common thing. That didn't necessarily mean that they weren't talented but often times they lost to the other houses who were more willing to play dirty. So when they did win, they went all out, staying up all night and older students playing lots of muggle party games.

By two in the morning, most of the younger years had headed up to bed along with a few select seventh years who wanted to sleep so they could study in the mornings and those left behind decided that it was time to break out more alcohol. They no longer had to fear of setting a bad example to the first years or disappointing the prefects so they drank a lot.

Bernadette was lucky in the sense that it took a lot to get her drunk, Connie unfortunately was not the same case and passed out after three shots on the couch, snoring loudly. Jane and Jasmine lasted a bit longer but ending up staggering off to the dorms singing very loudly and off-key.

Bernadette was slightly tipsy roughly a half hour later and had planned to stop with the firewhisky so she could carry Connie to her bed but a sixth year boy had foolishly challenged her to a drinking competition. Looking back, she wished she had turned him down as agreeing was the last thing she could remember before waking up on the floor, clutching a potted plant to her chest.

Her hangover was incredibly bad, it made her head pound as though there was a troll trapped inside, trying to get out by breaking her skull open and it felt as though she hadn't drank water in fifty years.

"I want to die." She relayed to Marlene that morning, head buried in her arms while the Gryffindor girl rubbed circles on her back.

Lily shook her head, looking up from her book. "Jesus, Etta. How much did you drink last night?" 

Bernadette couldn't bring herself to move her head up and replied by simply groaning very loudly. In truth, she'd never had a hangover before, usually stopping herself after a few drinks and just feeling a bit drowsy in the morning. If she had guessed how horrible it was, she never would've agreed to the drinking contest but she assumed that she won which gave her some slight satisfaction.

"I would recommend you get something from Madam Pomfrey to help but you'll get in trouble for underage drinking. When Angela was caught with Firewhisky under her robes last year she almost got suspended!" Marlene picked up a piece of toast and smeared jam all over it before trying to feed it to Bernadette.

"I'm such an idiot!" She made the mistake of trying to hit her head off the table and screeched in pain as it only helped in worsening her headache.

"What happened?" She heard the familiar voice of James Potter pop up as someone seated themselves beside her.

"Nothing." Lily's tone turned sour as she glared at two of the four pranksters. "Bugger off, Potter, Black. Don't you have anyone else to bother?"

"Not really." She heard Sirius' voice across from her.

Bernadette forced herself to sit up, revealing her bloodshot eyes, puffy face and the giant red welt on her forehead from hitting it off the table. "Connie passed out and didn't stop me from being an idiot so really it's all her fault."

All four boys grimaced at her appearance and James awkwardly patted her on the head as though it was supposed to magically cure her.

"I'm never drinking alcohol again!" She snatched the toast which Marlene still held and shoved it into her mouth as the fat, salty tears began to roll down her cheeks.

Bernadette refused to move from her seat unless someone carried her to her common room. The Great Hall was getting noisier every minute and she was sure that her head would explode but she really did not want to walk. She dealt with the noise by complaining and eventually, her friends got so annoyed that Lily stood up and stalked over to the Slytherin table. She returned not a few minutes later, taking a small vial out of her sleeve and thrusting it in front of the annoying Hufflepuff.

"You're the best, I love you, you will be the godmother of my children, I now worship you as a goddess!" Bernadette downed the contents at once, silently blessing Lily's friendship with a budding potioneer. The effects were instant, her headache lifted and she looked a lot better. Her injury from slamming her head off the table was still unfortunately present, however.

"You're a complete idiot but I love you too." Lily sipped her tea, delighted at the lack of whining. "And I'm taking you up on the whole 'godmother' thing. I'll spoil them rotten."

Marlene pouted slightly, shoving Bernadette. "If she's godmother then you're naming one after me."

Mary joined the group, plonking herself down next to Peter. "Don't forget me. I wanna have a kid named after me too."

An expression of disgust morphed onto Bernadette's face. "There is no chance in hell that I'm naming my children Mary and Marlene. If I have a girl then I'm going with Thor and if I have a boy I'm still gonna have to go with Thor."

Sirius choked on his tea across from her and Peter looked incredibly confused. "Who the bloody hell is Thor?"

The young Hufflepuff swooned, clasping at her chest. "Only the coolest, most badass, most devilishly handsome, Norse God slash superhero to ever exist. Quite frankly, Pettigrew, I'm disappointed at how much of an uncultured swine you are."

His face paled as he leaned away from her.

"Oh no I was joking...mostly. You're more of a  _rat_ , wouldn't you agree boys?" Lily, Marlene and Mary looked incredibly discombobulated as the three other boys laughed with Bernadette.

James managed to recollect himself to make another stupid joke. "Oh  _deer_  me, I'm afraid I have to agree with Sommers."

"Might wanna watch your mouth from now on, Peter." Bernadette faked sincereness. "You'll have to be  _as quiet as a mouse_ if you don't want to sound like a total idiot."

The four boys and girl exploded into a fit of giggles while Lily, Marlene and Mary looked disturbed and slightly afraid. They didn't understand what the hell the five were talking about or what they found so funny. Lily was starting to wonder if she should go wake up Connie to get Bernadette in check.

"Stop, all these puns are getting a bit  _bucked_  up." Sirius laughed.

"You're  _barking_ mad, Sirius." Remus couldn't help but join in, abandoning his book in favour of really terrible puns.

"At least he's not always  _fawning_  over Lily all the time, like James." Peter's comment caused the female prefect to turn as scarlet as her hair and adamantly stalk off, Mary hot on her heels as the rest of them laughed loudly.   
~

Since it was a Sunday and for once, she'd had all her homework finished, Bernadette decided to pay another visit to her favourite half-giant. She and Marlene had bid farewell to the boys who'd tried to rope them into an elaborate scheme to dye Filch's hair pink and started on their journey to Hagrid's hut.

The weather seemed to be getting progressively colder the closer they came to December and a certain brunette was certainly not happy about it. Breath rising in puffs of smoke, arms held tight around her body in a desperate yet futile attempt to conserve heat she chose not to complain about her situation and instead just scowled at the sky.

"Jesus it's bloody freezing out there. The only good thing about it all is that I can pretend to be a dragon." She'd practically thrown herself into Hagrid's home, dashing straight for the crackling fire. Her nose and cheeks had turned red and her fingers numb so her first priority was to warm up rather than exchange niceties.

"Well, good mornin' ter yeh too, Bernie." Hagrid patted a huge hand the size of a dinner plate down on her head, knocking off her hat in the process.

Marlene had already shed her cloak and scarf and was now seated at the table, trying to find the best way to eat the rock cake she'd been handed. "Any news, Hagrid?"

The man sat down on his bed so hard that it gave a dangerous creaking noise under his weight and wiped furiously at his eyes. "Billy's gone!"

"What?" Bernadette was suddenly focused, scrambling to her feet. "He's okay, isn't he? He's not injured, Hagrid?"

The half-giant shook his head. "No, bu' I'll ne'er get ter see 'im again. Dumbledore took 'im off ter a sanctr'y in Kenya. He'll be missin' his mummy!"

She sighed slightly in relief. She assumed that Hagrid was referring to himself as the young Graphorn's mother but thought that Billy was better off in Kenya. It wasn't that long ago that Graphorns were close to extinction. In fact, it was only in 1926 that there was only one breeding pair left but over the next fifty years their numbers had greatly increased but they were still a protected species by M.O.M. regulation and were better off in the hands of professionals rather than a half-giant with a love for dangerous creatures.

"Don't worry, Hagrid." She rushed over, ignoring Marlene's confusion, and tried to console her weeping friend. "He'll be better off with his own kind. Anyways, you wouldn't be able to keep him here, Graphorn's grow really quickly."

Hagrid sniffled loudly and Marlene handed him his giant handkerchief. "Yeh're right, Bernie. I just miss 'im, is all."

"I'm sure they'll let you write to him."

Hagrid seemed a bit more comforted by Marlene's reassurance even though it was doubtful that Graphorn's could read, let alone Hagrid's chicken scrawl and poor grammar. The pair of girls stayed with the Groundskeeper for another hour before leaving to head back up to the castle to carry out their "secret plan".

After sprinting back up to the castle, the two brunettes snuck through the hallways, a suspicious item stuffed under Bernadette's yellow jumper. The journey to the Gryffindor common room was not a particularly long or strenuous one but it was dragged out due to the amount of times they'd ducked behind tapestries or statues to hide from teachers strolling the corridors.

The Fat Lady, the portrait outside Gryffindor Tower had protested when Bernadette had turned up, unwilling to let someone from another house in but with some sweet words and ass-kissing fro the Hufflepuff, they were granted entrance. The pair had then run up the stairs to the girls' dormitories so fast that Remus and Peter who had been lounging in the common room, didn't even have a chance to say 'hi'.

They eventually reached their desired destination and shed their coats, scarves and gloves before Bernadette pulled the mysterious item out from under her clothes.

"Are you sure about this, Marly?" She pointed to the box of blonde muggle hair dye, stolen from the Muggle Studies classroom. "What if this goes terribly wrong and you end up bald or something?"

Marlene snatched the box out of her friend's hands. "I'm sure, I want to reinvent myself to show...what's his name again?"

"Carlo I think."

"To show Carlo that I don't need his validation to feel good about myself." She nodded decidedly before rushing over to the toilet and extracting a bag filled with brushes and hair products.

Bernadette had previous experience dying her grandmother's hair when she was younger and had therefore been tasked with the job of turning Marlene into a blonde. They had neglected from telling their other friends, knowing well that they'd just insist that Marlene would regret this and that if she wanted revenge she could just put bugs in his bed or something. Bernadette had instead encouraged her friend's choice, excited for a bit of a distraction from the rise in murders of Muggles and Muggle-Borns.

Unfortunately, Marlene's hair was long and was taking forever to coat in the gloopy dye. It would have been much faster with a wizard product but Filch had recently gone on a confiscation spree and spells were only temporary.

"How much longer will this take?" The girl whined from where she sat on the floor, gazing at a copy of  _Witch Weekly_  with boredom. "I'm starving!"

"It's not my fault your hair's so bloody thick." Bernadette replied from her place, perched precariously on the sink.

The pair had their attention diverted to the door as it swung over and the one who'd opened it groaned loudly. Lily Evans had had almost five years of experience, dealing with the couple and was well accustomed to talking them out of reckless stunts or spontaneous decisions. Yet, in that moment, weary from prefect duties and turning down James Potter for the third time that day, she could simply shake her head and close the door once more.

"That's strange, I was expecting more of a response." Marlene said, furrowing her brow.

"I think we've broken her, Marls."

After a bit longer they washed Marlene's hair and promptly drying it with the Hot-Air Charm. The girl looked at herself in the mirror, running her fingers through her new pale locks.

"You're magical, Etta." She flipped her hair back dramatically. "It looks amazing! I don't know why I didn't think to do this sooner. Let's go show it off."

The pair ran downstairs to the Gryffindor common room and Marlene walked in a complete circle, tossing her hair over her shoulders, messing it up, but nobody seemed to be paying much attention to her. Loudly, she cleared her throat but still no response. She glanced at Bernadette for help.

"Sirius!" She walked over to the couch where he was lounging, watching Remus do his Charms essay. "Hey! Have you noticed anything different about Marlene."

He looked at her in confusion before casting his gaze to the blonde and then back to Bernadette. "She dyed her hair?"

"No shit!" Marlene stomped her foot on the ground like a child. "Don't I look amazing? I was kinda expecting to get drowned in compliments and declarations of love."

The young Hufflepuff bit back a smile before throwing herself onto her knees at Marlene's feet and clasping desperately at the bottom of her pyjama pants. "Oh my dearest love Marlene McKinnon! How positively ravishing you look! You are truly fair and fairer than that word, of wondrous virtues. Sometimes from your eyes I did receive speechless messages!"

"My sweet Bernadette!" Marlene played along. "Oh how you flatter me but alas! There is another who holds my affections. To her, I owe the most in money and in love! Be assured my fragrant Lily, my purse, my person, my extremely means, lie all unlocked to your occasions!"

The redhead who was seated in an armchair by the fire looked up from her book. "Why are you two loosely quoting Shakespeare? I didn't even know you could read."

"Shove off Lily!" Marlene dropped the act, draping herself over Lily's lap. "We were making a statement."   
~~

Connie fell ill that week, as did Lily and Marlene due to a spontaneous outbreak of horrendous period cramps. Bernadette who knew full well how horrible it was and how embarrassing it was to go to Madam Pomfrey to ask for medicine let them hole themselves up in the dorms and was forced to attend the week's classes alone.

She had plenty of other friends but none of the kind that would let her copy off of when her mind drifted off and she was beginning to hope she too would fall victim to Auntie Flo. It seemed as though her new friends (the Marauders as they now seemed to be referring to themselves) noticed her glum expression during breakfast Tuesday morning and took it upon themselves to cheer her up.

Sirius was the first to seat himself at the Hufflepuff table, squeezing between Bernadette and a startled Jasmine. "Why the long face? Are you that sick of us already?"

Her expression turned even more sour, a rare look on the usually bright girl. "No, all my friends have abandoned me and I forgot to do my homework and nobody will let me copy off them so I'm definitely getting a detention and when my mum finds out about that I'm gonna get another Howler!"

"Just skip then." James nabbed a piece of toast off her plate which was stacked high with food in an effort to ease her inner pain.

"No." Remus immediately objected, seating himself opposite her. "None of you are skipping class."

"Well that just makes me want to do it more my dear Remus." She felt her spirits lightening. "You don't have to come if you don't want to, just tell the professors we all got a vomiting bug."

"I'm in!" Peter declared hastily to remind the others that he was also present.

"You lot are going to be the death of me." Remus shook his head but was still in attendance as the five snuck down to the Black Lake, leaves crunching under their feet.

They played Exploding Snap and Wizards Chess during double Charms and challenged each other to handstand contests during double Transfiguration. Bernadette was successfully distracted from the fact that three of her best friends were writhing in pain and another sleeping through study period and felt as though she'd been friends with the four boys for years.

Peter surprised her, he'd always seemed like a tag-along, leeching off James' and Sirius' charisma and popularity but he was a rather fun person to be around. He understood most of her references since he grew up in a Muggle village and attended primary school and seemed to produce food out of his bag like magic. He may not have been as attractive or interesting or smart as his friends but she decided that she quite liked him.

The group attended lunch together, all sitting at the Gryffindor table and getting dangerously close to starting a food fight over a debate between James and Sirius about which had better hair. Professor McGonagall, who was affectionately referred to as 'Minnie', hadn't even bothered to try and stop them and literally walked straight out of the Great Hall.

After lunch was Care of Magical Creatures which Bernadette was adamant on attending since Kettleburn rarely assigned homework and when he did, forgot about it and never collected it. She supposed it helped that she was a clear favourite in the class and never got in trouble.

Study period was spent in the library, Bernadette and Sirius communicating through not-so-subtly passed notes while Mary (sometimes their study sessions were mixed with the fourth years) frowned on and tried her hardest to translate some runes.

Bernadette also insisted on attending Herbology as Professor Sprout doted on her like an irresponsible daughter and overlooked the fact that the young Hufflepuff's essay had two lines written down and the rest was all random doodles and gave her an Acceptable on it.

After classes Bernadette smuggled dinner down to her own dorm and the Gryffindor fifth year girls' dorm where she was thanked by her still suffering friends and then disappeared off to the Owlery, a letter clutched tightly in one fist.

~~

_Dear Bernie,_   
_It looks as though my condition has gotten worse so I'm still here at St. Mungo's but I'm no longer contagious so Mum and Dad and Gran can come to visit. I'm not so lonely anymore but I still miss you even if you worry too much. Honestly, just because I can't do magic, doesn't mean you need to protect me all the time._

_Anyways, I think it's cool you dyed Marlene's hair. Judging by the picture of you two in your bedroom, I think she'll look good as a blonde. I finished the book Dad gave me and it was pretty sad so I cried and my neighbour with the Dragon Pox complained to the Healers about it so they moved him to another room. The food here is horrible as per usual but sometimes Gran sneaks in a few leftovers from home under my pillows. It was so funny seeing her in a magic place, I wish you could have seen her face when she saw a witch who'd sprouted tentacles out of her mouth walked past._

_I'm eager for Christmas as I'm dying to see you. William wrote and said he won't be coming. Mum cried a lot. Dad was pretty relieved though, he knows how much William hates him. I'm pretty happy he won't be there too, I won't have to keep my mouth shut and sit still all the time. But Mum is still worried that he's going to join You-Know-Who's army. Apparently they've started recruiting giants now. That's pretty scary._

_I wanted to make this letter longer but I have to write to Joey and Chris too so I'll leave it here. Honestly, having so many siblings to really troubling._  
 _With love,_  
 _Henry._  
 _~_ ~

_Dear Henry,_   
_You know well that I can't help but worry about you. In and out of hospital, target for hate crimes by prejudiced purist dickhead, non-magical son of a blood traitor and a muggle. Please tell me how I can not fear for you, perhaps your suggestions would be of great assistance._

_Besides my constant fear for your life, things have been really good for me. Not to sound cheesy but it's like all the stars are aligning for me and for once I don't feel like I'm suppressing huge amounts of anger, fear and guilt. Don't tell anyone I said that, if Marlene heard that she'd probably laugh. Sirius would say it was all because of him, James would say something romantic about Lily, Remus would turn into a fucking therapist and start asking all these deep personal questions, Peter wouldn't really do shit I suppose. Connie would be very concerned as would Lily and Mary would tell me that celery can cure everything because that's what her parents say. Weird bunch my friends._

_Honestly, I'm happy William isn't back for Christmas too, the last holiday he spent with us ended in the destruction of the dining table and a lot of broken bottles. Not exactly jumping to have him back again._

_Hope you start getting better soon._   
_Love,_   
_Your most wonderful and beautiful and talented sister._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler before everything goes to shit. Well a twenty page filler. Does that still count as a filler? And is it a bit messy? I don't know and don't particularly care tbh but I had to elongate it because I wanted to establish more of a bond between some of the characters before everything goes down. Also I'm in Portugal now and it's so fucking hot I feel like I'm dying.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	10. Chapter Nine: The Lies of Life

**-December 1975-**

Life appeared to carry on as per usual as November led swiftly into December. And with December came the snow. Bernadette hated the cold, it was the very bane of her existence, but snow was an exception. Snow was magical and transcended Bernadette's hatred for the harsh and biting cold.

The brunette sat in Charms class one Friday morning, tuning out Professor Flitwick as she doodled in the corner of her notes, occasionally glancing out of the large window where tiny specs of white came down in torrents so that it seemed as though the whole sky had become a clear white canvas. She was looking forward till break time, excited to down any kind of hot beverage to warm up her insides. Bernadette counted down the minutes, having given up on trying to listen in class ages ago.

To her surprise, the door opened to reveal Professor McGonagall whose face had turned ghostly pale, matching the colour of the snow outside. She had never seen the woman looking so grim before and she got a really bad feeling that something horrible was going to happen. She was unfortunately correct, something horrible was going to happen.

"Sorry to interrupt the lesson but could I borrow Ms Sommers?"

Bernadette suddenly sat up straight and exchanged a panicked glance with Connie. It was then that she noticed Christopher and Josephine standing in the corridor behind the professor, both looking rather confused.

"Yes," the half-goblin nodded. "You are excused, Sommers."

A sense of dread fell upon Bernadette and the winter chill seemed to seep into her soul. She hurriedly gathered up her stuff and shoved them into her bag before practically sprinting out of the room. Once she was out of the classroom and the small group had started walking through the castle, she turned to the Transfiguration teacher who doubled as the deputy Headmistress.

"Professor, where are we going?"

"The Headmaster's office." McGonagall avoided her curious gaze and quickened her pace. "Everything will be explained once we have some privacy."

Bernadette felt Josephine's smaller hand enclose tightly around her own but didn't say anything. It was of little comfort while her brain raced with questions and worries. Christopher's uncharacteristically somber expression didn't help nor did Josephine's watery and fearful eyes. She felt as though she were about to be sick and cry and scream all at once but she held her head high and didn't falter her step.

They came to a stop outside a large and rather ugly stone gargoyle which reminded her an awful lot of Severus Snape in the way it appeared to be perpetually annoyed by humanity's mere existence.

"Peppermint Twists." McGonagall spoke quickly and the gargoyle stood up and moved out of their way to let them pass through an ornate door.

Bernadette had never been in Dumbledore's office before and thought that if she ever were to pay a visit it would be for her expulsion. Once the door was opened, Bernadette's attention was not immediately caught by the various and interesting trinkets scattered around, the portraits of all the previous Headmasters and Headmistresses or her sorrowful parents who sat in front of a large mahogany desk.  No, her dark eyes immediately went to a huge bird with feathers the colour of a brilliant yet destructive fire and a golden tail.

"A phoenix." She whispered breathlessly, taking a few small steps forwards.

The swan-sized, scarlet bird peered down at her in what she could have sworn was pity. She had always longed to see one, they were fascinating creatures. They could live to an immense age by bursting into flames and emerging from the ashes as a chick, their tears had incredibly healing capabilities and their song was said to increase the courage of the pure of heart and to strike fear into the hearts of the impure.

"I had guessed you would take interest in Fawkes Ms Sommers." Dumbledore spoke in a strange voice which did not sound to be his own. His eyes too, held pity. "But we have far more pressing matters on our hands, I believe your parents can explain."

Her mother, Bertha, surged forwards and tried to hold all her children in her arms. Their father, Andrew, walked over on shaky legs. He was still dressed in his work clothes, a baggy pair of worn jeans and a dirtied red shirt concealed by a pair of coveralls. It was strange, he didn't like wearing his farmers gear unless he really was working so she assumed that there must have been something wrong if he hadn't even taken the time to change.

"What is it, Mum?" Josephine pulled herself away. "Tell us what's going on."

"Sit down." Their father spoke up for the first time, glancing around to the room in terror and looking very out of place among the magic folk.

The three children seated themselves, Josephine and Bernadette still holding onto their hands like it was their lifelines.

"It appears as though the cure for scrofungulus isn't working on Henry due to his lack of magical ability." Bernadette felt her heart in her throat and she briefly forgot how to breathe. "He is no longer contagious but the Healers have said that he's too far gone to stop his..."

Bertha stopped speaking abruptly and her children watched in horror as they watched their mother cry. Bertha Sommers had promised herself when she'd had her first son that she would never let her children see her cry, see her stumble, she would always be there for them and refuse to let them see how weak she felt.

"Death." Andrew finished, ducking his head down and hiding his face with his hat.

Bernadette dropped Josephine's hand and stood up. "No he's not, you're lying."

"Sit down, Bernie." Christopher whispered to her. "We've always known he wouldn't live long, it was just a matter of when."

"Shut up!" Bernadette screeched. She wouldn't listen to them. They were wrong. Henry was fine. He couldn't die, he was only twelve. She couldn't live longer than him, it wasn't fair. "You don't know what you're talking about, he's fine!"

"Please, Bernie." Her father tried to approach her but she backed away, shaking her head so furiously that her messy hair whipped off her cheeks.

"I know he's gonna be okay because I was the one there for him. I was the one who stayed up all night with him while he vomited up his own blood. I was the one who stayed calm when he had his seizures. I was the one who...who..."

Bernadette felt her knees grow weak and was suddenly painfully aware of the fact that she was bawling her eyes out. Her hands shook and she couldn't take it anymore. She felt so cold.

"Mum..." Bertha wrapped her arms around Bernadette and shushed her like she used to after she had nightmares as a kid. "I'm scared. Can we see him? Can I see him? Please Mum."

Bernadette felt like a scared seven year old girl again hiding underneath her bed with Henry and Josephine, terrified both of the thunderstorm outside and her angry eldest brother. William had always had a bad temper and when he went into one of his rages, Bernadette often found herself fearing for the rest of her family's lives. Sometimes it would take hours for Christopher to coax them out, reassuring them that William had passed out in the couch, drunk and couldn't hurt them.

She felt the exact same way as she did when she was eight, petrified that he would hurt her, while William screamed at her for trying to stop him killing a fairy which had come in from the woods by their house.

Once again she was her nine year old self, peering through a crack under the doorway while William hit their father over the head with a lamp, continuously calling him 'scum', sobs muffled under Christopher's hand so that they remained safe and hidden.

"Of course." Her mother whispered. "Of course, sweetie."   
~~

Bernadette had always hated St. Mungo's Hospital for Magical Maladies and Injuries. It was too clean, too white and smelled very strongly of muggle hand sanitiser. Healers rushed around in green robes with clipboards and a few stopped to greet the Sommers. As regular visitors, they knew their own way around and hastily made their way up to the second floor which was for treating magical bugs and diseases.

It was unusual for the curtains to be open but in that particular day they were, so she could see straight into all the rooms. She saw wizards with Dragon Pox, witches with missing limbs due to Vanishing Sickness, visitors and Healers in strange suits which protected them from the highly contagious diseases.

Eventually they reached Henry's room. He was the only occupant as there was no longer any danger of anyone else catching his disease but contact with another ill person would re-activate the fungus which was corrupting his lungs. He looked the worst Bernadette had ever seen him. 

Their grandmother sat in the chair next to him. Normally her and her son were not permitted inside the hospital but due to Henry's condition the muggles were allowed in so long as Bertha was with them. The elderly woman got up as she spotted them and drew the children into a comforting hug.

Henry shook his small head weakly upon spotting them. Clearly, he had lied in his letter. He most certainly was not better. He couldn't even speak or move anything other than his head and fingers.

Josephine immediately burst into tears at the sight of him, looking small and weak against the large wall and drowning in his stark white sheets.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Bernadette sat down in the chair next to his bed, unable to tear her eyes away from his small form, gasping for air. "Why would you lie to me in your letter?"

Henry met her eyes and she saw just how much pain he was in. He was dying. An interrogation was the last thing he needed.

"I love you, Little Soldier."

The rest of the family all sat down around Henry and Bernadette forced herself to plaster on a smile and try and make his last few weeks or even days, as bright as possible.  
~~

"And you should've seen the look on his face!" Bernadette recounted her tale of how she'd pranked Mulciber. "I swear, he used to walk around the school like he owned it but now he's a lot more humbled and I like to credit myself for that."

"Are you sure he's not just planning your murder?" Josephine read out from the piece of paper Henry had struggled to write a sentence on.

The Hufflepuff girl frowned. "Maybe he is, certainly can't do that out loud. My guess is that he'll first paralyse me with saxitoxin and suffocate me in my sleep. Then, he'd chop me up into little bits, put me in a blender then a potions vial and then dump me into someone's cauldron."

Christopher and Josephine looked at her in horror. As to why she'd talk about her death in front of their dying brother, they didn't know. Henry instead smiled and picked up his pen and shakily wrote out a few words.

 _No, he's a huge bigot, he would never use muggle stuff_.

"Oh yeah, right you are Little Soldier. He'd probably just be an idiot and hit me with the Killing Curse. He's also too stupid to come up with an elaborate plan so they could literally just check his wand and find him guilty."

As Christmas got closer and closer, Bernadette watched her brother wilting away in his bed, growing smaller and smaller every day. It was the worst and cruellest form of torture. To further increase her pain, she was still expected to attend school everyday then spending the evening and night at St. Mungo's. Most professors understood when she didn't hand up homework, vaguely aware of her situation. Professor Windwear was not one of them and so Bernadette sat by her brother's bedside on Christmas Eve, scribbling out bullshit about the position of Mars and Venus and how they correlated with misfortune in the dim light from the lamp next to his bedside.

"Bernie..." Her head shot up as she heard him croak out her name.

"Don't speak, Little Soldier, you'll hurt your throat." She reached over to stroke his hair, gazing at him softly and not wanting to look away in case he would fade away if she did.

"I...lo...love...you."

She spotted the tears gathering in his wide eyes which were full of fear and almost began to sob herself. Sometimes she viewed Henry as more of a son than a brother, taking on a motherly role when her own mother was being beaten senseless in the kitchen. She thought back to all the times she'd sang to him while trying to ignore the sounds of William downstairs, throwing a beer bottle at her father, of all the times she'd stayed awake all night in case he woke up in a coughing fit again, of all the times she'd hid him in the closet when William was feeling particularly spiteful. She didn't want to live longer than him, it wasn't fair.

"I love you too, baby." She swiped away her tears with a shaky hand, glancing towards her mother who had fallen asleep in the other chair, eyes puffy and cheeks red from crying.

That time, instead of trying to speak he wrote down on the paper again:  _I'm scared Bernie_.

"I know." She clasped one of his small hands in her bigger ones. "I know but I'm sure that when you...pass on, you'll spend the rest of eternity living out your best memories."

There was a flicker of a smile on his pale face but if quickly vanished as his lungs began to wheeze and he coughed like an old man rather than a twelve year old boy. It physically hurt her to see him like that.

In an effort to cheer him up she plastered on her smile. "Mum said to wait until tomorrow but I can't resist, is it okay if I give you your Christmas present now?"

He nodded weakly, trying to sit up a bit straighter in bed. Bernadette rummaged through her bag before picking out a large rectangular parcel, poorly wrapped in Star Wars wrapping paper. The young boy had found solace in the franchise as he was not permitted to go to school or leave the house often due to his health. The characters were his friends and the world was his heart.

She placed the package in his lap and waited patiently as his fingers scraped weakly against the paper until finally they had revealed a large, leather-bound book and a small cassette player.

"It might be a bit lame but I got you a scrapbook filled with pictures of us, the family and Hogwarts. I just thought that this way whenever you miss me you can just look at this photo of me crashing Chris' broom into the chicken coop. And the cassette player is so you can listen to the same songs as me even when we're not together." She knew well that he wouldn't be around long enough to miss her or play much music but admitting that was far too painful.

"Th...ank...you." He held both the items close to his chest before motioning to the nightstand beside him, instructing her to open the drawer.

She did as he asked and pulled out a thick package wrapped in brown paper and tied with string. "Is this the present you bought me with your own money and everything?"

He nodded eagerly and she carefully untied the string and opened the brown paper. Her fingers pulled out a heavy book with a beautiful cover depicting some of the most magnificent magical beasts to exist. The autobiography of Newton 'Newt' Artemis Fido Scamander, Bernadette's idol, lay there in her own two hands.

"How'd you get this?" She said in disbelief.

_Gave Mum the money to buy it in Diagon Alley. I've been saving up for ages now but I finally g_ _ot_ _it, hardback and all._

Her heart filled with both warmth and immense sorrow at the sentiment. Losing him would be the equivalent to losing a part of herself and she didn't think she could handle that.   
~~

**_-June 1967-_ **

_Four young children sat on a worn couch, scarfing down homemade fudge their grandmother had made them. They were all making use of their last few free hours of the summer before they would have to spend the rest of it tiptoeing around an irritable_ _sixteen_ _year old boy. All had long since come to realise that annoying William Rowle was not a wise decision. This was evident upon their first meeting with him upon which he had killed the then three year old Bernadette's pet hamster simply because it was_ _disturbing his sleep._

_The sound of wheels coming up the driveway caused each heart to sink and their grandmother quickly plucked up the two youngest and ran upstairs, Bernadette and Christopher in their wake. Their grandmother pressed a finger to her lips, leaving the four alone in the_ _two_ _eldest's shared room. They remained silent other than Josephine sniffling every so often due to her hay fever and the creak of the old floorboard as Christopher pressed his ear against the crack in the door._

_Bernadette didn't need to eavesdrop to know that the teenager was not in a good mood. He was yelling so loud that Henry had begun to weep and the books on the shelves rattled, threatening to topple off. They sat and waited for hours before the door was slowly opened to reveal their father, sporting a rather nasty cut above his brow._

_"I'm sure you lot are hungry, don't worry, William has gone out into town."_

_The children breathed_   _a collective sigh of relief and the thick layer of tension melted away. They raced each other downstairs and gathered around the dining table. Their mother set out the table with knives and forks with a single flick of her wand as she peeled the potatoes. Christopher and Bernadette had started chasing each other around the room while Josephine played with the hem of her shirt and Henry watched his older siblings in amusement._

_Their happiness did not last long. Halfway through dinner, conversation ceased as they heard the front door slam ad heavy footsteps on the wooden floor. William Rowle entered the kitchen, reeking of alcohol and smoke. He would have been considered a rather handsome young man, neat black hair, sharp features and icy blue eyes had it not been for the constant wounds he sported. He had garnered a bit of a reputation for fighting anyone who dared to disagree with him._

_"Mother." His voice came out slurred as he collapsed in the seat next to Bernadette who flinched slightly. He didn't even spare a glance towards his stepfather._

_"Where were you?" Her fork trembled in her right hand and the dark bags under her eyes looked more prominent under the lights. "Why must you always come home drunk and injured, William? And in front of your little brothers and sisters too! You're driving me mad."_

_Bernadette reached under the table to take hold of Henry's hand._

_"I know, Mother." He practically spit out his response. "I know well that I'm not wanted here, not good enough for you and your perfect new life."_

_"Bed." She instructed her younger children and without question they left once more to their respective bedrooms, their unfinished dinner left forgotten on the table. That night was one of the worst. At some point, Christopher had crawled in with Bernadette and listened to her stories. It didn't take long for Josephine and Henry to wander in too._

_"Why haven't they stopped yet?" Josephine whispered. "Usually they stop by now."_

_Bernadette pulled her younger sister closer to her chest. "Don't you worry about that Joey. Anyways, have you lot heard about Quintapeds?"_

_Despite the other three having heard the tale a million times before, they listened, trying their best to tune out the screaming downstairs. Silence didn't come until daybreak. The sun drenched her bedroom in warm tones of yellow and orange and the yelling was replaced by the twittering of birds outside. Once sure that she'd heard her parents trudge back up to their room and that her siblings were fast asleep, Bernadette crept out of her bed._

_"William?" Her voice was small and scared as it always was in his presence._

_The boy had his head in his hands, hair now laying haphazardly across his forehead. He glanced up towards his half-sister and his expression relaxed slightly. "Hey Bernie, come over here."_

_She approached him slowly, as though terrified that he'd suddenly leap at her and try to claw at her but when she was within touching distance she held out her palms as she always did. A small daisy head lay in her left hand and slowly began to grow and spread so that daisies_ _soon_ _reached from her fingertips to her elbows._

_It was routine that after rows, Bernadette would be the one to calm William down. She was positively terrified of him but in those few moments he was docile and peaceful, watching the stems snake around her fingers._

_"What would I do without you, Bernie?"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My friend and I went to a football store to go buy something for our friend who really likes this sort of stuff and they had these Ronaldo masks just sitting there and we were like why not? We got two, one for her brother and one for her friend. Turns out they're free. I went back yesterday with my mum and we got twelve more.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	11. Chapter Ten: The Promise of Death

**-December 25th 1975-**

Bernadette woke up in her own bed at home with a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. Pushing the sinking feeling to the back of her mind, she'd pulled on a t-shirt and some jeans and jogged downstairs, hoping not to hear the dreaded news.

"Merry Christmas." Her mother sat at the dining table, staring at the Christmas Tree in sorrow, a now cold cup of tea in her hands. Her face was pale and looked almost ghostlike against her bright red dressing gown. A plate of toast sat in front of her, untouched and abandoned.

"What time are we heading out to the hospital?"

"As soon as the others are up." The older woman sounded completely devoid of life and spirit and it was as though she'd immediately been turned back into a scared young girl who had run away from her forced marriage and family, henceforth painting a target on her back and becoming one of the most well-known blood-traitors.

Bernadette made her mother a new cup of tea, humming cheerfully despite the emptiness inside of her. Her role in the family always seemed to be the problem-solver, the one who kept spirits high and the atmosphere bright. She didn't always like it but after so many years it was now ingrained into her personality and she had to accept that she would always be that person. Most assumed that she didn't have many problems due to her carefreeness exhibited in school and her family knew that they couldn't solve her problems as they all had the same one. Because of this, Bernadette had never really talked to anyone about how  _scared_ she was other than Henry and soon, he would be gone.

She tried her best not to let her bad feeling get her down, shrugging on her ugliest Christmas jumper so she could stuff a box of gingerbread men her grandmother had baked underneath it and sneak it into St. Mungo's. She sang carols the whole morning and sent all the Christmas presents for her friends off with their poor family owl, Freddie who was far too old to be carrying all the weight. It didn't take them long to get everything in order and apparate to London, the unopened family presents all stuffed into one bag with an extendable charm on it.

Her father and grandmother who had yet to become used to the feeling of apparition, both appeared green as they entered the hospital and walked up the stairs to Henry's room, greeting passing Healers on the way.

He looked even worse than yesterday, small and as colourless as the blank wall behind him. Still, the ghost of a smile painted his dry and chapped lips as his family bustled through the door and sat down around him. Bernadette noticed the cassette player in his lap and smiled to herself.

"We bear gifts for the young prince!" Christopher declared, dumping the bag on the floor and extracting parcels of various sizes and leaving them on the foot of the bed. Josephine shushed him, reminding him that there were other people in the hospital but the older boy didn't pay her any notice.

Bernadette had received a pack of Stink Pellets from Zonko's and her favourite muggle chocolate from Christopher, makeup and a book of poems from Josephine that she'd written herself, a sweet hamper from her grandmother filled to the brim with fudge and cakes and biscuits and a broom care kit from her parents so needless to say, she was more than happy. Still, her bad feeling didn't go away, in fact it only got worse as time went on.

The family listened to ABBA on the radio as had become routine, Josephine's complaining about the ugly jumper each member of the family wore in the background. Usually they held Christmas in their home, a rather tall building painted white which blended in with the usual snowfall in the south west of Scotland. The holiday was always the kids' favourite since William always stayed at school, they got wonderful presents and their grandmother would bake enough food to feed an army. Christmas of 1975 was different considering it was spent in a hospital room but they treated it as they always did. This was of some comfort to Henry who had been worried he had spoiled Christmas for the others.

Every family had Christmas traditions and the Sommers were no exception. They always wore matching jumpers, no matter how embarrassing, went to Mass (and in Bernadette's case, tried not to doze off), went down to the Baker's in the village to buy Yule Bread and the children held a contest to see who could eat the most food. That year, many of their traditions were not carried out. For the first time in Bernadette's life, she missed Christmas Mass, Mr Andrewson the baker was surprised not to see the family ducking into his shop and Christmas dinner consisted of the small amount of food they'd managed to sneak in under their clothing.

It wasn't like Henry could eat all that much though, his lungs grew weaker by the day and the fungus had begun to take hold of his stomach. He watched his siblings in envy as Bernadette and Christopher timed themselves to see how long it took them to eat a plate of mince pies and Josephine silently nibbled on shortbread while she read a new sappy romance novel she'd gotten.

As the day progressed, one by one, each member of the family drifted off to sleep, full and happy and soon it was just Bernadette and Henry left. She kept him entertained by recounting her adventures in school. The young boy loved hearing about Hogwarts and it was his deepest and most desperate desire to attend the magical school but fate clearly did not favour him.

"So for some reason, I thought that the Forbidden Forest was named in such a way that it was just a bit of a joke and you know me, I can't possibly restrain my curiosity and rebellious nature so what did they expect me to do? Really? When Professor Sprout told me that I should not enter the forest I knew that I simply had to. How on earth was I supposed to know that there were Acromantula in there? Or that they didn't appreciate teenage girls wandering into their territory?"

Her whispers were rushed and rather angry, remembering the two months detention she'd received for being caught in the forest.

"But they were positively beautiful, Henry." Her voice took a one-eighty as she began to fantasise about the giant spiders. "You should've seen them, some had a legspan as much as fifteen feet! And they spoke to me! Called me an 'insolent little bug', it was so cool!"

He had heard her story of her first time venturing into the Forbidden Forest many times but always enjoyed her retelling of it. He remembered the letter sent home about it and the utter terror on his mother's face and her father's confusion at what exactly she'd done wrong.

"And then the next time I snuck into the forest I saw some centaurs and-" She stopped suddenly as Henry's chest began to heave violently.

"No." She said, sounding like a lost little girl. "No...don't you dare Henry, not now. No!"

Her grip on his hand tightened and her dark eyes grew wide. She couldn't lose him, it would be the equivalent to her dying herself. Desperately she screamed for a Healer as her family stirred in their seats. She clutched onto him as though if she let go he would disappear right in front of her eyes. She wasn't ready to say goodbye yet, she still had so many stories to tell him, so many songs to make him listen to. She wasn't ready to stop receiving his letters in the morning post or to look at his empty room.

The process was a lot slower and more painful than she'd imagined, he struggled desperately to breathe and there was nothing she could do to help him. This was the one problem she couldn't solve and yet it was the one most important to her.

In an instant his hand went slack in her own and his chest stilled, eyes staring blankly into her own, poisoned with fear, mouth agape in a silent scream.

In that moment of loss she felt the world collapse around her in tiny pieces. All light in her life became shadows and the pain came in waves of disbelief and sorrow. She wanted to think that he was joking but she knew that he was dead and was not coming back, no matter how hard she pleaded with him. Every breath felt hollow in her chest and she couldn't help but feel that she didn't deserve it when it should have been her brother in her place.

She didn't hear her mother's sobbing nor feel Christopher pulling her away from Henry's lifeless body, all she saw was him in the cold clutches of Death. She knew that he would not be kind, he snatched where he could, the good and the innocent, leaving the guilty to walk free. He didn't pretend to care. This knowledge did nothing to lessen her grief, it was like a dagger in her heart, being twisted painfully and wrenching at her soul.

Death himself gazed at the young girl as he did many others mourning the loss of a loved one. He could feel her hatred for him rolling off of her in waves although she could not see him but walked on to clasp the hand of a twelve year old boy, terrified and confused. Before he departed with the fragile soul of Henry Kenneth Sommers in his bony hands, he looked back to Bernadette. He would see her again, many times in fact before her own line had run short.

The first, in that moment, the 25th of December 23:52 as she sobbed uncontrollably and begging for herself to be taken in place of her brother.

The second on the 14th January 4:31 in the morning 1980 as she viciously fought off the remaining two Death Eaters, two corpses either side of her as the pale moonlight reflected off her tears and blood stuck her hair to her cheeks.

The third on the 31st October 22:04 1981 as the young witch stood in the ruins of a small house in Godric's Hollow which once belonged to two friends and her precious godson, unable to cry from her sheer astonishment.

The fourth and final time Death would meet Bernadette Darcy Sommers would be on the event of her own death on the 18th June 20:47 1996 as she sacrificed herself for a boy she loved and believed to be the Wizarding World's only salvation.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *is a proud Slytherin*  
> Also me: Hufflepuff is undeniably the best house in Hogwarts and I simply cannot fathom how people can possibly dislike them. I would sell my soul to be Hufflepuff if that wasn't already obvious by my profile theme and if you dare talk shit about my precious little badgers imma fuck you up mate. Also the colour yellow is fucking rad.
> 
> Anyways we're back early from holidays because my grandad fell ill and the day after we got back he died so I've been busy with the funeral and stuff so this chapter is a bit short.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	12. Chapter Eleven: A New Beginning

**-January 1976-**

When Bernadette returned to school she acted as though nothing had happened. She'd kept Henry's existence a secret for so long and it almost helped to pretend like he'd never even left her in the first place. She couldn't stand the pitying gazes from the few professors who knew and it didn't take long for smoking to become a daily habit. Sometimes Sirius was there and sometimes he wasn't but when he was the pair sat without speaking, the only noise being Bernadette's soft, mournful humming and the vicious January wind whipping at their hair and clothes.

When he wasn't there she cried and hugged Henry's favourite jumper to her chest. She felt pretty pathetic but currently, her visits to the Astronomy Tower were her only release. She thought back to the funeral, how every shovelful of soil that hit the wood felt like a punch to the stomach, how her mother's tears had stained her cheeks, as her father began to spend more and more time on the farm. She couldn't go to anyone, Christopher and Josephine were also mourning and she didn't want to unload her feelings on top of theirs and her friends didn't even know that Henry existed.

It certainly didn't help that William had started sending her letters. Every morning one came in the claws of a large owl and every morning she would take the envelope from the bird and immediately burn it to ashes without bothering to read it. She had read the first one, not knowing who it was from and all it did was worsen her mood even further and leave her irritable and snappy for the rest of the week.

_Dearest Bernadette,_   
_I am writing to you in the hopes that you will excuse the years of silence from me. I've been busy here in Australia but I'm planning on moving back to England in a month's time. Recently I've reconnected with a few old friends from school and they were the ones who convinced me to come back._

_I would appreciate it if you wouldn't tell your mother or her husband of our correspondence as I already know how badly they will react once they find out what I've been doing. I won't say too much here, just enough to strike your interest, but I've been studying Dark Magic and it has opened up so many possibilities for me._

_I propose that you meet me after the school year ends and come to live with me. I have spoke of your talents to some of my colleagues and they assure me that you will be welcomed with open arms into our elite group. I doubt you can operate as a full member until you are of age but until then I can teach you all you've been missing out on._

_The only reason I have not written to you earlier was because I feared that you hated me with the way we left things. However, I had received word from your mother of the passing of her son and thought I should reach out to you. It should have been expected really, he was always such a sickly little beast, he would have never lived too long. Even if he had, the Dark Lord would have quickly taken care of him._

She had stopped reading after that, no longer able to continue before she feared she would become so unbelievably angry that she may hurt someone. The last thing she wanted was to be like him. And the fact that he no longer even recognised Bertha as his mother, disgusted her.

So feeling a cyclone of rage and sorrow, she sat on the Astronomy Tower as she so often did those days, wanting nothing more than to just stay there for the rest of her days and never be bothered ever again. Those days, it felt as though they were the only feelings she was capable of experiencing. If this carried on much longer, she suspected she would go mad.

"Sorry I'm late, Moony wouldn't fall asleep for ages." She froze in her place before beginning to furiously wipe at the tears streaming from her dark eyes, mortified that he'd caught her in such a vulnerable position, she hadn't thought that he would be coming that night. "Are you okay, Nettle?"

Bernadette turned away from him as she felt him sit next to her. "I'm fine, just got something in my eye, wind is terribly strong tonight, can't wait for it to start warming up a bit."

He paused and scanned her face once she'd turned back around before a disappointed frown settled on his lips. "Don't lie to me, you're really bad at it."

Her shoulders sagged and no longer could she hide it. She'd been holding everything in for far too long and she officially gave no fucks anymore. She was sick of the secrets and the lying and needed to tell someone. She felt like a pair of jeans which were far too small for a person but the person insisted on stuffing their fat legs into her and she was about to rip at the seams. So she told him everything.

"My life is a...conundrum of fucked up events which I try desperately to ignore but have proven myself unsuccessful with every attempt. I mean, my fucking brother is dead and I can't tell anyone because my mum would get disowned from her crazy pureblooded, prejudiced asshole family and I've kept him a secret my whole bloody life so if I just bring it up people are understandably going to be confused as fuck."

His stunned silence did not deter her from continuing her crazed rant, delirious from a lack of sleep.

"I mean I know I probably shouldn't have pretended that he didn't exist but Squibs aren't exactly viewed as equals these days and deep down I couldn't help but feel ashamed. I loved Henry more than I loved myself but I couldn't help but see him as being weaker and less capable than me. Is that fucked up? Oh god, you're right, it's so unbelievably fucked up! Does that make me a horrible person?"

She turned her gaze to him, genuinely wanting to know what he thought but all she received in response was a confused eyebrow furrow and tilt of his head. Perhaps she'd thrown a bit too much information at him at once.

"Who's Henry?" He was clearly struggling to wrap his head around the story.

"Shit, you don't know, do you?" He shook his head, taking a long drag from his cigarette. "Sorry, I guess I'll start from the beginning then."

Fighting back tears which threatened to spill she began to explain everything. "I'll make a long story short and just say that my mum was born as Bertha Nott..."  
~~  
 _A young woman with long dark hair which fell over her shoulders and down her back_ _in tight ringlets_ _, sat rigidly in a tall chair, staring at the man her parents had chosen for her. Something about the way she held herself screamed that she was uncomfortable in her expensive robes, pinching heels and the presence of the man in front of her. He couldn't have been much older than her but the stern glare he constantly bore added ten years to his face._

_With shaking fingers, Bertha picked up a steaming teacup and lifted it to her lips, painted cherry red. This was her first meeting with Darius Rowle but they were to be wed in a week's time. Her parents had described him as a 'sensible, hard-working, good young man who would make a good husband' for the eldest Nott daughter but to her, all he seemed was cold and emotionally detached._

_She didn't want to admit it, but she was scared. Even if this was their first meeting, during her years at school, she'd heard many tales of his cruelty which still echoed through Hogwarts' halls years after he'd graduated. It didn't help that she'd seen him kick one of their House Elves on his way back from the toilet._

_Bertha had grown up swallowing every lie her parents fed to her about Muggles, Half-Breeds, Squibs and all those who were not pureblood but when she arrived at Hogwarts, she came to realise that not a word of it was true. Her parents weren't happy when she'd befriended a Muggleborn Hufflepuff or when they'd heard she'd tried to make contact with the Centaurs in the forest but for the most part they were comforted by the fact that she would marry a well-respected man from good lineage._

_"Good weather we're having." She'd finally mustered up the courage to speak but her voice came out squeaky and mousey. There was a good reason she was not a Gryffindor._

_"Obviously," he drawled, cocking an eyebrow at her, making her want to shrivel up and die right where she sat. "It's July. Usually the weather is fine in July."_

_Bertha had a nagging feeling in the pit of her stomach that her marriage would not be a happy one. Later she would find out that she was unfortunately correct in her assumption._  
~~

_Out of breath and exhausted, Bertha Rowle held her newborn son to her chest. She'd been trying to soothe him for hours but nothing seemed to be working. She'd tried feeding him, changing him, singing to him but his little lungs continued to scream._

_Darius wasn't happy, every night he was kept awake by their screaming child for hours and he was seriously considering using a Silencing Charm on the young boy but Bertha had insisted that she could calm him. She couldn't. She was so tired, all the time, from putting up with her cranky newborn and her cranky husband, there seemed no end to her suffering. She considered running away. It was a thought she often had, one which comforted her every time she had to bite her tongue, agree with some radical, preposterous opinion or drop all her old friends from school who didn't meet Darius' standards._

_But she couldn't leave William. If she did, she feared he would grow up to become like his father, cold and malicious and full of hatred for those not pure of blood. And so she suffered on for the only thing she truly loved anymore._   
_~~_

_It had been a reckless decision which had come to her in the spur of the moment but as soon as it was done, she regretted it. But she couldn't go back, Darius had probably found out already and would surely kill her as soon as he saw her._

_After a particularly nasty row, Bertha had stormed upstairs, shoved her most prized possessions into a small bag, said goodbye to her three year old and apparated to the first place she could think of. She had appeared in a small forest in the Southwest of Scotland by the village her old friend used to live in. The young girls used to play in it the few times Bertha's parents allowed her to spend time with her Muggleborn friend._

_She had walked for hours through the darkness, sobbing quietly to herself, shivering as the biting cold seemed into her blood like poison. In the distance she spotted a light and her first instinct was to run towards it. She was cold and tired and was hoping she'd stumbled upon a Bed and Breakfast who would accept Galleons and Sickles._

_Bertha sprinted through huge fields of cows, her heels sinking into the soggy ground before she'd taken them off and clasped them in her hand. Eventually she reached the bright red door of a farmhouse and rapped on it without a second thought. She was greeted by a man who looked to be around her own age, bleary-eyed and holding a mug of dark liquid. He took in her disheveled appearance and shook himself awake._

_"Can I stay the night?" She panted breathlessly. "I'll be gone in a few hours but I don't fancy sleeping in the forest."_

_"Um..." The man blinked slowly, trying to process her words. "Are you wearing a witches hat?"_

_Embarrassed, Bertha had swiped her pointed hat off her head. "No."_

_"And why are you holding a stick?" He gestured towards her wand which was poking out from behind her left ear._

_"I was at a fancy dress party."_

_"In February?"_

_"Yes." She spoke with such certainty, she almost convinced herself. "Now can I stay or not?"_

_He looked her up and down, from head-to-toe. "What's your name?"_

_She hesitated. What if he recognised her name and informed her husband of her whereabouts? She was pretty sure he was a muggle but that wasn't guaranteed. "You tell me first."_

_"Andrew Sommers." He answered plainly. She didn't recognise his surname as one of the sacred twenty-eight and felt a rush of relief fall over her._

_"Bertha Ro-Nott." She corrected herself, not wanting to keep her old identity. "Bertha Nott."_

_"Well okay, Bertha Nott, we have a spare bedroom upstairs, try not to frighten my mother, I don't think she'd take kindly to me inviting a strange woman into the house." He stepped aside so she could see into the well-lit hallway which was cluttered and small but felt like it was lived in, unlike her cold and bare manor._

_Bertha stepped in, wiping, her muddy feet on the mat and began to rummage in her bag. She didn't think he'd accept her wizard money as payment but hopefully she could sway him with a diamond necklace or something. He stopped her, placing a gentle hand on hers. "No need, up the stairs and to the left, I'll try and find you some clean clothes and you can take a shower if you want."_

_She looked up at him and suddenly felt as though she might cry. After four years of marriage to Darius Rowle, kindness became a sight for sore eyes. She whispered a few words of gratitude and dragged herself up the stairs, her guilt now pushed to the back of her mind._  
~~

_"Put that down Bernadette!" She snatched a hovering butter knife out of the air and sighed as her toddler began to wail._

_Her five year old decided that was a good moment to let his sister's hamster out of its cage and set the small rodent down on the floor where it scampered away. The young Bernadette's attention was then grabbed as a sleek black car rolled up into the driveway as she gleefully cried out: "Mummy there's a car!"_

_Bertha's face paled and she felt her heart drop down to her feet. She hadn't seen William in almost eight years and the whole him coming to live with her and her new husband and kids was rather last minute. Then again, nobody has expected Darius to suddenly go off and murder a family of muggles while they slept, leaving his almost-twelve year old alone._

_"Andrew!" She called up the stairs, panic flooding her voice. "He's here!"_

_Footsteps pounded against the old wooden stairs as Andrew Sommers made an appearance, a solemn-faced baby perched on one hip._

_"I thought I told you to put her down for her nap!" Bertha dragged her fingers through her hair in worry, plucking up Bernadette who had begun to make the knife float in the air again and whined when it was swatted out of the air._

_"She wouldn't sleep, kept slamming the window open and closed." Andrew rubbed at his eyes. "Magical children are so difficult."_

_"You're telling me." Bertha rolled her eyes, peering out of the kitchen window as she watched a steely-eyed boy drag a single trunk up their driveway, a bubbly Ministry official trailing behind him. "Oh god, he hates me."_

_Had both adults not had their arms full, Andrew would have taken her by the shoulders. "No he doesn't, he's probably just sad his dad got arrested."_

_The doorbell rang, sending Bertha into a wild panic as she rushed to the door. William Rowle stared at his mother with unfeeling eyes before turning his gaze to the still crying child in her arms and then her swollen stomach._

_She forced a bright smile across her lips. "Will, darling, I've missed you so much!"_

_"You're pregnant." He pointed out._

_"Oh...yes I am. Would you like to come in and meet your brother and sisters?"_

_He dragged his trunk into the hallway before shrugging. "Whatever."_

_They all entered the living room which was cluttered with toys and cardboard boxes which were often transformed into spaceships or time-machines by the children. Andrew's mother sat on one of the armchairs, watching the telly as Christopher tried to catch the hamster he'd set free and Andrew tried to amuse Josephine by waving a brightly coloured stuffed rabbit in her face._

_Bertha set Bernadette down who had stumbled over to Christopher, snatching her pet out of his hands as he'd triumphantly caught it from behind the couch and began to give out to him._

_"This is my husband, Andrew." The man in question stood up and held out his free hand to shake but it was simply stared at in distaste._

_"The muggle?" The way he said the word made Bertha want to cry. She had prayed he wouldn't succumb to the prejudiced ideals of his father but from that interaction, it was made evident that he had._

_"Yes...and this is my youngest, Josephine but we all call her Joey because the kids can't pronounce her full name yet. She's quiet so she won't keep you up all night crying and is well-behaved for the most part."_

_The one year old stared at the older boy in front of her before shaking her small head and burying it into her father's shirt._

_"Christopher is over there, he's four now and just got a toy broom for his birthday so be careful he doesn't run into you."_

_Bernadette was satisfied with telling her brother off and went to return her hamster to its cage._

_"This is Bernadette," Bertha grabbed her daughter by her collar as she tried to run past and into the kitchen. "She's a handful and very chatty but she'll stay quiet if I leave her to play with her pets."_

_"Hi! I'm Bernie," She waved at the new boy in front of her. "Mummy told me you were my brother but I already have a brother but I don't like him sometimes so if I like you more I think I might let you take his spot. You see, I wanted to know why the Easter Bunny wasn't in the Bible and if Jesus 'sported ob..ob...what's the word again?"_

_"Obesity."_

_"Obessytee 'cos he gives us all the chocolate eggs but Mummy said it'll make me fat but if he's the son of God why does he wanna make us fat then? Chris said he doesn't and that the Easter Bunny isn't in the Bible because he's a demon but then why would we celebrate Easter then?"_

_Bertha felt her face heat up in embarrassment, Bernadette had gotten to the age where she questioned everything and it had caused countless fights between her and her brother. Andrew had encouraged her curiosity which did nothing to help save Bertha from humiliation._

_To her surprise, the stoic boy had cracked a small smile. "I don't know, it must be a conspiracy."_

_"You sound funny, like Mummy and the Queen on the telly."_

_"Bernadette!"_  
~~

_"Are you sure?" Bertha felt her hands begin to tremble. "There's no chance he's just a late developer?"_

_The Healer shook her head. "I'm sorry Mrs Sommers but I'm almost certain that your som is a Squib, you said all your other children showed early signs of magic and his body isn't reacting to the medicine most wizards do."_

_Bertha shut her eyes in a vain attempt to calm herself down. Her family were still mad at her for running off and she knew well the only reason she hadn't been disowned was because it would only cause more of a stir among their peers. But if they found out she had a Squib for a son, there was no doubt in her mind they'd paint a big red target on her back._

_"Mummy?" Bernadette tugged on her mother's sleeve. "Why are you crying?"_

_"I'm just disappointed, Bernie-Bear, we should head home now, your Gran is making shortbread again."_  
~~

_Bernadette was awoken to the sound of violent coughing from the room next to the one she shared with Christopher. She had always been a curious child and slipped out of her bed, a stuffed dog in her hand. The six year old found the door to her siblings' bedroom cracked open and as she peered inside, she spotted her mother kneeling next to Henry's bed, her head resting on her arms as the young boy coughed into a handkerchief spotted with crimson._

_The brunette slipped through the crack and pulled herself up onto Henry's bed. She glanced over to her little sister who continued to sleep like a log in her bed. "What's wrong, Henry?"_

_"I feel sick."_

_"I know...do you want to hear about dragons again? I know they're your favourite but we have to be quiet or we'll wake William and he'll get angry again. We don't want to make him angry do we?"_

_He shook his head and both children pressed their fingers to their lips in mutual understanding that they didn't want what happened last time to happen again._  
~~

"William moved out once he graduated Hogwarts and went to Australia and things started looking up but Henry fell ill again this year. Scrofungulus. Normally it's treatable but something about his lack of magic meant that the medicines wouldn't work properly. So...he died. Christmas Day. That's why I was gone so much of December, I was visiting him in the hospital with my family."

Sirius nodded, fidgeting awkwardly with his packet of cigarettes. "So...let me get this straight. You have two brothers no one else knows about, one is a crazy pureblood maniac and the other was a Squib who died this December and you've somehow managed to hide them from everyone else for years?"

"Precisely." She looked away from him, anxiety making her stomach crawl. "So I am currently a complete mess and don't know what I'm supposed to do."

To Bernadette's surprise, he slowly wrapped his arm around her shoulders and lightly stroked her hair in a pretty pitiful attempt at comforting her. "Maybe you don't have to do anything, just...try and live your life I guess. I never knew Henry but if he loved you as much as you lived him, he'd want you to be happy."

"Sorry." She cast eyes downwards in sudden embarrassment. "I didn't mean to just unload on you like that or anything. You must think I'm an absolute nutter now."

"Never. I'm actually glad you told me, a burden shared is a burden halved. My life ain't all peaches and sunshine too you know? Out of the two of us I'm way more likely to be a nutter." A chill ran down his spine as his mind briefly flashed to his home life.

Sirius Orion Black had grown up in a house where emotions were not something that was discussed therefore whenever he was faced with a situation such as the one he was currently in, he wasn't sure how to handle it. But Bernadette was someone he supposed he considered to be a close friend and it hurt him to see her so torn up.

"Nice try, Padfoot." She laughed a bit although her cheeks were still glistening with tears in the moonlight. "Can I call you that by the way? Or is it more of just a guys thing?"

"You can call me anything you want, love."

"Piss off." The young girl shoved him lightly, feeling slightly better. "Anyways, I never asked how you liked your Christmas present?"

The atmosphere lightened significantly and the barrier between them suddenly lifted.

"Love it, I'm wearing it right now and everything." He gestured to the leather jacket she'd bought him. "What about you? Did you like the plant I got you?"

"I almost cried when I opened it, I've been wanting a Mimbulus mimbletonia for ages! It's so rare though, how'd you get your hands on it?" She lit a cigarette with the tip of her wand and swung her dangling legs back and forth.

"I know a guy." He shrugged it off as though it was nothing even though the plant was incredibly rare and expensive. They didn't even have one in the Hogwarts greenhouses.

"And I never got to thank Remus for the chocolates...or James for the Beater's gloves...or Peter for the scarf." She realised how horrible she'd been over the past few weeks and felt incredibly guilty. "I'm a horrible person! They must think I'm a cold-hearted bitch who didn't like their gifts."

Sirius laughed at her but she didn't think it much of a laughing matter. "I promise they don't think that you're a cold-hearted bitch, you're in Hufflepuff, babe."

"But I am! I've been so snappy and horrible." She pouted and took a long drag. "I deserve to be cast into the deepest pit of hell to rot there for the rest of eternity."

"You're not snappy or horrible, just very overdramatic and loud and likely to attract Filch to our secret place."

"Sorry." There was silence for all of ten seconds before she abruptly stood up. "I need to go apologise to them now, take me."

"What?"

"I sneak into Gryffindor Tower all the time to hang out with Lily and Marlene and sometimes Alice but she's usually with Frank in some random broom closet, it's no big deal, I just wanna make sure they know how regretful I am."

"Apologise in the morning, everyone's sleeping, Nettle." He tugged on her hand and brought her back down into a sitting position. "Cute socks by the way, stripes suit you."

"I know, I rock all patterns."

"And  _I'm_  the conceited one?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> PLEASE READ!!!  
> Anyways I was thinking and got the brilliant, amazing idea to create an Instagram account where I just give information about my works, answer questions, get better feedback from you guys so if you're interested please let me know idc if you're a ghost reader but I really need to know because I thought it was a good idea. If I'm stuck for certain parts I could put up polls on that account or if I'm having trouble deciding on what my next book should be I can see what one you guys like better. I think it's a good idea but I won't make it unless people want it.   
> Also Ariana Grande's new album has some fuckin bops (everytime is my fav).   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	13. Chapter Twelve: Normalcy

**-January 1976-**

The following morning she awoke early and threw herself on top of Connie's sleeping figure which was buried under a mountain of blankets and pillows. She wasted very little time in explaining everything to her best friend who was honestly too tired to properly register the story told to her until quite a few hours later. Connie deserved to be the first (well technically second) person to know, having been there for Bernadette through thick and thin and she was sure that Connie was the least likely person to be angry about her having two secret brothers. Connie was, for the most part, a pacifist and wasn't a fan of unnecessary conflict so she wasn't angry, just surprised that her oversharing best friend had managed to keep such a big secret for so long.

At lunch time, Bernadette had zoomed around the Great Hall and telling all her close friends one by one to meet her outside by the Black Lake in fifteen minutes. She waited by the tall beech tree, nervously picking at her nails and glancing at her watch every few seconds and biting her lower lip so hard that she drew blood. Sure, Connie had understood, but she didn't know if the others would and she really didn't want to make any of them upset.

"Would you stop that?" Sirius spoke up from beside her, although he already knew her tale he attended for moral support. "You look like a madwoman."

"I am a madwoman."

"Fair enough, you sure you're ready to tell them all?"

"Yes...no...maybe?" She said. "No, yes! Yes I am ready to reveal that I have been lying my whole life. Who am I kidding? I'm not ready. Can't you tell them for me?"

Sirius sighed and poked her hard in the stomach. "Too late, I can already see Lily and Marlene coming down."

"They're two minutes early!" She panicked. "I haven't rehearsed what to say to them yet!"

The boy grasped her by the shoulders and shook her roughly. "Jesus Christ! Calm down, you were begging to apologise and explain everything last night."

"Is everything okay?" Lily wrenched Bernadette out of Sirius' hold and glared at him. "What was it you wanted to tell us?"

Honestly the girl's two friends were rather scared, neither had ever seen her so put out, nervous or apprehensive before. She'd been acting slightly out of character since December but usually just dismissed their questions by claiming that she was tired or swamped with homework. When she'd asked them to meet her outside for a 'chat' they assumed she'd have some sort of big confession like she was pregnant or let another Blast-Ended Skrewt loose in the school and currently was not aware of its whereabouts. The explanation they received instead was quite tame in comparison.

Once everyone had arrived and was staring at her curiously she told them everything. Everything just came spilling out of her lips at a hundred miles an hour so nobody else could get a word in edgewise. It took a rather loud cough from Connie to shut Bernadette up from her nonsensical rambling about how apologetic she was.

"That's okay, Etta." Lily sympathised. "We're not angry with you, I understand why you hid it from us and I'm glad you trust us enough to tell us now."

Everyone else nodded in agreement and Bernadette felt a wave of relief fall over her body. Thank heavens Lily was so understanding. She collapsed to the grass and sighed, staring blankly at the cloudy sky. "That was really stressful, I think I might take a nap now. I love you guys."

"Class starts in five minutes, Etta." Marlene's face appeared above hers. "And we have to get all the way up to the fourth floor before Professor Windwear claims that we're dead, just as she predicted."

Whoops, she supposed she'd kinda forgotten that classes were a thing and that she was sitting her O.W.L. exams in a mere four months and she had yet to start studying.

Bernadette heaved a sigh and screamed a very loud "Fuck!" so that a flock of birds flew out of the tree in alarm from the sudden noise before she reluctantly trudged after Marlene and Peter, silently praying that their Divination Professor had accidentally been locked in the staff room.

Over the next few weeks the young girl couldn't help but appreciate the feeling of her life slowly turning back to normal. It was as though a huge burden which had been growing heavier by the second was sudden lifted off of her and she could breathe again. The only difference in her life was an absence of letters and her friends becoming noticeably more overprotective.

Most people had always viewed Bernadette Darcy Sommers as a confident, outgoing, carefree girl with a tendency to be dramatic and get herself into far more trouble than she was worth. This could not be more untrue and her friends could see this better now that she'd come clean. She put up a front to hide her weaknesses and shame and guilt. Many envied her for seemingly having no problems other than homework and detentions but she had more problems than she could handle and therefore ignored them until she had no choice but to deal with them.

Although having known Bernadette for many years, it was only now that they could see the girl behind the mask. A scared little girl hiding under her bed rather than the happy-go-lucky socialite they thought they knew. It was honestly kinda scary to see her in such a new light.

The changes were small but over time became rather obvious. Connie no longer complained about letting Bernadette copy homework off of her, Mary didn't lecture Bernadette on her eating habits at all, Marlene didn't annoy her with boy-talk, Lily let her get off with murder, Peter shared his Ice Mice with her (which was rare as they were his favourite), Remus sat through an hour of her questions on what it was like to be a lycanthrope, James didn't even yell at her when she spilled tea on his broom.

Sirius however, was not even bothering to hide it. He carried her books to classes they didn't even share, laughed at all her bad jokes, blew off a date with a charismatic seventh year Ravenclaw to help her feed cereal to the Giant Squid. She'd finally had enough when he'd purposefully landed detention so she wouldn't spend the night cleaning the trophy case alone.

"I've had it!" She threw down her rag to the floor and glared at him. "What is up with you? Why are you being so nice to me?"

"Maybe I'm just a nice person."

"Don't lie to me Sirius, I really don't appreciate it." She picked up the rag again and continued to wipe dust off a plaque addressed to one Tom Riddle. "If you're feeling sorry for me, don't."

He paused in his cleaning. "It's not that I feel sorry-"

"Then what is it?" Her tone was a lot harsher than she'd intended.

"I just...don't like seeing you so sad, that's all." The dark haired boy refused to look at her as she searched his face for any untruths.

"...Okay."

Silence ensued for the next ten minutes until Peeves burst through the doors, cackling to himself as he tossed a strange looking substance from a bucket onto the trophies. When the poltergeist was promptly told to piss off he launched into a song about dirty deeds the pair of students were apparently committing during their detention.

"Asshole." Bernadette breathed out after she'd finally managed to shove Peeves out of the room. 

"He is pretty funny though, you've gotta admit." Sirius chuckled a bit but looked upon the filthy trophies in despair.

Bernadette shrugged. "He's funny so long as you're not his target, we'll be here for ages now!"

"Is that really such a bad thing?" He flashed her a tired, lopsided smirk. "I'm like your favourite person, Nettle."

She couldn't help but smile, it was almost unfair how charismatic he was. "Dream on, Paddy, my favourite person is unquestionably Newt Scamander and you could never possibly live up to him."

"What are you on about?" The boy looked at her incredulously. "He's ancient, he's like as old as Dumbledore!"

"He's only seventy-eight!"

" _Only_ seventy-eight? You're mad, Nettle."

The pair acknowledged their silent pledge to not bother finish cleaning the trophies and just claim that Peeves destroyed them after they'd left and sat shoulder to shoulder against one of the walls, sipping pumpkin juice from a flask Sirius had nicked from the kitchens.

"Hogsmeade trip coming up." Sirius nudged her. "Wanna go spy on couples at Madam Puddifoot's with me and James and then go get Butterbeer?"

"Nah, I already promised Lily we'd go and keep an eye on Marlene. She's going out with Carlo again, he evidently liked her new hair quite a lot and I take that as a compliment. Lily still doesn't trust him though, she doesn't trust any of her boyfriends. Connie and Mary will probably just go to the bookshop."

"Why oh why must you play so hard to get, my dear Bernadette?"

"Why oh why must you be such an arse, my sweet Sirius?"

At her response, Sirius slung an arm around her shoulders and pulled her closer so that he could grab her in a head hold and violently mess up her hair. She shrieked and tried to push him off of her but to no avail.

"I'm kidding! I'm kidding!" She screeched. "I love you!"

He promptly released her. "That's all I ever needed to hear. Knew I was your favourite person."

"Not quite but you're up there, right under Professor Kettleburn."

"You evil, evil woman."

Although she would likely never admit it to his face, she found a lot of comfort around Sirius Black. He was always just so unapologetically himself and she really admired that about him. Hence why she was so irritated at his unusual behaviour. There was not much calm in her life and Sirius was far from being a calm person but he made her feel less like an echo of herself and more like a living, breathing person. With him, she didn't feel like she had to hide or offer him anything and she liked that.   
~~

**~September 1st 1969~**

_Platform Nine and Three-Quarters was bustling with families saying goodbye to their children as they left for Hogwarts school of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Bernadette Sommers was sat on top of her brother Christopher's trunk with her arms folded_ _tightly_ _over her chest and lower lip jutted out in a pout._

_"I have to go Bernie or else I'll miss the train!" The eleven year old whined, stomping his foot down impatiently._

_"No!" His younger sister crossed her arms even tighter in indignation. "You're not leaving me, Chris!"_

_"Mum!" The boy went over to pull on his mother's dress. "Tell her to get off my trunk."_

_The woman sighed wearily, regretting not leaving the other kids at home with their grandmother_ _and Henry after_ _Josephine tripped on a_ _passing_ _wizard's long trailing robes_ _and proceeded to wail as though she'd been shot_ _. Bernadette was not helping, adamantly refusing to let her brother go off to school for four months and then leaving again for another six._

_"Mum!" She mimicked his voice. "Tell him that he doesn't need to go to school!"_

_"Shut up!" The woman rubbed at her temples, eager to ship one of her children off to lessen the noise levels slightly. "Get off his trunk Bernie, you can go to Hogwarts too in a few years."_

_"It's not fair!" She screeched, sliding reluctantly off the trunk. "He can't leave me alone with Joey and-"_

_"Mother." An all too familiar voice caused all to freeze_ _and tense up._

 _"William." The woman replied stiffly, scooping up_ _Josephine_ _and holding_ _her_ _close to her chest._

_"I just came to see Christopher off and offer my proposal one final time." The freshly graduated boy glanced at Bernadette, eyes softening ever-so-slightly._

_"I already told you William," The woman lowered her voice to an irritated whisper. "I will not allow Bernie to move all the way to Australia with you and your little purist friends. You shouldn't have come here."_

_"Deepest apologies." He didn't sound sorry at all. "At least let me speak to her."_

_The woman relented begrudgingly, taking a little solace in the fact that the source of many of their problems was moving halfway across the globe. "Okay, make it quick."_

_William walked forwards in a few short strides and bent down so that he was eye-level with the nine-year-old who stared back impassively, not wanting to let her fear shine through._

_"Hello Bernadette." His voice was softer when he spoke to her but it didn't lessen her fear of him in any way whatsoever._

_"Hi."_ _She replied stiffly, trying not to betray her true feelings._

_"Mother told you I was moving far away, didn't she?"_

_"Yes." She felt Christopher reach over and take hold of her hand as her voice shook slightly._

_"So you probably won't be seeing me for a very long time." A wave of immense relief came crashing over her. The less she saw of her half-brother, the better._

_"Okay."_

_"I'll miss you, Bernie."_

_"Okay."_

_"Write to me, won't you?"_

_She hesitated in her strictly one-word answers. "Okay."_

_Normally she didn't like to lie but if it stopped him from flying into a_ _nother_ _rage, she was okay with telling a few little lies to keep him satisfied. The train whistle sounded sharply, breaking the tense atmosphere between the group._

_Christopher dropped his sister's hand and took ahold of his trunk, lugging it towards the train and waving goodbye with a final terrified glance behind him at the tall figure which now loomed over Bernadette. He could now only pray that William would no longer bother them, especially Bernadette._

_After the Hogwarts Express was out of view, waving hands dropped to sides and people began to filter out. But not the Sommers. They stayed rooted in place, silently staring into empty space until they were positive that William had disapparate_ _d for good._

_"Mum." Bernadette had voiced in the taxi ride back to the Leaky Cauldron where they would then take the Floo back up to their home. "Why does William want me to come to Australia with him? I don't have to, do I?"_

_"No baby, don't you worry about it, William will be too busy with his new...job to bother us anymore."_

_"So no more fighting?"_

_"No more fighting my love. No more fighting."_

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I'm back at school for fourth year and I'm not very happy so far. I'm still in the bad locker room which is shared with second, third and fifth years even though it's the size of my living room and I don't have my favourite English teacher this year not to mention the five new group projects I got on the first day. The only good thing is that we only have three schoolbooks and can now use the back stairs because we're senior students. We're also going on a trip to the Burren soon so that should be fun.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	14. Chapter Thirteen: Toil and Trouble

**-February 1976-**

"Hogsmeade! Hogsmeade!" Bernadette and Marlene skipped through the Great Hall, arms linked as they sang obnoxiously many tired faces glaring at them,

"Honeydukes!" They plopped down at the Gryffindor table where Lily, Connie and Mary were already waiting for them.

"And Butterbeer!"

"And a date with my future husband!" Marlene swooned, clutching at her heart as Lily pushed a bowl of porridge towards her.

The pair laughed. It was unusual to see both so chipper so early in the morning but that Saturday just so happened to be their first trip to Hogsmeade since Christmas. Hogsmeade trips generally consisted of the girls splitting up into groups to either go to Zonko's or the bookshop, Tomes and Scrolls and then meeting up again at the Three Broomsticks to show off their purchases and laugh at other students getting shot down by the charismatic bartender, Rosmerta.

That trip wasn't all too different, they'd split up to do their shopping and then listen to Marlene's failed date with Carlo over Butterbeer.

"Oi, Bernie!"

The girl in question jumped slightly as a pair of hands came down on her shoulders from behind, startling her. "Jesus, you scared me, Chris! What do you want?"

"Just to talk to my wonderful, beautiful and incredibly talented little sister."

"Don't bullshit me, Christopher, what trouble have you gotten yourself into this time?" She threw a piece of toast at him, grinning as it hit him square in the face and left jam on his nose.

He pretended to be offended, gasping dramatically. "I'm serious, all I need is one small little favour."

"I knew it!" Her knife clattered against her plate as she pointed her finger in his face with a smug look. "You only want to 'talk' when you need something! So spit it out, brother dearest."

His nonchalant facade melted off quickly and was replaced with a stressed grimace. "I forgot it was Camille's birthday so I currently have no present, no plans, nothing but I panicked and told her that I had a surprise for tonight."

"Idiot." Connie snickered through a mouthful of fried eggs. "She'll kill you."

"What do you want me to do about it?" Bernadette shrugged helplessly. "Because I really can't do shit to dig you out of this hole."

"But you're a girl!" He took her hands up in his pleadingly.

"No shit, Sherlock or have you gone the past fifteen years thinking I was a lizard?"

He was clearly not amused by her sarcasm. "You know what girls like though! Just get her something that'll make her think I'm the best boyfriend ever. A big romantic gesture that screams 'Christopher isn't a shitty human being'."

The Hufflepuff looked at him incredulously. As to why he thought she'd have any knowledge on romance, she had no clue. She'd been pining after the same person since second year and still could barely say a word to him without mortifying herself. Therefore, saying she was inexperienced in the ways of love was a serious understatement. The only other crush she'd ever had was on Mr. Darcy from 'Pride and Prejudice' and he wasn't even real!

"Ask Marlene."

"I'm busy!" The newly turned blonde shook her head adamantly. "I'm going to spend the day with Carlo."

"What about your friends?" She tried, not wanting to get blamed if her brother got dumped. "They know Camille better than I do and either way...I'm busy too."

Christopher looked at her skeptically. "And what's keeping you too busy to help your darling elder brother not get his dick chopped off?"

She hadn't anticipated him actually asking what her plans were and her mind spiralled into panic, wracking her brain to come up with a quick excuse. "A date?"

"You're going on a date?" Her brother and friends all stared at her in shock and disbelief. "With who?"

Oh Jesus no. She was just digging her own grave at that point. "Um...Sirius."

The boy had heard his name being said from a few seats over and glanced at her. "What is it, love?"

She was ready to just throw herself off the top of the Astronomy Tower. "Just talking about how excited I am about our plans later today."

Bernadette tried and failed to wink at him, praying that he would catch onto her draft and play along. If he didn't she would be left mortified and with the responsibility of helping Christopher with his relationship problems.

"Oh yeah," he winked back and she suddenly felt much lighter. "Can't wait, I'll meet you outside the castle."

In that moment she was fit to thank whatever angel or god or deity was watching over her. She'd been miraculously saved from a potentially very humiliating moment.

"So sorry, Chris, maybe try faking a coma like you did last summer to get out of feeding the chickens." She patted him on the back and watched him leave with a triumphant stare.

When she returned her attention to her breakfast she found four girls gazing at her, open-mouthed. Eventually Marlene groaned very loudly and dug through her pockets to fish out three golden Galleons and handed them over to Mary with a sour look gracing her beautiful features.

"Well that was a lot sooner than any of us expected." Lily shook herself out of her stunned trance. "I thought you'd need more time to get over Daniel but I'm just glad I didn't bet on it like this moron."

"Wait," Bernadette furrowed her eyebrows. "What were you guys betting on? And  _no Lily_ , I'm not over Daniel. Quite frankly, I don't have a clue what you lot are talking about."

"They think you and Black have a thing." Connie nudged her.

Bernadette felt her face heating up and her jaw drop. "Ew! Gross! Don't even joke about that, we're just friends, you sickos!"

Mary rolled her eyes. "Sure Etta, we totally believe that you two meeting up every night in secret is just a friendly get-together."

"It is!"   
~~

Originally she had planned to camp out with Lily to keep an eye on Marlene during her date which was pretty much guaranteed to be a complete flop but it appeared as though Sirius had taken her words of panic and desperation as truth and cornered her outside the castle, leaning up against the stone wall.

"Where do you wanna go?" He asked her expectantly. "Hopefully somewhere fun because James is being a pissbaby since I cancelled our plans."

"Why can't he tag along?" She continued to walk with Lily who was pretending as though Sirius didn't exist. "I wouldn't want him to feel excluded or anything. And Lily won't mind, will you Lils?"

The prefect sniffed in annoyance in response but didn't verbally object to the boys tagging along so Bernadette would just have to make it up to her later by buying her a few Peppermint Toads from Honeydukes.

Sirius almost looked disappointed but as to why, she didn't have a clue. "Oh, okay, the  _four_ of us are going together. Cool."

They caught up with James who looked rather sour next to Remus and Peter, dreading being dragged to all the boring shops with them but he brightened up considerably as they grabbed him to come along with them. He seemed especially happy that Lily was with them and made a mental note to spend more time with Bernadette in the hopes that Lily would also be there with her.

The group trekked through a few inches of snow, laughing loudly at Bernadette's complaints about how cold she was. Their first stop was Honeydukes which was crowded as it always seemed to be, students rushing around with armfuls of Acid Pops and Pepper Imps who clearly weren't thinking about their dental hygiene.

The Hufflepuff girl bought Lily her Peppermint Toads and the young redhead didn't seem to be as bothered by the boys' existence once she had some food to keep her satisfied and distract her from the painfully idiotic things that would come out of their mouths. She'd also picked up some of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum to give to Alice later as she'd said she was too busy with homework and study to go to Hogsmeade.

Their next stop was Zonko's Joke Shop where three of the four stocked up on Dungbombs, Nose-Biting Teacups. Fanged Frisbees and Frogspawn Soap while Lily engaged in an apprehensive conversation with Bilton Bilmes who was trying to convince her to try one of his Hiccough Sweets.

After that, Bernadette dragged them all to the Herbology shop, Dogweed and Deathcap and then Dervish and Banges so she could replace her Sneakoscope which she'd accidentally knocked off her nightstand when wrestling with Jane. Lily insisted on bringing them to J. Pippin's Potions and Scrivenshaft's Quill Shop where James and Sirius earned themselves a lifetime ban after 'accidentally' setting an expensive eagle feather quill on fire.

Lily, who was still in a bad mood after the whole debacle, chugged a mug of Butterbeer next to Bernadette, sending a rather nasty look in the direction of the two boys seated across from them.

"I can't believe you two morons got us kicked out." She set down her mug on the table so hard that the people around them glanced over in worry. "It was so embarrassing!"

A smirk spread across James' face. "You've got a little something on your lip."

Lily's face went as red as her hair as James leaned across the table to run a thumb over her top lip which held a thin line of foam on it.

Bernadette and Sirius exchanged a look, rolling their eyes in anticipation of what was to come.

"Don't touch me." Lily hissed at him, hiding her still crimson face behind her Gryffindor scarf. "You're disgusting."

James, for a split second, seemed to be genuinely hurt but his signature cocky attitude was back before you could say 'toe-rag'. "Isn't that just a part of my charm?"

Bernadette and Sirius were trying very hard not to laugh as Lily's face morphed into a scowl reminiscent to that they'd seen on the Red Cap from their DADA textbook and she stood up abruptly. "I'm going to the bathroom."

Bernadette trailed after her fuming friend, leaving the two boys back at the table as they darted into the ladies room. There were a few other people inside, two seventh years gossiping in the corner while peering over that morning's Daily Prophet and three older women talking shit about some woman named Deirdre. Lily turned on the faucet and splashed cold water on her face, hoping it would take the red down off her cheeks.

"God, he's so infuriating!" She banged her clenched fists down on the edges of the sink. "It's taking every ounce of my willpower not to reach across that table and strangle him!"

Bernadette hoisted herself up so that she was seated on one of the sinks, swinging her legs. "Well you didn't  _have_ to come along with us if you didn't want to. Mary and Connie wouldn't have minded, you usually go with them anyways. So why did you come then, Lils?"

The redhead opened her mouth to respond but quickly closed it again like a goldfish. "...I just didn't want you to leave you alone with them, you'd probably get yourselves killed or worse."

"What's worse than getting killed, expelled?" The Hufflepuff faked horror at the mere idea. "Oh the humiliation of being  _expelled_!"

"Shut up you spaz." Lily couldn't help but chuckle at her friend's antics. "But now I really have to go to the toilet, wait for me."

"Sure, whatever."

As the brunette continued to swing her legs, she couldn't help but grow very bored very quickly. The old women had left the bathroom which only left her and the two seventh years. She knew that it was wrong to eavesdrop as her mother had told her many times but she had nothing else better to do. So, while pretending to be fascinated with a bar of soap she leaned over closer to them, catching on to some of their hushed words.

"-fourteen muggles and a whole blood-traitor family dead."

"Christ, Ava thinks she's going to be taken out of school after that protest her uncle led against You-Know-Who."

"I hadn't expected them to be going after purebloods but I suppose these days they're just attacking anyone who disagrees with them."

Bernadette's blood ran cold and she dropped the soap she'd been holding in her hands. She hadn't heard about this, she disliked reading the newspaper as it was either horrifyingly depressing or overdramatised bullshit. But if they were going after blood-traitors too, Connie's family was definitely in danger. Her father wrote for an independent magazine which was covering You-Know-Who attacks and gave advice on how to stay safe from Death Eaters and her mother was an Auror who had already locked up eleven of his followers in Azkaban. It was hard to get more blood-traitor than the Farlows.

Not to mention Bernadette's own family, her mother had been cast out and it was almost certain that her family would support You-Know-Who which made them targets. What about Marlene? Her parents were both in the Ministry, fighting to stop the Dark Lord from recruiting the Giants or other magical beasts. Lily and Mary weren't safe either, being muggleborns.

To put it simply, everything she loved was under threat and it only seemed to be hitting her now. They were at war and nobody was safe.

"You okay Etta?" Lily's voice broke her out of her trance as the girl washed her hands. "You spacin' out on me?"

"I've gotta go."

Bernadette hopped off the sink and ran out of the bathroom. She made it back to their table where she snatched up her bags and without even giving an explanation to the pair of stunned boys, she weaved her way through the crowd and ventured out of the pub. Her legs carried her down the street, ignoring the biting cold which seeped into her skin like poison, she had to find the Headmaster.

By the time she'd reached the castle she was heaving and drenched from the snow hence she garnered a lot of unwanted attention from younger students and patrolling teachers as she sprinted up the stairs.

"Peppermint Toads." She breathed out, leaning up against the wall but the stone gargoyle didn't move.

"Peppermint Toads!" She spoke louder but it still did not step aside. "That's the password dickwad! Open u-"

A tap on her shoulder froze her in her tracks and she slowly turned around, coming face to face with Professor Dumbledore dressed in long purple robes, his beard tucked into his belt and half-moon spectacles glinting in the light.

"Is there a reason as to why you are screaming at my gargoyle Ms Sommers?" He lifted an eyebrow. "Or is this another one of your entertaining pranks?"

"I need to speak to you now Professor, in private." She felt slightly embarrassed being caught swearing at a statue. "It's a matter of utmost importance."

He didn't answer her but instead muttered a hasty "Jelly Slugs" and led her through the large oak door to his office. It required most of her willpower not to become distracted by the various trinkets or huge red Phoenix in the room as she sat down in one of the chairs across from his desk.

"Now, what is your issue my dear?"

"I want to join the Order of the Phoenix." She leaned forwards, hands on her knees, staring at him imploringly. "I want to help fight against You-Know-Who. And before you say anything, I know I'm young but I've been thinking and I know I can be very useful. For example, I'm a decent dueller, I have extensive knowledge of plants, magical creatures and poisons, I know lots of healing ma-"

Professor Dumbledore held up a hand, silencing her. "I apologise Ms Sommers but I'm afraid I cannot permit you to join my organisation. Quite frankly I don't even know how you came to learn of its existence but for your informant's sake, I will not ask. You are neither of age or a fully qualified witch."

Her frown deepened. "Please, Professor!"

"I will hear nothing of it. I cannot send a grief-stricken fifteen year old girl into a war with a clear conscience."

"I'm almost sixteen!"

"That changes nothing. However, if this war still has not been resolved by the time you've graduated you have an open invitation to join the ranks of the Order. I will not deny that you are an outstanding witch for your age but as of present you would be of no use to me."

Bernadette felt her heart sink and her eyes prick with tears. "I can't wait another two years, Professor, by then everyone could be dead."

He nodded understandingly. "So this is what this is all about, you fear for the wellbeing of your loved ones."

She swiped at some rogue tears which had escaped from her eyes and trailed down her red cheeks which were still numb from outside. "Maybe."

"I assure you, Ms Sommers, no harm will come to your family or friends. So, your job for right now is to calm down, have a sherbet lemon and try your best to improve your magic." He pushed a glass bowl filled to the brim with bright yellow sweets towards her.

Hesitantly, she reached in and took one out. "My gran loves these."

"Clearly she has got good taste, your grandmother." He smiled at her but she had the slightest feeling that it wasn't genuine. "And don't let Filch catch you with your new purchases from Zonko's, which may I remind you are banned."

"I don't have the slightest clue what you're talking about, Professor." With that, she got up from her seat, spared a glance at the majestic red bird which was staring her down and left his office without another word.

Bernadette really didn't want to admit that Dumbledore may have been correct. She couldn't fight when she still had the Trace on her and she wouldn't pose too much of a threat to Death Eaters when she was yet to become a fully qualified witch. Perhaps it was in her own best interest to try her best to forget about it, all she could ever seem to do was provide people with a bit of relief from their grim situation by bringing colour to the world so she supposed that's what she would have to do.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so fucking sick but I've been super productive. Wrote loads, finally figured out how to do simultaneous equations with three variables, actually did my homework for once and I don't have much of an appetite so I don't feel bad about not doing any exercise. Also my JC results come in on Wednesday and while everyone will be at discos or having family meals, I'm going to dance class.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	15. Chapter Fourteen: The Marauder's Map

**-February 1976-**

The further they got into February, the warmer the weather got, much to Bernadette's relief. No longer did she have to spend her mornings attending class still with her duvet wrapped tightly around her or her evenings spent huddled up by the fire, neglecting her Transfiguration homework. That Saturday she was excited for three reasons, it was hot enough that she had an excuse to wear one of her summer dresses, the Ravenclaw vs Slytherin match was on that day and she had spent the night before planning a wonderful prank with her favourite troublemakers of Gryffindor house.

The prank they'd planned wasn't exactly elaborate or exceptionally original but Bernadette was in some serious need of cheering up after her encounter with Dumbledore the previous week. James' father had sent him a package filled with hair products from some of his colleagues earlier that week and as they rifled through the contents, Remus came up with the idea to show their support for their preferred team by dying the Slytherin Quidditch teams' hair a bright shade of blue.

Sirius had been all for the idea as his brother (who he didn't exactly have the best relationship with) was Seeker, James and Peter just wanted a laugh and Bernadette was desperate for something to take her mind off the fact that everyone she loved was in danger. Sure Josephine would be understandably miffed off but Bernadette hoped her little sister would take some comfort that she was still cheering for her.

It was almost guaranteed that they'd get caught but none seemed to care all that much, every day the articles in the Daily Prophet seemed to be getting more and more ominous and more and more kids were being pulled out, everyone needed a bit of joy, even if it was just a few seconds to laugh at the Slytherins.

The Slytherin Quidditch team entered the Great Hall together, already dressed in their emerald uniforms, as they normally did. Nothing seemed to be amiss and none of them noticed the piercings stares and muffled laughter from the Gryffindor table as they sat down to help themselves to heapings of food. The only tricky bit about the prank was making sure that it only targeted the Quidditch team, after many hours of thought, they'd decided that they were too tired to think of a good plan and settled on hitting the whole house.

There wasn't very many students in the Great Hall by that time for starters because it was the weekend and the match didn't start for another three hours so they all had loads of time to kill. The few students who were present however, seemed suspicious that five of the most notorious troublemakers, none of which liked to be up early, were all wide eyed and cheery that specific morning. They would soon find out.

Josephine's hair had been the first to start changing. A deep blue spread out from her roots and slowly made its way down to the ends of her ponytail as she continued to eat her breakfast, oblivious to her new hair colour. The rest of the Quidditch team stared at her in confusion and then, one by one, every head turned a bright blue.

Over by the Gryffindor table, the small group had ducked their heads low and trying their hardest not to laugh. They were clearly not doing a very good job as Bernadette's little sister stalked over, red face clashing horribly with her hair.

"Bernadette!" She hissed venomously. "Change it back, now."

"No can do, Joey." She stood up and brushed a lock of her sister's hair behind her ear. "The effects last from two weeks to a month, no exceptions. If it's any consolation, it really makes your eyes pop!"

The third year girl sniffed in disbelief, crossed her arms tightly over her chest and left the group, most of whom were practically rolling on the floor, laughing. Bernadette was glad to say that she was sufficiently distracted.  
~~

Bernadette and Christopher stuck out like sore thumbs among the sea of sapphire. Although not overly fond of most Slytherin, they still came in their green cloaks and banners to embarrass their darling baby sister. Both knew that she was secretly grateful for their support however stupid they looked doing it.

The match turned out to be a lot shorter than anyone had hoped. Each team had only managed to score once or twice before Regulus Black caught sight of the Golden Snitch and went diving for it, the Ravenclaw seeker was quick on his heels. The Ravenclaw commentator, Flora was screaming desperately into her microphone about how there should be a law against ending the game within the first ten minutes as Regulus' fingers closed around the small metal ball and won the sapphire headed Slytherins the match.

"Oh fuck off!" James exploded angrily, looking as though he was ready to head down into the field himself. "They have to be cheating!"

Bernadette was equally angry as Josephine hadn't even had a chance to get ahold of the Quaffle during the short-lived game and yelled out her own fair share of profanities. Needless to say, the trek back up to the school was mostly silent due to most students' sour moods.

"That was so unbelievably sad that I don't even want to sneak into the after-party anymore." Bernadette kicked a stone in front of her as she walked up to the school with Sirius and Marlene on either side of her as they walked slightly behind the rest of their friends.

"If you want you can stay the night in my dorm and I can sneak us in some Firewhiskey and we'll have a girl's night? If our dorm mates don't like it they can sleep in the common room." Marlene suggested, linking her arm with the brunette's.

Bernadette shook her head. "No, I think I want to stop drinking, it only ever gets me into fucked up situations. From now on my only unhealthy habit will be smoking."

"Since when do you smoke?" Marlene looked at her incredulously. "And giving up on alcohol? You're the life of the party though, Etta!"

"I've been smoking since I was thirteen for your information and I'll still be the life of the party when sober so fuck your opinion, Marly."

"What'll we do tonight then?" The blonde frowned before turning to Sirius. "Any ideas, Black? You can join us if you want?"

"I can sneak us out of the school if you want." He leaned closer so that nobody else heard them. "We can pop round Hogsmeade for a few hours, Madam Rosmerta won't tell on us."

The two girls exchanged quick looks before nodding eagerly. Trips to the village by their school didn't come very often and were happening less and less as the threat of all-out war became stronger. They'd do anything to escape Hogwarts at that point.

"And how do you suppose we'll sneak out then?"

Sirius shot her a lopsided smirk which caused a group of second year girls who were watching from afar explode into a fit of giggles. "I have a secret weapon, we keep it in the dorm. This is highly classified information now so I need you ladies to keep it to yourselves."

The three hooked their pinkie fingers around each other in silent confirmation and continued on their way, albeit with a bit more gusto than before. Just as they were about to start heading up to Gryffindor Tower, a voice sounded from behind them, calling out for Marlene.

"Carlo?" She stopped in her tracks as her two companions rolled their eyes. "What are you doing here? I thought we agreed that this weren't working out after you called me stupid and said you never wanted to see me again?"

Bernadette couldn't focus as the boy launched into a romantic spiel about how much he missed having her in his life and how much he loved her. She wasn't exactly not a fan of romance but she found the monologues a bit unnecessary and a waste of time. Therefore she didn't process a word he'd professed to her friend.

Marlene had always been a very pretty girl and she knew it, she loved all the attention she got from it, unable to get enough. Her friends often tried to get her to steer clear of the abusive manipulative assholes but they were just the kind of boys she'd attract. She would put up with their bullshit for a week before breaking it off but getting back together was not uncommon. Because of this, situations such as the one unfolding in front of Bernadette's eyes were not rare and she was well used to them by that point.

Marlene, on the contrary to her friend, loved big gestures such as the one she was receiving at that minute and almost completely forgot as to why she'd broken up with him before in the spur of the moment. She didn't seem to care that there was about twenty pairs of curious eyes watching their every move or that her friend was impatiently tapping her foot on the stone floor.

"You guys go without me," she waved behind her without even looking back. "I'm gonna hang out with Carlo for a bit."

"Totally called it," Bernadette whispered once they were out of earshot. "Mary now owes me five Galleons, stupid bitch should've known not to bet against me, I'm always right."

"What about that time you thought that limes were just unripened lemons?" He failed to hold back a laugh. "Your dad's a farmer for Christ's sake!"

"In my defence, he's not a lemon farmer!"

It didn't take much longer for the pair to reach the fifth year Gryffindor boys' dorm now that they didn't have Marlene slowing them down in the impractical stilettos she'd chosen to wear outside on the grass because she loved the way they made her legs look. Remus and Peter were already there, Peter sprawled on his bed, trying to balance his wand on his nose and Remus reading upside-down.

The other occupants of the room didn't pay the new arrivals much notice except Remus offering each a square of his chocolate bar without even looking up from the page.

"Nah, we're good but do you know where James put the map?"

The wand fell from Peter's face and clattered not the floor. His face was painted in betrayal. "You told her about the map?"

"I'm sorry but I still don't understand how a map is gonna help us sneak out. We've been going here for almost five years now, I think we know our way around."

"You're sneaking out?" Remus frowned over the top of his book.

Sirius sighed. "Yes now can you just tell me where Prongs put the bloody map!"

"Under his pillow, I think."

"Thank you Wormtail, at least someone is helpful." Sirius went over to James' bed and pulled a blank piece of parchment out from underneath his pillow and immediately went to drag Bernadette out of the room.

"Wait, that's not a map." She pulled out of his grip. "It's either blank or I'm going mental."

Her shaggy haired friend rolled his eyes at her and tutted. "My dear Nettle, ye of little faith, watch and learn as I dazzle you with my magic!" He tapped his wand on the front of the parchment and recited a confident: "I solemnly swear that I am up to no good."

From the tip of his wand, black ink spiralled out and laced around the parchment to create a minuscule picture of Hogwarts and a series of words above it. The map read:  _Messrs Moony, Wormtail, Padfoot and Prongs, Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers are proud to present 'The Marauder's Map'_.

Sirius carefully unfolded the parchment which detailed a map of the school with little dots with names underneath them moving about the hallways like tiny ants. Sirius pointed to two dots in a circular room which represented the dorm, cursive writing spelling out their names.

"That's us right there and you can see Marlene and Carlo in a broom closet on the third floor...Lily is in the Great Hall and Filch is pacing the Ground Floor."

Bernadette's eyes lit up in glee and she carefully stroked the page with her fingers. The amount of mischief she could get up to with it made her feel light and giddy inside. If she got her hands on this map she would probably never have to serve detention again.

"Where'd you get this?"

"We made it." Sirius looked down at her smugly. "Took ages but it was well worth the wait."

"Still a work in progress though." Remus piped up.

"It's a fucking masterpiece! How the hell did you lot manage to do all this by yourselves? My first guess would be the Homonculus charm, I think Lily was going on about it or something, but not all the rooms in the school are accessible so you wouldn't be able to plot them but it looks like they're all here." She watched her own dot move across the room as she did herself, marvelling at it and wondering if it was all a dream.

"Peter was able to slip underneath some doors to cast the spell and sneaking around is easy with the invisibility cloak." Sirius shrugged as though it wasn't too much of a big deal. "Anyways, since Marlene isn't here we can take the Whomping Willow passage so we don't have to sneak through Honeydukes."

"This is so fucking cool I think I might just pass out."

Bernadette did not actually lose consciousness, she was far too excited to miss out on a single second of watching the map in action. This excitement was only doubled when Sirius pulled an invisibility cloak from James' trunk and reassured her that it was not made from the hair of a Demiguise.

The pair had slipped under the cloak and out of the dormitory, weaving through the small crowd in the common room and trying their best not to laugh and blow their cover. Nobody seemed to notice the opening of the portrait entrance or the whispered curse word as Bernadette stumbled a bit on a loose floorboard.

Sneaking around proved to be much easier when one was in possession of an invisibility cloak and a map which showed every inch of the place one was trying to sneak around and where everyone in said place was. In no time they had poked the knot on the base of the thrashing Whomping Willow with a long stick and slipped through the passage when they'd removed the cloak and continued on their way.

"Where does this lead?" Bernadette scanned the long tunnel they found themselves in. There were a few long slashes on the walls from what she presumed to be from Remus' werewolf form and beetles scuttling along the ground and around her feet. It was cold and dark and they'd fallen quite far so she assumed they were deep underground.

"The Shrieking Shack." He replied simply, folding up the map and stuffing it in his back pocket before lighting up the top of his wand to they could see where they were going.

"Isn't that place haunt-it's just Remus, isn't it?" The tales of the haunted house in Hogsmeade had always seemed a bit strange to her and an irritated werewolf made more sense than ghosts that just decided to show up one day out of the blue. She felt a bit stupid for not having thought of that before.

"Correct, that's where he transforms every month but sometimes we'll wander the school grounds or Hogsmeade if we're sure no one's out."

"Being an Animagus must be so cool," she sighed wistfully. "I wonder what I'd be? Probably something stupid like a fish or a bug or something. I'd love to be a big scary animal though, like a bear or a tiger or an elephant!"

"The process sucks though," Sirius shivered a bit, remembering some of the steps. "And takes ages, we only managed to transform this year."

After some time, the tunnel began to rise and came to a twist and exposed a small opening. Beyond the opening she could see into a dark room with boarded-up windows and smashed furniture. Sirius pulled himself through the hole first and then offered his hand to Bernadette who gratefully took it and soon found herself in the room.

Slivers of sunlight slipped through gaps in the wood which covered the windows and she could now see the peeling wallpaper and huge scratches which decorated the walls. There was a door to their right which revealed a narrow hallway with looming shadows.

The young Hufflepuff gazed around in curiosity. She'd never thought she'd ever step foot in the Shrieking Shack nor did she really want to but it wasn't all that scary now that she knew it was just a safe haven for her lycanthrope friend. With a bit of TLC, it wouldn't look so bad, people could probably live there if they did it up a bit.

"If we're ever on the run as criminals we could totally hide out here." She spoke as they briskly strode through the hallway and past a crumbling staircase.

"I feel like on the run from Death Eaters is a much more plausible situation."

She frowned slightly. "No because I refuse to run from Death Eaters, they should be the ones running from me."

"Yeah, you are pretty terrifying when you want to be."

"Piss off!"

The door was clearly not made to be opened so it took them quite a while to pry it open, neither realising that they should've just used magic but after their twentieth attempt, the door swung open and they made their way out of the house and onto the surrounding grass.

Their first stop was The Three Broomsticks where Madam Rosmerta had glared at them all the while they drank their Butterbeers, knowing full well that they had snuck out. It was far less busy than it usually was during their visits, quieter too and felt a lot nicer without having to shout over the noise to be heard.

Next the pair popped round to Honeydukes where they spent the remainder of their money on Cauldron Cakes, Ice Mice, Pepper Imps and Cockroach Clusters which they piled high in their arms before stumbling back to the Shrieking Shack. It was there that they sat against the fence and happily stuffed their faces while talking about nothing in particular.

"That map is far out though." She shook her head, still in disbelief that such a cool item could exist. "And the fact that you guys just made it by yourselves makes it even more incredible."

"You know," he shot her a lazy smirk. "You really need to get over the map."

She looked at him incredulously. "Well  _you_  need to understand that you guys are fucking geniuses even if a bit annoying at times. I know people who would not kill but seriously maim a person for that map."

He laughed at her, throwing his head back.

"Don't laugh at me you prick!" She threw a Pepper Imp at him as hard as she could, a satisfied smirk crossing her lips as it smacked him in the face. "I'm serious!"

"No, I'm Sirius, you're Bernadette."

"You think you're smart, don't you, you cheeky fucker?" She pouted slightly in annoyance. "I hate you."

"Don't lie to yourself, love, you know well that I'm your favourite person."

"Haven't we already had this conversation?" She rolled her eyes. "Newt Scamander is my favourite person and you've only been bumped up two places so you're  _just_ ahead of Barnaby and that's just because he can't talk."

The grin on his face faltered a bit. "Who's Barnaby?"

"That huge Fanged Geranium in the greenhouse, we have a deep spiritual connection but the conversation isn't great. Hence you are slightly above the magical flower with teeth."

"Wow, you really know how to flatter a guy."

"It's just one of my many charms."

"Well you're my second favourite person. No-third actually." He bit his lip in concentration. "First is James and then it's Freddie Mercury."

"That's understandable, one brilliant man and one immature, arrogant but kinda funny little boy. I'm fine so long as you rank me higher than McGonagall. Don't think I don't see you staring at her in class! Still illegal though."

"How many times do I have to tell you?" She had sufficiently pissed him off. "I'm not in love with Professor McGonagall!"

"Well that's a relief." The pair jumped when the familiar voice cut through their conversation. "But I'm afraid I'll have to cut this short and bring you both back up to the castle."

Bernadette gazed up at her Transfiguration teacher in horror. The older woman was staring down at them sternly but the girl could've sworn she'd seen a flicker of amusement in her dark eyes. She was wrapped up in her emerald green cloak and a long pointed hat with a single feather poking out. Her cheeks were reddened from the chill in the air and her mouth was pressed tightly into a thin line. Reluctantly, the two teens got to their feet and began to follow their Professor all the way back up to the school which loomed in the setting sun.

"How'd you know we were gone, Professor?" Sirius questioned, drawing his jacket tighter around himself as the air grew colder. "If you don't mind me asking."

"Did you two forget you were supposed to be serving detention with me an hour ago? I looked all over the castle and thought you'd been kidnapped!"

"Sorry Professor." It was clear that neither were very apologetic but they didn't want to anger the woman further.

"Luckily, the Fat Friar said he saw the Whomping Willow freeze suspiciously and I made an educated guess. You do know that you will be seriously punished for this?"

"Yes Professor."

She sighed irritably. "Honestly, you two are proving to be the bane of my existence. One of these days I won't be around to clean up your messes and you're going to face dire repercussions. Is that clear?"

"Yes Professor."

The trio began to make their way up to the entrance to the castle after walking in silence for a good twenty minutes. By then, the sun had set and the sky had turned an inky black, too cloudy to see any stars or the moon hanging above them. The night air nipped at their noses and ears and turned their cheeks cherry red, invisible however, under the blanket of darkness.

They had just reached the main doors before anyone spoke. "Now, twenty points from each of you, not a word of this to anyone and if it happens again I will not be so forgiving."

"No detention?" Sirius raised a hopeful brow as their shoulders sagged in relief.

"Not this time, Mr Black. Quite frankly, I'm sick of seeing you two serving punishment with me so I'm letting you off with a warning."

Bernadette perked up immensely. "Thank you Professor! We promise it won't happen again, love you!"

With that, the pair sprinted through the doors and made a beeline for the Great Hall, even though they'd already stuffed themselves with sugar and plopped themselves down next to their friends at their respective tables, flashing silent but knowing messages through their gazes. Their promise to Minerva McGonagall would most certainly be broken in the near future and when it was, they'd laugh about it and get to planning their next daring escapade.

They supposed they could refer to themselves as 'Partners in Crime' now and it was only a matter of time before they both found each other landed in trouble and spend another Saturday evening dusting the trophy case together in their weird, twisted bonding sessions. It was a strange dynamic but one they both rather liked. No point in complaining about it then.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The trip to the Burren wasn't too bad just cold and very wet and I almost died going up that mountain. Also American tourists asked to take pictures of us. Got my JC results and I couldn't be more pleased. All As and Bs and my Distinction in English (which only like 1% of students get) so nothing can really bring me down. Also, next chapter is gonna be wild and there will be some serious shift in character dynamics and mark the beginning of the end for two main characters' relationship.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	16. Chapter Fifteen: Not-So-Sweet Sixteen

**-March 1976-**

"I'm gonna kick your ass, Black."

"Oh yeah? You're not even half the Beater I am."

"Wanna bet?" She swung her bat up on her shoulder and did her best James Potter impression to come across as proud and cocky.

"Ten Galleons says I'm a better Beater than you."

"Fine, I'm ready to walk away from this richer and undeniably correct."

A sharp blow of the whistle came from Madam Hooch as she tossed the Quaffle into the air and the Chasers were off. Jane took immediate possession of the Quaffle, snatching it from right under James' nose and she streaked towards the opposite end of the pitch. Bernadette trailed her closely, hitting away a Bludger with a loud 'thwack' and almost knocked a Gryffindor Chaser, Miranda Knight off her broom.

"And a wonderful hit from Sommers!" Flora cheered. "Smithers passes to Reyes and-he's dropped the ball ladies and gents thanks to a Bludger from Black. Potter takes the Quaffle and dodges Smithers. Oh no, she looks  _pissed_ , our sweet little Hufflepuff Captain looks fit for m-sorry Professor-Gryffindor scores!"

Sirius streaked past her on his broom, poking out his tongue mockingly which only served to further fuel her desire to prove him wrong. It didn't take long before their rivalry became evident to the spectators and people began to take sides, chanting for one of the two Beaters.

Bernadette viciously whacked a Bludger away from Jane and sent it flying towards the Gryffindor Keeper who had to make a hard right to avoid getting his face smashed in and left all three hoops exposed.

"Smithers scores! 40-30 to Hufflepuff!"

It was Bernadette's turn to fly by Sirius, smugly flipping him off. The game progressed much in the same way, both teams pretty much neck and neck the whole time and everything was now riding on the Seekers who had yet to spot the Snitch an hour into the game.

"Would you hurry up about it?" She screamed at their Seeker, Emily Vanity. "You literally only have  _one_ job! So do it before Jane's head explodes!"

"It's not my fault you and Black are so distracting!"

"Just do your bloody job!"

"What's this, folks?" Flora's magnified voice cut through their conversation. "Looks like Grant has spotted the Snitch!"

Oh shit. Emily sped after him even though it was obvious he'd be more likely to catch it given his head start. The two Seekers weren't even levelled before a hand wrapped itself tightly around the tiny golden ball and cheers exploded from half of the audience.

"Grant has caught the Snitch," Flora sounded a bit disappointed. "Gryffindor wins."

Once they'd dismounted the brooms, the teams shook hands. James was beaming as though he'd just found out he'd won the lotto and was practically jumping up and down in excitement. Sirius had plastered a shit-eating grin on his face as he grasped Bernadette's hand.

"This doesn't mean you're a better Beater than me, you know?"

"Really?" He feigned innocence. "Because the scoreboard says otherwise."

"Fuck you."

"I'm sure you'd love to."   
~~

One of the few days Bernadette Sommers would wake up early without complaint was March fourteenth, her birthday. Birthdays consisted of an abundance of presents at the foot of her bed, eating as much junk food as possible and Bernadette getting away with being an annoying little shit for the whole day.

As sunlight flooded the fifth year Hufflepuff girls' dormitory which Bernadette resided in, drenching the room in warm hues of yellow and orange, one brunette leapt out of her quilted bed so fast that she knocked over a pile of books on her nightstand and threw her body on the bed next to her.

"Wake up Connie!" She ripped the duvet off of her best friend, screaming in the still slumbering girl's ear. "I'm sixteen bitch and you know what that means!"

"Piss off Etta!" A pillow was hurled at her from across the room from Jane's bed. "Every bloody year you pull this shit and I'm sick of it!"

"Be nice Jane, it's my birthday so you can't be mean to me." The pillow was thrown back before Bernadette continued to shake Connie roughly.

"What do you want?" The half-asleep girl finally responded.

"Don't tell me you've forgotten, it's my-"

"Birthday, yes I know, Etta." She cracked open an eye. "I left your present in my trunk, now leave me alone."

"Bless."

Bernadette found her perfectly wrapped present at the very top of Connie's trunk, sitting on top of her Charms textbook. It was rectangular shaped and didn't make any noises when she shook it so she assumed her friend had wisely purchased something which she would find hard to destroy. She ripped off the wrapping paper and discarded it on the floor so she could marvel at her gift.

A heavy, leather-bound notebook sat in her palms. With it came a long, bright blue quill and a pair of pale pink socks. Connie knew her so well, it was almost as though she could see straight into her head and read her thoughts like a book.

Bernadette opened her mouth to begin profusely thanking her best friend but spotted her asleep again with the pillow pulled over her head. The best thank you she could give her was not waking her up.   
~~

At breakfast, Bernadette piled pancakes and sausages and eggs and black pudding and pretty much any food within her grasp onto her plate. March fourteenth meant eating whatever she wanted whenever she wanted and not even Mary's disapproving stare could deter her on her mission to exceed her daily calorie intake by as much as humanly possible.

"Jesus, Etta, I can feel your arteries clogging up all the way over here and it's disgusting." The dark haired girl wrinkled her nose in disgust.

"I'm so sorry Mary," She spoke through a mouthful of toast. "Am I putting you off your plain, beige slop?"

"Yes you are actually."

"Piss off, as I will repeat for the hundredth time, you can't be mean to me today, it's against the law."

"No it's-"

Lily placed a hand on Mary's arm and shook her head. "Don't bother, your life will be a lot more peaceful if you don't argue with her."

"I'm glad to see  _someone_  has common sense." Bernadette pointed her fork in Lily's direction as she spoke. "Now, what's the plan for today lads? Hopefully something that will get me landed in detention."

Marlene sighed wistfully, her cheek propped up against her hand and she poked at her cereal. "I wish but  _no_ , the others want us to have a  _picnic_."

"A picnic?" Bernadette dropped her fork and sat up straighter. "Will there be dragons? Or acromantula? Unicorns at the very least?"

Connie shook her head. "No but you can bring along any stray Bowtruckles you find along the way so long as you promise to not let them gouge out my eyes."

The Hufflepuff pondered for a few minutes before relenting, if push came to shove she could always get herself into trouble by shooting a few passing hexes at Mulciber or Rosier or pretty much any dickhead Slytherin who pissed her off. "Fine, will the boys be there?"

"They assured me that they wouldn't miss it for the world."

A stupid grin spreading across her face, Bernadette resumed eating. There was no better way she could think to spend her birthday than with her friends and siblings, eating even more food. To make matters even better, the sky was a clear blue and the sun shone down on the Hogwarts ground, filling it with its brilliance and a warm glow. However, deep within her she had a very bad feeling in the pit of her stomach.   
~~

Bernadette had left her friends to go change into a summer dress, greeting random students who wished her a happy birthday. She hummed calmly to herself, a spring in her step and a twinkle in her dark eyes. Eventually she became so lost in her own thoughts and anticipation for the day ahead of her, she didn't even notice a hook-nosed Slytherin boy tailing her from a few feet away, fidgeting nervously with his wand and a younger dark haired boy who walked with confidence and seemed to be dragging the other boy along.

The young Hufflepuff ducked into the second floor girls' bathroom on her left, doubting she'd have enough time to make it to her dorm to use the toilet there. The tiled room appeared to be empty other than her, the only noise coming from a dripping tap. She did her business quickly, eager to get a move on so she could start celebrating her birthday properly but when she'd exited the stall and started washing her hands, the door swung open, banging against the wall.

Bernadette glanced up, expecting to see another girl but instead she was faced with a head of long greasy hair she would've recognised anywhere. "Severus? What are you doing here? You do know this is the girls' bathroom, right?"

He walked closer to her as she stared at him in complete confusion. "Tell me."

"Excuse me?" She cocked an eyebrow and tilted her head to the side, chuckling nervously. "I don't know what you're talking about, Severus."

Suddenly, his wand was pointed at her and he was giving her the most venomous glare she'd ever received. "Tell me! I know you know what they're doing!"

She had never thought she'd see this side of Severus Snape. Throughout all the years she'd known him, he'd never been cruel to her, just impassive, apathetic, he didn't care who she was or what she did just so long as she wasn't mean to him,

Slowly, she stretched her hand out towards him, glancing cautiously at his wand. "Severus, please put that down, I don't know what you want me to tell you."

She was genuinely confused, never in a million years would she have expected to be cornered in a bathroom by this boy and to be ordered to tell him something she didn't know. She just couldn't wrap her head around it but decided against asking questions until his wand tip wasn't aimed directly at her. She was sure he had millions of nasty curses and hexes up in that head of his, all of which he would probably have no qualms using on her judging by his sudden loss of sanity.

He rolled his eyes slightly but did not lower his wand and instead took two long strides towards her. His voice wasn't like how she'd ever heard it, gone was the one-toned sneer with a sarcastic edge, instead his words trembled and he sounded nothing but desperate.

"Where do Potter and his friends disappear every month? I know they've told you, Sommers, don't lie."

"I don't have the faintest idea what you're talking about so please just put down your wand, Severus." She could hear her thumping heartbeat against her chest and her voice trembled slightly.

"I'm not in the mood, Sommers!" His voice rose to a yell and he got so close that his wand was now digging into her neck. She had never felt so afraid of someone she'd thought was harmless before. She'd always tried so hard to be his friend but the only place that got her was terrified in an empty bathroom, faced with a question she couldn't answer.

There was no way in hell she'd spill what she knew about Remus, betraying his trust like that was the worst thing she could do to him. She knew that Snape knew she was lying and feigning ignorance but she didn't think he would really hurt her. After all, she was one of Lily's closest friends, hurting Bernadette would be like hurting Lily herself. Not to mention he'd probably get expelled but either way she didn't expect him to do what he did.

"Severus, I swear to you on my life that I don't know anything about what they do every month. Remus has always been sickly, you know that, there's no conspiracy behind it all. He's already told you that he visits his mum, maybe the others tag along sometimes, I really don't know." Her breaths came out short and raspy, the look in his eyes sent a chill down her spine. "If you just put down the wand, I promise I won't tell anyone about this."

For a second, she'd thought her efforts were successful as he began to back away from her, lowering his hand slightly. In a moment, however, he'd turned back around and shook his head. "No! I don't believe you for a minute! Tell. Me. Now."

Bernadette silently shook her head, just praying for him to leave her alone. Her previously bright mood had been so quickly diminished and replaced by fear that she wanted nothing more than to hide in her bed and never have to see the boy again but she refused to let him see how much he was getting to her and stared back with steely eyes. She couldn't show her fear but she could definitely show her anger.

Swallowing her terror, she glared at him. "You know what, Severus? I've tried so hard to be nice to you, to be your friend but you've always been horrible to me. I've only put up with your bullshit for so long because Lily insists that you're a good person deep down and that she wants us to like you. Unfortunately, it seems as though my dear friend is delusional as she can't see what a miserable, hateful, greasy asswipe you really-"

She barely had time to register the fact that he'd raised his wand once again and pointed it at her before pain exploded everywhere in her body. Gashes appeared all over her face, arms, legs and torso, as though made by a sword and stained her clothes with hot, thick blood which dripped onto the stone below her.

Bernadette let out a horrible, ear-piercing scream as she stumbled back, landing harshly on the cool floor as she tripped over her own feet, trying in vain to stop the bleeding from a particularly deep wound on her chest. Tears streamed down her cheeks, mixing with the blood and stinging the cuts. The pain was so excruciating that it blinded her, deafened her, so that she didn't notice Regulus Black sprinting in, wand at the ready.

His face dropped as he saw the older girl writhing on the ground as Snape watched on in horror and disbelief of what he'd done.

"Jesus, you idiot, Snape!" He pushed past the boy and knelt next to the injured Hufflepuff. "I thought we'd agreed not to hurt her?"

"I...I didn't mean...she made me angry."

"That's no excuse, go get Pomfrey before you can say you've killed a girl!" He cast his gaze down to the young girl who seemed to be losing consciousness, eyelids fluttering and breathing slowing. He cursed under his breath, Sirius would not be happy if she ended up dying and his brother could have prevented it.

"Hey, listen, you've got to stay awake." He pulled on a bit of her hair which seemed to do the job. "I have an idea but I need you to stay still, okay?"

She nodded slightly, groaning as he lifted her head up and rested it on his lap. He took a deep breath, rolling up his sleeves and praying that he wouldn't fuck this up. His brother would never forgive him if he did.

"Vulnera Sanentur." He repeated the incantation, feeling the nervous sweat trickling down his forehead as some of the smaller cuts closed themselves up. He was glad he'd agreed to come with Snape as backup, not really knowing what information he wanted to extract from the Hufflepuff girl but didn't exactly have anything better to do. Perhaps if he hadn't come, Bernadette Sommers would be left on the bathroom floor, slowly bleeding out as Snape simply stared at her.   
~~

When Bernadette opened her eyes, she was confused as to why all she saw was plain white, why her whole body hurt and why her hand was being crushed by someone else's. It was then that all the events from the bathroom came flooding back to her. Had Snape...tried to kill her?

"What the fuck?" Her throat felt dry and scratchy as though she hadn't drank anything in years.

Suddenly, ten faces appeared hovering over her own, each gaze filled with relief.

"Of course that's the first thing you say after we think you've been straight up murdered." Connie rolled her eyes but Bernadette spotted tear tracks staining her cheeks.

"Was I on some serious shit or did Severus hex me in the girls' bathroom because I called him greasy? Did I also hallucinate the Slytherin seeker healing me up?" She didn't even bother trying to sit up, her chest felt like it was on fire and she really didn't want to make it worse. "Seriously, what drugs was I on? That shit was...whack."

"No, that all actually happened, Bernie." Josephine reached over to stroke her hair. "You're in the Hospital Wing, Mum and Dad are on their way now. Snape is in the Headmaster's office."

She sighed heavily. "I've never heard of the spell he used on me before, I think he came up with it himself. It'd be cool if it hadn't landed me here, feeling like I was just hit by a fucking train."

"If it makes you feel better," she could identify Remus' voice coming from her left. "There won't be any scarring, I gave Madam Pomfrey some of Herby's leaves."

Bernadette strained her neck around to peer at him. "Thank you but I think it would've been kinda cool if we had matching scars, like a symbol of our friendship. And everyone would think I was like this really cool badass bitch, I mean I already am but I'd look the part too."

"You're mad."

"Is that you, Lily?" She tried to lift her head up and look towards the end of her bed. "Oh how I've missed your condescending tones and boring lectures."

"You've only been out a few hours, Etta. How you still manage to be so infuriating is beyond me." 

"Be nice, I almost died." She laughed a bit but that made her chest hurt and realised that maybe laughing wasn't her best idea with a fucked up chest.

She felt the grip on her hand tighten. "Yeah, you'd better not do that to me again, Nettle, scared me shitless."

A soft smile spread across her lips. "I didn't realise you cared that much, Padfoot. I'm truly honoured to have scared you shitless."

She heard James snort somewhere to her right. "You should've seen him, I thought he was about to kill Snivellus, pacing the room, muttering to himself like a total loon."

Normally, Bernadette would've taken the opportunity to tease him for being so worried but couldn't bring herself to. Deep down, she was touched that he cared so much and didn't really care anymore if he did end up killing the Slytherin who'd attacked her.

"We brought you food, you know, hid it under the bed."

"Bless your heart and soul, Wormy, you're a true friend."

At that moment she heard the doors to the Hospital Wing slam open and hurried footsteps against the stone floor while Madam Pomfrey ordered everyone except family out. Bernadette felt the hand that was holding her own disappear as her friends said their goodbyes and left her and her family in silence.

"So..." Bernadette pursed her lips. "I lived, bitch."

Christopher snorted behind a hand while her mother resisted  smacking her on the arm. "Language, Bernie!"

"Sorry Mum, at least you now know I don't have any brain damage."

"Yeah, you were just born stupid."

"Piss off, Joey!"

"Don't speak to your sister like that!"

"She started it!" The group of five settled into silence again before Bernadette broke it. "Does William know?"

Her mother sighed heavily. "We sent him an owl before we left but I don't think he reads my letters anymore, doesn't write either."

"Good riddance, don't be sad about him, he's a right git. If he never visited Henry I doubt he'll visit me." She huffed, rolling her eyes, she didn't want him to come see her but it annoyed her that her mother still loved him even if he treated her like dog shit on the bottom of his shoe.

"That's different." Josephine piped up. "He has a soft spot for you, Bernie, don't know why since you're so annoying but he still might come."

"Well I hope he doesn't. If he even steps a toe into this room, I'll hex him." Madam Pomfrey pottered over, carefully lifted up a frowning Bernadette and stuffed pillows underneath her so she could observe the scene in front of her.

Her father, who was eyeing the various potions in the cabinet and the Fat Friar who was conversing with a portrait, patted her head lightly and spoke. "Try not to get too worked up, Bernie-Bear, you need your rest."

"Dad!" She whined and smacked his hand away. "I told you to stop calling me that like five years ago."

"Sorry, Bernie-Bear." She glared at him again. "Try and get some sleep though, we have to go meet with the Headmaster in a minute."

"Okay." She watched her parents leave the room, glancing back at her in worry but she really feel like sleeping much. She'd already been knocked out for several hours and didn't really want to spend her birthday asleep.

After prolonged silence between the three siblings, Christopher finally spoke. "Daniel was wondering if it'd be cool if he came to visit tomorrow?"

Bernadette's ears perked up and she unconsciously ran her fingers through her knotted hair. "Yes! That'd be super cool! He can visit me whenever he wants, not like I'm going anywhere. But...tell him I said it a bit more nonchalantly than that, okay?"

Her mind flashed to his smooth dark skin and soft eyes, the tinkle of his laugh and the way he slightly poked out his tongue when concentrating. God did she have it bad for him.

Josephine sighed. "You've so obviously got a crush on him, it's a wonder he doesn't know yet."

Christopher snorted and broke off another square of chocolate. "Oh he does."

Bernadette's heart shattered and she slowly turned her head over to her big-mouthed, idiot of a brother. Daniel knew that she'd been hopelessly falling all over him for three years and never said anything? She wasn't going to lie to herself, that hurt. Clearly, he did not feel the same way about her. Why would he? She was younger, a hot mess, always in detention and always appeared as though she'd been raised in the Forbidden Forest without hairbrushes or skin care routines.

"Then...tell him he can't visit me tomorrow because I'll be too busy making out with my super cool, super rich, sexy boyfriend who rides a motorcycle and can speak French!" She reached over to the nightstand, ignoring the flare of pain in her arm as she did so, and took several gulps of water.

"I'm not telling him that, it'll just make you look even lamer, Bernie."

She turned her head away and suppressed her overwhelming need to cry. "Tell him I'll be hanging out with Connie then, eating sweets and he is most certainly  _not_  welcome. I'm not in the mood to deal with a selfish, conceited git who-"

"He actually thinks your little crush is kinda cute."

"Wait really?" Her head snapped up, eyes wide and hopeful. "Did he really say that or are you taking the piss out of me?"

Christopher reached into his pockets and dug out a chocolate bar which he had managed to sneak past Madam Pomfrey earlier. "I'm telling you the truth, dear sister, he also likes your accent."

Almost forgetting about being attacked only a few hours prior, a giddy smile spread across her lips. She had never thought someone could think her rather thick Scottish accent was attractive before but she'd take what she could get.

"I've changed my mind, he can definitely visit me tomorrow but tell him that I didn't sound too eager like I just kinda shook my head all cool and stuff and quickly changed topics, okay?"

"You are so sad."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I feel like the pacing in this is a bit too rushed, especially the scene in the bathroom but I can always edit it later. And just remember that this is a slow burn fic and no major Blommers (Black x Sommers, get it?) moments until a particularly distressing chapter involving a party and some making out scenes. Also I'm on a bit of a high because my English teacher thought my film review on 'Heathers' had "a particularly good flow", "reads well" and "is intelligently laid out". In all fairness I did try really hard with that piece and loved the outcome but it feels good to be appreciated.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	17. Chapter Sixteen: The Start of the Storm

**-March 1976-**

Madam Pomfrey was extremely unwilling to let Bernadette out of the Hospital Wing as the spell was apparently homemade and nobody really knew the full effects. So she found herself stuck in the same bed, staring at the same wall, sneaking food from under her pillow when the nurse wasn't looking and overall just being bored out of her mind.

She had lots of visitors throughout the day, most of them coming during mealtimes or breaks in between classes but none stayed for very long. Since the brunette had so much free time on her hands she managed to be very productive reading a novel, finishing all the work professors had sent to her, perfecting the summoning charm and trying to write her own song before being told off for disturbing the one other patient in the room who was hidden behind a curtain.

When she'd had enough of having nothing to do, she slept. Had she not been feeling horrible after Snape's curse, she might've snuck off to go cause some havoc around the school but the greasy boy had really done a number on her and she felt like shit. Come to think of it, she had been expecting his expulsion or at least suspension but from what Marlene had disappointingly relayed to her, he'd gotten off with a warning from Dumbledore and a few deducted House points. It made her angry, that he almost killed her and got away with it whereas she got harsher punishments for sneaking out after-hours.

Sometimes Dumbledore really confused Bernadette with his actions and a small part of her wondered if he was really an evil mastermind with some huge elaborate scheme where everything was connected instead of the sweet, eccentric, oddly insightful old man he came off to be. She didn't see much point in pursuing that ridiculous notion so she quickly forgot about it.

Later she realised, that sleeping was a big mistake. She snored and occasionally spoke in her sleep which was embarrassing enough to admit to her friends but she'd eventually gotten over it and stopped caring. Or at least she had until she awoke to a bright card on her nightstand from Daniel who had evidently come to visit while she slept. Of course he would catch her looking like a fool, it was just her shitty luck.

She was left in a seething bad mood until just before dinner when Lily came storming through the doors, flaming hair tangled and cheeks stained with tear tracks.

"Lily?" Her bad mood dissipated and was replaced immediately by worry. "What's wrong? Is it James because I can totally ask him to leave you alone for a bit?"

She sat herself down in the chair next to her friend's bed and crossed her arms over her chest with a huff. "No, for once, Potter is the least of my problems. I tried to talk to Sev again about what he did to you but he completely ignored me! Can you believe that he had the audacity? It's unfathomable!"

Bernadette sat up a bit straighter, boycotting the sharp sting of pain in her chest as she did so. She may not have liked Severus Snape all that much anymore but she still hoped that she hadn't ruined his friendship with Lily. She knew it was something her friend cherished, he had been the one to make her feel like less of a freak when growing up, her first introduction to the Wizarding World, the first person to tell her she wasn't insane.

"I, quite understandably, get frustrated when he refuses to apologise so I gave him a piece of my mind and would you believe the little toad said you got what you deserved!"

Madam Pomfrey shushed them loudly from her office and glared at the furious prefect.

"I'm guessing he's on thin ice now."

"By this point in time, he's drowning in the pond." Lily suddenly looked very sad. "I just don't know what I did wrong though. How could I just let him become this strange person? It's like I don't even know him anymore."

"Maybe you don't, but it's not your fault, Lils." Bernadette took her friend's hand up in her own and gave it a reassuring squeeze. "You couldn't stop him from hanging around with Avery and Mulciber and their lot. Maybe it's time for you two just to go your separate ways."

Lily cast her gaze to the ground as though deeply pondering Bernadette's words. It wasn't easy for her, she'd known Snape for years, he'd been her first true friend, someone she had confided some of her deepest secrets with. To see him turn to the Dark Arts must have broken her heart.

"Maybe you're right, I can't control him and it's not my place to dictate who he wants to be friends with." Her voice was confident but it was clearly veiling a hidden wave of sadness. "I am officially done with Severus Snape."

That statement was highly untrue although she didn't know it at the time. It is truly hard to cut someone one had known and loved for so long completely out of their lives. Because of this, Lily forgave the boy not but a few weeks later but that fact was irrelevant for the time being.

March sixteenth marked Bernadette's third day in the Hospital Wing. There was a full moon that night so she took little solace in the fact that Remus could keep her company the next day but for then she spent her hours staring blankly at the ceiling, humming under her breath and imagining herself in a huge field with the sun warming her skin and the grass between her toes. Escapism was truly a wonderful thing.

"You dead?" A finger poked her side.

She turned her dark eyes to one Sirius Black. "I might as well be, it's so boring here, you wouldn't believe! You can't leave me again, Padfoot, I'll go mad!"

He sat down and rolled his eyes. "For starters, it's a Tuesday so we have classes and it's the full mon and we have to deal with Moony's furry little problem. I can't spend all my time hanging out with you, however much I want to."

"Skip class then," She grasped at his larger hand. "Not the first time you've done it. Keep me company? Pretty please with a cherry on top? I'll love you forever."

"Fine," he sighed reluctantly but still smiled. "If I get detention because of you, though, you owe me big time."

She dug under her pillow to pull out some of Drooble's Best Blowing Gum which she'd gotten from Alice and offered some to Sirius. "If you get detention, I'll do something and also land myself in detention so we can spend even more time together."

"I'm still angry at you, you know?" He declined the gum and stared her down, the conversation taking a sharp turn and taking Bernadette by surprise.

Bernadette furrowed her brow but chuckled a bit in a pathetic attempt to diffuse the sudden tension. "What for? I didn't do shit to you!"

He seemed to be having an inner argument whether or not to actually tell her why he was so mad. He raked his fingers through his shaggy hair before answering her question.

"I thought you'd died, stupid!" His sudden raised volume prompted Madam Pomfrey to shush him loudly from her office. "How do you think I felt when my brother came screaming for me saying you'd been hurt? And now you pretend like nothing happened and you're totally fine when I know for a fact that you aren't fine! You're going to be the death of me, Bernadette Sommers."

She wasn't sure how to respond for a few seconds, opening and closing her mouth repeatedly like a goldfish, dumbstruck. She hadn't exactly expected such an outburst from him. She'd guessed he'd been keeping it to himself for a while, hence the spontaneity of it all.

"Sorry."

"Damn right, you're sorry!" He seemed to calm down a bit, leaning back in his chair, some tension dropping from his shoulders. "Just...don't do that to me again."

"If I didn't know any better, I'd say you care more about me more than you should." She really didn't want to start thinking about what he meant by that but thought a joke may help to lighten the tone. "Honestly, I thought the first thing you'd do is go after Snape,  _then_ weep at my bedside."

He sent her a nasty look. "Don't joke about that. Greasy git should've gotten a right beating for what he did to you."

"In all fairness, it was an accident and I provoked him. And Lily says she hates him now which is punishment enough for him. I have a feeling she'll let him off after a while though, but one more slip up and he'll really be dead to her. It's like a game of that muggle game, ping-pong, back and forth of him fucking up and her forgiving him."

"I don't think you're using that analogy correctly but nice try."

They drifted off into light conversation, leaving Sirius' sudden outburst behind them until dinner time rolled around and Bernadette was left on her own once again. Everyone else in the Hospital Wing had left earlier in the day so she'd begun to feel especially lonely, Madam Pomfrey wasn't exactly the world's best conversationalist. She ate her dinner in silence, bland mashed potatoes and unseasoned chicken (she was pretty sure the nurse had just grabbed the first thing she saw) and wished she could be out having adventures under the moonlight like her friends or at least eating something good.

She lay in her painfully stark white bed, unable to fall asleep for hours, knowing there was no point in sneaking up to the Astronomy Tower as Sirius wouldn't be there that night. She tossed and turned until the blankets were left sprawled on the ground and both pillows tossed to the other side of the room and stared blankly at the full moon which hung like a great luminous pearl against the inky sky.

Bernadette still lay awake as the sun began to flood the room with warm tones even if she couldn't see it behind the coarse forest. It was then that she heard Madam Pomfrey leave her quarters which was attached to the Hospital Wing and slip quietly out the door. She assumed she was going to pick up Remus after his transformation and she felt a bit less bored. At least he could retell that night's escapades and entertain her a bit.

Her mind went to Henry. He had spent a considerable chunk of his life stuck in a hospital bed and she couldn't even handle a few measly days. Although frail and weak in his sister's eyes, Henry had been incredibly strong. She'd never once seen him shed a tear while sick. When it came to confrontation with William, it was different.   
~~

**-June 1968-**

_"You can't hide in there forever!" Bernadette pressed her face up to the crack in the wardrobe door. "Whether you like it or not, he's here for the next two months and we have to put up with him!"_

_Christopher appeared at her shoulder. "Will he still not come out?"_

_"No," the eight year old sighed, pulling anxiously on her braids. "I don't exactly blame him, though. None of us really look forward to his visits home, if we're lucky he'll stay_ _at_ _a friend's house for a few weeks again."_

_"Well he's gonna be of age soon and then he might move out."_

_"I hope so." She knocked on the wooden door again. "Please come out, Henry! Gran made shortbread! I know it's your favourite and I won't bring you up a bit if you don't get out!"_

_She heard muffled sniffling and shuffling through the door until it was cracked open a millimetre. Wide, watery eyes stared back at her with an amount of fear a five year old should never feel._

_"Me and Chrissy promise we won't let William hurt you again." She whispered to him, trying to convince herself as well as him. "We'll lock the door at night and during the day we can go out and play in the forest. He'll never find us there so we'll be safe. Please, Henry."_

_The door finally creaked open on rusty hinges and Henry hesitantly ventured out of his little sanctuary. "Pinky promise?"_

_"What kind of sister would I be if I didn't pinky promise?" She scoffed, looping her larger finger around his and prayed silently that she could uphold her vow to him._  
~~

Bernadette was barely aware of someone whispering her name but broke out of her memories and turned over to face the occupant in the bed next to her. Remus Lupin stared tiredly back at her, skin pale and clammy and sporting long claw marks down his neck but still he managed to smile at her.

"Feeling any better?"

"Loads, I wish she'd just release me now otherwise people are gonna start thinking I'm weak enough to be taken down by that scrawny little weasel." She rolled her eyes, glad when this prompted a laugh from him. "Get up to any shenanigans tonight?"

"I don't remember much of it but it's always painful." His hand unconsciously touched his neck. "Still, having the other guys there really helps and I feel much calmer, it's easier to control the wolf."

The brunette frowned. "I wish I could help you guys somehow."

"You already have," he chuckled faintly. "That Dittany plant of yours really helps. I brew it into a tea and drink it the mornings around the full moon. It helps loads, you don't need to do anything else, Etta. Really."

"Yeah but I want to!" She dragged her fingers through her knotted hair. "You're my friend, Moony, I wish I could be out there with you guys, having adventures and causing mischief."

"You do enough of that during the day."

"I suppose." She paused, thinking hard. "What if I kept watch?"

His brow furrowed in confusion. "What do you mean?"

A grin stretched the length of her chapped lips. "I could hide under the Invisibility Cloak with the map and stop people from leaving the castle and risking an encounter with a werewolf. It's brilliant, keeps you and your secret safer!"

"No way," Remus shook his head. "Sirius would never agree to that."

"Why not?" Her voice took on an edge, annoyed as to why he was suggesting Sirius didn't want her help.

"He'll think you'd get hurt, doesn't wanna put you in risk of me."

She supposed it made sense but surely Sirius trusted both her and Remus enough not to cause an accident? He was usually one of the most careless people she'd ever met but for some reason, only when it came to her, he decided to become her second, over-protective, mother.

"Bullshit!" She spoke a bit too loudly and was shushed by Madam Pomfrey for about the fiftieth time that day. "You'd never hurt me, Remus Lupin! I know you and you're too much of a softie to ever do something like that!"

"What about the other guy?"

"He'd be so stunned and transfixed by my beauty I'd have enough time to run away."

Heels clacked against the stone floor and Bernadette wondered why Madam Pomfrey was still wearing her heeled boots which looked to pinch uncomfortably at the toes. "Bed. Both of you. Now."

"Sorry, Poppy dear, just some late night chit-chats. We'll pop off to sleep now, don't you worry about it." Flashing the nurse a tired but rather smug smirk she turned over onto her other side and began to pretend to snore very loudly, relishing in the sounds of Remus holding back laughter and Madam Pomfrey huffing indignantly before storming away.

It didn't take long before her acting became real, a warm dark blanket enveloping her slowly into a peaceful, dreamless sleep and she became deaf to Remus' chuckling and blind to the now rising sun.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's something about this chapter that I feel just...lacks something. Like I have no clue but I feel like quite a bit of it is unnecessary even though I had to put in these scenes for relationship progression and to set up the whole scene where Lily finally ends her friendship with Snape and all that shit. In other news I'm tired and stressed and don't know if I should dress up for the Halloween disco or not.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsAliar


	18. Chapter Seventeen: The April Fool

**-April 1st 1976-**

Every year on the first day of April, the Marauders took it upon themselves to make a prank so elaborate, it put all others to shame. Teachers feared this day, Filch locked himself in his office, students whispered excitedly as it grew closer, wondering what spectacular plan they could watch unfold. These pranks took months of planning and preparation, had the boys put that much effort into their studies, they'd be celebrated geniuses.

This annual grandiose prank of theirs was so top secret, not even Bernadette knew what it was, in fact they seemed to be trying extra hard to keep her from finding out. Whenever she approached their closely knitted group, usually huddled over rolls of parchment, they'd leap apart, stuffing everything into one of their bags or once, down Peter's pants as they knew she wouldn't dare reach down there.

When April first finally came around, Bernadette woke up bright and early, happy that it was April Fools and devastated that she had Astronomy first thing and a double Potions and History of Magic lessons to sit through. She was still tired from the practical Astronomy lesson that night (or rather morning) in which she'd spent the full fifty minutes throwing small objects at the back of Sirius' head to try and get him to divulge her the top secret information of their prank as entered the Great Hall with dark circles and a bird's nest for hair.

"You look rough." Connie had commented unhelpfully through a mouthful of hash browns.

"Really? I didn't have a clue." She bit angrily into a slice of toast she'd robbed from Connie's plate which was smothered in jam. "Is this strawberry? What the fuck? Raspberry is obviously superior."

Marlene joined them at the Hufflepuff table and bit back a laugh. "You look like Hagrid."

"Well you look like Professor Slughorn wearing a blonde wig." Just as she'd spoken, two hands placed themselves over her eyes, obstructing her view.

"Guess who."

A tiny smile pulled at her lips, his hands were cold against her skin and his voice was croaky. Clearly he'd only just recently woken up. "Come off it, you know I know it's you Sirius!"

He pulled his hands away and squeezed himself in between her and a displeased Lily. "It was worth a try. Any plans for April Fools?"

"Thats for me to know and for you to find out." She sipped slyly at the mug of tea Connie had placed in front of her. "What about you guys? Finally gonna let me in on this huge prank you've been planning?"

He shook his head. "What prank? Did you forget that we were banned last year after the Fanged Frisbee Fiasco in the Great Hall?"

She rolled her eyes. "I'm not stupid, I know you guys have something planned, the whole school does. Side note, the Fanged Frisbee Fiasco was the single most chaotic breakfast I've ever seen in my life and the fact that the teachers didn't have the sense to understand that is beyond me."

"We honestly don't have anything pl-"

A loud clatter came from the Slytherin table. Bernadette looked over in curiosity, wondering with bated breath if this was the kickstart to the day's mischief. Severus Snape was sat towards the end of the table, clutching at his stomach, his usually pallid face a bright crimson and his plate having been knocked to the ground. He was breathing very heavily as though he'd just run a marathon and the redness of his face was turning into a sickly green.

Lily stood up in concern, noting his distress immediately and began to walk over. "Sev? You okay? Do you need to go to the Hospital Wing?"

She placed a tentative hand on his shoulder and just as he turned to look at her, he threw up all down the front of her uniform. Most of the students had been alerted to this and stared on in silent disgust until Bernadette let slip a tiny giggle before slapping her hand over her mouth. She really didn't want to admit that the look of absolute horror painted across his face was rather humorous since Lily would kill her but there was no denying the fact.

James Potter exploded into laughter at the Gryffindor table, obvious in his hatred towards Snape. Sirius and Peter were the next to fail at holding back their mirth. It wasn't long until the majority of the Hall were rolling on the floor laughing.

Lily did not look pleased. She'd clenched and unclenched her fists repeatedly in anger and the tips of her ears were as scarlet as her hair. Severus was spluttering apologies at her but she did not respond. She grasped him by his wrist and began to drag him out of the Hall, laughter following them like a malevolent ghost.

"That was disgusting." Bernadette for some reason couldn't wipe the smile off her face. "If he wasn't such a dick to me, I might have felt bad for him. He was so humiliated!"

"That was kinda the aim." Sirius finally ceased his laughter, wiping away a stray tear. "After what he did to you, we wanted to make him suffer. I mean, we had to scrap our other plans but it was so worth it just to see the look on his face. What a tosser."

"That was you lot?" She snapped her head towards him, face softening. She rested her head on his shoulder with a content smile of gratitude. "You guys are too good to me."   
~~

The vomit in the Great Hall was not the end Severus Snape's torture on April first of 1976. In Astronomy, his book had been enchanted to flap incessantly around his head, sometimes suddenly dropping mid-air to hit him hard. Not even the professor could undo the enchantment. In Ancient Runes, every time he tried to say something, it came out backwards. Even Lily had laughed at that. By double Potions, he was ready to sink into a hole to never be judged by society again when his cauldron continued to squawk loudly every time he was within a two meter radius of it.

It was obvious who was targeting him, those infuriating Gryffindors had been laughing the hardest and loudest out of the classes. Not to mention that they had a clear motive, he'd hurt their friend and hadn't even been punished. Of course they were mad at him, Black had even threatened him right after the incident, nobody else would dare it.

Normally, Severus would retaliate, but this time he couldn't help but feel like it was warranted. He hadn't meant to hurt her but he still did it and if it meant his guilt was eased, he was okay suffering a bit. Still, he was positive that she knew their secret and it was her own fault she made him angry.

He watched her giggling with one of her friends as his cauldron screeched a " _Thou art as loathsome as a toad_ " in a very high-pitched squeal. Slughorn wasn't doing much to help, profusely complimenting Lily on her potion which was turning the perfect shade of lilac, just as the book said it should and refused to acknowledge what was going on on the other side of the classroom.

With a sigh he continued to crush up the porcupine quills, ignoring the instructions in the book in favour of his own method. He had already perfected every one of their fifth year potions and had bought the one for their sixth. It was in that book he wrote down all his spells and corrections to the textbook.

He stole another sneaky glance at Lily Evans. She met his gaze and smiled sympathetically at him. He supposed he could endure the childish insults and cruel pranks if it meant Lily didn't hate him for retaliating.   
~~

"That was so funny!" She'd confessed to Peter and Sirius as they made their way to lunch. "I didn't even feel bad for him! Is that awful?"

"Are you kidding?" Peter asked incredulously. "He's been nothing but horrible to you, of course you can take delight in his suffering."

Her smile faltered as her mind flashed to her redhead friend. "Lily isn't happy about it, she knows it's you guys and it certainly won't be earning James any points with her. Honestly, for a guy who claims to want to marry her, he sure is good at making her hate him."

"I thought she said she was done with that greasy git?" Sirius scrunched up his nose in distaste.

"She forgave him after he waited outside Gryffindor Tower all night, trying to apologise to her. I thought it was kinda stalkerish but she saw it as him being genuinely remorseful." They entered the Great Hall and made a beeline for the mounds of food. "She was still a bit miffed off though until he 'apologised' to me."

Sirius took a long swig of pumpkin juice she was sure he'd slipped a bit of Firewhiskey into. "Please tell me you gave him an earful about how it's a bit late for apologies."

She shook her head, eyes following Daniel as he entered the Hall with her brother in tow. "No, I accepted it to keep Lily happy. She needs as much as she can get, her sister is being a bitch and its not exactly easy to be muggle-born these days with maniacs like You-Know-Who and his little Death Minions running about murdering people. If Snape keeps her happy, I'm content with ignoring him."

Peter visibly shuddered at the mention of the man who'd been going on terror sprees every other day. He leaned close to her and whispered angrily. "You can't talk about him so freely, Etta! He has eyes in the school you know! Loads of Slytherins have already joined his ranks, it's scary!"

"I know that, Wormy," she poked his nose playfully, trying to diffuse the sudden tension surrounding the trio. "But I'm not scared, Mulciber and all his buddies will already be out for my blood, what's one other blood-crazy, purist, asshole?"

Sirius barked out a laugh, almost choking on his drink. "I like the way you think, Nettle."

"You're idiots, the both of you." Peter shook his head despairingly, forlornly eating a sandwich.

After that, the conversation took a lighter turn as they resumed their discussion about April Fools. Bernadette hoped her prank had actually worked, she hasn't had any classes on the fifth floor that day so she wasn't sure but if it had gone according to plan, there would have been complete chaos until a teacher stepped in and reversed the spell that essentially turned the floor into a giant trampoline. She hadn't planned anything else, not possessing the time or the energy to execute an elaborate spectacle of mischief hence she hoped the one thing she'd actually bothered to do worked.

"Hey, Bernadette?" She froze, her spoon which had been held mid-air fell back into her bowl and sent splatters of tomato soup flying put in all directions.

"Daniel!" She replied, probably a bit too enthusiastically. "What can I do for you, my friend?"

"Quick question," He wedged himself between Bernadette and Sirius who glared at the boy in annoyance. "Were you the one who turned the fifth floor into a bouncy house?"

A wide smile stretched across her lips as she tried to wipe the soup off her jumper with a napkin Peter had handed her. "Uh, yeah. How'd you know it was me?"

His brown eyes glistened in the warm sunlight which was flooding through the large windows. "You did the exact same prank last year on the Quidditch Pitch."

She tried to act cool, pretending that the fluttering in her stomach did not exist. "Well, was it amusing?"

"Very, two first years were catapulted into the suits of armour and got yelled at by that portrait of all those old monks and my friend Emily bounced too high and ended up knock McGonagall over! Best thing I've seen all day!"

Bernadette felt her heart soar, nothing was wrong with the world. Daniel White, the most perfect boy to ever grace the earth, said that she (technically her prank but same thing) had made his day. She could now die happy knowing that she'd made him laugh.

"Good for you but we were kinda in the middle of a conversation so...beat it, four-eyes." Sirius drawled from behind Daniel, his usually rather handsome face twisted into a nasty snarl.

Daniel, taken aback by the sudden hostility, complied and stood up from the bench, head tilted in confusion. "Okay, no hard feelings, man. We'll hang out some other time, right, Bernadette?"

"Definitely!"

As soon as he was out of earshot, sitting soundly at the Ravenclaw table, the Hufflepuff whacked Sirius round the back of his head. He held his injury and glared at her. "What was that for?"

"Are you taking the piss?" She growled out furiously. "My crush since second year willingly comes over to talk to me and wants to hang out and you just scared him off! What the fuck, dude? Not cool."

He rolled his eyes, sourly biting off a chunk from a bread roll. "He's a total prick, obviously you're too good for him."

She stared at him as though he'd suddenly sprouted another head and begun speaking German. "Me? Too good for Daniel White? Not in a million years, I'm lucky he even remembers my name! He's the sweetest, most handsome, most intelligent, most witty boy I've ever met and you might've just ruined my chances of ever getting him to miraculously fall in love with me!"

"Whatever."

Peter glanced awkwardly between the two of them before deciding it wasn't worth risking his life and kept his mouth shut, quietly eating his lunch.  
~~

Sirius remained in a bad mood for the rest of the day, not even cracking a smile when James hit Snape with a curse from behind which made his hair grow fifteen feet. Bernadette had quickly forgotten about being embarrassed about what happened at lunch and had taken to whispering feverishly in the back of History of Magic, deep in conversation about muggle politics with Remus.

The dark haired Gryffindor boy watched her bitterly, cheek propped up on hand and sighing very loudly every few seconds. James, who had been unlucky enough to be sat beside the overdramatic boy, had quickly caught on to something neither of the two had noticed.

Ripping a piece of parchment in half, he scribbled down a few words and slid the note over to Sirius.

_Are you jealous of Remus or something?_   
_No offence, but it's not a good look on you._

Sirius skimmed it with his eyes frown deepening before he scrawled out a reply.

_No, it's about this prick Daniel in the_   
_year above us._

_Oh, the one Etta likes?_

_Unfortunately, yes. He thinks he's so great_   
_with his perfect hair and his perfect skin and_   
_his perfect grades. Ugh, kill me now._

_You have it so bad, it's not even funny. It's a_   
_wonder she doesn't know , you're so obvious._

_You're one to talk, Mr I-Love-Lily-Evans,_   
_screaming it from the rooftops._

_Piss off_

The bell finally rang, signalling the end of classes for the day. Slumbering students groggily gathered their stuff while others practically sprinted out of the room, eager to go outside while it was still bright. Bernadette strolled through the corridor, one arm linked tightly with Connie's, her bag swinging from the other.

"Why do you think Sirius is mad at me?" She voiced innocently, shoes tapping against the stone rhythmically.

"I don't think he's mad at  _you_ , Etta." Connie didn't look like she wanted to talk about the annoying Gryffindor who kept stealing her best friend. "He's just jealous because you were totally fawning all over Daniel at lunch. I was sat with Mary all the way over at the Ravenclaw table and we saw it, that's how obvious you were."

Cheeks tinted red, Bernadette mumbled irritably. "He has no reason to be jealous though, it's not like I'm ditching him to hang out with Daniel, I'm not replacing him as my male best friend."

Connie sighed. "Jesus Christ, you are the most oblivious woman I've ever met."

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Nothing, Etta. You'll find out eventually." 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> But of a filler but I find that pacing is often an issue of mine so chapters like this I feel really help the story to feel more like a natural progression of time. Did that make any sense? Probably not but oh well. In other news, it was my friend's birthday today so we went to town and had so much fucking fun. I'm also helping out with my school's open day tomorrow and we have an urban run on Sunday so I've got a busy weekend too.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	19. Chapter Eighteen: Study-Time Blues

**-April 1976-**

"This is pointless!" Bernadette hurled her Charms homework across the room, narrowly missing a pair of first years playing Exploding Snap. "Why can't I just happily fail my O.W.L.s and be done with it?"

"Because, unfortunately, becoming a Magizoologist requires at least five O.W.L.s." Connie replied plainly, not even looking up from her Potions essay. "Last time I checked, that's the only profession you're really interested in."

The brunette couldn't stop herself from pouting, crossing the room to grab her book. "I hate it when you're right...which is most of the time which is really sucky for me."

She threw herself back down on the plush couch and glared at her homework. As they got closer to the O.W.L.s,  the more work teachers seemed to be giving them. Bernadette didn't see the point as it was only taking away time she could have spent studying for said examinations (even though she wouldn't have even if she had no other obligations) and all it sufficed in doing was making her incredibly stressed.

"Oh, I forgot to mention, Lily invited us down to the library to study earlier, wanna go?"

Bernadette scoffed and was ready to reply with a firm no until she remembered Lily's expertise in Charms. "Why not? We can put Mary on snack duty again and hope she doesn't get attacked this time."

The pair left the Hufflepuff common room, book bags swinging from their shoulders and quills poking out from behind their ears for safe-keeping. The Hogwarts library wasn't too far from the Hufflepuff common room, being on the first floor but despite its easy access, most preferred to study elsewhere due to the ill-tempered librarian, Madam Pince. She made life living hell wherever she went (which was pretty much limited to just the library and the Great Hall) for students. She didn't tolerate talking, eating, laughing, sneezing, whispering or scurrying in her library so naturally, she despised Bernadette Sommers who quite enjoyed every one of those actions.

"Hello Irma!" She greeted the woman loudly, prompting and annoyed shush and hard glare.

Had Madam Prince not always been present, the library would have been an amazing place. It was a huge room with floor to ceiling windows which kept it well-lit and had tall bookshelves covering almost every wall. Dark mahogany tables were arranged neatly between each section, each adorned with a single lamp for the winter months when the sun set as early as four in the afternoon.

Lily sat at one of these tables, far in the back, out of Madam Pince's eagle eye and her earshot with Marlene, Mary, Alice and her boyfriend who Bernadette was pretty sure was called Frank. She waved over the two Hufflepuffs and tossed a few wrapped toffees their way.

"Careful opening them, if Prince hears she'll have a fit." She whispered, glancing nervously in the direction of the librarian's desk.

"Did you have any clue about that Charms homework?" Marlene asked desperately. "Lily won't let me copy her and I can't figure it won't for the life of me."

"Don't have a clue," Bernadette sighed, dumping her own copy of the book down on the table. "That's the whole reason I came up here, thought you guys might know. Evidently, you do not."

The two girls exchanged a despairing look before quickly turning pleading eyes onto Lily. The prefect rolled her eyes. "If either of you bothered to pay attention in class, maybe we wouldn't have this problem."

"Whatever, Alice, can you help us?" The sixth year looked up at the sound of her name, startled. "You should know, you wanna be an Auror so you have to be good at Charms."

Alice Fortescue was really bad at saying no. She didn't like disappointing people so she'd agree to almost anything. This trait had gotten her into many sticky situations but it had also garnered her many friends. Bernadette and Marlene were two of these friends and it felt a lot worse to disappoint friends.

"Sure."

The more Alice droned on about correct wand movement and pronunciation, the less Bernadette could concentrate. It was like she was grasping onto a metal pole, dangling over a never-ending abyss of confusion and her grip was slipping. She was not interested in Charms, she'd learnt all the basic household stuff by watching her mother, she didn't need to know anything else therefore she didn't see a reason to pay attention in the class. It was so boring compared to the other subjects as Professor Flitwick had a very strict policy on Bernadette not being allowed to cast any explosive spells in his classroom after the Bombarda Incident of '73.

She watched Alice's lips moving in whispers and knew what words she was saying but couldn't make any sense of it. Lily had eventually become so frustrated by Bernadette requesting the explanation again and again that she took her parchment herself and began to write down the homework in her best impression of the brunette's messy handwriting.

Satisfied that she no longer had any work to do, Bernadette went to sit under the table with Mary so as to gorge on the food they'd snuck in but Lily snatched her forearm and pulled her back onto the chair with a furious shake of her head.

"At the very least do something useful and study."

There was that word again. Study. She'd been hearing it non-stop the whole year from professors and friends and her parents so she'd quickly grown to hate it with all her mind and body. Still, she knew there was no outcome which involved her not studying and her not getting viciously mailed to death by Lily Evans so she reluctantly pulled out her Transfiguration book and began to read about the origins of the man who'd invented the Switching Spell.

It was hard to concentrate on the words, her mind was outside by the Black Lake, skipping stones while a warm breeze blew her hair around. It was getting longer, her hair, she was probably due for a cut but didn't have any motivation to do so. Sure it made playing Quidditch a hell of a lot easier but it always stuck up a bit at the back and...what was she doing? Oh yeah, studying.

She wondered what Sirius was doing. Probably not studying, him and James got perfect grades despite having never opened a book in their lives, it was so horribly unfair. They were most likely getting up to some form of mischief, either way, it was definitely more interesting than what Bernadette was doing.

She read the same paragraph again, not even processing the words. She was hopeless, a lost cause. Might as well just give up and take over the farm from her dad or something.

"Hey, Etta?" Connie poked her in the side. "Don't you have your career counselling thing with Sprout tomorrow?"

"Shit."

She had cursed a bit louder than she'd intended and heard the soft clicking of Madam Pince's shoes on the wooden floor as she stalked over. The other girls hastily hid their food so as not to suffer Bernadette's future fate. The librarian stared Bernadette down, mentally torturing the young girl in her head.

"Get out, Ms Sommers, one more incident like this and I'll have to alert your head of house."

"Fine, I'm going, I'm going." She stuffed her books back into her bag and took her now completed Charms homework from Lily. "Bye guys, see you at dinner."

They waved silent goodbyes to their friend as she was ushered away by Madam Pince who looked for for murder. She supposed it wasn't such a bad thing, being kicked out, it gave her an excuse not to study and she could pay a visit to her favourite half-giant.

That April was particularly hot so Bernadette had been able to break out her summer closet a bit earlier than expected, donning a loose, floral print dress, a pale blue which perfectly matched the sky that day. Once she was outside on the grounds, she slipped off her shoes and felt the grass between her toes. Skipping past the Training Grounds, she spotted a group of troublemaking Gryffindors lounging around the beech tree by the lake.

"Hey guys, whatcha doing?"

Sirius, who'd been sprawled on the ground, arms rested over his eyes to block out the sun which he's down mercilessly in their skin, looked up eagerly at the sound of her voice.

"Thank god you're here, Nettle! I'm so bored!"

The other boys shared a knowing look as Sirius grasped at the end of her dress. "Woah, someone's clingy today. Can't stay long though, I'm gonna pay a visit to Hagrid."

"No!" He whined, throwing himself back onto the grass. "I can't believe you're leaving me with these three idiots, okay maybe Moony isn't an idiot but the other two are! Please stay, I'd love you forever."

She laughed at his antics. "You'll love me forever regardless of whether I stay or not. If you're so bored, go do something then, get a detention, put a cow on the roof, sneak out, whatever you want. There's nothing keeping you here."

"You don't understand, Nettle," James piped up, wiping his glasses on his shirt. "He's bored but he also doesn't want to do anything that requires energy."

"Hey!" Sirius smacked James' arm. "That's my nickname, get your own!"

"Whatever," She swung her shoes back and forth in her hand. "Good luck relieving your boredom, bye!"

As soon as the chipper brunette was out of earshot the other boys burst into laughter. James was clutching his stomach and practically rolling around, Remus was snickering into his had and Peter was wheezing. Sirius scowled at them, not looking forward to the oncoming bought of teasing.

"Did you hear him?" James wiped a tear from his eye. " _'That's my nickname!'_. You have it so bad for her! The only person who doesn't know is Bernadette!"

Remus set down the book he'd been reading, mirth glittering in his eyes. "This isn't nearly as funny as the time he literally took her on a date and she didn't realise though."

"No! No!" Peter had clearly remembered another story. "What about the time he cancelled a date with another girl just to hang out with her!"

"You guys are dicks." He pouted, tugging at the grass. "I don't like Bernadette like that! We're just friends and that's all we'll ever be."

"If you don't like her like that then why do you look so sad saying it?" James' tone took a more serious edge.

Sirius' breath caught in his throat. He didn't really know how he felt about Bernadette. "I don't look sad, that's just my face! And besides, even if I did like her, I wouldn't have a chance, she's all over this Ravenclaw nerd. He's obviously leading her on but she thinks he's the greatest thing to happen since sliced bread. Just to note, he's not!"

"Someone's bitter." Remus whistled. "Maybe you should take some time and actually try and sort out your feelings because, no offence, you're a mess."   
~~

Bernadette gushed about how much she wanted a Crup to Hagrid, none the wiser to the boys by the lake talking about her. She supposed Crups were really just dogs with forked tails and yet they were so much more fascinating than that. For starters, they'd eat almost anything, looked remarkably similar to Jack Russel Terriers (one of the best kinds of dogs in Bernadette's own opinion) and even had a cute little forked tail even if it was required by law to have this severed in case ever discovered by muggles. To put it simply, she wanted a pet to make her feel less empty inside.

Hagrid didn't have much interest in the creatures, they were neither ferocious or enough of a life hazard to intrigue him very much. He still thought they were cute and more interesting than say Streelers which was something. He listened patiently as she rambled on, plucking a huge pheasant he'd caught earlier.

"They're just the best animals, you know? Even muggles agree, they worship dogs and a Crup is basically a dog but better." The untouched rock cake sat next to her as she leaned back in her seat, done with her rant. "Anyways, how's your day been?"

He chuckled. "Fine, didn' do much 'sides go huntin'. Wha' bout yers?"

She rolled her eyes and groaned. "Study. But that only lasted like fifteen minutes before I was kicked out. Ran into Sirius and the boys on my way here though so that cheered me up."

Hagrid nodded as though he knew something she didn't. "Ah, yeah, Sirius. Ya sure talk bout him a lot."

Bernadette felt an odd squeezing in her chest and furrowed her brows. "I do? Well he is one of my best friends so I suppose I might talk about him a lot."

"Friend, sure."   
~~

Bernadette's mind was lingering on Hagrid's words for hours after she'd left. People often teased her about her friendship with Sirius, she wasn't sure why, they were just friends. Pretty much everyone knew about her unrequited love for Daniel so they had no reason to presume her and Sirius were doing anything other than being good mates.

Later, she found resell in the Astronomy Tower as she did so many nights but she hadn't lit any cigarettes. Something about it didn't feel right when she was alone up there. Disliking the silence, she hummed to herself, still mulling over her previous conversation. It just didn't make any sense to her. A part of her wondered if she had just been too oblivious to notice some rumours about her or something but she was sure her friends would tell her if that was the case.

Her tune died on her lips as she sighed heavily, cold night in nipping playfully at her nose. She hugged her arms closer to herself, fingers absentmindedly fiddling with the thick wool of her jumper. Her mind flashed to Henry as it so often did when she was left alone with her thoughts. She really hated how it did that, forcing her to relive painful memories or happy ones turned sad seeing as he was no longer there.

"You look pensive tonight."

"Jesus, scared the life out of me!" She glanced at him as he sat down next to her. "You're a right devil for sneaking, Padfoot, I never hear you coming."

"What can I say? I'm like Jimmy Bond."

"James Bond I think."

"I think Jimmy would suit him better, bring a certain lightness to the movies." He lit a cigarette with the tip of his wand and she mirrored his actions. "I watched some with Peter last year and I thought they were just dragging it out a bit."

She peered at him through a curtain of wispy smoke. "Really, I would've thought you'd like all the motorcycles and stuff, they seem like your kinda stuff."

His eyes brightened. "They were my favourite thing, besides the girls of course! As soon as I'm out of school I'm getting a motorcycle."

"You should get a sidecar so I can tag along." She giggled, imagining how she'd ruin his cool, tough guy image by sitting the the sidecar like a complete loser. "You're too deep into this friendship now, Sirius Black, there's no returns policy on me. You're stuck with me forever."

She swung her legs back and forth, the metal buckle on her shoes glinting in the moonlight before clouds blew over, obstructing the slim crescent from view.

"Did you hear me complaining?" He rested his head on her shoulder, shaggy hair tickling her chin. "I don't mind being stuck with you, Nettle."

The first drop fell on her shoe, like the first note of a song, a small melody of pitter patters following steadily after it. The rain brought a sudden coldness, the pair huddling closer together for warmth. There was a calmness in the rain, a serenity which brought them peace. The light drizzle grew heavier and the droplets larger until the sound of them on the roof drowned out all else. A flash of lightning illuminated the sky and right after a clap of thunder.

Bernadette had always loved storms. She usually preferred the warm summer months but storms reminded her of the nights Henry would crawl into her bed, scared of the thunder and she'd sing him to sleep. Sometimes, all her siblings would join her on particularly stormy nights and they'd wake up the next morning in a comforting heap.

"It's like the heavens are telling us to go to bed." Sirius was close enough that she could just hear his whisper over the rain.

"But we won't." She chuckled as softly as the initial drizzle. "We're not ones to do what we're told."

"Right you are, Nettle, right you are."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Filler filler chicken...dinner. Is it bad that I'm mostly excited for when Bernadette leaves school and starts fighting in the war because I have so many plans it's not even funny. Unedited because I have a life (and a bunch of projects due) and just really dislike this chapter. Ah well, my friends and I are planning on writing a collaborative novel and hopefully get it published but we'll see.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	20. Chapter Nineteen: The Calm Before

**-May 1976-**

"I can't believe she's completely forgiven him already." Marlene complained at breakfast, sourly picking at her eggs and bacon as she glared at her friend who was talking with Snape by the huge double doors. "He's just going to hurt her again, why can't she see that?"

"Because she still has hope of his redemption." Bernadette barely glanced up from the Divination homework she was doing very last minute considering the class started in fifteen minutes. "He'd have to do something really horrible to completely push her away like kill someone."

"He very well almost killed you and she didn't seem to mind that."

Mary downed the last dregs of her tea. "Don't worry, karma will get him eventually. I know you guys don't believe in that stuff but he'll get what's coming to him eventually."

"I wish it'd be sooner rather than-"

"Ha! Suck my dick!" Bernadette triumphantly threw down her quill and stared smugly down at her bullshit predictions for the week. "Sorry, continue."

"-Later." Marlene finished sourly, lips pursed. "Real eloquent language there, Etta."

"I know, I have a gift." She grinned cheekily.  
~~

The second weekend in May always saw the second last match of Quidditch season. Everyone in the school chose their colours of support, either yellow and black or green and silver, donning them head to toe. The majority of the school was noticeably in support of Hufflepuff as Slytherin hadn't exactly had the best reputation as of late. Their keeper had dropped out of school the previous week and many speculated it was to join his parents in the ranks of the Dark Lord. Naturally, people were scared.

After wishing Josephine good luck, Bernadette began to head to their section of the changing rooms for the strategy meeting she was already late for but found a certain dark-haired boy waiting outside, bright yellow scarl hanging down to his feet and a rolled up banner beside him.

"Bit hot for a scarf, isn't it?"

He glanced up at the sound of her voice. "I suppose but I don't have very many yellow things in my closet, it's not my colour so I had to steal this from Remus."

She laughed and stopped beside him, reaching up to playfully pinch his cheek. "Aw, you do care! And I, for one, think that yellow is totally your colour."

He took her wrist up in his hand and pulled it away from his cheek. "I just wanted to say...um...good luck."

"Thanks, man." She didn't think it was the right moment to question his strange behaviour. "After the match do you wanna come back to the common room for the party? I can totally sneak you in and nobody will mind."

"No it's okay, I've got plans." He avoided her stare, fixing his eyes on his shoes.

"What kind of plans?" She teased him, nudging his shoulder playfully.

"A date."

"Really?" She raised her eyebrows in mild surprise, Sirius hadn't been on a date in ages as far as she knew, not in months. "With who? Come on, I wanna see what girl has got you so flustered."

"Um..."

Sirius Black was miraculously saved from completely humiliating himself as Jane poked her head out of the changing room and demanded that Bernadette come in. Groaning loudly, Bernadette bid a hasty goodbye to her friend and disappeared behind the door with a final exasperated grin. The second she was out of sight, the boy buried his face in his hands, cheeks hot against his palms and wished the ground would swallow him up.   
~~

**-April 1969-**

_Bernadette had always been rather curious and paired with her knack for winding up in dangerous situations, she became known as the family troublemaker. Christopher once proudly held this title but his choices were always more calculated, less risky and he could do nothing as his little sister seized his crown from atop his head._

_That August was a particularly sunny one, it hadn't rained in just over a week (much to her father's despair) and all the clouds seemed to have gone on holidays, not even wispy trails left after. Despite the good weather, the young girl was in a sour mood. For once it was not because of William, he had moved out the second he'd turned seventeen, it was her other older brother who was the problem that time._

_He'd turned Eleven that summer and had already received his acceptance letter to Hogwarts. Earlier that day they'd gone shopping for his school supplies, Bernadette tagging along because she needed something to get her mind off her little brother who'd been moved to St Mungo's the previous night. Christopher hadn't wasted a single opportunity to rub everything in her face, but what really got on her nerves was how he was waving around his new broom like a trophy. It was beautiful, dark sleek handle, neatly-clipped bristles and was far superior to their family-friendly Bluebottle._

_Christopher had mounted his new possession proudly on the mantel above the fireplace. Had Bernadette not held such regard for brooms, she would've tossed it into the fire. Instead, she had a better idea to get on his nerves. He had yet to actually ride this new broom, their mother had insisted that he'd have to wait till school started and he could take flying classes. This statement had caused the boy to pout and sulk, if Bernadette rode it before he did, he wouldn't stop until at the very least Christmas._

_It was this hope that prompted her to snatch the broom from its mount and to slip quietly out the front door. By that point, the sun was beginning to sink slowly down below the horizon but the evening air was still pleasantly warm against her bare arms._

_Glancing nervously at the windows to make sure her mother wasn't peering out, Bernadette took a deep breath of excitement. She'd never ridden a proper racing broom before, her mother always insisted she'd be hurt or be seen or break the broomstick. Bertha was correct in one of these assumptions._

_Swinging her leg over the broom the nine-year old kicked off the ground and was quite suddenly twelve feet in the air. Gasping giddily, she steadied herself, mentally insisting that it was just like her training broom but faster and a hell of a lot more dangerous._

_It didn't take long before Bernadette was zipping around the house in circles, dizzy but uncaring, both her mother and Christopher down below, shouting angrily for her to come down. Laughing maniacally, she paid them no mind, drawing up to Henry's bedroom window, heart falling slightly when she remembered he was not there but rather in a stiff hospital room. He would've loved to see her creating even more mischief even if he couldn't take part in the fun._

_Pushing the sad thought to the back of her head, the young girl flew up at a sharp angle, arcing over the house and zooming towards the forest, Bertha's voice fading behind her. Night air cool against her skin, leaves brushing against her bare feet, twigs snapping as she darted past. Her speed increased and with a rush of adrenaline, lifted her hands off the handle and let out a holler of triumph._

_Her joy, however, did not last long as she crashed headfirst into a tree, broom splintering into tiny little pieces beneath her and nose dripping with blood._   
_~~_

"A spectacular hit from Sommers!" Flora cried, her dangly golden earrings glinting in the sunlight. "Reyes with the Quaffle! He's gonna make it, folks, his first score this year and-he's dropped it."

The Hufflepuff Chaser flushed red, his reputation for being a shit player only growing worse by the second.

"Smithers doesn't look too happy, she's yelling, not sure what but I don't think it's anything kind. Oh-what's that, Professor? Shit, Wilson scores, ten points to Slytherin."

Jane grew even angrier at this, pushing past Tommy Reyes and streaking down the pitch to try and catch up.Bernadettte passed by her sister who was looking a bit too smug for her liking. It always annoyed her when her siblings got a bit big for their boots and felt it was her responsibility as a concerned sister to take them down a peg or two.

"Hard hit from Sommers, heading straight for baby Sommers! Wild! Close call there, Bernadette is gonna get an earful later on!"

Bernadette knew it probably wasn't a very good game plan to focus all her hitting on her sister but this realisation didn't come to her until after they'd lost the match despite catching the Snitch. Jane was not happy. Face as red as the Hogwarts Express, she later paced the changing rooms, boots clicking on the floor, lips pulled into a tight line. She bore a scary amount of resemblance to a furious McGonagall.

"Tell me," Her voice trembled with pent-up rage. "Why we lost today. Tommy?"

The boy in question stared at the wall across from him in terror, not moving a muscle as though if he didn't, she wouldn't see him.

"Bernadette?"

"Because Tommy can't function under pressure and because Hurst is a shit Beater when I'm not there to assist him."

"And?"

"Because I wasn't there to assist him?"

Jane's face had slowly begun to turn a nasty shade of purple. "I give up!"   
~~

Bernadette, slightly depressed at their loss, did not attend the after-party. Even after losing horrifically, they always wen through with the celebration as it was an excuse to eat shit tons of food and make loads of noise with little to no bother from Professor Sprout. Instead, she slipped out of the common room which was still in full-swing, most uncaring about the almost embarrassing defeat, and let her feet carry her down the halls.

She wasn't too concerned about getting caught, she knew Filch's routine well enough that he was always doing his patrol of the grounds at midnight and prefects had stopped patrolling by eleven. She had a brief conversation with a portrait of some pretty young woman in a fancy ballgown before letting her feet carry her up to the Astronomy Tower.

Sometimes she was baffled by how important that place had come to be to her in the past few months, before it was just a place she used to go to occasionally smoke when she was stressed. She almost laughed at how it had come to mean so much more than that.

Bernadette was surprised upon entering to see a figure already present. "Sirius? What are you doing here? Date didn't go well?"

He glanced at her in alarm before his shoulders sagged. He was disappointed at her lack of irritation that he was going out with another girl. He hadn't really been on a date at all, but she didn't need to know that. "It was fine but she didn't wanna do anything other than talk about our feelings and I think that's more of a fifth date kinda thing."

Bernadette eased herself down beside him, hugging her jumper closer around her body. "That's too bad but you can't expect every girl to just wanna fuck you, Sirius. And I mean that in the kindest way possible."

He opened his mouth as though he was about to say something but then quickly closed it, knowing he'd just look like a stupid git if he told her. He hadn't even told James and they told each other basically everything.

"What is it?" She leaned forwards so she could peer under his curtain of dark hair. "I know you more than you'd like to admit, Sirius, and I know when you have something on your mind. I don't wanna force you to tell me but I think you'll feel better if you do."

He looked at her, her tired eyes which glistened in the moonlight, her deep frown. He didn't like seeing her frown, smiles suited her, they lit up the room, her frown was enough to make it storm. A part of him wanted to tell her, confide in her his fears yet he was terrified that she wouldn't understand. Who was he kidding? It was Bernadette, she was his friend, it wasn't like she'd suddenly start hating him.

"I...I'm worried that I can't love." He didn't want to look her in the eyes, already regretting his choice but was now on a roll and unable to stop. "My upbringing wasn't exactly nurturing. So I...uh...I have these stupid feelings for this girl but I don't have a clue what they are. All my previous relationships have been purely physical and short-lived. I can't say I love this girl when I don't know if I can. Does that make sense?"

He glanced up to meet her stare for a split second. She looked to be deep in thought, processing his words carefully. For a second he was afraid that she would laugh it off and change the subject.

"Well...you love your friends, don't you?" He nodded. "Romantic love is fundamentally the same, you'd do anything for them, you can appreciate their best qualities and understand their worst but you want to...do more than just love them as a friend. I'm not making much sense but that's how Henry described his love for Mr Darcy in 'Pride and Prejudice' and I thought it made sense.

"I haven't known you long, Sirius, but I know that deep down your heart is big and beautiful and full of love. You may not be able to see that, but I can. Even if you can't love someone romantically, doesn't mean you can't love in general. And this girl you may or may not love is incredibly lucky to have someone as amazing as you in her corner."

He looked at her again and his chest ached. He still wasn't sure if what was paining him so was love but he did know that it was dangerous, he was falling fast and hard into a bottomless pit and he had to find a way out. He could say with confidence that he loved Bernadette Sommers as a friend but he also wanted to say with that much confidence that he loved her more than that.

He shook his head, flashing her a carefree smile and internally insisted that he was just confused as he'd never had such a close female friend before. He could never imagine himself settling down with a wife and a family, he couldn't love like that, even if she thought he could.

"Thanks...wanna raid the kitchen?"

"Is that even a question?"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so tired all the time and I wanna take a nap. I went to the open day for the university I wanna go to even though I won't be going for ages. Pretty sure I wanna do a Bachelor of Arts degree in English and maybe New Media and Cultural Studies or maybe Sociology but I might also do Law Plus because of all the jobs and the salary.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar  
> (P.s I feel like the whole talk between Sirius and Bernadette at the end about love is a bit strange so I'll probably rewrite it later so just ignore it for now.)


	21. Chapter Twenty: Charming

**-May 1976-**

Friday was probably most students favourite days as it marked the end of the week. Also lots of professors didn't give out homework on Fridays as that far in the week they were too exhausted to even bother anymore. As the day progressed, the young students became visibly more and more twitchy, anxious for their last class to end so they could go have fun with their friends.

Usually, Bernadette's Defence Against the Dark Arts class on a Friday was full of young people unable to concentrate as it was during sixth period and their last class of the day. However, one rather hot day in May of 1976, their Professor that year easily managed to capture all of their attention for once.

"Usually this protection charm is not taught to sixth years," Professor Thames, a rather small and spindly looking woman with eyes too big for her face, sped into the classroom, keys jangling against her bony hips. "But considering our circumstances...Professor Dumbledore requested that I teach all of you the Patronus Charm."

Whispers broke out among the students. Most had heard of the only spell which was able to save them from the Dementors, ghostly hooded creatures who guarded the wizard prison, Azkaban. They were notorious for their ability to suck all the happiness out of you and if they kissed you, to leave you nothing but an empty shell. The Patronus took shape of an animal which was a reflection of the person casting it. Fundamentally it was a spirit guardian which was the only thing which could best a Lethifold or a Dementor. They were also a super cool party trick.

"Fair warning," Professor Thames pushed her thick glasses (which made her eyes look even more bug-like) further up her nose. "To cast this spell is incredibly difficult and can only be performed by the most skilled witches and wizards. We'll be lucky today if anyone is even able to conjure a non-corporeal patronus by the end of the lesson. Now can we please push the desks back?"

There was an ecstasy of fumbling as the students rushed to clear the room, eager to try and overcome the challenge they were faced with. As the class was shared with the Gryffindors, Bernadette and Marlene had stuck by each other while Connie and Lily tried and failed to stop them from doing something incredibly stupid.

"For starters, repeat after me," the small woman cleared her throat. "Expecto Patronum."

They did as she commanded, voices speaking out confidently in unison, different tones and volumes all melding together perfectly like a well-rehearsed choir.

"Now I want you to all take a second and think of your happiest memory, whether it be s first kiss, the arrival of your acceptance letter, it doesn't matter so long as it's powerful."

Bernadette closed her eyes. She was lucky to be struggling to pick a happy memory, she had so many to choose from but it was all about finding the most powerful. She thought of the day Christopher came back from his first year at Hogwarts and how she couldn't help but run towards him with so much force that she knocked him over and broke his arm in two places, the day she'd stolen her brother's broom from the shed and flown it around the farm, scaring the shit out of their cows and a few muggles who believed they were going mad, her first day at Hogwarts, but none seemed to be powerful enough.

Eventually she settled on the distant memory of Henry's first day outside of the house. He'd always been sickly and was usually confined either to his bed or a hospital room. The first time he was well enough to go outside he'd clutched onto Bernadette's hand for dear life and was scared of the grass but in no time he'd been smiling and happy and getting a chance to be a normal kid even if only for an hour or two.

~~

**-April 1967-**

_The thin material of her dress blew around her ankles with a sudden rush of warm breeze. She sighed contently to herself, long hair fanning out behind her. She turned around to face her baby brother who was watching her warily from the safety of the threshold of the house._

_"It's safe, don't worry." She called back to him. "Nothing is gonna hurt you, I won't let it. You trust me, don't you?"_

_The fear did not leave his eyes. Biting her lip, she stalked back over and took his slightly pudgy hand up in her own. Recently, his health had taken a turn for the better, he'd gained a bit of weight (much to his mother's relief), wasn't bruising as easily and had a lot more energy than he'd ever had before. Due to this, Bernadette had pleaded for days with her mother to let her bring the boy outside, something he'd only ever seen through windows or pictures. Bertha had eventually relented and now watched worriedly from the hall._

_Bernadette tugged his hand and he released his grip on the doorframe, coming with her. When his toes first came in contact with the grass, he'd gasped and released her hand in favour of using her leg as a sort of lifeboat. She giggled, making no effort to shake him off._

_"It's just grass, it might feel weird but it won't do anything except stain your clothes, Mum is always complaining about that. You heard her shouting about me ruining my Sunday dress with grass stains, right?"_

_He nodded silently before taking a leap of courage and lifting his feet off his sister's and planted them firmly on the grass. At first, the blades pricked at his soft soles but he quickly became used to the feeling and let a tiny smile snatch at his lips._

_Happy that he was no longer scared, Bernadette fell back onto the ground and began to pick of the surrounding daisies, getting started on a daisy chain for her Dad who was out with the cows. Every so often, her dark eyes would flash to Henry, making sure that he was still as entranced by the outside world as before._

_Christopher came barrelling out of the house, cheeks stuffed with biscuits, his grandmother chasing angrily after him. He stopped dead in his tracks once he caught sight of the little boy standing in the fresh air._

_"Chrissy!" His little sister beckoned him over. "Come join us! Get Joey too!"_

_It wasn't long before all four siblings lay out on the grass, sun warming their backs and a grand total of eight daisy chains lying scattered around them. Bernadette thought that May was the best month of the year as it was never too cold nor too hot. The world just seemed a nicer place in the month of May. It also marked their last few days of freedom before William came home for the next few months from school._

_"Kids!" Their mother caught their attention, walking outside with a tray holding a large jug of lemonade and four neatly-made sandwiches. "Lunch!"_  
~~

For years, Bernadette could easily pinpoint that day as the best of her life. Apparently, it no longer was.

"Now try casting the spell, it's unlikely anything will happen on your first try but if it doesn't work just try and pick a better memory."

Bernadette took a deep breath and with a swish of her wand, spoke the incantation. "Expecto Patronum!"

To her immense surprise, nothing but a small wisp of what appeared to be silver smoke flew from the tip of her wand before dispersing. It was cool, beautiful even, but she had to admit she'd expected a bit more. "Bitchin'."

"Not gonna lie," Sirius suddenly popped up beside her. "That was pretty impressive, next time try thinking of me and you might get full-corporeal."

"Dream on, loser." She shoved him away playfully, a grin playing on her lips. She guessed the reason she'd only produced smoke was due to the fact that any happy memory of hers involving Henry, brought with it a monsoon of painful emotions and felt more bittersweet than happy.

Bernadette tried another five times with different memories but none produced the full Patronus Charm she so desperately wanted to achieve by the end of class. A few people had gotten it, Peter conjured up a rat (no surprise there),  Remus looked incredibly disappointed at the wolf which had come out of his wand and Marlene now had a silver basset hound running circles around her. Bernadette's frustration grew as Connie managed to produce a marsh harrier which soared around the classroom and Sirius looked proudly upon his black dog.

The brunette had pretty much run out of memories and went to her last resort, actually listening to Sirius Black. She thought of him, sitting with her on the Astronomy Tower, singing along to the Muggle songs she hummed, giving her a shoulder to cry on when it felt as though her life was collapsing around her, complimenting her choice of socks, just being a friend. They weren't all necessarily happy memories but they made her feel something and she was out of options.

"Expecto Patronum!"

To her amazement, a large grizzly bear formed in front of her out of wispy silver smoke and began to patter around the room. Her dark eyes grew to the size of saucers and she pumped the air excitedly. "Fuck yeah! I'm a motherfucking bear!"

"Language please, Ms Sommers!"

"Sorry Professor." She wasn't sorry in the slightest and decided to push the fact that her happiest memory involved Sirius Black to the back of her mind while she marvelled at the beauty of the large creature. In a way, she supposed it was funny, her father had playfully called her 'Bernie-Bear' as a child due to the name her grandmother had chosen for her which she was pretty sure meant something along the lines of 'brave as a bear'.

"That's sick." Marlene pouted beside her. "I wish I'd gotten a bear!"

"Well you didn't so...tough luck I guess."

"What did you think of?" Sirius came up behind her, resting his chin on her shoulder.

Suddenly feeling rather hot, she hid her face behind her hair, hoping he wouldn't notice how red it was. "Um...my first trip to Hogsmeade. Yeah, it was a pretty great day."

He knew she was lying through her teeth. She knew that he knew. But neither of them said anything about it and went their separate ways, silently vowing to never speak of it again.

James Potter was seated in one of the chairs pushed up against the wall, looking incredibly smug for someone who had yet to cast the charm. His hazel eyes continuously darted to Lily who was struggling to muster up a memory powerful enough.

"Lily is so lucky." Marlene pouted. "To have a guy so head over heels for her, I'd kill for that and she just completely blows him off!"

"In all fairness, and you know I love James, he can be a bit of an arse sometimes."

"Five minutes left!" The professor's voice trilled from the front of the room where she was watching them with beady eyes.

In frustration, Lily shouted the incantation one final time, ears red in annoyance, and a breathtaking silver mist exploded from the end of her wand. First came the snout, then a long neck, four thin legs and finally, a wispy tail. A doe. James' jaw dropped, as did all those who knew his secret. Bernadette's breath hitched and she felt a sudden surge of happiness in her chest. How absolutely perfect. She couldn't help but wonder what Daniel's Patronus was, if it matched with hers.

James had suddenly gone quite pink in the face, unable to tear his eyes away from the silvery essence that was Lily Evans' Patronus. The redhead took no notice of his shock, delighted that she'd managed to produce a full-corporeal and turned happily to Connie, smile infectious and the widest Bernadette had seen it in a long time.

Before the end of class, Professor Thames had each of them stand at the top of the classroom and show what they'd accomplished. There weren't many who'd managed full-corporeal but everyone was able to produce something. Everyone except James Potter, however.

"Sorry, Professor, I can't." He'd shrugged lazily before descending to the back of the room. Bernadette was genuinely surprised, he'd had the perfect opportunity to prove to Lily that they were meant to be together and he'd thrown it away, just for the sake of not embarrassing her.

Lily did not care enough about the subject to mention it after class as the girls made their way to the Black Lake to dip their feet in the water, procrastinating studying for their upcoming O.W.L.s.

Later, Bernadette had tracked James down and confronted him about what he'd done. "What the fuck, Prongs!"

"What is it you psycho?" He rubbed his arm where she'd smacked him.

"Why didn't you cast the Patronus charm,  _James_?" She hissed at him under her breath. "You could've shown her how perfect you two are together!"

"I don't know what you're talking about." He'd replied hastily, avoiding her piercing stare. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I've got...homework."

Sighing, she stared at his retreating figure. He wasn't being as much of an arrogant ass as he would've been at the start of the year. Perhaps she was wrong and actions such as that would lead to Lily realising she did belong with James Potter. She supposed she had to give the boy some credit in that regard. He was finally maturing.  
~~

Lily was in a good mood for the rest of the evening, doing Marlene's homework without question or complaint, humming happily to herself as she worked by the roaring fire in the Gryffindor common room. Bernadette (who despite not being in the House, was a frequent visitor), watched uneasily, chewing her fingernails. Her eyes darted from a chipper Lily to James, who was sat at the opposite end of the room, staring at her strangely.

Eventually, when she could no longer take the tension, the Hufflepuff got to her feet with a groan and crossed the room to James. "Stop that."

He didn't even look at her. "Stop what?"

" _This_. The lack of jokes and stupid comments! The pining! You need to say something to her, James!"

Finally their eyes met and she felt slightly guilty for pressuring him. But still, it was killing her to see him so torn. Clearly everyone thought his pursuit of Lily was just because he knew it annoyed her, he seemingly thought this too.

"The only things I  _have_ to do is eat, drink, sleep and pay taxes."

She sat down next to him on the windowsill heavily. "Oh ha ha, you're so funny. Look, at the very least, go over there and say something nice to her. No flirting or being an ass, just...offer her a sugar quill. Those-"

"-Are her favourite, I know."

Reaching deep into her bag of snacks she was planning on saving for their sleepover in Lily and Marlene's dorm, she pulled out a packet of the redhead's favourite confection and shoved them into James' hands. "Go! Smile! Don't say anything else!"

With beady eyes, she followed his every movement as he inched towards an unsuspecting Lily. His body language was awkward and his smile forced but Bernadette sighed with relief as her friend accepted the sweet with a small smile and James came practically sprinting back towards her, elated.

"You're a fucking genius, Etta!" He grabbed her by the shoulders and planted a giant kiss on her cheek. "She didn't call me anything rude! She  _smiled_ , Etta, she smiled!"

She laughed at him. "It's called being nice, dumbass! It works a hell of a lot better than bullying her best friend-however much of an ass he might be."

"I should probably start listening to you instead of Padfoot."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I had like three mental breakdowns this week but what's new. Going to a disco with my friends tonight, just got my makeup done and I don't have time to edit so fuck it. Next few chapters I feel are a bit dodge so be warned.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	22. Chapter Twenty-One: He's a Keeper

**-May 1976-**

Bernadette was minding her own business at the Hufflepuff table, listening to Connie relay to her a story about something embarrassing that happened in Ancient Runes. The Great Hall was busier than normal as the final Quidditch match of the year was to take place that day, between Gryffindor and Ravenclaw and would decide which House would win the Quidditch Cup. People were understandably excited, too excited to sleep in and possibly miss the all the action.

In the middle of a dare from Jasmine to stuff as many boiled eggs in her mouth as she could when she heard pounding footsteps on the stone floor, heading straight towards them. A young Ravenclaw girl, Bernadette recognised as one of Flora's friends, Carly or something.

Red in the face and out of breath, she came to a halt next to Bernadette with her filled cheeks, bearing remarkable resemblance to a chipmunk. Folding over with her hands on her knees, she panted a bit, the whole group's eyes fixated on her.

"Bern...adette..."

The brunette tried to speak through her stuffed mouth, ultimately failing and almost choking. Connie slammed her hand down on her back repeatedly until she spat out the food, earning grossed out looks from all around. "Yes?"

"Flora...sick...wants you...commentate...Quidditch."

"What?"

"Flora is sick...she wants you...to commentate the Quidditch match...in her place."

"Wow," Bernadette sat up straighter in her seat. "Really? That great! Guys, I'm gonna commentate! How cool is that? Of course I'll do it!"

Caught up in her excitement, the brunette hopped to her feet, bouncing from one foot to the other. She was deliriously happy, giddy even, she'd always wanted to commentate a Quidditch match, it always looked like such fun but time and time again the teachers had turned down her request as they didn't trust her to stay on topic.

"Thank god." Carly doubled over again and finally seemed to catch her breath.

"Are you sure, Etta?" Connie was looking at her dubiously.

"Yeah, I mean, what could go wrong?"   
~~

"Potter with the Quaffle, he's going straight for the-he's dropped it. Nice work, James, maybe if you kept your eyes on the ball instead of Lily Evans, you might actually score a point." Her voice echoed throughout the stands. "Anyways, Berkeley's got the Quaffle now, she passes to Gardner. Brilliant Bludger from Black!"

She flashed him a proud grin. "At least  _someone_ on the Gryffindor team knows what they're doing." She gestured a hand at the scoreboard and pulled a face as McGonagall pursed her lips, trying not to crack a smile.

James streaked by, flipping her off. "Potter might wanna watch his temper because while he was too busy being an ass, Ravenclaw's got the Quaffle again and if he doesn't hurry, they're gonna score. But wait, wonderful save from Clarke, ain't he a Keeper!"

Dissolving into a fit of giggles at her terrible pun, Bernadette almost forgot what she was there to do until McGonagall nudged her in the ribs. "Oh yeah, Higgins with the Quaffle, passes to Knight, she passes to Potter, Potter scores! It's a Christmas miracle!"  
~~

"That was good." Sirius had approached her after the match, forehead glistening with sweat and face red but somehow managing to make it look elegant. "Like  _really_  good. You should commentate more often."

A proud smile stretched across her face. "Thanks, I've wanted to do that for years, never thought anyone would ever actually let me though. I was expecting McGonagall to know better than than to trust me with a job like that."

"You were funny too," he playfully nudged her shoulder. "All those Quidditch puns were great, did you come up with all of those?"

" _Beats_ me." Bernadette giggled at her own joke, finding it a lot funnier than it actually was.

"I also appreciated all the compliments." He flashed her a wink.

Face growing hot, the humour died on her lips. "Well, you were playing well and I was simply pointing out facts. It's rather unfair you're so good though, considering you don't even care about it all that much. You only ever seem to like Quidditch when we're having a competition."

He opened his mouth as if to say something but quickly shut it again. "What can I say, I just enjoy playing against you."

"I'm honoured."

James poked his head out of the dressing room. "Padfoot, stop flirting and get ready, the party will be soon and I don't think you'll wanna look sweaty and gross."

"Um...I'll see you at the after-party then." She smiled at him with tight lips before beginning to back away.

"Yeah, see you then."

Both red-faced and absolutely mortified, the teens went their separate ways, Sirius into the dressing room and Bernadette back up to the castle.   
~~

"Why on earth would you wear heels?" Bernadette hissed angrily under her breath as Marlene's shoes clacked loudly against the stone floor. "We're trying  _not_  to get caught!"

"Carlo is gonna be there!" The blonde (whose roots were beginning to creep in) whispered back. "And I look stumpy in this dress if I don't wear heels."

The pair ducked behind a tapestry, pulling the bottles of Firewhiskey close to their chests, breathing rapid and small as Peeves' cackling drifted past. They slipped out once sure he had turned the corner and continued on their journey back to Gryffindor common room. Bernadette was already kicking herself for risking getting caught for smuggling in alcohol when she wouldn't even be drinking any herself.

"Take off your damn shoes!"

"No! My feet will get filthy, I don't know what's been on this floor!"

"You're impossible, Marley."

"Stop complaining, we're almost there."

Padding up the staircase towards the large portrait of The Fat Lady, they continued to bicker as such. Punishments for smuggling in drinks were always severe and it would be Marlene's second offence which would probably just result in her expulsion. Bernadette had mainly agreed to the journey to escape this third year boy who was trying (and failing) desperately to flirt with her the whole night.

Slipping through the portrait hole which served as the entrance to Gryffindor common room, they noticed the room had emptied out considerably since before they'd left. They hadn't been gone long, only thirty or forty minutes but in all fairness, it was late and they had classes the next morning.

"Is this it?" Bernadette joined the small group talking by the fire.

"'Fraid so." Lily mumbled. "Remus and I convinced the younger years to go to bed and the sixth and seventh years have outgrown their party days. Except Alice and Frank over here, wild, they are."

Bernadette glanced a the pair in question. 'Wild' was not a trait she saw much in Frank with his tucked in shirts and perfectly styled hair and Alice had always been rather shy in public settings or around strangers. Still, she didn't question Lily's choice of wording and began to pass around the bottles.

"Marley and I went to quite a bit of trouble to acquire these so drink up. Not too much though, I don't wanna be the one holding back your hair while you vomit." She sent a pointed look towards Sirius, his hair had gotten rather long as of late and it was a wonder how it didn't get in his way.

"Don't look at me." He held up his hands in surrender. "I can hold my Firewhiskey better than anyone else here."

James snorted but hastily covered it up with a cough and Lily had rolled her eyes.

"Whatever," She fell down on the couch next to Alice, passing her a bottle. "We should play a game or something. Ooh! One of those Muggle ones! What's it called again, Lils?"

"Truth or dare?"

"No! The one where you spin the bottle."

"Spin the bottle?"

"Yes! I probably should've guessed that but we totally should!" She sent James a pointed look, letting him know for a fact that she was doing this for his sake.

"I don't know..." Connie spoke up for the first time, nestled in one of the armchairs. "Isn't it a bit childish?"

"You don't have to play if you don't want to, we won't force you. But wouldn't it be so much fun?"

Alice glanced in the direction of Frank Longbottom and smiled sheepishly. "I'm in."

"Me too!" Marlene waved her hand excitedly.

"Me three!" Sirius slammed down the bottle he'd already chugged down on the ground.

With coaxing from Alice, Frank soon agreed, as did Lily after Bernadette promised she'd buy her sugar quills next time they went to Hogsmeade. Peter needed no persuasion after hearing James and Sirius were playing but Remus, Mary and Connie didn't seem as eager and chose to just watch all the drama unfold.

The eight teens arranged themselves in a circle and one of the empty bottles in the middle, dying fire crackling in the back. A few other students milled around, curious as to what exactly it was they were doing but quickly moved on, not wanting to get caught in what would probably result in chaos.

"Who goes first?" Lily asked, nervously twiddling her thumbs.

"I'll go!" James replied quickly, not giving anyone else a chance to respond. He leaned forwards and spun the bottle, biting his lip in anticipation.

They all watched bated breath as the bottle slowed down, the slim neck pointing at a horrified Sirius. Lily and Bernadette had both burst into a fit of giggles, fate was truly cruel.

"Kiss! Kiss! Kiss!"

"Ew, James is like my brother!" Sirius tried to plead as James was leaning in with pursed lips. "That's incest you sickos!"

James planted a big fat kiss on Sirius' mouth while he'd been too busy arguing and the group exploded in laughter. Sides aching and mouths stretched out into smiles of mirth, it took them a good few minutes to recover from the scene, Sirius' face still twisted into a grimace.

The game carried on for another thirty minutes before anything of significance happened again, it had been Lily's turn to spin and she was more than a little tipsy. Bernadette had known Lily for a long time and she knew that when she was drunk, there wasn't much that could bring down her good mood. That was what made the next incident so horrible. She'd spun the bottle, giggling to herself until it came to point in the face of one James Potter.

Lily's giggles had died and her shoulders fell. "I'm not kissing him."

Alice, shocked at the sudden change in Lily's mood, turned to her. "Why not, Lils? Just a peck on the cheek."

"He...disgusts me."

The atmosphere plummeted and most felt desperate to escape the sudden tension that couldn't even be eased by alcohol.

"I disgust you?" James was staring at her in pain, for once, his facade had completely melted away.

"Yeah, you do." Lily slurred, leaning to the side, eyes drooping. "I hate you."

"Woah, Lily." Bernadette, who was presently the only completely sober member. "You don't mean that. She doesn't mean that, James."

"Yes I do!" The redhead insisted. "He's...he's arrogant and-and selfish and his hair is stupid!"

"My hair is not stupid!" James grew defensive but the hurt still lingered under his tone and glistened in his eyes.

"Come on, Lily, you've just had too much to drink, I'll get you to bed." Sending an apologetic look in James' direction, she wrapped Lily's arm around her shoulder and began to drag her towards the Gryffindor girls' dorms with much difficultly, leaving a few stunned teens in their wake.

Lily had passed out as soon as Bernadette had dropped her down on her bed, snoring lightly. Sighing down in disappointment, Bernadette continued to wash her face of makeup and took off her shoes. It was strange sometimes, being the sober friend for once. She didn't regret it though, drinking had never done her any good.

When she'd gotten back downstairs she found Alice and Frank talking by the window, Connie, Mary, Remus and Peter engaged in a half-hearted game of Exploding Snap and Sirius trying his best to comfort James by the fire. The bottle they'd used lay abandoned in contempt in the middle of the room, neck still pointed to where James had been seated.

"Hey." She sat down on James' other side. "Sorry, this is all my fault."

"Yeah."

"She didn't mean it though." The brunette tried. "She's just really drunk and emotional. Her and Snape made up but then she heard that he made a comment about Evangeline Stack's father so she's not sure where they stand. That's a lot so she was just taking out her frustration on you. She shouldn't have but she didn't mean it."

"Don't lie." James slurred, eyes staring blankly into the fire. "Yes she did, she hates me. I thought I was finally getting somewhere but I keep messing it up somehow."

"You didn't mess up this time, mate." Sirius patted his shoulder. "You'll get her eventually."  
~~

Another thing Bernadette did not miss about alcohol was hangovers. She was taking a walk around the school grounds with a very hungover Marlene McKinnon when they were supposed to be in double History of Magic with Professor Binns.

Thankfully, it wasn't too cold, the sweet May weather was forgiving to the two teens and bathed them in warm sunlight. Bernadette was more appreciative of the perfect baby-blue sky and candy floss clouds than her friend who was scowling at the brightness. The breeze was soft, barely ruffling their skirts and the Black Lake looked more of a silver mirror.

"Isn't it just he perfect morning?" Bernadette grinned at her sour friend, shoes dangling carelessly from her hand. "No History of Magic, beautiful weather and no worries."

"You jinxed it." Marlene directed her attention to the edge of the Forbidden Forest where she could just make out a few figures disappearing into the tree line. "I bet those Slytherin assholes are doing some weird satanic ritual or something, planning on putting a curse on everyone else because they lost the House Cup. Wait, Etta!"

Bernadette had already started off to follow after them, both because she was curious and terrified as to what business they had in the Forbidden Forest. She was no stranger to the wood which lay on the outskirts of Hogwarts, venturing in on her first week there on a dare from the Prewett twins and often popped in to explore. Still, she didn't know many others as stupid or reckless as herself to willingly go into the creepy murder forest.

"Well if they are doing something creepy, we have to stop them!"

Marlene struggled to match her pace. "Usually I'm all for our stupid plans but no! We're going to get straight up murdered if we follow them!"

"Not if they don't see us." She slipped her shoes back on and carefully avoided stepping on twigs. "Think like a ninja or...James Bond or Catwoman, I don't know!"

"If I die I'm haunting you forever."   
~~

The pair hesitated for a second as they followed the muted voices off the path. Even as a regular visitor, Bernadette didn't like to go off the path as every time she did she almost always had a near-death experience. Still, being the idiotic teenage girls they were, they walked deeper into the forest.

It was darker, trees thicker and soon some very angry voices cut through their terror like a hot knife through butter.

"That's not an answer, Snape!"

Bernadette would recognise the snarl of Avery anywhere, she'd heard it spitting out derogatory names at her and her friends for five years. Marlene and her shared a knowing look at the mention of Lily's friend before creeping closer, staying under the cover of a large bush.

"What do you want to to say then?" The boy's voice was unnaturally panicked, his usual monotone drawl having disappeared. "That I'll sacrifice everything to serve the Dark Lord?"

"That's what you want though?" Bernadette tensed as Mulciber spoke up. "To serve the Dark Lord? It's an honour, Snape, to be specially requested at your age! Are you taking this for granted, Severus?"

Marlene's hand found Bernadette's and clutched onto it for dear life.

"It's probably because of the Mudblood girlfriend of his." A woman's voice sneered.

"She's not my girlfriend."

"But you wish she was." Avery sounded positively disgusted at the mere thought.

Snape was silent, clearly there was no way he could deny this accusation, everyone knew of his obsession with Lily Evans except the girl herself who was blissfully unaware.

"Forgive me for speaking out of turn," Another person piped up, he sounded awfully familiar but Bernadette couldn't quite place him. "But what does his love life have to do with his servitude to the Dark Lord."

"It has everything to do with it when he's in love with a filthy Mudblood." The woman snapped.,

"Don't defend him, Regulus." Avery seemed to grow more irritated by the second. "I mean we all know you have a soft spot for blood traitors like your brother but this is on a whole other level."

Bernadette finally recalled where she knew the boy from. Regulus Black, younger brother to Sirius and the boy who'd saved her life in the girls' bathroom on her birthday. She'd never even thanked him for that.

"You misunderstand." Snape was speaking slow and with sudden confidence. "I harbour no sentimentalities for the filthy Mudblood, I'm simply gaining her trust so as to pull a fast one when she least expects it."

The two hiding girls now had death grips on each other, steam practically shooting out of their ears in rage of what they were hearing. They both knew he was lying but the fact that he had the nerve to speak of Lily like that disgusted them.

"Really?" Mulciber almost laughed. "Do you think we were born yesterday? Nice try though."

"We promise," They could hear the smirk in Avery's voice. "There will be no more problems if you agree to serve the Dark Lord for the rest of your days right here and now."

There was a horrible, gut-wrenching silence which made Bernadette want to empty the contents of her stomach and cry and scream. She had never really thought about her classmates, children, giving up their lives to serve some power-hungry, prejudiced dictator with no exit route other than death. Had her mother not run away, that could easily be her in Snape's position.

"Okay."   
~~

When they'd reached the safety of Marlene's dorm room, the pair fell down onto her bed in stunned silence. They'd just witnessed someone receiving the Dark Mark, someone they knew. The reality of this war had never been so clear to them, blinded by childish hopes and ignorance. 

"Should we tell Lily?" Bernadette whispered, hugging a pillow to her stomach, grasping it so tightly that her knuckles turned white.

"Are you crazy?" Marlene frantically shook her head. "We can't do that! She'd be heartbroken! He's her best friend, we can't just tell her that he's joined the people who want her dead because of her blood status!"

"But we have to!" Bernadette felt queasy. "She has a right to know!"

"Who has a right to know what?"

"Lily!" Both girls rose guiltily to their feet, eyes wide with panic.

The redhead dumped her bag at the foot of her bed and looked worriedly at her two friends. "No seriously, are you guys okay? You look like you've seen a murder or something."

"It's nothing!" Marlene spoke quickly. "We just can't agree whether to tell Millie that Ernie is gonna ask her out when she's already going out with Richard."

Lily, who had no interest in gossip, shrugged and moved on. "Okay, whatever, I thought it was actually something important for a second there."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My mum is so funny I told her one of my "friends" couldn't go to my Halloween party and she goes "Good". We stan a petty queen. I think I really like this chapter though, like I had a sudden burst of inspiration and wrote it all in an hour. I deserve a cuppa for that.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two: Losses and Gain

**-June 1976-**

Bernadette had been dreading her O.W.L.'s for five years. She wasn't known to be academically proficient and found concentration hard when the subject did not capture her interest. However, after a year of being forced to study in the library and actually paying attention in class, her exams proved themselves to be easier than she'd thought.

Care of Magical Creatures, Herbology, Potions and Muggle Studies were a breeze as she'd expected and Transfiguration went better than she could've possibly hoped. Divination was a coin toss, most of her predictions foretelling suffering and death and an elaborate tale of bullshit about the position of Jupiter in correlation to Earth. Charms was okay despite her accidentally knocking the examiner's cup of tea onto his lap but she felt as though she had redeemed herself by healing the burn and cleaning his clothes with handy spells she'd picked up from watching her mother do magic around the house. Astronomy was dismal as it had been her first exam and she had a tendency to fall asleep during the practical classes but if she was lucky she would get an Acceptable thanks to the extra points from the project they'd done earlier that year.

Their last exam was Defence Against the Dark Arts theory on the seventeenth. The practical had gone well, Bernadette having done excellently regarding Dark Creatures but she'd messed up the pronunciation of the Reductor Curse and dropped her wand twice due to laughing at the examiner's ugly bow tie.

Bernadette sat in her chair, reading over her paper one last time before doodling in the margins. The four long tables in the Great Hall had been replaced by more than a hundred smaller ones. The room was devoid of noise, much to the young Hufflepuff's irritation, save for the scratching of quills or occasional cough from students. She had long since discarded her robes, the room being sweltering hot from the summer sun, the sunlight streaming through the large windows blinding her.

"Five more minutes!" Her head shot up as Professor Flitwick called out, moving between the desks.

As she looked up, she first caught Sirius' eye who'd grinned at her and flashed a thumbs up sign her way. Contrary to his distinct lack of interest or effort put into his studies, he always seemed to come out with top grades. Had she actually cared about schoolwork she might've been irritated. Then she glanced at James ahead of her who'd yawned and sat back in his seat. He too always managed to score well on exams without even opening a book.

The brunette turned back to her parchment sketching out a small version of herself surrounded by various magical creatures (but mostly consisted of a large amount of bowtruckles who had taken nest in her hair). Professors complained endlessly about her mini illustrations on homework and essays but she thought that deep down they secretly liked them quite a bit and were simply in denial about her artistic prowess.

"Quills down, please!" Flitwick was now at the top of the room where the teachers' table normally was. "Accio!"

Her parchment as well as all her classmates zoomed towards the small man, bowling him over onto the floor. Bernadette laughed a bit as a few students in the first row helped him up, the part-goblin thanking them profusely before they were all dismissed.

She leaped up, chair scraping on the stone floor behind her as she made a beeline for Connie, wrapping her arms around the girl with a squeal of delight.

"We're done, Connie! Done! Can you believe it?" She spun her best friend around, beaming widely in celebration. "No more exams until next June! I'm a free woman!"

"Keep your voice down." Lily joined them, chuckling slightly, unable to resist Bernadette's infectious joy. "Wanna head out to the Black Lake?"

"Oh yes please," Marlene joined in, fanning herself with a piece of folded parchment. "It's so hot that my mascara might start running. Didn't help I was seated right next to the bloody window."

The four met up with Mary who had been waiting outside the Great Hall, reading a book from the library. She had finished her exams the previous week, being in the year below them and didn't have to worry about her O.W.L.'s until next year.

"How'd it go?"

Lily smiled happily, holding her bag to her chest. "Brilliant, all the questions were so easy!"

Marlene groaned and shook her head. "No, I could only remember two identifications of werewolves but I suppose the rest was okay. Oh wait! That question about Grindylows was cruel, I was in the Hospital Wing that lesson."

"No you weren't," Connie shook her head despairingly. "You were skipping with Roger Cuthbert to go snogging in a broom closet. Filch caught you, remember?"

Marlene grimaced, thinking back to the two weeks of detentions she had gotten for that one. The five girls made their way out of the castle and towards the lake which glistened like dark diamonds under the sunlight. Bernadette relished in the cool breeze, immediately shedding her shoes, socks and tie. She collapsed down on the grass, feeling the blades in between her fingers and humming to ' _I'm in Love with My Car_ ' by Queen as she dipped her toes into the water.

"When I die," She opened her eyes to the bright, azure sky above her. "This is where I wanna be."

"You're so dramatic, Etta." Alice Fortescue arrived, a faint smile painting her pink lips. As a sixth year, she was still in the middle of her exams and rather stressed compared to her younger friends.

She would have argued had she not been so relaxed and content in her position. In that moment she could forget about the war, the emptiness in her heart and the threat to her loved ones. For once, she had a chance to appreciate the serenity, her friends' laughing like a sweet melody.

"Oi Nettle!" She sat bolt upright and turned around to see Sirius grinning at her from the shade of the beech tree by the lake. "I'm bored, come over here!"

"Piss off Padfoot!" She called back. "I'm busy, find a different source of entertainment!"

Lily scoffed to her left but thankfully did not go into another rant about how arrogant those boys were. Instead, she clasped Bernadette's hand and pulled her closer as if to tell Sirius that she was more important in the Hufflepuff's eyes.

"Pricks." She'd muttered under her breath, glancing back for a split second. "Would you look at James and that bloody Snitch! Pretentious douche."

Her friends were relieved that it was less insults than usual and delved back into their conversation about the Holyhead Harpies. It was a perfect minute where everything seemed normal and perfect. It took no longer than a few seconds for this to be shattered.

"Expelliarmus!"

All six girls ceased their chattering at the sound of James' voice ringing out clear throughout the area and turned around. Lily's ears flushed as red as her hair and she tried to get to her feet but Bernadette firmly clasped her upper arm to prevent her from doing so.

Severus Snape's wand flew twelve feet in the air before falling behind him in the grasp. Bernadette's lazy smile sank down into a frown.

"Impedimenta!"

Snape was knocked onto the ground halfway through a dive at his wand which lay abandoned among the green grass. A small gathering of students began to cluster around and Bernadette could no longer hold Lily back as she hastily got up and rushed towards the scene, the brunette steady on her heels.

James and Sirius advanced towards Snape who lay panting on the ground. James glanced towards Lily who was marching towards with fury written all over her face. Peter clambered to his feet, eagerly watching as the two boys raised their wands.

"How'd the exam go, Snivelly?" James said.

"I was watching him, his nose was touching the parchment," Sirius spat viciously. "There'll be great grease marks all over it, they won't be able to read a word."

She laughed while barely managing to hold Lily back. She held very little sympathy for Snape ever since he'd hexed her on her birthday and her disdain for him only grew after the incident in the Forbidden Forest.

"You-wait," Snape struggled against invisible ropes, spitting at the boys towering above him. "You-wait!"

"Wait for what?" Sirius rolled his eyes. "What're you going to do, Snivelly, wipe your nose on us?" 

The Slytherin boy in the ground let out a string of curses, dark eyes glaring at James with an expression of the purest hatred and loathing.

"Wash out your mouth," James said cooly. "Scourgify!"

A flurry of pink soap bubbles frothed at Snape's mouth, choking him as it spread over his thin lips.

"Leave him alone!" Lily broke free of Bernadette's hold. Sirius and James looked around towards her and James' hand immediately darted to his messy hair.

"All right, Evans?" His voice lost the cold edge it held while insulting Snape and became pleasant and lighthearted as it normally was.

"Leave him alone." She repeated, narrowing her startlingly green eyes. "What's he done to you?"

"Well," James pretended to ponder the question. "It's more the fact that he exists, if you know what I mean..."

Bernadette stepped forwards, knowing she'd regret her actions. Still, he was Lily's friend and even if he was horrible to her didn't mean she had to be the same way back.

"Come on, Prongs, Padfoot," the grass seemed to dig into her bare feet like needles. "Just leave him be this once, I'm not exactly his biggest fan but I don't think we should  _choke_  him."

Sirius walked towards her a bit, smirk spreading across his face. "Well you told me to find a different source of entertainment, this is our new source!"

"You think you're funny," Lily's voice was cold and poisonous. "But you're just an arrogant, bullying toe-rag, Potter. Leave him  _alone_."

"I will if you go out with me Evans." Said James. "Go on...go out with me and I'll never lay a wand on old Snivelly again."

The Impediment jinx had begun to wear off Snape and he was slowly inching towards his wand, fingers outstretched and desperate. Soap suds trickled down his chin and neck, staining his robes as he crawled.

Lily looked incredibly insulted. "I wouldn't go out with you if it was a choice between you and the giant squid."

Bernadette could sense the tension rising and really didn't want to have to try and calm her friends down separately since one seemed to hate the other. She bit her bottom lip so hard that she drew blood, the metallic taste filling her mouth.

"Bad luck, Prongs," Sirius shrugged. "Oi!"

Everyone's attention turned to Snape who had managed to get hold of his wand again and directed it straight at James. There was a sudden flash of light and a gash appeared on James' cheek, splattering his robes with blood. Bernadette's hand flew to her mouth before she was filled with rage towards the greasy boy. Sure, they were being absolute gits, but they had a reason of some sorts. For starters, he'd hospitalised Bernadette on her birthday and hung out with future Death Eaters not to mention his unnerving interest in the Dark Arts.

James whirled around and in another flash of light, Snape was suspended mid-air, his robes falling over his head as he flailed like a fish out of water.

"Let him down!" Lily's angered yell stood out from the laughing of the rest of the small crowd although for a split second, it looked at though she were about to smile a bit as her expression twitched.

"Certainly." With a flick of James' wand, Snape crumpled on the ground like an old unwanted toy. The boy quickly scrambled to his feet, wand at the ready but keeled over as Sirius shot another spell at him.

"Leave him alone!" Lily had taken out her own wand at that point and a few people backed away, knowing how good she was at duelling.

"Ah, Evans, don't make me hex you."

"Take the curse off him then!"

A horrible feeling crept into her stomach and she knew that something was about to go terribly wrong. Her hand grasped at her wand which had been stuck in her bun which was half falling out by that point. James reluctantly released Snape of the full-body-bind curse.

"There you go," he said. "You're lucky Evans was here, Snivellus."

"I don't need help from filthy little Mudbloods like her!"

All other noise around Bernadette died. The slur repeated in her head like a broken record for a few seconds and she could barely register Lily storming off in tears before she lurched forwards at Snape.

"Apologise!" She screeched, pushing him up against the tree and pressing her wand into his cheek. He suddenly appeared petrified, stammering and avoiding her piercing gaze. "Apologise for calling her a you-know-what!"

When he didn't reply, she drew back her fist before smashing it into his hooked nose. She released him as he fell to the ground in a heap.

"You're welcome, you and your buddy Mulciber can be twins now." She leaned down to his level and whispered a few poisonous words in his ear. "Don't even  _think_  about talking to her again you worthless snake."

She walked away, brushing off James and Sirius who'd tried to talk to her and gathered her belongings by the lake. She didn't look back to see James taking off Snape's pants and raced back up to the castle in pursuit of Lily. She eventually found the girl in her dorm, curtains drawn around her bed, soft sobs drifting from inside. She'd had to wait for Marlene to come along, panting and red-faced to let her in past the Fat Lady which put her back a bit but soon she was by Lily's side, rubbing comforting circles on her back.

"He's an arse, Lils." Marlene who wasn't as skilled at the art of compassion sat down on the end of the bed with clenched fists. "Etta already gave him a lesson but I could always throw a few jinxes at his greasy head if you want."

The redhead chuckled a bit but shook her head. "No, honestly I should have seen this coming. He's not worth my tears."

"Yes bitch!" Bernadette clapped her back proudly. "You shouldn't waste your precious time on a stupid little weasel like him!"

The door opened and in rushed Connie, Mary and Alice looking flustered and panicked.

"We looked everywhere!" Mary had Lily's stuff in hand as well as her own. "The library, the Great Hall, the Astronomy Tower and all the classrooms."

"Sorry," Lily got up from her bed and began to fix her disheveled appearance.

"Potter is looking for you, y'know." Connie sat down on the floor with a heavy sigh.

Lily's shoulders suddenly tensed. "I don't want to talk to him right now. It's not like he'll get the message though, persistent douchebag."

"He wants to apologise." Alice walked over to her younger friend and placed a hand on her left shoulder. "I think you should go down and hear him out, he seems pretty genuine this time."

"I'm not in the mood to hear his stupid voice right now, can someone go down and tell him to bugger off? Etta? You're friends with him."

Reluctantly the brunette left the room and descended down the stairs where she spotted the messy haired boy sat at the bottom, anxiously chewing on his bottom lip.

"Hey James." She sat across from him and flashed a strained smile. "Lily isn't in the mood to talk right now so she sent me down to get rid of you."

"He's a dick."

"No shit, I was willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but he's crossed the line now. Nice one with the soap suds by the way, very creative way to use a cleaning spell."

"Thanks, I thought it was a pretty clever one too." He sighed heavily, taking off his glasses to rub at his temples, suggesting that he had a headache. "Are you sure you can't get Lily down here to talk to me?"

Bernadette shook her head, more loose strands falling out of her bun. "Sorry mate, you're like one of the last people she wants to see right now. She thinks that you're cocky and pretentious and arrogant-"

"I get it, you can stop with the name calling. And don't they all mean like the same thing?"

"That's besides the point, maybe if you lay off her for a while, she might like you a bit more." The Hufflepuff shrugged. "At this rate she'll never wanna go out with you even if I do think you guys would have adorable children. And if you do, I have dibs on being godmother."

He chuckled a bit before poking her with his foot. "Nice punch by the way, I hadn't thought his nose could get any more crooked than it already was."

"Thanks, I've been practicing my right hook for a while now." She stood up, planning on heading back up to the dorms but she stopped and turned back around to a dejected James. "Just give her some time, Prongs, show her you're not a stupid arrogant toe-rag and give me my godchildren, goddammit!"

"You're horrible at giving advice!"

"You're horrible at getting Lily to fall in love with you."

"Touché."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was such a fun chapter to write but in all seriousness I'm tired and stressed and have like 7 fucking evaluation sheets to do by Monday and try to prove to my fucking bitch of a Craft teacher that I can crochet because the basket I made isn't evidence enough. Is it bad I only use these author notes to vent about my problems because I know nobody reads them?  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three: Irredeemable

**-June 1976-**

"This is getting old, Snape." Bernadette stared down tiredly the the Slytherin boy, hugging her dressing gown closer around her body. "This is the third night in the row. Last chance before I go to the teachers about your stalking and harassment and general asshole tendencies."

His thin blanket fell slightly from his shoulders as he glared back up. "I'm not leaving until she talks to me."

Bernadette made a loud buzzer sound. "Wrong answer! I think you meant: ' _Oh no I'm so sorry for causing Lily such stress and heartbreak and for blatantly ignoring her wishes for me to leave her the fuck alone_ '. Now get out of here before I kick your ass!"

There was a horrible sickening silence suspended between them until Snape sighed and relented, blanket tumbling lamely to the floor. "Fine, I'm leaving. Happy?"

"Incredibly so."

As the portrait swung shut behind her, Bernadette breathed a sigh of relief and sank down to her knees. The common room was empty and only lighted by the dying fire in the hearth. She'd been staying in Gryffindor Tower ever since the incident so as to give both emotional and physical support to Lily and she had to say she missed her own dorm. It was just a bit too much red, it harassed her poor eyes and made the summer weather feel too hot.

To nobody's surprise, Lily had actually been handling the whole situation rather well after her initial breakdown, as if she'd seen it all coming from a mile away but her friends still refused to leave her alone just in case something were to happen as well as to keep James Potter as far away from her as possible.

The brunette was so tired from constantly shooing away annoying little greasy stalkers that she didn't even hear the footsteps padding down the stairs into the common room nor did she notice the person sliding down to sit next to her on the floor until they spoke up, lightly nudging her shoulder.

"You okay, Nettle?"

Bernadette let out an inhuman shriek of surprise and waved her arms wildly, smacking Sirius square in the face. "For fucks sake, Padfoot, you scared me!"

"Well forgive me for being concerned to see you sitting here all alone with your head in your hands." He gently pushed her shoulder, an odd gesture of affection. "Everything okay?"

"Is anything ever okay?"

"Snivellus again?" Her silence was enough of an answer. "Want me to go set him on fire or something?"

She chuckled. "No, I just chased him off, hopefully for the last time. God I can't wait till school ends."

"Even if you have to wait until September to see me again?"

"We can write, dumbass."

He pulled a face. "Still, that's no substitute for our top-notch banter. Not to mention I might be murdered over the summer and you will forever regret not professing your undying love for me while I was still alive."

"You're an idiot, Sirius Black."

"But I cheered you up, didn't I?"

Bernadette turned her head to look at him, his dark eyes glinting in the dying firelight and was momentarily taken aback how handsome he was. It had never been much of a secret but she supposed she'd never really thought about it before. His hair fell just right, framing his sculpted face, his lips pursed at her. What was she talking about? They were friends, just friends. Could 'just friends' appreciate how the other looked?

Blaming her moment of idiocy on her lack of sleep and abundance of irritation, she shook the thought from her head and continued. "I'm not denying that but I'm very easily made happy so you probably shouldn't brag about that. Throw me some chocolate and I'll be happy out." She rubbed at her tired eyes. "We should probably go to bed, you know? It's late."

"But we're having such a good time."

"I'd rather not fall asleep on the floor when I've got the spare bed in the girls' dorm waiting for me."

"You can always sleep in my bed."

She snorted as he wiggled his eyebrows at her suggestively, although couldn't help but feel resentful that she couldn't. "Your levels of stupidity never cease to amaze me, Black."  
~~

The final day of the school year finally rolled around, the last of the exams finishing up and the last few days spent with students lounging round the grounds, basking in the summer heat. Bernadette and Marlene were no exception to this, sprawled out on the grass by the Black Lake, occasionally tossing pieces of cereal robbed from breakfast to the giant squid. Despite the beautiful weather, they were not in high spirits.

"Should we tell her, Marley?" She fiddled with the hem of her top and stared at Marlene. She didn't particularly want to revisit the argument they had had many times previous but it still nagged at the back of her mind, like a record stuck on loop.

"I don't know, Etta!" Marlene snapped, ripping up a handful of grass. "I mean it's not like it'll impact their friendship, or rather lack thereof, it'll just make her upset and even if she's hiding it, it won't help her."

"But she has a right to know!" The brunette insisted. "Maybe she won't blame herself as much then, if she knew he was too far gone!"

Marlene's shoulders sagged and she squeezed her eyes tightly shut. "At least, let's wait until she's calmed down before we tell her anything...whenever that may be."

Bernadette lowered herself down onto the grass and stared blankly at the ocean of cerulean blue above her. She knew Marlene had a strong point but she didn't like keeping such a big secret from Lily, especially if she lived in the same neighbourhood as Snape. But then again, she also didn't like fighting with Marlene.

"Okay."   
~~

Huge, scratched trunk wobbly floating behind her, Bernadette pushed her way through the crowd of students who were taking their time about boarding the Hogwarts Express. She was in a rather foul mood, dreading going back home for the first time. She wondered if Chris would take her in once he'd bought his own apartment but when she'd asked him she was met with a firm no, claiming he'd never get laid again if his annoying little sister was living with him.

Leaving her trunk off in one of the storage compartments, Bernadette hopped into the train and scanned the compartments as she passed them by, searching for friendly faces. She found Josephine with some of her friends but was quickly shoved out and she spotted Alice making out with her boyfriend, Frank, in another compartment.

"What's with the long face, Nettle?" Sirius Black was hanging out of his own compartment, James' face poked out underneath his arm.

"Thank Jesus!" She heaved a sigh of relief and pushed both boys inside, closing the door behind them. She threw herself down on the seat next to Peter and snatched something that looked like a thin piece of black rope from a packet on his lap. As she bit into it she made a face. "What the fuck is this shite?"

"Liquorice." He grabbed the remainder of her piece and easily downed it. "Muggle sweet my Nan sent me."

She shuddered at the nasty aftertaste and took a swig of the water bottle Remus had handed her. "That's nasty, got any good food?"

Bernadette Sommers was unusually quiet for the rest of the journey, observing her friends' antics with a strange look in her eyes and only speaking when spoken to. They all noticed it but weren't sure what to say so they didn't say anything at all, instead carrying on as they always did.

The Hogwarts Express rattled on past lush green fields, the Trolley Lady came and went and Remus left halfway through the journey to go do his prefect duties. Bernadette knew well she should have been savouring her last few moments with her friends but she couldn't help but let her dread and fear consume her.

It didn't feel like very long before the train began to lessen in speed and her heart slowly crawled up her throat. She didn't want to look at the empty room, the books he never got to read, the old clothes she knew her mother didn't have the heart to get rid of, it was just too much.

"Nettle?" Sirius was the only one left in the compartment, staring worriedly at her. "We've stopped."

She glanced up and spoke in a distant voice. "Oh, yeah...sorry."   
~~

"Bernie, sweetheart!" She spotted her mother squashed in the middle of the crowd, blue eyes lighting up at the sign of her eldest daughter. "Over here!"

Although she had been dreading going home, she wasn't soulless enough to not miss her mother. She dropped her heavy trunk which fell to the ground with a thump and threw herself into her mother's arms. "I missed you so much, Mum!"

"Don't think I've seen you this excited to see me since you were three, you okay?"

"Never better."

After retrieving her trunk from where she'd dumped it, Bernadette and her mother waited patiently for Christopher and Josephine who were taking their time about saying goodbye to their friends. Family after family left the platform and there was still no sign of either of the remaining Sommers siblings. Bernadette didn't care enough to go looking for them and instead scanned the faces of those who were also left waiting.

Her dark eyes brushed over smiling faces and long awaited reunions until they landed on one very sour looking Sirius Black. He was stood opposite a very tall slender man with hollow cheeks, slicked-back black hair and dull beady eyes and a shorter woman who was sneering at him from under a black cap, mouth twisted into an ugly snarl, skin an odd pale white, like a ghost. Regulus stood next to them, ever the dutiful, perfect son, the spitting image of his father.

Her heart broke slightly for her friend, was that how he spent his summers? The people he called family? And she thought she had it bad. Not wanting to get caught staring, she wrenched her gaze away and instead focused on the train where her brother and sister were exiting.

Christopher walked along with a spring in his step, Josephine behind him, lugging both their trunks and glaring venomously at him.

"What's got you so chipper?" Their mother rushed forwards and released Josephine of some of the weight,

"Camille broke up with me."

Bernadette shot him a look. "Is that a good thing? I thought you guys were planning on moving in together? What did you do this time because I didn't think you could sink any lower after forgetting her birthday?"

Christopher scowled at her. "And a right help you were when that happened! But no, she wants to go to Africa and learn wandless magic and can't handle long-distance."

"But why are you so happy then?"

"Are you kidding?" With a proud grin he led them out of King's Cross and went to hail a taxi. "I'm young, hot, single and no longer have some dumb girl holding me back! Things can't get any better!"

"Hey!" Bernadette pushed him into the taxi with her foot. "There's  _three_  dumb girls standing right here and we will not hesitate to hold you back!"

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason I found this chapter so hard to write it was just like I had nothing really to say. Also 'Bohemian Rhapsody' was such a good movie like I was raised on Queen songs so I was very emotional. Anyways, for the next two weeks I'm on work experience, first in my favourite bookshop and then I'm going to what I hope will be my future university to follow around some lecturers.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four: A Lonely Home

**-July 1976-**

Normally, Bernadette felt a rush of excitement when she came home for the summer but that year all she felt was dread. Previously she could look forward to seeing her little brother but now that he was gone, it seemed to suck all the beauty she saw in her home.

Their farm was composed of loads of lush green fields in Scotland, right on the edge of a thick forest which Bernadette had spent her childhood exploring, the very forest her mother had appeared in after escaping her old life. Their house was old with peeling paint and several tiles missing from the roof but it had a homely feel to it. For some reason though, when Bernadette looked upon some of her favourite places in the world, all she felt was empty.

"This isn't healthy, Bernie." Josephine spoke up from behind her as she was stood in the doorway of a now empty bedroom. Nothing had been changed since his death, every single book, picture stuck up on the wall, had been untouched since Christmas.

"I know." The brunette replied despondently. "It's just not the same without him, you know?"

Sighing, Josephine dodged the topic. "You've got mail, Chris already took the courtesy of reading it, though. Nosy fecker."

Bernadette took a few opened envelopes from her sister and rifled through them. A postcard from Lily, who was in Vienna, a letter from Connie, another from Sirius and one from Marlene which was covered in little doodles and stickers.

Laughing, she took out a pink piece of paper which practically screamed 'Marlene McKinnon' and read the messy scrawl.

_Dear Etta,_   
_You would not believe how incredibly bored I am. Mum and Dad are busy in the Ministry so I'm home alone all day and there's absolutely no cute single boys in town. To make matters worse, my roots are horrible and I don't know how to use Muggle dye, I tried to do a test patch on my arm hair and it came out bright red! Sometimes I don't realise how much I need you in my life._

_That brings me to a wonderful proposal. I know you and I know that you're probably wallowing in grief staying in your house without Henry there so I think you should spend the rest of your summer with me. It'd be just like those sleepovers we have every month in my dorm but better! You can get your mind cleared, we can watch those Muggle movies you like so much, meet some boys and you can fix my hair!_

_Seriously though, think about it, I don't want you steeping in your emotions all summer while pretending you're fine when you're not. You deserve to have some fun._   
_Love, Marlene._

Bernadette was surprised to catch herself seriously thinking about accepting Marlene's invitation. As each day passed, she grew more and more desolate and she felt it was slowly eating away at her. A place she used to think was a sanctuary, her home, had become lonely and empty without Henry. In a way it was as though nothing had changed, life went on but she still felt something missing, a great big gaping hole.

Rushing into her bedroom, Bernadette grabbed a piece of slightly crumpled parchment and a quill and began to scribble out a reply.

_Dear Marlene,_   
_You've gone and read my mind again, I'm desperate to escape the hellhole that is my house. The only good thing about being here anymore is my Gran's cooking and the woods. It wasn't so bad when Chris was here but he's just moved out and gotten an apartment in London. He's applying to become an Auror at the Ministry, never thought I'd see the day._

_Of course I'd love to spend the rest of summer at your house though, I'll bring hair dye, shortbread and plenty of tricks I got from Zonko's so we can prank your brothers. We can invite the others over for a week or so too! How fun would that be? Mum will totally let me go, she's dying to get rid of me and my moping so there's no problem there._

_See you soon,_  
 _Bernadette._  
 _P.s Should I bring 'The Princess Bride' or 'Star Wars' or both?_  
~~

Bernadette had spent the whole morning outside, sat on the bench below their kitchen window, trunk by her feet, a Bowtruckle from the forest in hand. She was waiting eagerly to hear the familiar crack of apparation so she could go to Marlene's house. That summer was a particularly high one in the UK, temperatures often higher than 30 degrees, so Bernadette felt as though she was slowly being baked alive.

She felt bad for her father who was stressed about the lack of rain and had to spend the whole day out in the sun. He'd already been badly burnt all over his face, her mother likening him to a tomato and seemed to be in a perpetually bad mood no matter how much lemonade they brought out to him and his farmhands.

Her head perked up at the sound of a loud crack only a few metres away and leapt up excitedly. Marlene's eldest brother, Matthew who was well into his twenties at that point walked up to her looking incredibly tired and as though he wanted to be anywhere but collecting his sister's annoying little friend.

"You're late." She spoke plainly, handing him her trunk. "You were supposed to get me at noon, it's three in the afternoon."

"I know, I know, save me the lecture."

Matthew grabbed her wrist and they turned on the spot. Bernadette had always detested apparating, she always felt as though she were about to be sick, no matter how many times she did it, and sometimes it was just easier to take the Floo or more fun to fly.

When the McKinnon living room materialised around them, deep reds and golds in every corner, distinct Muggle rock music blasting from the kitchen, Bernadette found herself crushed by a pair of arms and her ears harassed by an excited scream.

"Thank God you're here, Etta!" Marlene squeezed her even tighter. "Carlo just sent me a letter and I don't know what to do!"

She pried her friend off of her and tried to get her bearings without getting sick. "I thought you swore you'd never get back with him, Marley! Don't respond!"

"I don't know, he just seemed so apologetic!"

Bernadette began to drag her trunk towards the stairs. "Stop it, I don't want to hear you mention his name for the rest of the summer, in fact, we should head down to town, meet some lads. Whatcha say?"

"Fuck yeah!"  
~~

_Dear Nettle,_   
_How's life at Marlene's? Hope you're not having too much fun without me. Anyways, shit's gone down at my house and I'm desperate to see you again. To make matters worse, I haven't even looked at all that summer homework McGonagall left us. Honestly, we just did our bloody O.W.L.s, what do they want from us now? It's outrageous! Old Minnie can kiss my arse if she thinks I'm even looking at a book this summer._

_That picture you sent me last week of you and Marlene at the fair was so cute that I couldn't help but stick it up on my wall, Mother was pissed, it being a Muggle fair and all so that made it doubly brilliant! Honestly, she hates you already and she's never even met you! Hopefully she never will but the old hag is planning on staying around forever._

_Anyways, I'm thinking of sneaking off to James' house soon, can't take my family much longer but my parents have been watching me like hawks, it sucks royal ass. If you don't hear from me in a few weeks, they've murdered me and you can use this letter as evidence. If I come back as a ghost can I testify against them? Is that legal? Find out for me._

_Love from your best, most handsome male friend/partner-in-crime,_  
 _Padfoot._  
~~

Bernadette sat tiredly at the McKinnon kitchen table, shovelling scrambled eggs and rashers down her throat, while Marlene's father busied himself with cleaning the dishes while singing very loudly and off-key to himself. It had become somewhat of a morning routine, Marlene refusing to get out of bed until after noon and Matthew up early for work so it was just them two in the mornings.

"Aren't the O.W.L. results coming back today?" Marlene's father finished drying off a plate as the young girl choked on her food.

"They are?" Her fork clattered loudly against the plate as it slipped from her loose grasp. "Fuck! Fuck! Fuckity fuck!"

"Watch your language."

"Sorry Mr McKinnon...fuck! That's gonna ruin my day, isn't it?"

Heavy footsteps plodded slowly down the wooden stairs and soon a very messy head of recently dyed blonde hair was poked through the door. "What's with all the yelling? I'm trying to sleep."

"O.W.L. results are coming today."

"Fuck!"

Marlene walked into the kitchen, eyes now as wide as dinner plates and her fingers anxiously raking through her tangled hair. "This is just gonna ruin my day, isn't it? And we were supposed to go to that concert tonight! There's no way I can enjoy it now!"

Bernadette glanced out the window and felt her stomach drop. "I see owls! Marlene I see fucking owls that probably have our results!"

"Would you two calm down?"

"No!"

Marlene opened the window wide and two tawny owls flew in, envelopes tied to their legs. The girls removed them in swift motions and ripped them open as the owls took their leave. Heart pounding in her ears, Bernadette stared down at the piece of paper in front of her.

_ORDINARY WIZARDING LEVEL RESULTS_   
_Pass Grades:Outstanding (O)_   
_Exceeds Expectations (E)_   
_Acceptable (A)_   
_Fail Grades: Poor (P)_   
_Dreadful (D)_   
_Troll (T)_

_BERNADETTE DARCY SOMMERS HAS ACHIEVED:_   
_Astronomy: (A)_   
_Care of Magical Creatures: (O)_   
_Charms: (A)_   
_Defence Against the Dark Arts: (O)_   
_Divination: (A)_   
_Herbology: (O)_   
_History of Magic: (T)_   
_Muggle Studies: (O)_   
_Potions: (E)_   
_Transfiguration: (P)_

Her heart soared, she'd only failed History of Magic and Transfiguration but nobody cared about them and neither were required to become a Magizoologist. She'd gotten a total of eight O.W.L.s (even if she was sure some of her  _Acceptable_ s barely passed) which was more than she ever could have hoped for.

Marlene looked up from her own paper and grinned at her friend. "I think I'm in a perfectly fine mental state to go to that concert."

"Same, I've never felt so smart in my life! I only failed two subjects!"

"Get out!" Marlene snatched her results card and her jaw dropped. "Congrats!"

They engulfed each other in a bone-crushing hug, smiles never leaving their faces. "We're N.E.W.T. students now!"  
 _~~_

Two days had gone since they'd gotten back their results and nothing seemed to be able to bring both girls' spirits down. They'd been sprawled out on the dry grass of Marlene's front garden just after sunset, hair fanned out around their heads like halos as they laughed at a crude joke Bernadette had made. The night air was cool against their freckled skin and the moment seemed almost picture perfect, straight out of a movie, until a loud crack came from only a few feet away.

They bolted upright and grasped for their wands, knowing they could get away with underage magic if it was a Death Eater. The scene they were met with, however, caused their wands to drop lamely to the grass below them.

Connie Farlow stared tearfully at the two girls, her face littered with bleeding gashes, a nasty burn covered the majority of her left arm and her clothes hung off her in rags. Her aunt stood next to her, looking even worse off, missing a large chunk of her hair and bleeding profusely from her head. Bernadette started forwards, all thoughts of questioning their identity out of her mind and wrapped her best friend up in a hug.

"Connie, what happened?" She breathed out shakily, already fearing the worst. Marlene had run inside to fetch her brother and parents for help. "Tell me what happened!"

She felt Connie's knees buckle and they fell to the ground in a heap but their hold on each other only grew tighter with every tiny sob. Bernadette was barely aware of Marlene's family coming out of the house, wands raised defensively until she was pulled out of Connie's hold by Malcolm. 

"What the hell?" She ripped her arm out of Malcolm's grasp.

"We can't be sure if they're really Farlows!" He shot her a stern look but she refused to listen, far too distressed and concerned with helping her friend.

"Of course they are!" Bernadette felt her words getting caught in her throat, tears welling in her eyes but refused to back down. "Connie, how did we first meet?"

"You tried to impress this second year guy by levitating the gravy boat but sent it flying into Professor Flitwick's face and I laughed so hard that I fell out of my seat and just so I didn't feel embarrassed, you sat down on the floor with me." The dark-haired girl responded easily.

"See!" Bernadette moved to hug her best friend again. "It's her!"

A few feet away, Connie's aunt was arguing with Marlene's parents, pale and swaying dangerously on her feet, looking as though she were about to collapse at any second. The night no longer felt picture perfect and more like a horror film brought to life.

"I have to go back!" The woman's voice was scratchy and hoarse, as though she'd been screaming. "My family are there! Just take Connie and I'll be back!"

Marlene's mother, Sandy, was trying to coax the other woman into the house. "Please, Ella, come inside. You know well what will happen if you go back! Just come in and let us help you!"

Bernadette tore her eyes away and instead helped Connie up, smiling grimly at her. "Come on, lets go get you cleaned up."  
~~

Connie had fallen asleep from where they'd left her on the couch, not even stirring as Sandy healed her wounds nor when Bernadette and Marlene had settled themselves on the floor and taken to whispering worriedly about what had transpired. Marlene's parents and Malcolm had holed themselves in the kitchen, likely discussing what on earth they were supposed to do.

"Do you think it was a Death Eater attack?" Marlene whispered breathlessly, never taking her eyes off of Connie's sleeping form.

"What else could it be?"

"Does this mean she'll be taken out of school?"

"Dunno." The brunette grasped her friend's wrist tightly. "I just hope she's okay. Her whole family might be dead now, they were all over for her mum's birthday party."

Marlene's breath hitched. "Don't say that, Etta."

"But they could be!" Her voice rose and her grip tightened. "That's our reality now, Marls! There's a war! People are dying! Good people! Connie might have died had her aunt not brought her here!"

The girl in question shifted slightly and Bernadette lowered her tone. "This can happen to any one of us, we're both blood traitors, Lily and Mary are muggle-borns, we all have big red targets painted on our backs and it doesn't help that I've successfully pissed off some of the most notoriously evil, fucked up kids at our school. We have to do something, we shouldn't just stand by and watch shit hit the fan, we can make a difference. If Dumbledore would only let me join the Order..."

"What's that?"

She caught her slip up and mentally cursed herself for getting so caught up in her whirlwind of emotions. "Nothing, I'll tell you later, the point is, we're doing absolutely nothing to help even though we have full capacity to! It's so unfair because the war is affecting us too! It's just so-so..."

Bernadette felt her rage dissipate and all she felt was sadness. Tears burst from her eyes as her chest heaved, salty drops falling onto Marlene's shirt, staining it with her pain. Her head hurt, pounded, in sync with her heartbeat. She wanted to pull it right from her chest, just in the hopes that it would make her anguish stop.

The world turned to a blur, like smudged ink, colours swam in front of her eyes and the sounds dipped in and out. She was vaguely aware of Marlene crying with her, shouts growing from behind the kitchen door, she felt like a little kid again, scared and hopeless and weak. All she could do was wait for her tears to run dry and for silence to greet them like an old friend. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this is really late (and kinda crappy) but I've been on work experience and Jesus Christ is working retail draining. I have another week in a university but hopefully that won't be as bad and I'll update on time. But anyways, end of part one! This is an omnibus so five more to come even if some are far longer than others.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	26. Part Two: The Storm Hits

September 1976 - August 1977  
"In which Bernadette and her friends struggle through sixth year, trying their best to ignore numerous death threats and that at any given moment one of them may have to go into hiding."

 **ADDITIONAL CAST** :  
Hannah Simone as  **Charlotte May**

_"He's a complete idiot but I love him so I guess that counts for something."_

Cierra Ramirez as  **Emmeline Vance**

_"Life Hack: laminate your study notes so the tears just roll right off."_

Oliver Dale as  **Fabian Prewett**

_"If you thought for a single second we wouldn't join a secret rebel group, you really don't know us, Sommers."_

Luke Newberry as  **Gideon Prewett**

_"Just don't tell my sister, if she found out she'd rip my head off and feed my organs to the Garden Gnomes."_

William Moseley as  **Frank Longbottom**

**_"_ ** _Hey! I do a lot more than just snog my girlfriend! I'm unbeaten in Exploding Snap!"_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Book Two fuck yeah!


	27. Chapter One: Crappy Summer Club

**-September 1976-**

_*EDIT: fixed the bit towards the end so maybe consider re-reading the chapter, also added in bits of dialogue and description*_

Bernadette could recognise the dark, shaggy hair of Sirius Black anywhere and seized her opportunity to take him by surprise, throwing her arms around him with so much force that they both went toppling to the ground. Firstly, he'd scowled at her, probably assuming she'd been James but his face quickly morphed into one of happiness.

As his grip on her tightened, she laughed airily. "Missed me, did you?"

"Like you wouldn't believe."

She buried her face into the crook of his neck, he still smelled like cigarette smoke and cinnamon. For some reason, she'd been terrified that he'd change, suddenly realise he was too cool for her but he'd changed in a different way. His eyes were bloodshot and red-rimmed, hair in desperate need of a trim and he looked as though he'd lost a bit of weight. Her questioning of his health could come later, in a more private place.

Connie loomed over them, lips tugged down into a frown. "Honestly, I take my eyes off you for two seconds and you end up rolling on the filthy floor with-"

"Chill out, Connie, I haven't seen him all summer, leave our reunion in peace."

She huffed and boarded the train, Marlene quick on her heels. She hadn't been the same since her family were attacked, more irritable, quieter, it worried Bernadette but she still thought she'd made the right decision. It was hard, however, to watch her best friend go through all that.

"What's her deal?"

"I'll explain it all later, this summer was pretty eventful to say the least." Bernadette heaved a heavy sigh and helped Sirius to his feet. "Astronomy Tower after curfew?"

His laugh came out tinny and forced. "Do you even need to ask?"   
~~

Lily Evans seemed to be the only one in their group who'd had an okay summer, showing up to their compartment with a beautiful tan, double the amount of freckles on her shoulders and a gift bag filled with little trinkets she'd picked up in France. Nobody dared bring up the subject of her ex-friend, knowing well that they lived in the same neighbourhood and had likely tried to contact her over the break.

Mary was late, as usual, barely managing to throw herself on the train, and arrived at their compartment out of breath and messy-haired, a prefect badge shining proudly on her chest. "God am I gonna miss lie-ins."

"Yeah, fifth year for you now, Mary." Marlene teased her, taking her feet off the seat to make room. "Looking forward to all the stress and the pain and the work?"

Mary accepted a bit of Lily's chocolate bar as she flopped down onto the seat. "You say that like you actually did any work, Marls. Anyways, you guys are N.E.W.T. students now, no time to be hooking up in broom closets when you're supposed to be in History of Magic."

Marlene kicked her, scowling. "That was  _one_  time!"

"Two actually."

"Not helping, Etta."

Lily chuckled, tucking her feet underneath her and wiggling around to get comfortable. "Can we please stop talking about Marlene's sexual activity?"

"Fine," Bernadette leaned forward expectantly. "Go ahead and give us your annual rant on your sister."

Her expression turned sour, face flushing red in anger. "She left home this summer, got a clerical job in London and refused to go on holidays with us. Apparently she's met this guy, Victor or Vernon or something and she's too preoccupied with him to answer our calls!"

"Yikes, sorry Lils." Mary patted her knee sympathetically. "You know she's just jealous, though?"

"Yeah, I bet her new boyfriend's some boring old fat fuck who's gonna be a banker or a salesman or something generic like that. She's probably only going out with him because he's the only guy who can put up with her pettiness." Bernadette huffed.

She'd met Petunia Evans the summer before third year when she came to pick Lily up to stay with her for a few weeks. She recalled the dirty looks shot her way, the offhand commentary and the argument she'd started with her younger sister which ended in two broken picture frames and a bloody nose. To make a long story short, she was not a very pleasant person to be around.

Lily narrowed her eyes. "I dunno, she's just so infuriating! I try so hard to be nice and sisterly but she's made it very clear how much she hates me!"

Not long after her outburst and another bought of complaining about Petunia, Lily and Mary left for the prefect meeting and the rest of the girls entertained themselves with a game of Exploding Snap and mindless chatter about the year to come. Connie was unusually silent, observing from the corner, not even moving when the Trolley Lady came around. Neither of the other girls questioned her, both having been there when it all went down.   
~~

_"But you promised!" Bernadette winced at the sound of Connie's screeching coming from the kitchen, she didn't mean to eavesdrop but it was rather difficult not to considering the circumstances. "You promised me I could finish my education at Hogwarts!"_

_"You were almost killed, Connie, what about that do you not understand?"_

_Connie's parents had shown up the morning after the attack, bloody and exhausted but in a hurry to meet with their contacts in America, hoping that'd keep them safe from Death Eaters. Their daughter, however,_ _was not willing_ _to go without a fight._

_"I do understand, Mum! But I'm safe at Hogwarts, safer there than anywhere else! You-Know-Who wouldn't dare attack Hogwarts, you know that!"_

_Bernadette glanced to her right where Marlene was sat, a copy of 'Witch Weekly' open in her lap but her eyes were not reading the words, instead staring blankly at the corner of the page. The voices had suddenly become very quiet, now only faint mumblings which she couldn't quite make out through the kitchen door._

_"I'm not going and that's final!"_

_Both girls jumped at the sudden volume, breath catching in their throats, they'd never heard Connie so emotional before, she'd always been one to hide it, refusing to show any weakness. It was jarring to see such a different side to her, to watch her walls crumble around her. It made Bernadette want to scream and cry at the same time._

_"We can't just leave you here, Connie." They could barely make out her father's soft voice._

_Connie mumbled something neither of them could hear until the door slammed open, rattling the pictures on the walls and she stormed out, sitting down decidedly on Bernadette's other side. Her cheeks were glistening with tears, eyes bloodshot._

_"Sorry," Her voice was hoarse. "My parents are going into hiding, my whole family is, actually...can I stay at your house for the rest of the summer, Marlene?"_

_Surprised at being addressed, the blonde stumbled over her words, mouth opening and closing like a fish. "O-of course."_  
~~

The rest of the train ride passed peacefully, Lily and Mary came back, giggling about some second years that had tried to start a duel and for the first time in years, James Potter did not come over to annoy Lily. Bernadette waited the whole journey for his face to pop around the corner, a telling smirk on his lips but he never did and when she asked Lily if he'd approached her while she was on prefect duty, the answer was a swift no. Alice had also joined them briefly to exchange news before running off with Frank, not to be seen for the rest of the journey.

After the train had rolled into Hogsmeade Station, the girls ran up to the carriages, cold night air nipping at their noses and turning their cheeks red. Just as they piled in through the door, Bernadette rather preoccupied with thoughts of the magnificent feast waiting for her, Connie stopped short, a look of horror on her face.

"You okay?" Mary had looked back in concern.

The rest of the girls were silenced in their laughter and they all turned to peer at Connie.

"What  _are_  they?" She'd taken a few tentative steps towards the front of the carriage, staring into thin air. Her friends exchanged looks, worried for her mental state.

"There's nothing there, Connie." Lily whispered, the air seeming to drop a few degrees. "Get in the carriage."

Connie's face paled and she tore her eyes off of whatever she was staring at. "You can't see them?"

Bernadette hopped out of the carriage and placed herself next to Connie, her eyes finally able to make out huge, winged, skeletal horses, pitch black and barely visible in the night. Her breath caught in her throat as she stared at them, shoulders tensing and a shaky hand wrapping itself in Connie's.

"Thestrals." She breathed, all signs of a good mood dissipating like smoke. Of course, she just had to be reminded of what had happened last winter.

Connie's head snapped to Bernadette, looking far more hopeful. "Yeah! You can see them?"

"Yeah but...I've never actually seen them before now, only certain people can." She felt as though there was a rock in her stomach and really didn't want to say the next sentence. "Only people who have seen death can see Thestrals."

There was a long pause in which nobody dared to say a word, a chill setting deep into their bones.

"Oh."

Bernadette remembered Hagrid once telling her about the Thestrals which pulled the school carriages and she'd had a vague mental image of what they looked like but in real life, they were so different. Those blank eyes staring back at her, spiny, bat-like wings, nightmare fuel. Normally, she'd consider herself a lover of even the most dangerous creatures but there was just something about these ones that rubbed her the wrong way.

The ride up to the castle was awkward, nobody wanting to talk about the invisible horses of death pulling them up the dirt path or the fact that it meant Connie had seen someone die over the summer, most likely one of her relatives. Not exactly an easy topic to ignore when it was hanging so obviously in the air. It didn't help that they now also had Bernadette's dead younger brother was now haunting their memories.

The brunette Hufflepuff did her best to stick a silly grin on her face, not wanting to attract too much attention to her sorrow and ignore the pain nagging at her, it was for the best that she did not let her emotions get the better of her. She refused to cry, she had to be strong, for her best friend.

Connie was silent all throughout dinner as well, picking disinterestedly at some mashed potatoes Bernadette had dumped on her plate while ignoring the casual conversation her three dorm mates were trying to include her in. Bernadette quickly gave up, knowing it was best just to leave her be a bit and made sure she got up the the dorm okay, taking off her shoes for her and drawing the curtains around her bed.

Jane and Jasmine decided against questioning Connie's state after the look Bernadette had shot them and instead engaged in a quiet game of Wizard's Chess while the remaining occupant of the room, lay silently, staring at the ceiling and waiting for the minutes to tick by.

It felt like an eternity before Jane and Jasmine had gone to bed and another eternity until she was sure they were asleep and could safely slip out. Narrowly dodging Peeves and a wandering Bloody Baron, she slipped up the stairs leading to the Astronomy Tower and took them two at a time, a pack of cigarettes in one hand and a flask of tea in the other.

"You're early."

He whipped around to face her, cigarette already dangling from his lips which slowly stretched into a smile. "I know, everyone conked out after the feast so I thought I'd head up while I had the chance."

She settled herself down next to him, legs dangling over the railing and hugged the huge jumper she'd stolen from Christopher more tightly around herself as a sudden gust of wind tugged at her hair and nipped at her nose. "Smart thinking, anyways, tell me about everything that happened this summer."

"You go first." He gave her an odd look but she brushed it off.

"God, it was mad." She took a long drag of her cigarette, already feeling herself start to relax. "You've read my letters, how shit it was back at home. Thought my summer was looking up when I went to Marlene's but then..."

"What?"

"I probably shouldn't be telling you this...fuck it...promise you won't tell anyone."

"Cross my heart." He did indeed cross his heart, fingers dragging across his wrinkled shirt.

She knew it wasn't right to gossip, especially concerning subjects so sensitive as Connie's but Sirius was her friend, she trusted him and he had this strange thing about him that made her just want to spill all her secrets to him.

"Connie's family was attacked by Death Eaters just a few weeks before school started again, her dad wrote this article in his magazine...You-Know-Who decided to make an example of him. Connie came to Marlene's, to see her like that...broke my heart." Her words were slow, carefully picked out, calculated. "First I lose my baby brother and now I could potentially lose my best friend too. All in all, pretty crappy summer if you ask me."

She leaned her head on his shoulder, feeling a bit of the tension dropping off her but her hands still shaky and ice cold, her grip on the cigarette tight as though she were afraid it would fall from her grasp. "Enough complaining from my part, tell me about yours, I'm positively dying to know since you were so secretive in your letters."

Sirius frowned and refused to look anywhere but at his dangling feet, opening his mouth and closing it a few times, as though not sure where to start. "Well...I was disowned."

"What?" Her cigarette tumbled from her loose grip and down towards the ground far below them.

He laughed unhumorously. "Yeah, probably should've seen it coming."

"Why didn't you tell me sooner?"

"Didn't want to ruin your summer."

"Bit late for that." She took his hand up in her own and squeezed it reassuringly. Suddenly her own problems seemed inconsequential and all her worry and pain was felt for him. "What did you do?"

He squeezed back. "Had another argument with my parents, ran away and I guess it was the last straw. The old hag even blasted my face off the family tree, to show me I'm not welcome back, she made that very clear in her Howler. Stayed with Prongs, as you know, that was okay. Euphemia and Fleamont are great, really took me in, wouldn't take no for an answer."

"And I thought I had it rough." Bernadette wasn't sure what she was feeling. Pity? No. "You know, we should start a club or something."

"What are you on about, Nettle?"

"Like a...Crappy Summer Club. I mean, so many of us had a shitty two months, really, we need a support group."

"That is the most stupid thing I've ever heard in my life." The thick tension in the air seemed to melt a bit as he laughed. "I think we're better suited to a club garnered towards tragic childhoods."

"And do I qualify?"

"Of course!" He seemed much more like the boy she knew and loved. "Welcome to the club of tragic childhoods, current members: me and you."

"Wow, I feel so special!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Had my ballet exam today, let's pray I didn't fail because apparently the way I've been learning fourth arabesque my whole life is wrong and now I have an audition tomorrow which I probably won't make the cut for. In other news, ITS CHRISTMAS MOTHERFUCKERS! We put up our decorations today and you can't understand how happy I am.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	28. Chapter Two: Cruelty

**-September 1976-**

"Sprout can suck my dick if she thinks I'm doing that homework." Marlene trudged down the hallway, already exhausted despite it only being their first day of classes.

"Why'd you do Herbology anyways?" Lily rolled her eyes. "You think the soil ruins your nails and that the plants are gross."

"I mean, if I had my way I wouldn't have to do any classes but I had another subject slot to fill and thought this would be easy. Should've done Muggle Studies instead."

Bernadette rolled her eyes from beside her. "At least you've got DADA with me next! Ready to terrorise our new teacher?"

Marlene visibly perked up. "Am I ever? It's one the highlights of the year!"

Once Lily had separated from them to go to her Alchemy class, Bernadette whispered to Marlene. "Snape's taking the class too so we can have a bit of fun from that standpoint too."

They shared a look of excitement, eyes giddy. Nobody had said anything about the boy since last June, not wanting to upset Lily but now that she was nowhere around, they were free to take revenge. It wasn't as if they were planning some huge scheme to completely ruin his life, they were more just looking to severely inconvenience him and perhaps cause a bit of embarrassment in front of his peers.

Rushed footsteps came up behind them and Bernadette felt two hands on her shoulders as they were joined by the boys, James and Sirius taking up the front while Peter scampered after them and Remus walked behind them looking tired.

"What are you two scheming?" James reached over to ruffle Marlene's hair. "Anything we'd want to be a part of?"

"If humiliating greasy little twerps is your thing then yes."

They all shared a look, identical grins spreading across their lips. The next fifty minutes were about to be an awful lot of fun.

Making sure to snag the line of desks at the back of the classroom, they eagerly watched the other students fill the seats, all eyes trained on the door waiting for Severus Snape to walk in. Finally he did, keeping his head low and his books close to his chest. His hair had grown longer over the summer, now perfectly concealing his face and every so often his hand would ghost over his left forearm.

The new teacher, a hunched over old man who used a knotted old cane as a walking stick and appeared as though he were about to collapse over dead any minute, had introduced himself briefly as Professor Dawson and then turned his back to the class and began scribbling down words on the chalkboard.

Out of the corner of her eye she saw James raise his wand under the desk and aim it at the back of a particular greasy head. Huge antlers sprouted from his head but he didn't appear to notice. Many students around snickered, glancing back at James who was smirking triumphantly.

After a few seconds, Bernadette took up her own wand and whispered an almost silent  _"Furnunculus"_. Huge boils sprouted up on Snape's exposed skin and it was then that he also took notice of the antlers, a confused and boil-covered hand feeling them in shock. He put up his hand, probably to ask to go to the Hospital Wing but the professor took no notice, far too preoccupied with his note writing.

Sirius whispered something under his breath from her right and two huge leeks grew from Snape's ears. Marlene had begun to giggle incessantly, face turning red. In all fairness, Snape looked incredibly silly, antlers, boils and leeks coming out of his ears.

He had clearly grown tired of the professor ignoring him so he spoke up. "Professor may I please-"

He was cut off as Peter had shot  _Langlock_  at him, fixing his tongue to the roof of his mouth and Marlene's face was now buried in her arms, shoulders shaking with silent laughter.

"What is it my boy?" The professor didn't seem to register Snape's odd appearance. "Spit it out, I'm in the middle of a class."

Snape knocked his chair back onto his floor and went to flee the room but not before Bernadette had the chance to whisper " _Locomotor Wibbly_ " and he fell to the ground, legs collapsing underneath him. Marlene had completely lost it by that point, tears streaming down her reddened cheeks and hitting the desk in between poorly-concealed laughs.

"Nice one, Nettle." Sirius shot her a wink and they high-fived under the table.

Snape managed to haul himself back up to his feet and staggered out of the door, dozens of eyes fixed on his figure as he stumbled down the hall. Professor Dawson sighed briefly before turning his back to the class once again and resuming his writing. Bernadette couldn't lie, she was surprised they hadn't been punished when it was so obviously them tormenting their classmate. Maybe Defence Against the Dark Arts was about to become a much more enjoyable class now she knew the professor wasn't bothered.  
~~

_Bernie,_   
_How's Hogwarts? Honestly, I'm kinda missing the place, London is mad. I've got a muggle apartment in the middle of the city and it is the most overpriced shithole I've ever seen but it's close to the Ministry. I don't know if Mum and Dad have told you yet but they accepted my application and I've started training to be an Auror. Barely scraped the marks thanks to the absolute nightmare N.E.W.T. Transfiguration was but they liked my interview so it was no bother. I've also got a part-time job in a bookshop down the road from my place and I gotta say that retail is hard fucking work._

_I'm hoping to see you at Christmas since we didn't get to spend any time together this summer, I'm genuinely missing my annoying little sister. The guys in work are sick of me going on about you and Joey, they think you're mental from all the stories I tell. But I haven't even told them the worst since those involve magic and they're obviously muggles. A lot of them are trying to convince me to grow my hair out into a "mullet", apparently I have a good face for one._

_And I met this girl, Charlotte, she's interning at the Daily Prophet and she is the most exquisite woman I have ever met. She said she went to Beauxbatons, you know that French Wizarding School? She doesn't seem too interested but I'm sure I'll win her over eventually with my undeniable charm and wit._

_That's it really, adult life is pretty boring, just paying the bills and now having the opportunity to complain about your mortgage, expecting a fast reply because you have nothing else better to do with your life._

_Your devilishly handsome brother,_   
_Chris._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late, I know but...fuck it. Still buzzing over the fact that I passed my audition so I'm now in the main company for LYDC and there's gonna be a show! We're also doing a dance video in the summer so I'll put the link on here so I can show off when it's done. I was obsessively checking my email in school because I'm a total control freak and when I got it I literally screamed and it's even better because one of my ballet friends got in too. Also sorry this is so shit...  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	29. Chapter Three: Cinnamon and Shortbread

**-September 1976-**

"Remind me again why I decided to continue Potions for N.E.W.T. level?" Marlene grumbled as they took their seats towards the back of the Potions room. There was a large cauldron on each of the four tables in the room, theirs possessing one of a deep gold colour which was emitting the most beautiful scent Bernadette had ever smelled.

"Because you wanna get into Slug Club this year."

"Oh right, really I just want an excuse to get all dressed up and eat tiny food."

Lily snorted. "It's not that great, rather dull actually."

"That because you've never been to one with us." Marlene hooked her arm around Bernadette's shoulders and pulled her close. "We are so much fun at parties!"

"Why's the whole room stink of my shampoo?" Connie spoke for the first time that day, surprising her friends, all their eyes landing on her. "And...mint? Ink and...tulips?"

Bernadette's brow furrowed, she honestly didn't have a clue what Connie was talking about, the room smelled like cinnamon, her gran's homemade shortbread, wet earth and something she couldn't quite identify, a musky scent which seemed very familiar although she just couldn't place it.

"No it doesn't," Marlene gave her an odd look. "If anything it smells like rose water, thyme and...cottage pie?"

A look of realisation flashed across Lily's face and she suddenly looked very pink. "I'm pretty sure that's Amortentia. Strongest love potion in the world, smells different to every person depending on what attracts them."

"Well done, Miss Evans!" A voice boomed behind them, startling them as they hadn't realised Professor Slughorn's arrival. "Ten points to Gryffindor!"

"I wonder what Daniel smells?" Bernadette felt her heart leap, was there a chance that the smell she wasn't sure of could be him? Maybe she could ask him what he smelled and work around it. Was that manipulation? No more like gentle persuasion.

"Probably glue." Marlene whispered back as Slughorn made his way to the table in front of theirs where the five Slytherins who'd taken Potions were all sat, occasionally throwing dirty looks behind them at James and Sirius who were levitating their copies of ' _Advanced Potion Making_ ' and dropping them on Remus' head.

"Now, take out your scales, potions kits and your books please." As he turned to face them the buttons on his waistcoat strained and threatened to pop off. "As you can see, I have prepared some potions for you to have a look at, something I do for all my sixth year classes. After completing your N.E.W.T.s, these are the kinds of potions you should be able to prepare. Miss Evans has already identified Amortentia over by her table, why don't you repeat yourself for those who weren't listening?"

Lily shifted uncomfortably in her seat at the sudden attention but spoke confidently. "Amortentia, identified by its mother-of-pearl sheen and characteristic steam spirals. It's the most powerful love potion in the world and smells different to everyone based on what attracts them."

Cue some very embarrassed teenagers, Bernadette did not miss James' flaming red ears or the sudden tensing of Sirius' shoulders and made a mental note to pester him about his live life later that night.

"Couldn't have said it better myself." Slughorn swelled with pride and Bernadette feared he'd pop like a balloon. "Now, what of this?"

He was now standing above a plain black cauldron which seemed to contain only boiling water inside. "Yes, Mr. Snape?"

"Veritaserum, forces the drinker to tell the truth, both colourless and odourless."

Marlene pretended to upheave the contents of her stomach on the floor and made a face at the back of Snape's head while the brunette beside her giggled incessantly.

"Ten points to Slytherin! Moving on," His huge form drifted over to the table where a few Ravenclaws and Hufflepuffs were sat at, Bernadette and Connie's roommate, Jasmine, wedged into the middle. "You may not know this one, it's incredibly difficult to make and these days people much prefer to use Cloaking Charms."

Snape's hand flew up again. "Polyjuice Potion, turns the drinker into anyone whose DNA they possess for a limited amount of time."

Bernadette raised herself slightly in her chair to peer into the cauldron, a thick, mudlike substance bubbling away inside. She gagged even at the thought of having to drink it, leaning in closer to the cauldron of Amortentia to try and make herself feel better.

"Very good." He had now migrated over to James, Sirius, Remus and three Ravenclaw boys whose names had escaped her mental clutch. A small black cauldron was placed carefully in the middle, filled with what appeared to be molten gold. "Finally, the prize for the end of the lesson. Can anybody tell me what it-"

Before he'd even finished, Snape had spoken up in an awed and excited whisper. "Felix Felicis, liquid luck."

The class broke out in an ecstasy of whispering, now he had their rapt attention. Bernadette had heard of Felix Felicis from her mother before, who had tried to brew some in their kitchen one night before an interview she was dreading and subsequently melted their dining table.

"Well done, take another ten points." Slughorn picked the cauldron up in both hands, all eyes now trained on it, and led it to the front of the room where he left it on his desk. "Tricky to brew and disastrous if done incorrectly but if not, all your endeavours tend to succeed or at least until the effects wear off."

Marlene's hand flew up, Bernadette had never seen her give a professor such undivided attention. "How long will that last you, sir?"

"This bottle is enough for twelve hours of good luck."

Bernadette raised her own arm. "Can it expire, sir, or can you store it away for long periods of time and use it say...years later?"

"Why of course, if stored correctly, it can last for decades."

A slow smile spread across her face, she could use some of that, twelve years of good luck could be enough to end a war. She knew well it wasn't likely she'd win it but there was no harm in trying. Perhaps Lily would be more successful, Potions truly was her forte but then again, Snape was likely to beat her out.

"Now, the potion I will have you brew today is the Draught of Living Death on page ten. I must warn you, it's complicated, far more than anything you would've done before, and I don't expect a perfect potion from anybody. However, the person who does the best will be winning the Felix Felicis here. Off you go!"  
~~

"Congrats, Lils!" Bernadette slung an arm around her form as they left the dungeon, hair huge and frizzy from the excessive amounts of steam. "Not gonna lie, thought Suck-Up-Snape would get it but he was a bit of an idiot for not checking his cauldron before adding in the sopophorous bean juice. Honestly, how'd he miss the spilled Erumpent horn powder in his potion?"

Lily stopped dead in her tracks and slowly turned to face her friend. "Bernadette Sommers, you did not!" Despite her angry stature, a small grin worked its way across her lips.

"Well Slughorn was pretty preoccupied fawning over you and Snape 'coincidently' had to rush to the bathroom so I took my chance. Nobody saw me and even if they did, they dislike him just as much as we do. And you gotta admit it was priceless when Sluggy tried to pry the melted cauldron out of the floor." Bernadette was especially proud of herself for that, it had managed to make even Connie chuckle.

Lily shook her head in mock disappointment. "Sometimes I genuinely worry about you."

"Call it curiosity, call it pyromania, whatever, I'm living my best life!"   
~~

The rest of their first week passed with little hassle despite the constant nagging from professors who were already on their cases about N.E.W.T.s. Bernadette, however, could not feel any sort of worry for her exams such as she had for her O.W.L.s. Over the summer she had come to the sudden realisation of just how real this war was and she couldn't help but feel as though her exams were nothing more than an inconvenience.

Every morning, her classes became less and less of a priority with every devastating headline reading news of another dead family of muggles. Even more of a shock came when she found herself recognising names in the articles, many students who had just left the school, both Death Eaters and victims causing her heart to ache.

Clearly, current events were also taking a toll on Connie, she grew more despondent every day. She hadn't had any contact with her family since the attack that summer, she couldn't, they were in hiding. Bernadette felt helpless, watching her friend struggle so and knowing that she could do absolutely nothing to help but she was also malcontented as Connie's tragedy could have been avoided.

"Why so pensive?" Sirius had asked her one Saturday night (or rather early Sunday morning). "You've got that look on your face, when you're thinking hard about something."

"I make a face?"

"Oh yeah, your nose scrunches up and you glare into empty space, it's not cute." He nudged her shoulder. "But really, what's up?"

Bernadette groaned. "I don't know...I guess I'm just mad at the world. I mean, I'm stuck in this hellhole studying Charms when I should be out there, fighting, making a difference, you know?"

"Sucks major arse, doesn't it?"

"Took the words right outta my mouth." She lowered herself down so that she was lying on the ground, staring up at the ceiling. "Can we change the subject? Cheer me up, Padfoot, I need it."

He flopped down next to her. "Fine, um...you know in Potions class?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"What did you smell coming from the Amortentia?"

A soft smile graced her lips as she remembered the heavenly scent. "Cinnamon, my gran's homemade shortbread, freshly mown grass, don't tease me for this but wet earth and then something else I couldn't quite identify. I think it's a person, musky, kinda smokey, you know? Anyways, what about you? I saw you blushing when Slughorn said it's based on what attracts you, don't think I missed it, Black!"

She moved her hand to her left so she could poke him teasingly in the stomach, laughing quietly, letting her troubles drift to the back of her mind so she could talk about unimportant matters with her friend. "Did you smell that girl you may or may not love?"

Sirius looked at her oddly before recalling his elaborate lie last May in an attempt to make her jealous. "Oh...I got leather, chocolate, chamomile tea, cigarette smoke and..."

"And...?" She'd rolled onto her side and was staring at him with wide, expectant eyes. It was t like he could just tell her outright that he'd smelled her conditioner in the love potion, it'd surely scare her off and he'd much rather be pining from afar than not having her as a friend at all.

"Um...broom polish."

Her face fell slightly, disappointed yet a part of her knew he was blatantly lying. "Aw, I was sure you had a crush, I could probably set you up but you wouldn't need me with your good looks and all. No girl can resist Sirius Black."

"You'd be surprised."

"You kidding?" She looked at him incredulously. "Girls and boys are practically tripping over themselves to win your affections. Don't sell yourself short, you're amazing."

He chuckled unhumorously. "I know a few people who don't seem to be part of the majority."

"Then fuck 'em!" She cried, throwing her hands into the air. "Not literally...unless you want to...but they are clearly not deserving of you or your greatness."

"Enough of the feel-good, positivity bullshit." He finally met her stare and poked her cheek. "Just let me complain about my sorrows and failed relationships."   
~~

_Mum and Dad,_   
_How's the farm? Gran? Thanks for present by the way, I'm never object to fudge and the socks were a nice add in, Mum's idea I expect since she knows well how cold the castle gets? School's a bit shit at the moment, not gonna lie, atmosphere is at an all time low and the professors are already pestering us about N.E.W.T.s. I'm sick of it, honestly._

_Has Chris written to you yet? He had plenty to say in his letter to me earlier this week and you'll be happy to hear he's found a new girl, Charlotte or something. He says muggle apartments are crap though and he wishes he'd just stayed in a wizarding area. I told him so ages ago but he never listens to me nor do I think he ever will. Cheek of him!_

_Joey's doing good I think, haven't seen her much since school started, she's busy with Quidditch practice and her friends. She's becoming quite popular, you know, following after me, of course. She's already started studying for her O.W.L.s and has told me that she's so busy preparing for exams she won't have for another two years that she wanted me to pass on her thanks for sending on those books she forgot and for the tin of biscuits._

_I love you guys, already looking forward to seeing you at Christmas (maybe consider my suggestion of spending the holidays in Barcelona),_   
_Your darling daughter,_   
_Bernie._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Went dress shopping with my mum for the TY Ball and found this gorgeous gown that I looked stunning in but it's pretty expensive and super extra but if anyone was gonna be That Bitch™ it'd be my ass. And I still need to find a date. Honestly, I go to an all girls school, have done my whole life, all my extra-curricular stuff is all female, how am I supposed to meet boys? Woe is me.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	30. Chapter Four: Sudden Peril

**-October 1976-**

Bernadette was sat out by the Black Lake, back rested against a tree and occasionally chucking in bits of cereal stolen from breakfast into the water and watching it being sucked beneath the surface. The weather had become increasingly colder as September drifted into October so she'd been bundling herself up in hats and gloves and scarves until she was barely visible underneath all the layers.

For once, she was alone by choice, as December neared the anniversary of Henry's death loomed over her, even more so than it had in the summer and it was hard. She couldn't believe it had almost been a year, it felt like so much less but unfortunately, the fateful day was rushing closer and closer. And it most certainly didn't help that there was a war raging on, her best friend was going through some shit or that her romantic life (or lack thereof) was in shambles.

"Hey."

She jumped and whirled around, startled, half expecting to see Sirius Black, as he had made quite the habit of interrupting her thought process when they met up to smoke. Instead, she found herself looking up at one Daniel White and her heart began to thump so loudly she was sure he could hear it.

"Hey." Racking her brain desperately for something else to say as he sat down next to her, she could come up with nothing better than a pathetic. "Shit weather, am I right?"

"I don't know, I kinda like the cold."

"Me too!" She'd blurted out without thinking, turning a deep shade of maroon and hoped he hadn't caught on to the contradiction. "Um...anyways, what brings you out so early?"

His breath was coming out in puffs of smoke as he wrapped his Ravenclaw scarf tighter around his neck and shivered. "Saw you sitting out here from the library window and thought you looked lonely, thought I'd give you some company."

Her breath caught in her throat and her brain went into overdrive, her cheeks become hot against the wind. She couldn't believe he'd gone out of his way to come talk to her, she was half convinced that she was still sleeping blissfully away in her dorm and dreaming of charming young Ravenclaws meeting her by the lake.

"I'm not lonely, couldn't be when Sirius won't leave me alone." She laughed quietly at the thought of the boy who always seemed to pop up when she needed him most. "But I appreciate the thought."

Daniel grimaced very briefly at the mention of Bernadette's friend but in an instant, his twinkling smile was back and he'd moved slightly closer to her. "You going on the next Hogsmeade trip?"

She nodded. "Oh yeah, super excited, gotta get started on buying Christmas presents or else I'll leave it till the last minute like every other year and be in a total panic!"

"You going with...anyone in particular?"

Bernadette furrowed her eyebrows, not quite sure where the conversation was headed. "Probably just my friends, maybe not Connie though, she didn't want to go to the last one, I don't really blame her but...you know."

"Then maybe-"

"Hey Nettle!" Her head whipped around to see Sirius Black walking down towards them from the castle, a flask in one hand and the familiar piece of worn parchment known as the Marauders Map in the other, high winds tugging at his shaggy hair. "What are you doing out here? It's fucking freezing!"

He sat himself on her other side and passed her the flask, seemingly refusing to ignore Daniel who was giving him a death stare. "I brought you tea."

"My saviour, oh won't you marry me already!" She pulled him into a one-armed hug and spun the top of the flask off, spirals of steam wafting out into the cold air. "It's like you can read my mind!"

"I'd best be off then." Daniel got to his feet with a grunt. "Nice talking to you, Bernadette."

"Oh," slightly dejected, she smiled tautly at him. "Right back atcha."

As her eyes trailed after his retreating figure which grew smaller and smaller as he ventured further away, the remaining boy beside her scoffed. "Why on earth does he call you Bernadette? Not even you parents do!"

Face pink she huffed lightly. "Well why do you call me 'Nettle'?"

"You know why I call you that," he defended himself, tapping the tip of her nose playfully. "Sure, you were there when I came up with the nickname!"

She thought for a second. "Fair enough, still, he's too attractive to not let him call me whatever he wants."

"Gross." He wrinkled his nose in disgust. "Anyways, how about the next Hogsmeade trip? You, me, Zonko's and enough Butterbeer to fell an Erupent."

She chuckled into her steaming flask. "If I ever declined such an offer, I'd recommend you to kill me because that is most certainly not Bernadette Sommers and rather likely a Death Eater wearing my skin like a morbid fur coat."   
~~

_Dear Bernadette,_   
_Judging from your adamant refusal to reply to my letters, I'm guessing you don't want anything to do with me. I'm not going to lie to you, it infuriates me but there's no time for that. I spent many hours debating over whether I should write this, warn you and I hope I've made the correct decision. If I am killed for it, all I can do is pray you remember me for trying to help._

_We are organising another attack, this time on your parents. I swear to you, on my life, that I'm not lying. I do not know what has come over me, to want to stop this from happening. Don't mistake it for buried feelings for your mother, I still despise that woman more than anybody else. I suppose, I wouldn't want you to blame me, for doing nothing to prevent the attack, to save you from even more loss._

_Do reconsider my proposition,_   
_I love you,_   
_William._

Dumbledore lifted his gaze from the piece of parchment and settled his eyes on the two young girls who sat anxiously before him, cheeks stained with tears, eyes bloodshot, hands clasped in the middle of their chairs. Two sisters who were terrified of losing their family.

"Well?" Bernadette Sommers' voice was croaky, as though she'd been screaming. "Is there anything we can do?"

"I'll send word to your mother at once, for now...help yourselves to some lemon drops." He stood up from his desk, sliding the letter back across to the siblings and crossed the room to his perching Phoenix, Fawkes who had been staring at them with what felt only like pity.

Neither of the girls moved an inch, simply staring at the letter from their half-brother in fear, as if it might burn them if they went to touch it. Bernadette had received it not a half hour ago, immediately running to find Josephine, having had enough of the secrecy and hiding William's continuous efforts to contact her. They'd spent a few minutes freaking out, understandably so, unsure as to whether they should believe his words before agreeing to see the Headmaster about their predicament.

"How long has he been sending you letters?" Josephine whispered.

"A while." She felt the guilt welling up in her throat. "I usually don't read them but...I had a bad feeling."

The younger girl sighed and shook her head. "Why didn't you tell me, Bernie?"

"Didn't want to worry you. This past year has just been...a bit shit, I didn't want to bring even more bad news." She caught Josephine's gaze, looking to see if there was any sort of resentment hidden there, not knowing whether to be relieved when all she saw was fear. "I'm sorry, Joey."

Bernadette was overwhelmed, exhausted, angry, she had been for some time, but this was the last straw. Her family was officially in danger and she couldn't just sit by and watch that happen. She was tired of doing absolutely nothing. If Dumbledore wouldn't let her help, she supposed she'd just have to find her own way to do it. How? Well that was the tricky bit but she'd figure it out...eventually.  
~~

In a rush of emerald flames, Bertha Sommers shot out of Dumbledore's fireplace, sooty and panic-stricken. She was in her nightgown and hair rollers, wand in hand. Both her daughters darted forwards at the sight of her, wrapping their arms tightly around her, breathing sighs of sheer relief.

Bernadette wasted no time in interrogations. "Are you okay? What about Dad? Gran? I swear if William so much as  _dares_  to-"

She had feared the worst, that her mother would not show up at all, too busy fending for her life, incredibly outnumbered and trying her best to protect her husband and mother-in-law. The wait had been horrible, a half hour of nail-biting terror, poisonous thoughts wrapping around her and consuming her, making it difficult to breath, every in and out a strenuous labour.

Her mother silenced her by cupping her tear-stained cheeks with her hands. "Bernie-Bernie sweetheart, we're all fine, calm down."

She slowly let out a breath through her lips and nodded. "...Sorry."

Dumbledore looked oddly unperturbed by the scene before him and cleared his throat. "If you would take a seat."

The three women listened, sinking down into the seats facing the headmaster's desk and linked hands underneath in silent solidarity, united yet all positively petrified of what was to come. With bated breath, Bernadette stared at the spectacled man, heart pounding and blood rushing in her ears so loudly she feared she would miss what he was about to say.

"It appears as though we must discuss...arrangements due to recent events and let's try to make this as brief as possible. Bertha, am I correct in assuming you have a plan in the case such a circumstance might occur?"

Brushing some greying hair out of her face she spoke. "Yes, Andrew and I arranged a hideout location not long after William left. After they started attacking Wizarding families we got ready so we could leave at the drop of a hat and..."

With every word her mother spoke, Bernadette felt more and more like she was about to get sick all over Dumbledore's desk filled with odd trinkets and important documents. She couldn't imagine leaving Hogwarts, her friends, her second home. Sure, classes could be a bit shit but...she couldn't just up and leave. She didn't want to go to some secret location, pretend to be a muggle, say goodbye to Bernadette Darcy Sommers for perhaps forever.

Her empty bed in the dorm, no more late night (or rather early morning) chats with Sirius, the rumours of what happened to her, the satisfaction it would give Snape and his peers, missing out on the full moons, not going on to join the Order with her friends, she couldn't do it.

She opened her mouth, ready to object but quickly shut it again, deciding against it. She couldn't put her family in danger. If she didn't go, Josephine wouldn't and then her parents wouldn't, her grandmother would outright refuse to leave the farm if they weren't coming. But...she couldn't help but be selfish.

"No."

"Excuse me, sweetheart?" Bertha turned to look at her eldest daughter in surprise at being interrupted.

Bernadette wiped her sweaty palms on her jeans, gathering up all her courage and deciding that she quite deserved to be selfish for once. "I'm not going with you, sorry Mum."

Her mother furrowed her eyebrows, the crease between them sharpening. "You mean...you're not going into hiding?"

"No." The air quite suddenly felt very hot and thick, lying on her exposed arms like a poison, seeping into her skin and burning it. Her head felt foggy, as though she'd guzzled too much firewhiskey in one go but she was determined she would not relent. "I'm staying here, at Hogwarts, until I graduate. I'm safest here, You-Know-Who won't try anything, let alone William. I'm sorry but, you can't change my mind."

Knowing well that if she stayed in there a moment longer she either would ave screamed or collapsed, Bernadette rose up shakily from her chair and walked straight out of Dumbledore's office, the light reflecting off of his many trinkets swirling in front of her like a kaleidoscope.

Once she was in the hall, breathing cool air, empty space all around her, she began to regain her senses. The stone of the wall was hard against her back, it's chill setting into her bones and she stretched her feet out in front of her, mind still a generally hazy mess of confusion. 

She heard the office door open and shut and she felt someone lower themselves to sit down next to her, taking her limp hand up in their own. "It's okay, Bernie. I know it's tough and...I don't want to stand in your way, darling. I can't say I'm completely comfortable with it but...if it's what you want."

Like a switch was flicked inside her brain, the fog cleared. "Does that mean I can stay?"

A tearful nod. The brunette launched herself at her mother, engulfing her in an even tighter hug than before, she didn't know when she'd see her next, could be weeks, months, years. "Thank you!"  
~~

After a bit more convincing on Josephine's part, they gave their mother one final squeeze before watching her disappear in another flurry of green fire. Once she was gone, the room seemed too quiet and it only then seemed to dawn on them that they were pretty much alone now. They hadn't taken in to consideration where they'd go over the summer, Christmas, how they'd actually contact their family if they even could at all.

It was odd, Bernadette thought, how quickly someone's life could be completely changed. It had happened last year with the surprising turn of her brother's health and again that year with the sudden peril they found themselves thrust into, no longer able to rely on the support of their parents.

After they had quietly exited Dumbledore's office, Bernadette led Josephine back to the Hufflepuff common room, not wanting to leave her with the Slytherins that night, it was likely many of them knew already and were unlikely to take mercy on her.

So there they sat, two sisters, so alike yet so different, united yet alone, watching the fire slowly die, thinking about their family.

"We should write to Chris." Josephine spoke up after a minute, fiddling anxiously with her long, dark hair, so like their mother's. "He probably won't know yet, it wouldn't be fair to wait until Christmas."

"Yeah." Bernadette replied despondently.

She supposed she now fully understood Connie Farlow. She didn't have anyone left, at least Bernadette had her siblings. She owed her friend an apology, for trying to push her, break her out of her shell when all she needed was for someone to get it, to emphasise with her.

It really,  _really_  sucked and she knew who to blame. There was no longer any shred of doubt in her mind, she would join the resistance against You-Know-Who, prove William wrong and make the Death Eaters pay.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is super late but I had a really busy week, please don't kill me. So I might've waited three hours in the rain and freezing cold to get Ariana Grande tickets but it worked so idk. Four standing tickets for September 22nd and it was so worth it because they were impossible to get online. Also threw up at Inferno and a guy tried to grind on me but I looked gorgeous so it's all g. Christmas was brilliant, I got Cards Against Humanity (which I've been begging for for years) and enough socks to make Spencer from iCarly jealous.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	31. Chapter Five: Offhand Commentary

**-October 1976-**

"Wow..." Sirius breathed out a puff of smoke. "That's rough."

"Understatement of the century." Bernadette's lips twisted into a sour grimace. "Sorry, I get melodramatic when I'm stressed and I don't think I've ever felt my blood pressure so high before. It's just...it wouldn't be nearly this hard if I didn't have to look at Josephine's long face every day. As her older sister, it sucks to see her upset when I'm not the one inflicting her trauma."

The young girl let out a frustrated groan and threw herself down onto her back so that she was now glaring up at the clear ceiling, stars twinkling and crescent moon grinning down at her Yet they gave her very little solace. "I just wish that there was something I could do to help. It's supposed to be my job but it appears as though I'm pretty lousy at it."

"What if..." Sirius joined her on the ground. "What if we could help?"

"What're you babbling about, Black?" She turned her head to peer at him curiously, interest piqued.

He reached over to fondly mess up her hair and gave her a sly grin. "You'll see."  
~~

That morning a pretty Tawny owl had dropped a letter into a very tired Bernadette's mug of coffee and she'd barely managed to rescue it from a watery grave. Easily recognising the messy scrawl of Christopher, she said a hasty goodbye to a reading Lily and half-asleep Mary and briskly walked out of the Great Hall, the letter held so tightly that her knuckles were almost as white as the part of the envelope that was not marked with coffee.

_Bernie,_   
_For a second I genuinely thought you were joking in your letter but then Mum and Dad showed up at my apartment_ _and I didn't really have much of a choice but to believe it at that point_ _. I know you better than you think I do and I know you're taking this a lot harder than you're letting on. I also know the effect William has on you_ _even if you try endlessly to deny it. If_ _he tries to write to you again I will single-handedly beat his ass. It's not good to bottle things up. We all saw how well that went last year._

_Anyways, I've enclosed four galleons to go buy yourself some sweets (don't lie I know you know how to sneak into Hogsmeade) and don't fuss. Charlotte and I will be glad to take you and Joey for Christmas even if it will be a bit cramped_ _in the apartment_ _and I don't want you to waste another second worrying. Go binge eat all your troubles away._   
_Your concerned brother,_   
_Chris._

Her features twisted into a grimace. Was Christopher living with this Charlotte girl now? She wasn't even aware that they were dating and he'd only been in London a few months. He didn't even seem that worried about their parents and William. Scoffing, she removed the coins from the envelope, cool against her burning skin, before tossing the actual letter on the ground and pointing her wand at it.

"Incendio."

The stained paper went up in a ball of flames, red and oranges licking around the edges and the messy scrawl crumpled up into black ash.

"Was that from Chris?"

Bernadette lifted her head to look at her little sister who was staring at her blankly. She nodded. "Yeah, he said he can take us for Christmas and gave us money to buy sweets."

"Is that all?"

Another nod. "I'm sure he's just a bit busy at the Ministry to write a big long letter. Training to be an Auror is a long and difficult process. And our dear brother never had been good at expressing his emotions."

Josephine sighed and balled up the fabric of her skirt in her fists before letting it drop down again and smoothing out the wrinkles. "Too busy to give a shit, that's for sure."

"I never said he wasn't a complete arse."

"That's putting it lightly." The younger made a face. "He's more of a self-righteous dickpig with his head so far up the Ministry's arse I'm impressed he hasn't mucked up his hair."

"Ah, I can really see the family resemblance." Sirius Black sidled up to the two sisters, a lazy smirk adorning his handsome features, either blatantly misreading the room or simply not caring.

"What do you want?" Bernadette sighed, kicking the burnt remains of the letter behind a pillar, hoping he wouldn't notice. "Is this about whatever bullshit it was you were planning last night because we're not interested."

Josephine's head snapped back to her sister, a single accusatory brow lifted. "Last night? What on earth were you two doing last night?"

"Well technically, this morning." Sirius draped an arm over her shoulders.

"Shove off, I'm tired." It came out more playful than she'd intended it to.

"All you have to do is trust me." He tugged at a strand of hair resting by his hand. "You trust me, don't you, Nettle?"

A hint of a smile pulled at her lips, she was starting to wonder the power Sirius Black had over her. One flash of his impish smile and a twinkle of his grey eyes and she'd throw herself in front of a bullet. "Not in the slightest but I have nothing else better to do today and I'd bet my life all Joey was gonna do was read in the library so..." she placed her hand in his, "lead the way."  
~~

The boy had led them further away from the Great Hall, adamantly refusing to let on to what he had planned (purely for the sheer dramatics of it, Bernadette was sure) and stopped them just outside of Filch's office, a place Bernadette knew well, having been caught "misbehaving" on numerous occasions.

Sirius reached a hand into his bag and extracted two brown balls, easily recognisable as Dungbombs. "Thought we'd start small for little Joey's first prank."

The younger girl regarded the times in his hand with distaste. "No way! I'm not being a part of your little games, Black! We'll get caught and have to run and-"

The dark haired boy shushed her loudly. "See, the running is the best part and even if you get detention, it's kinda fun if you're with friends. Now, he's asleep in his chair, if we crack the door open we can get them in and should be able to slip away before he has a chance to see who did it."

"What about Mrs Norris?" Bernadette gladly took one of the Dungbombs. "If she catches onto us there's no escaping that demon cat!"

"She's prowling the fifth floor we're fine."

Josephine looked at him suspiciously but picked up one of the bombs. "How do you know that?"

The older students shared a knowing look and Sirius nodded to the blank parchment that stuck out of his pocket. "I have my ways, young grasshopper. Now, I'll open the door and then you ladies gotta move fast 'cause the smell will wake him up quickly and then we gotta run."

"Fuck it," Josephine squared her shoulders and puffed out her chest. "Let's do this shit."  
~~

Bernadette hadn't felt so freely happy in quite a while, running through the halls, being chased by Filch who was now not only mad about the Dungbombs but also the Fanged Frisbees they'd set loose in the Great Hall during lunch and the mess they'd made in the library. Feet pounding against the stone floor and blood rushing to her head she let out a giggle as she heard Filch curse and trip over his own legs.

They'd split up, to give Josephine a chance to avoid detention, the other two had had so many at that point another figure up really didn't matter but they were also starting to lose the caretaker. The pair skidded round the corner and Sirius pulled her behind a large tapestry, pressing themselves up flat against the cool wall as if they were trying to sink into the grey stone and disappear forever.

Barely managing to stifle her laughter, Bernadette bit down on her fist and Sirius aimed a half-hearted kick at her left shin. They stayed there in bubbling suspense until Filch's grumbling shadow had long passed and with a quick check of the Map they slipped out from behind the tapestry and then dissolved into laughter.

"That was brilliant!" The young Hufflepuff cried, eyes welling up with tears of mirth. "Did you see that frisbee get stuck in Grace Chastity's perm? Best thing I've seen all week!"

"Fuckin' majestic, wasn't it?" He pulled her into a one-armed hug and smacked a big fat kiss on her cheek, chuckling as she pretended to retch. "Now, let's see what other mayhem and general inconvenience we can wreck upon these poor, lowly mortals."

"Merlin's saggy left ball do I love you!"  
~~

At the end of a perfect day with no detentions and a warm fuzzy feeling in her stomach, Bernadette lay sprawled out in front of the fire in her common room, head resting on her sister's lap and humming softly to herself. Not only had she really enjoyed herself, but she'd seen Josephine smile for the first time in what felt like forever and it had taken both their minds off of their crushing reality.

"You and Black are pretty close, huh?" Josephine's pale skin glowed in the firelight as she brushed her fingers through Bernadette's hair.

"I guess so, he's one of my best friends. After today you can probably see why."

There was a short silence between them. The younger girl opened her mouth to say something but quickly shut it, rethinking her words. "It looks like more than just friends."

Bernadette's breath hitched and she craned her neck to peer up at her little sister. "Yeah,  _best friends_ , you numpty. Don't go getting any ideas, Sirius and I are strictly platonic, we both know that."

"Both of you? Really?"

She wasn't quite sure what Josephine was talking about. Of course her and Sirius were just friends, they weren't going around making out in broom closets or even flirting. She didn't think that there was anything about their relationship that suggested they were anything more than two really good friends. Either way, Josephine knew she was still head over heels for Daniel, she didn't do a very good job at hiding it.

"Yes, Joey. Now don't start overthinking every little thing. Anyways, I'll always put you first."  
~~

**-September 1st 1971-**

_"Chris!" Her small fists pounded against the closed door. "Let me in!"_

_"Go away you little parasite!" He drew the blinds, obstructing her view and ultimately cutting her off from the only people she knew on the train._

_Bernadette kicked the door and darted down the aisle before her brother could come out again and abuse her. She scanned faces in the compartments for others who looked to be starting in first year like her or even just an empty space. At that point, she just didn't want to spend the rest of the journey alone._

_Her small feet carried her to the end of the train and she was ready to give up and just sit with the next group of people she stumbled upon. Finally, peering into the final compartment she saw what she was sure had to be other first years. Grinning to herself she took a deep breath and opened the sliding door in one swift movement._

_"You lot got room for another lost first year?" Without waiting for a response she sank down into a seat across from two of the boys and next to a red-haired young girl whose face was pressed up against the window. "My brother kicked me out of his compartment so I've been left to wander alone. I'm Bernadette by the way, Bernadette Sommers."_

_One of the boys, lanky with messy dark hair and round glasses with a very distinct scruffy yet well-looked after appearance, grinned back at her. "James Potter."_

_"Sirius." The other boy introduced himself, however not giving his surname. His hair was darker than James' but slicked back out of his face rather than sticking out in every direction, his eyes a stormy grey and old, like he'd seen a great deal and his clothes looked impossibly expensive. An impish smile gave him a boyish charm. "Your name sounds like an old lady's, got any nicknames?"_

_"You're one to talk!" She scoffed. "You're named after the Dog Star, right? That's a bit pretentious, don't you think?"_

_James guffawed. "You're something else, Sommers! You a muggle-born? Haven't heard that surname round before."_

_"Half actually, Mum's a pureblood, Dad's a muggle."_

_"That must've been a nasty shock for him!"_

_"He didn't care! Doesn't really understand magic, but he's fine so long as he can complain about England and he's got his cows."_

_Their compartment door opened again and a greasy haired boy with a prominent hooked nose and skin as white as paper walked past them and sat opposite the red-haired girl. She showed her first signs of life, glancing at him briefly before turning back to the window. She looked as though she'd been crying, eyes bloodshot and cheeks glistening in the morning light with tears._

_"I don't want to talk to you." She'd told him in a constricted voice and Bernadette turned away, feeling as though she was being incredibly invasive and rude._

_She returned to the conversation Sirius and James were having, laughing a bit too hard at a joke she had not heard. However, it was proving to be extremely taxing not to listen in on what the other two present in the compartment were discussing. Really they shouldn't have been so loud about it. It appeared as though the two boys were taking interest in the mini-argument, falling silent and doing a very bad job at pretending as though they were not eavesdropping._

_"You'd better be in Slytherin!" The boy had encouraged her as she'd stared to brighten up a bit._

_James had made a face at that comment, no longer caring if he came off rude. "Slytherin? Who wants to be in Slytherin? I think I'd leave, wouldn't you?"_

_Bernadette almost shrank under the sudden attention on her and Sirius who did not mirror James' smile._

_"My whole family have been in Slytherin."_

_"Blimey," James didn't seem all that perturbed despite his words. "And I thought you were all right!"_

_Bernadette grinned, hoping to ease some of the very obvious tension. "Maybe he'll break the tradition, it's not unheard of."_

_Sirius shot her a brief yet meaningful look of gratitude. "Where are you going then, if you've got the choice?"_

_The brunette shrugged. "I don't mind really but I know for a fact I'm not Ravenclaw or Slytherin, if I was they'd throw me out on suspicion of infiltration from an enemy House."_

_What she'd said wasn't all that funny but the boys laughed regardless. James' smile grew even wider as he lifted an imaginary sword. "'Gryffindor, where dwell the brave at heart!' Like my dad."_

_The boy in the corner who they'd almost forgotten about made a noise of disapproval which caused the air to heat up again as James turned on him in anger. "Got a problem with that?"_

_"No," The boy sneered, contradicting his own response. "If you'd rather be brawny than brainy-"_

_"Where are you going then seeing as you're neither?" Sirius interjected, maintaining his cool, couldn't-be-bothered stance._

_Bernadette and James howled with laughter, doubling over and clutching at their aching sides. The red-haired girl stood up rather abruptly, clearly embarrassed and angry and took her friend by the arm, shooting the others a look of dislike._

_"Come on, Severus, let's find another compartment."_

_Sirius and James mocked her tone of voice and faked disappointment, James sticking out his leg to trip Severus as him and the girl breezed past._

_"See ya, Snivellus!"_

_Bernadette looked from the rowdy boys across from her to the two mortified figures hurrying away down the aisle and quickly made up her mind, guilt rushing over her._

_"Gotta dash," she'd said to them, brushing off her already dirty jeans, trying to think up an excuse. "Gonna try catch the trolley lady before she runs out of Sugar Quills."_

_With a hasty goodbye to the two boys, she rushed after Severus and the red-haired girl, quickly catching up to them, thankful for the long legs she'd gotten over the summer, hand-in-hand with a growth spurt._

_"Hey!" She placed a hand on the shorter girl's shoulder. She turned around and wrinkled her small nose._

_"What do you want?"_

_"To apologise, didn't think they'd take it that far but don't mind them. Boys are a bit stupid at this age, like tiny trolls stumbling around...no offence." She'd glanced at the boy who continued to glare at her. "Anyways, I'm Bernadette and am currently feeling remorseful enough to buy you lot whatever you want off the trolley as repayment."_

_The girl regarded her with a softer gaze. "I'm Lily-"_

_Before she could say much more, her friend pushed her behind him and looked down his hooked nose at Bernadette, despite her being a good few inches taller than him. "Bugger off, don't think we'll fall for your tricks. Now leave us alone!"_

_A stunned girl was left staring at their retreating back for a few seconds before letting out a small chuckle of disbelief. She hadn't even gotten to Hogwarts yet and she was already making enemies. Glancing around the surrounding compartments for one with an available seat, she shrugged. Guess she'd just have to make as many friends as possible to compensate._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's a well known fact that I love Starkid but 'The Guy Who Didn't Like Musicals' was so fucking amazing. I was just so impressed and at the end I just kinda sat there in awe, still thinking about Robert Manion's fabulous grande jetés en tournant in the Working Boys scene and how the show easily became one of my top three Starkid performances after only one viewing. 5 O'CLOCK CANT COME SOON ENOUGH!! Oh and a very happy 2019 to everyone, new year, new problems (bit of foreshadowing for future chapter right there).  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	32. Chapter Six: Threats in the Loo

**-November 1976-**

Bernadette groaned as loudly as she could for the fourth time in two minutes, hoping for Mary or Marlene to ask her what was wrong. When she got no such response, she kicked the underside of the table, rattling the knives and forks and finally earning a response.

"What is it?" Mary sighed. "You're not still sulking because you slept through the Halloween feast are you?"

"Of course I am!" Bernadette looked mildly offended. "It's all because you lot didn't wake me up!"

Marlene set down her goblet rather hard on the wooden table. "That was three days ago, get over it."

Once the pair went back to their game of Exploding Snap, Bernadette subtly flipped them off and pulled a face before swigging the last of her now cold tea and walking away decidedly. She knew for a fact that her throwing a fit was childish and that she was overreacting but she needed to be mad about something trivial or else her mind would go to dark places. Her friends didn't seem to understand this and were quickly growing tired of her antics but at that point, she was too far gone to stop.

She was sure Sirius would get it but she didn't want to just run to him whenever she had a problem and he'd already helped enough. Josephine now appeared to be coping well enough, back to hanging out with her own friends and staying in her own dormitory. While Bernadette was relieved she wasn't upset, she couldn't help but also feel a bit forgotten now that she wasn't needed to kiss it all better. She supposed she quite liked helping other people while ignoring her own issues and this trait she was sure she had developed from minding Henry. Now that he was no longer there, she couldn't fuss over him and make sure he was okay.

She stopped in her tracks, annoyed that her thoughts were already spiralling and kicked the wall, startling some of the surrounding portraits who shot her dirty looks while she hopped around one-legged, clutching her throbbing foot and cursing wildly which only seemed to irritate the portraits even further.

"Fuck, fuck, fuckity-fuck!" She hoped no professors were listening in, she wasn't in the mood to serve detention. "I think I fucking broke my fucking foot!"

"Quiet, girl!" A painting of some old monk sneered at her.

Not wanting to be discovered in such an embarrassing position, being chastised by a portrait and spouting foul language all the while hopping like a pogo-stick, she managed to throw herself into a bathroom only a few feet away and hoisted herself up on top of one of the seats. She wrenched her shoe off of her right foot and was thankful to see that it was not bent in some horrifying direction feet should not bend and that there were no signs of blood.

"What are you doing?"

She jumped at the sudden voice, almost toppling off the sink and whipped her head around but didn't see anyone. Were the talking to her from the toilet? "Um...nothing. Just stubbed my toe. Where are you?"

A silvery figure drifted out of one of the stalls and she realised with a jolt that it was a ghost talking to her. She had never seen this one before, a squat girl with dark hair hanging limp around her shoulders, big round glasses perched on her nose and a face full of glimmering acne who appeared to be only a year or two younger than her.

"Oh, hi." She tried her best at a friendly tone. "Don't think I've seen you round before, I'm Bernadette."

"Yes, I know exactly who you are." The ghost spoke in an odd voice, drifting closer to Bernadette. "You blew up a toilet a few years ago...I was inside it."

The brunette wasn't quite sure what to say. This ghost had been inside that toilet she'd accidentally blown up when mock-duelling with Marlene in second year? She hadn't known ghosts were so fond of residing in toilets.

"Sorry, that was an accident though, if I'd known you were in there I could've said it then."

The ghost sniffed morosely as though she were about to burst into tears. "Of course, nobody notices  _ugly_ ,  _miserable_ ,  _invisible_  Myrtle!"

Bernadette's mouth opened into a small 'o' as she discovered she must have been in the out-of-order, second floor girls' bathroom in which one Moaning Myrtle, a ghost killed in the forties resided. She had never seen her up close before, or known how young she was when she was killed. It made her feel a bit less down about her own problems.

"You're not-"

Before she could try to console the weeping ghost, the door had cracked open and with a high-pitched squeal, Myrtle had flown into one of the toilets, sloshing water all over the tiled floor. To Bernadette's great surprise, one Severus Snape had entered the bathroom and she rolled her eyes.

"Seriously Snape?" She slipped off the chipped sink and wiggled her shoe back onto her throbbing foot. "You here to curse me again? What's this with you and girls' bathrooms, eh? Some people might think it's a bit pervy."

She pulled her wand out of her jeans, not wanting a repeat of what had happened the last time she'd been in a bathroom with Snape and eyed him warily, maintaining as much of a distance between them as she could.

"If you're here to talk about Lily, give it a rest. You're a lost cause, she wants nothing to do with you after all that shit you pulled. You're lucky I didn't tell her about that little doodle you've got on your arm. Do yourself a favour and leave before I make you."

He gave her a look so poisonous, so full of loathing, she felt her breath hitched and her heart miss a beat with the sudden chill that went through the room.

"This isn't about Lily."

"What then? Came to finish off the job? No Regulus this time to save me, sorry to break it to you but you'll be caught easy and locked up in Azkaban for the rest of your-"

He moved towards her very quickly in two long strides, shaking with fury. "Shut up! Shut up for two seconds! I'm trying to help you!"

Taken aback by his sudden outburst, Bernadette closed her mouth and nodded silently for him to continue. Perhaps taunting him wasn't the way to go.

"This is a warning and I need you to listen to me." He waited a single second for her to nod in understanding. "As soon as you're out of here, Hogwarts, you're going to have a bright red target on your back unless you wise up and join us. Mulciber has made it very clear he'd like to kill you, you made his life hell."

She opened her mouth to argue the irony but was silenced when Snape continued to talk in his rapid pace, glancing around as if he were terrified someone was listening in.

"The Dark Lord thinks you could be useful. Your mother comes from a good family, you're a talented witch however much I hate to admit it and your brother has spoken very highly of you. He insists you'll make a gifted and loyal follower to the Dark Lord."

Ice ran through her veins and she felt her muscles seize up at the mention of William. "He's not my brother. Either way he doesn't know shit about me, hasn't even seen me in person since I was nine."

"Half-brother then but that's inconsequential." He clearly wanted this conversation over as soon as possible judging from how his pace sped up even further. "You have a decision to make, a heavy one. I'm correct in assuming that there was a recent threat made against your parents. They burnt down your farm as a warning. They know where your brother lives. But they won't make another move until you've graduated, but then you'll have to choose."

She prayed he could not hear her heart pounding in her chest, terrified.

"Use your head for once, Sommers. You'll regret it if you don't."  
~~

She wasn't sure if she was glad her confrontation in the bathroom had vanquished her pain from earlier or pissed that she was now worrying about something else entirely. She hadn't expected some childish pranks to provoke Mulciber to want to actually  _murder_  her if what Snape Sadie was true. She'd already known that William wanted her to join him but she didn't know that You-Know-Who wanted her too. That was dangerous. Her parents and grandmother had managed to slip away but they knew where Christopher was and he wouldn't leave his apartment even if she told him to.

She refused to leave her dorm. She had to think. It was pretty clear that the others were starting to worry about her, Jane pestering her to stop moping because of Quidditch practice and Jasmine just very concerned that Bernadette was quiet, claiming it was eerie not to have her shouting every three seconds. Connie didn't try to drag her out, having known her for so long she knew that this was something they'd just have to wait out and didn't mind having a companion in the dorm who wouldn't bother her.

Jane had come up Sunday afternoon with two plates of food and flasks of tea, still wearing the Gryffindor scarf she'd worn to the match earlier that day and pulled the curtains around Bernadette's bed wide open, throwing light onto her still figure.

"This has got to stop." She sat down across from Bernadette who was staring blankly into space. "Your friends are trying to break into the common room and now Pettigrew stinks of vinegar and refuses to leave and take a shower. It's fine if you don't wanna say what happened but it's not healthy to stay holed up here all day."

"Wow, thanks Jane." Connie had drawled from her own bed, concealed behind the curtains.

"At least you talk to us." She placed her hand over Bernadette's. "Please come out before Black starts a riot."

The brunette heaved a sigh. She supposed she couldn't leave them to worry, it would cause suspicion and she didn't want anyone finding out what happened to her. They just wouldn't get it. "Fine, just let me change and shower first, I'm sure I reek."

Jane backed off, smiling smugly to herself. "Yeah you do. Don't wanna smell bad in front of your boyfriend."

Bernadette dragged herself out of bed, legs wobbly but knew she couldn't hide anymore. Christopher had told her not to bottle things up but she didn't really have much choice. This was a problem she had to handle alone. If she told anyone they'd just get worried and that wouldn't do anything. No, she just had to pretend like everything was alright. Easy peasy.

"Potter also wanted me to tell you that Gryffindor won the match."

She closed the bathroom door behind her and laughed softly. Of course that was what he wanted to tell her so badly, rub it in her face. There was something oddly endearing about his arrogance.   
~~

"What is wrong with you?" She was pulled into the suffocating embrace of Lily Evans, red hair wild and cheeks cold from the chilly, early November winds. "You had us worried half to death. You never skip Quidditch."

"You know me, I was just being over dramatic to get your attention since none of you had the the mind to wake me up for the Halloween feast." Her excuse was lame but hopefully believable.

Marlene joined the hug, clearly feeling left out. "We still on about that? Fine, we're unbelievably sorry you missed the feast but you might feel better knowing that a certain Daniel White was asking after you."

She pulled away from them and felt her chest contract. "Don't lie, it's cruel and not funny to play with my emotions like that."

"He actually did." Mary interjected. "He looked awfully concerned."

Her heart soared and she felt like screaming, a goofy smile spreading across her lips. "No way."

"Yes way!"

The girls didn't notice Sirius' act to their right, pretending to throw up all over Remus' shoes or James mocking their squealing while tossing imaginary hair over his shoulder.

All concerns had vanished from Bernadette's mind, Daniel actually gave a rat's arse about her. Worrying about Death Eaters could wait, her crush of many years had expressed interest in her and she wasn't about to let anything take away that victory.

"I should ask him to the party we're having in two weeks time!"

"Party?" Sirius looked almost hurt. "Why haven't I been invited?"

She finally seemed to notice him and the other boys, watching on awkwardly. "Well it's just supposed to be Hufflepuffs, after our match against the Ravenclaws but I can convince Jane with a lot of whining and complaining for me to smuggle him in. I can try get you lot in too."

He shook his head a bit too quickly. "No, I can see when I'm not wanted, it's fine."

Without saying another word, he walked off down the stairs, the other boys hot on his tail and leaving the girls behind him very confused. However, they chose to simply ignore him and delved deep back into discussion about the dreamy Ravenclaw Bernadette had finally worked up the courage to ask out.  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I kinda like how this came out, not gonna lie. I like writing the dark elements in this story but I love that they sometimes get overshadowed by regular teenage stuff because that's how life is and I'm hoping it'll make for a good contrast as Bernadette gets older and no longer fusses about trivial matters. Don't forget that she's still a kid, a bit immature, naive sometimes but I'm sick of unnecessarily dark and angsty OCs and I hope people find Bernadette's character as refreshing as I do. Anyways next chapter is gonna be wild and fairly lengthy.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	33. Chapter Seven: Seek Her Out

**-November 1976-**

"And another fantastic hit from Sommers! If only she'd stop being so damn good and give us poor Ravenclaws a break!" Flora's sour voice rang over the pitch as a Bludger almost knocked a Ravenclaw Chaser off his broom and the Quaffle fell down a few feet until it was snatched out of the air. "What's this? Reyes actually caught the Quaffle for-he's dropped it. Thank god there's someone in Hufflepuff out to help us."

Bernadette facepalmed and wondered why they still had the oaf on the team, Jane certainly wanted him gone judging by her screams heard from the other end of the pitch. They were only ahead by mere twenty points and Jane was getting anxious for the snitch to be caught but their new Seeker wasn't having much luck. The Ravenclaw Seeker had gone for the Snitch three times already but Bernadette was quick with the Bludgers.

She was starting to get fed up as the match dragged on for another hour, eager for the after-party which they'd throw even if they lost as an excuse to eat lots of food and be very noisy.

"Hurry up or I'll have to catch the Snitch for you!" She whizzed past the very embarrassed second year. "The faster you are the quieter Jane will be!"

That seemed like enough motivation. Everyone who played Quidditch knew all too well how terrifying Jane Smithers could really be.

"Jackson with the Quaffle, his hair looks so good in the wind I think he's started using this new shampoo-ow! Sorry, looks like both Seekers have caught sight of the Snitch! They're neck and neck. Come on Collins! Fuck!"

A loud static came from the microphone as Flora dodged Professor McGonagall's silencing charm and people went to clutch their ears.

"Hufflepuff wins, whoop-de-doo. This may be the last you've heard of Flora Wilson because I have never seen dear Professor McGonagall look so angry. Good night folks!"  
~~

Bernadette ran from the changing rooms, still sweaty and with her broom and bat in hand, trying to catch up to the retreating back of Daniel White.

"Daniel!" She had almost reached him. "Wait up!"

He'd turned and saw her, telling his friends to head off without him. "You okay there, Bernadette?"

She caught her breath, trying to seem as though she hadn't gone to great lengths to track him down. "Yeah...um...can I tell you something?"

"Sure."

She took a deep breath, hoping that her puns wouldn't fail her. "I'm not a Seeker but I was hoping to  _catch_  you at the after-party in our common room later."

To her relief, he smiled. Oh god, that smile. It was blinding. "Yeah, I'll  _seek_  you out."

It was a terrible joke but she laughed anyways. "That's great! I'll meet you outside the common room at eight-thirty then!"

As soon as he was out of earshot she jumped excitedly on the spot, squealing to herself. Did that count as a date? Had she successfully asked Daniel White out on a date? And he said yes? This had to either be a dream or the best day of her life. She pinched her arm. Well, it wasn't a dream.   
~~

Her hands were shaking as she was trying to put on her makeup, slowing her down rather significantly. Although excited about going out with Daniel she was also positively terrified that he'd realise just how out of her league he was or think she was a complete weirdo.

"Would you stop it?" Jasmine took the makeup brush out of her hand. "You're stressing me out. Just let me do it."

"Sorry, I'm just-I don't want to mess this up. I've been pining over Daniel since second year and this is the first interest he's shown in me. Tonight is my only chance to set a really good impression. I don't know how to do guys and the whole dating thing, it kinda freaks me out."

"Close your eyes."

She did so dutifully as she felt Jasmine swipe a brush over her eyelids. "I just wish talking to Daniel was as easy as talking to Sirius."

"You sure you invited the right guy tonight then?"

Bernadette frowned. "Of course I'm sure, Sirius is my friend, nothing more. I don't know why people always question that."

"Did you give  _him_  the memo?"

"Oh stop it, you're starting to sound like Joey and Marlene and...a lot of people actually."

The common room door opened and Jane sauntered in, looking rather pleased with herself. "Jack Perry got us Butterbeer and Firewhiskey for tonight, can't wait to get drunk. What're you getting so dolled up for?"

Shoot, she'd forgotten to ask Jane if she could bring a friend. "I might've asked Daniel White to be my date...tonight."

She'd expected Jane to go red in anger but instead she looked confused. "I thought you were going out with Sirius Black?"

Jasmine gave her a knowing look and Bernadette groaned. "For the last time, we're just friends!"  
~~

Bernadette would've traded her current situation in favour of taming a Hungarian Horntail or a beast equally as vicious. At least when it came to Magical Creatures she knew what to expect, boys were a mystery she wasn't quite sure she wanted to solve.

She felt awkward and out of place waiting outside the common room, pacing nervously by the stairwell, resisting the urge to pull at her hair which had been strategically pulled into soft curls, an effort which had required all three of her roommates to try and get her unruly locks to lie still on her shoulders. If she were being honest, she didn't quite think that it suited her much. Muted colours and smooth colours did not suit her wildness and the tight fabric felt as though it was choking her. But apparently, this was what guys would like and she was willing to endure for a few hours.

She heard light footsteps heading up the steps and hurriedly relaxed her shoulders and leaned against the nearest wall in an effort to look as though she was not even remotely stressed.

"Oh, Bernadette. You look nice." Daniel smiled at her and she almost melted at the sight. "I hope I haven't kept you waiting long."

"Not at all," She lied not-so-smoothly. "Haven't even been here two minutes."

"Wonderful then, shall we head in?" His politeness was stifling.

She nodded numbly and tapped the password on the correct barrel so that its swung open to allow them to crawl through. The party was already in full swing when they'd gotten there, raucous laughter and the stench of Firewhiskey assaulting her senses, music Bernadette did not recognise drifting from a Wizarding Wireless Network in the corner. She wrinkled her nose.

"Honestly, they didn't even get good music." She shouted over the loudness to Daniel who already had a bottle in hand and was surveying the room with amused eyes. "Where's Sirius when you need him?"

She could've sworn that for a second Daniel had rolled his eyes at the mention of her best friend but then it had passed and he was back to gazing around contently at their fellow partygoers.

"I don't really care for music, muggle or otherwise."

"Oh." She couldn't help but feel disappointed, no matter how trivial this wasn't brushed it off. She had to make this work. "No matter, wanna dance? I'm particularly adept at the Chicken Dance but Sirius recently taught me to waltz...oh but don't tell him I told you, he was terribly embarrassed about it."

"I'm fine, thanks."

She didn't miss the shard of ice in his voice. What on earth was she supposed to do if he wouldn't dance and didn't seem to share any of her interests? Oh god, why had she thought this was a good idea? What did people do at parties? She usually spent most of the time dancing with her friends but that was out of the question. He definitely thought she was weird now if he hadn't already. Why would she have mentioned the Chicken Dance?

"I can grab you something to eat, actually funny story-"

"If you mention Black one more time I swear I might go mad."

Bernadette shut her mouth hastily, wishing nothing more than for the ground to swallow her up so her words could no longer betray her. She hadn't meant to offend him. Nor had she realised she was talking too much about Sirius.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to upset you. Sirius says I always run my mouth when I'm nervous. Oh sorry! I am stupid aren't I! I'll go get you another bottle of...yeah."

Bernadette darted into the crowd, silently cursing herself and almost wishing she'd never given up drinking so at least she'd have the confidence it gave her on her side. Once she'd finally reached the table of drinks she picked up a bottle of Butterbeer and tried to calm the racing of her heart and wiped her sweaty palms on her dress.

"How's it going?" Connie was sat in an armchair pushed up against the wall, a book open in her lap. Clearly, Jane had dragged her down in an effort to encourage socialisation.

"Not great." She sighed. "You know me and my big mouth, mucking everything up."

"Just be yourself, if he doesn't like you for you, he's not worth it."

Good advice, Bernadette knew looking back, but she was too far gone in her little crush to even consider her words so she shook her head, curls bouncing.

"That won't work, not yet, I have to seduce him first." She tossed back her shoulders to give off an air of confidence. "How hard can it be? Marlene does it all the time."

Connie frowned, disappointed but knew better than to say anything as it would achieve nothing in deterring her in her quest once her mind was so set upon it. "Good luck then."

Bernadette pinched her arm and began to weave her way through the throng. She would go back to Daniel and open with a witty line, perhaps a Quidditch pun, he seemed to like those, and then she could ask him about himself. People liked talking about themselves, that was sure to break the ice a bit. Maybe she could make him laugh, talk about various pranks pulled throughout the years. But then again many of those stories involved Sirius and it was now clear to her that Daniel was not fond of him.

She threw her head back and plastered in a smile she hoped passed as sexy. Marlene always did say the key to a man's heart (she'd said pants but she was sure they were interchangeable) was good food and a sexy smile. There was was, his back facing her. Was he facing the wall? No matter. She totally had this, no chance of messing up.

"Hey, what did the Keeper say to the-"

She felt her mouth grow dry, her stomach flip and her grip loosen on the bottle. It shattered on the floor in synchronisation with her heart. This action had drawn Daniel's attention to her and he broke apart from the girl he had pressed up against the wall, her lipstick smeared all around his mouth and she quite suddenly found him very unattractive.

Her eyes flitted between the pair for a few seconds taking it all in. She left him alone for not even five minutes and he'd already moved on to another girl, deeming her a hopeless case, of no interest to him, despite all she'd done to make herself desirable. Was this a dream? The pain suggested otherwise.

After her initial shock she felt her blood begin to heat up and anger rise throat and she was vaguely aware of the vile words she was spitting at him, curls working themselves undone as she shook violently in rage. She wanted her Beater's Bat. She wanted to break something, preferably his face but she'd easily settle for another limb. All she could see was Daniel, tinted red, poisoned. He was a stranger to her, no longer the charming Ravenclaw with the sparkling eyes and kind smile.

A tentative hand on her shoulder broke her out of her stupor and her insults died on her painted lips. She'd realised what she'd just done, breaths raspy and irregular. Slowly, she turned her head and met dozens of shocked stares. Every single pair of eyes were locked on her, makeup already running from angry tears she had not known she'd shed, strands of hair catching on her lip gloss, blood trickling down her leg where the glass from the broken bottle had cut her.

"Etta?"

The music was still playing and never before had she hated that droning song about a cauldron full of love so much.

"You okay?"

No longer able to take the sheer humiliation, Bernadette fled the scene, dodging Jane and Jasmine's attempts to snatch at her, pushing past a group of horrified first years by the exit and falling from the barrel to the cold stone floor, stopping only briefly to catch her breath before taking off once again. Once she was a fair distance from the common room she halted again momentarily to wrench off her dreaded heels and fling them against a wall, a few portraits crying out in surprise.

Never before had she felt like such a fool. Daniel White, a boy she'd been obsessing over since she was twelve, Daniel White, the perfect, charming, intelligent boy who she should have known would never like her back. Bernadette Sommers, a mess, too loud, too reckless, irresponsible, of course he didn't want her. Nobody with half a brain could entertain her fantasies. He'd probably only agreed to going out with her to get her to stop trailing after him like a lost puppy.

Her bare feet pounded against the floor and the sobs that wracked her body awakened some of the portraits who grumbled loudly, cursing her out. She didn't know where to go. Certainly not back to her dorm, everyone in Hufflepuff had seen what happened, she couldn't face them. She considered tracking down her sister but that would be unfair and she doubted she was any safer in the Slytherin common room than she was in a pit of lions.

Without truly intending to, Bernadette made her way up the stairs that led to Gryffindor Tower, in search of Lily, Marlene or Alice. She wanted out of this cursed dress and to wipe the paint off her face and to be Bernadette again. Bernadette who was okay with imperfection. Bernadette who loved her loudness, her recklessness and her irresponsibility because they made her who she was. She wanted that girl back instead of this pathetic, snivelling stranger poisoning her thoughts.

"Grindylow." She'd choked out hoarsely before the Fat Lady could make a comment on her appearance, crawling through the entrance and feeling the warmth hit her like a wave. As she dropped her feet down onto the carpet she was tempted to just let her shaky knees buckle underneath her and lay down on the floor for the rest of the night but before she could even consider it, there were arms around her, supporting her weight, clinging to her.

She recognised the leather jacket she had gifted Sirius last Christmas as well as the lingering scent of smoke.

"Jesus Christ Etta! Have you been attacked?"

For some reason, seeing Sirius only made her want to cry even more. His concerned eyes, his hands cupping her tear-stained cheeks. "No."

"But you're bleeding!"

"That was my own fault." Her voice didn't sound like her own, distant and echoey. "All of it was really."

She felt someone pull her away from Sirius and guide her towards the couches where she stared despondently at the fire. Something was dropped into her lap. A half-eaten bar of chocolate. She turned her head to the right to see one awkwardly smiling (or rather grimacing) Peter Pettigrew. The flow of tears only grew faster and she drew the shorter boy into a bone-crushing hug, feeling a rush of affection for him. Peter was pretty adamant on not sharing his food unless he was very fond of you and the situation desperately called for it.

"She's gone mad." She heard James whisper to Remus on her other side. "She's choking Wormtail to death because he gave her chocolate. Look, he's going all red!"

She released him and turned to James, hugging him as tightly as she possibly could. "Oh you stupid boy! Why can't you keep your mouth shut for two bloody seconds?"

"Please let go." He looked positively terrified. "Has someone cursed you? Blink once for yes, twice for no."

Remus set down his book rather hard on the table. "God you're all clueless, clearly something happened at the party! Listen, Etta," He moves so he was kneeling down in front of her and clasped her still shaky hands in his. "Do you want to to try and wake one of the girls? Get them down here?"

Bernadette looked at his soft eyes and worried frown and decided quite quickly that she was just fine where she was. Anyways, she knew that confiding in Lily and Marlene meant she'd be embarrassed as they knew well the duration and severity of her crush. Alice was not a better option, knowing she was happy with her own boyfriend felt almost like a sting.

"No, I wouldn't want to wake them...I just...didn't know where else to go." She glanced furtively at the others in the common room, embarrassed. "Can we...go talk in private?"

The boys wasted little time in herding her up the stairs to their dorm, none really knowing what to say when she was still crying. As soon as the door was shut safely behind her, words slipped from her mouth in a wild torrent, no longer able to keep it in anymore.

Retelling the story had reawakened her rage from before and she had begun pacing angrily from one end of the room to the other, arms flailing manically as she recounted the night.

"And so now I'm here. I look like shit, I was stupid enough to get cut on the broken bottle and now I'm too chicken to even face Lily and Marlene because I know they'll just pity me and that is  _not_  what I need. I just-I just thought he really liked me you know? Or was I just deluding myself?"

She halted her pacing and turned to look at the boys who were all staring up at her from the floor. Eventually, James seemed to work up enough courage to speak.

"I hate to say it but I don't think he was leading you on. Clearly he had some interest in you since he went with you tonight and tried asking you out multiple times before that but maybe he was just looking for someone...easy."

"Easy?" She'd echoed breathlessly. "Am I not easy? Is it that difficult to like me?"

"No, no." James guided her to sit down against one of the beds. "That's not what I mean. It's more like you...or it's rather like...Padfoot, mate, will you give me a hand here?"

Sirius was now across from her. "Look, none of that matters. Clearly you are way out of that prick's league. I mean what kind of absolute wanker do you have to be to go snog another girl when you've got the most beautiful, funny, talented girl standing right in front of you."

She cracked a smile at him. Sirius had an incredible talent for always making her feel better. "But I tried so hard, Sirius. I wore the right clothes, did my hair and makeup right, laughed at his bad jokes and-"

"But that's not who you are." He took her hands up in his own. "You like socks that don't match, you like to leave your hair loose because you get headaches when it's up, you like bright colours and loose fabric that catches the wind, you like sundresses and floral patterns, you like to dance and laugh so hard your sides ache. You shouldn't have to change that for guys to like you, you shouldn't have to try so hard and if anyone tells you otherwise, shoot a curse at their faces. He doesn't know you and that's his loss. So fuck Daniel White."

Bernadette wasn't quite sure what she was supposed to say in response to all of that. She hadn't thought anyone had noticed all that small stuff about her. But she supposed he was right. This wasn't her. Since when did she feel such a need to people-please? If Daniel didn't like the Bernadette who was loud, reckless, a bit stupid and wild then clearly she had been wasting her time.

"Fuck Daniel White." She repeated with a giggle. "I quite like the sound of that, make a nice tattoo."

"There she is!"  
~~

Bernadette had been rather eager to wash off her makeup and get out of this infernal dress and once she had exchanged them for a pair of Sirius' pyjamas she felt far better about herself. The incident that had only occurred an hour or two ago already felt years in her past, a bad memory being flushed out by the muffled voice of Freddie Mercury coming from the other room accompanied by the sound of Sirius obnoxiously singing along, off-key.

Remus had fixed her leg up with some basic healing spells she'd seen her mother performing many times at home due to  both her own and Christopher's knack for falling out of trees, chasing random animals seen in the forest and breaking anything they could get their hands on. Had her eyes not been so bloodshot, it looked almost as if nothing had happened to her that night.

"Hurry up!" James rapped loudly on the door. "I got us tea from the kitchens!"

"I'm coming, calm your tits!"

Bernadette stared at the boys in front of her with distant eyes, her mug of tea already empty as she'd chugged it in one go (only later regretting this due to her now burnt tongue). She wasn't quite sure how she'd gone so long without being their friend. They had gotten along well from the start and in only a year they had managed to become some of her closest friends.

"You okay?"

"Yeah, I just love you guys."

"Stop it." Sirius threw a pillow at her face. "We're supposed to be angry, planning our revenge."

She threw it right back. "I mean I already yelled at him in front of quite a lot of people, isn't that punishment enough?"

"Um, no! We gotta make him suffer. Fuck Daniel White, remember?" She noted how unexpectedly passionate Sirius was about the subject. She was starting to wonder if they had some sort of bitter last judging by their mutual hatred.

"Fine then." She relented, slightly keen to fantasise about exacting revenge even though she knew she couldn't let them go through with it. "How exactly are we planning to ruin his life? Should we go for something simple like Dungbombs or should we pull a Mulciber?"

Sirius seemed to be getting more and more excited by the minute, now grinning devilishly and practically jumping up and down. "We can put itching powder in all his clothes or hex him so that every time he talks to another girl the words ' _I've got a tiny prick_ ' will pop up on his forehead or make all his hair fall out!"

"Yes, yes and yes!"

Remus looked down at the two with a soft smile and shook his head, tossing Peter's discarded Chocolate Frog wrapper in the bin.

"As a prefect, I will tell you that it is irresponsible and dangerous," he joined them where they were seated on Sirius' bed. "But as your friend I will tell you to cut off his family jewels."

Bernadette leapt from her place and tackled him off the bed. "That's the spirit, Moony!"  
~~

The following morning, a groggy, bleary-eyed Bernadette joined Lily, Marlene and Alice at breakfast. She had slept on a mattress James had conjured in their dorm although none of them got much beauty rest, spending hours suggesting increasingly ridiculous plots for pranking Daniel.

"You okay?" Lily had dropped a few slices of toasts on her plate while Alice poured her out some tea. "Jane told us what happened last night and said you didn't come back to the dorm. Where did you go then?"

She shrugged. "Had a sleepover with the boys, you lot were asleep when I came and I didn't wanna bother you."

Marlene dropped her fork with a loud clatter and pouted mockingly. "You had a sleepover without me?"

Lily looked mildly annoyed. "That's not the issue here. You know you can come to us whenever, right Etta?"

She sighed. This was exactly what she didn't want. She didn't want to be serious, not when the whole world was. For once she just wanted to be silly and have some fun. "I know, it's just that ice cream and crying wasn't what I needed last night."

She didn't miss the flash of hurt which crossed Lily's face but she didn't regret what she said as it was the truth and Lily didn't deserve half-assed lies. Still, guilt pulled and twisted at her stomach. "The ice cream and crying is obviously for tonight, I needed to save up my energy for it."

"Because you are the epitome of energetic right now." Marlene snickered into her hand, eyes darting to the mess of tangles which was Bernadette's hair and her prominent dark circles.

"Yeah, I could run a fucking marathon, wanna bet McKinnon?"

"Sure you're okay though?" Alice nudged her arm gently.

"Yeah, he was a right git, I'm way out of his league."

The other girls exchanged looks, clearly not convinced but didn't press on the subject, knowing well they wouldn't get anything out of her when she was so determined not to speak of it. So they fell into silence, nobody daring to speak

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Me: *hums along to NSYNC with lobsters on my socks and dressed in a penguin onesie even though Christmas is over with a full face of makeup while writing a very emotional chapter which will affect character dynamics and the plot* "I'm a serious writer".  
> Also, realised how horrible the first few chapters are so I'm gonna have to go back and do some serious editing (nor am I a fan at how parts of this came out I think I just can't write dialogue).  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	34. Chapter Eight: The Nightmare Before Christmas

**-December 1976-**

Bernadette had decided that she really did not like Christmas. Sure, she liked getting presents, but it was cold and she no longer had her family around to carry out all their traditions. That year there were no matching jumpers, no boring Mass, no food-eating competitions not to mention that there was no Henry. Christopher had reassured her that they'd have a brilliant time at his place but something about the idea of spending Christmas with her brother and his new girlfriend felt wrong and she felt only dread.

She didn't know Charlotte, but her brother's taste in girlfriends had never been too good, falling hard and fast but quickly losing interest. His longest relationship had spanned eight months and that was purely due to the fact that he was too lazy to actually break up with the poor girl. The fact that he was now apparently so serious about another woman was kind of frustrating, letting her into their lives.

Not only was the entire prospect of Christmas bringing her down but Daniel continued his efforts in trying to talk to her, in between classes, during mealtimes, on her way back from the library, she was starting to wonder if he was stalking her. It was incredibly humiliating as his actions seemed to fuel the rumours circulating the school about what had gone down. It was irritating and she was starting to consider actually going through with some of the elaborate schemes she and the boys had planned out.

While Bernadette considered herself rather good at concealing her sour mood, her patience was wearing thin with every ticking moment. It was becoming increasingly more difficult to paint on a smile and pretend like everything was fine when it couldn't have been further from fine.

"Chris wrote." Josephine said tautly over her tea, having joined her sister for breakfast as she so often did those days. "Wants to know if you're okay with not having cranberry sauce."

Bernadette rolled her eyes and threw down her piece of toast, having suddenly lost her appetite. "What we're having for dinner isn't the problem here!"

"You're dreading it then?"

"Yeah, just doesn't feel like Christmas if Mum, Dad, Gran and Henry aren't there."

Josephine opened her mouth as if to say something but quickly closed it, deciding that no matter how she phrased it, it would come out as wildly insensitive. She settled on a simple: "Yeah."

They sighed in mutual irritation.

"While we're on the topic," Josephine sounded hesitant, as if she already regretted bringing it up. "You know my friend, Cass?"

"The blonde one, yeah?" She vaguely recalled the small twig of a girl who trailed after her sister like a lost puppy, whose eyes were so big they almost popped out of her head and hair so frizzy that it covered half her face. "What about her?"

Josephine set her mug down on the table with a clink, drumming her fingers anxiously on the table. "She may have invited me to her place for the Christmas holidays."

Bernadette frowned. "I'm sure Chris won't mind getting you to your friend's for a visit. It's the least he can do considering the circumstances."

The younger girl thumbed her lips. "I was kinda planning on staying with her the whole time, actually."

"Oh." Her chest felt heavy, like her lungs were full of rocks, jagged edges cutting her open from the inside out. "Okay then. Does Chris know?"

"Yeah."

Her eye twitched slightly, she couldn't help but feel a pang of pain that Josephine had gone to that arse before her. It wasn't fair, she was the only one suffering. Christopher had his girlfriend, Josephine had Cass, Bernadette had no one now. Not really, anyways. Normally, she'd go to Connie with such whining but after the events of that summer, it wasn't exactly an option, she was lucky if she could get more than a few sentences out of the poor girl.

"Good for you." Her voice was strained, smile forced, never quite reaching her eyes, bloodshot and heavy. "At least one of us will have a decent Christmas."

Sourly, she tore her eyes from her sister and stared at her abandoned toast. She was sure she would pretend to be okay with this arrangement after a while but she desperately needed and excuse to mope for a few hours. Honestly, she didn't blame Josephine, she would've leaped at the chance if it had been her. But it wasn't her. She would spend her Christmas in a dingy flat in central London with her stupid brother and his stupid girlfriend, eating bad food and missing her parents terribly.

"Hey, Bernadette." A nervous voice came from behind her. "Can we talk?"

Her day had just gotten fifteen times worse and it wasn't even nine. She screwed her eyes tightly shut, wondering that if she wished hard enough, he'd just go away. The fact that Daniel did not want her, still stung, no matter how many times her friends insisted she was so much better than him and she couldn't bear to look at him. She used to dread his graduation, now she was counting down the days until he did. Until she wouldn't have to act as if she wasn't pathetically humiliated when they locked eyes in the corridors, until the rumours finally ceased.

"No." Josephine answered for her, rising from the bench and drawing herself up to her fullest height (despite barely even reaching his shoulder) and shot him her most deadly of looks. "She doesn't want to see you right now and this endless pestering is not doing you any favours."

Bernadette fixed her gaze on the trembling mug of steaming tea in her sister's hand and bit down on her thumb to stop herself from dissolving into tears. She had never felt quite so alone since Henry had died. It was stupid but she felt this wide, gaping expanse between her and everyone else.

"But-"

"Get lost." To her immense surprise, Connie had come to her side, wand clutched so tightly that her knuckles had turned white. Bernadette hadn't heard her speak with such emotion in months, how odd that it would be to Daniel White, a boy she had likely never even spoken face-to-face with. Perhaps she wasn't quite as alone as she thought she was.

Although she could not see him, Bernadette imagined Daniel placing his tongue between his teeth as he usually did when irritated.

"Bern-"

There was a gasp from behind her. Bernadette flew around, choking down her stupid feelings and letting morbid curiosity replace them and saw Connie's sleek alder wood wand pressed up against his neck. There was the clacking of heels as Professor McGonagall ran down from the staff table in a panicked frenzy, fumbling for her wand amidst the rolls of emerald fabric.

"Did I stutter?" Connie's tone was cool and calm. "Leave. Her. Alone."

Daniel nodded shakily and backed away quickly, eyeing her poised wand warily, not trusting her to not attack. Bernadette laughed airily and squeezed Connie's free hand proudly. She had really missed her best friend. She'd missed her motherly, sometimes snarky, loyal best friend. She smiled back and Bernadette's heart leaped. She hadn't seen that smile in far too long. That smile gave her enough confidence to do what she'd been wanting to since she'd seen her date snogging the face off another girl.

"Wait!"

She deftly snatched the mug out of Josephine's grasp and pattered carefully after the boy, glancing nervously at McGonagall who'd almost reached them. Clearly, Daniel had been expecting her forgiveness, her doting simper which only made the feeling of turning the contents of the mug over his head even more enjoyable.

A laugh bubbled in her throat. The sight of Daniel, wet hair clinging to his cheeks, school shirt stained brown, his raspy breaths and terrified eyes, thrilled her. It almost rid her completely of he poisonous thoughts. Usually, she'd feel regret over such an impulsive decision but this time she most certainly did not feel one shred of remorse over any of her actions.

"Fifty points from Hufflepuff!" McGonagall had finally reached them and took the dripping mug away. "Each. See me in my office, all four of you, yes Mr White, that includes you."

Mary had been quick on the scene. "But Professor-"

"I won't hear any of that Miss MacDonald, you too McKinnon."

Bernadette waved her hands to stop them from protesting further. "It's fine, guys, I got what I wanted. What's a few more detentions anyways?"

They trailed after McGonagall out of the Great Hall where most eyes were fixed upon them, whispers already breaking out about what had transpired and made their way up the staircases to her office, silence laying thick over their heads. This was most certainly not Bernadette's first time there. Many a time she'd been caught red-handed doing something she most definitely shouldn't have been doing and was dragged in.

The windows were large, morning sunlight streaming through grey clouds and casting a glow on the Transfiguration professor's steely glare. She had summoned extra chairs in front of her desk so they could all wither under her judgement and stayed silent for a few agonising seconds, lips pursed bitterly.

"Why is it you can't go a week without causing some kind of trouble, Miss Sommers?"

"It's hereditary." She spoke plainly with a shrug. "Anyways, can you just give me detention, I've got Care of Magical Creatures this morning and I don't wanna miss it. He well deserved it anyways, prick."

Josephine aimed a kick at her shin. "No, Professor, please, Bernie doesn't mean that-"

"Oh yes I bloody well do!" Her simmering anger had come to a boil. "What he did to me was not okay! Tell me I'm being overdramatic, impulsive, whatever, I've heard it all before and of course, everyone is going to take his side."

She sat back, crossing both her legs and her arms tightly to further emphasise her point and to let everyone know that she absolutely refused to apologise. She was done with moping, she no longer had the time for it now that her Connie was back.

"I think I'd quite like to hear this story, actually, before I choose any 'sides', Miss Sommers." McGonagall retrieved a tin from her desk drawer and slid it across the wood towards them as she had after Bernadette had attacked Mulciber last year. She hoped it wouldn't become a tradition.

Daniel went to recount his tale first, leaning away from the three girls as if one might suddenly leap up and attack him once more.

"It's nothing much, Professor." He insisted while Bernadette scoffed. "We went out on a date, it didn't go well and I made better use of my time."

All three girls made sounds of outrage.

"If only it were that simple!" Bernadette spat at him. "You've been leading me on for months, finally agree to go out with me and not even ten minutes into the night and you're snogging another girl. Then, I try to be the bigger person and move on but you won't leave me alone! It's called harassment, you know, following me around when I've stated explicitly that I do not want to speak with you!"

She reached into the open tin and took a biscuit, biting into it defiantly, sugar slightly easing her anger.

"Is this true?" The older woman looked towards Josephine and Mary who nodded quickly in agreement.

"Well, I hate to say it Miss Sommers," McGonagall stared down at her through her spectacles. "Nothing warrants an attack on another student. If another student is bothering you, talk to a professor before taking matters into your own hands. A month's detention with me, I'm afraid."

"Fine with me." She grinned through a mouthful of biscuits. "Can I go now?"

"Not yet." She'd turned herself to Daniel who seemed to wither underneath her attention. "If what I've heard is true, Mr White, you will also be receiving a month's detention."

He nodded solemnly.

"You are dismissed."

Daniel was out of the room like a bullet, speeding away, probably to go clean up before class while the girls thanked McGonagall quietly, not voicing their opinions on the ruling in fear of increasing the punishment. In fact, Bernadette thought she'd been lucky she hadn't been expelled.

"Oh, and Miss Sommers?"

"Yes?"

"Try not to make a habit of this." She appeared oddly sympathetic. "I know you're going through a rough time but I'd rather you didn't take your anger out on other students. But if you were, might I suggest a member of the Slytherin Quidditch team?"

She leaned against the doorway. "Are you encouraging me to misbehave, Professor?"

"Of course not, simply redirecting your efforts if you are so adamant on disregarding everything I say."  
~~

The rest of the day passed by far too slowly for Bernadette's liking. Students either gave her a wide berth in fear of her wrath or pestered her with questions over what had happened between her and Daniel White. She'd kept answers brief and vague but she was starting to get rather annoyed by it. At least it served as a decent distraction from all her worries about Christmas.

At lunch, she'd stuffed as much food as she could into her bag before bolting out, not in the mood to deal with curious stares and not-so-inconspicuous whispers. Bernadette and her friends had managed to sneak outside undetected by other nosy students, pulling in their robes tightly around themselves in the bitter cold.

They'd settled not far from the line of trees which headed into the forest so the wind couldn't get at them as easily and watched smoke billow up from Hagrid's hut in clouds. Lily was less annoyed at Bernadette's actions than she'd thought she'd be, sparing her the usual withering stares and long-winded lectures. In a way, it felt like she could forget all about the current state of her life. She'd almost forgotten how much she'd missed their old group dynamic. Now that Connie was back to herself, all felt right with the world.

The steaming flask of tea was passed round to her and she stuck her face into the steam, sighing contently. "Oh Lord Almighty, I thank you for blessing us puny mortals with the gift of tea."

"Oi, stop hogging it!" Mary smacked her hand after two large gulps. "Sharing is caring."

Reluctantly, she forfeited the flask and shivered in the sudden lack of warmth. "Lily, why don't you just cast a Charm to make me warm? I'll get pneumonia."

"You can't just rely on me to keep you warm, Etta." The redhead didn't appear to be as cold as the others, clearly having already cast the charm on herself, a traitorous act that Bernadette would have called out had she not appreciated the peace so much. "I told you that you should have kept the subject on to N.E.W.T. level."

"You also told me you would never be friends with James Potter and yet I could've sworn I saw you two passing messages in-OW!" She was knocked back off the rock she'd been perched on from a sudden jet of light which soared out of a crimson-cheeked Lily. "That was not very nice!"

"Tough."  
~~

That night was a particularly chilly one, frost had creeped over window panes and the railing in the Astronomy Tower and cold, bitter gusts sapped all the heat from their bodies as they huddled close together. Bernadette shrieked as the wind suddenly picked up, extinguishing both their lit cigarettes and she clutched on tightly to his arm.

"You sure you don't wanna head back to your dorm?" His teeth chattered slightly.

She frowned, brushing some wind-swept hair out of her eyes. "But...this is our place."

"Yeah, but it's not exactly practical." He shivered as if to emphasise his point.

Her fingers twisted round the loose fabric of the jumper he was wearing, clearly something he'd borrowed from Remus due to the length and pattern. "Please, can we just stay here a bit longer?"

He stared down at her before a knowing look crossed his face. "Do you want me to go beat that prick up?"

"No, don't do that, I've tormented him enough I think." She chuckled despite herself. "Besides, Daniel isn't what's bothering me, he was more like a very irritating little bug buzzing around my head."

"I still would't be object to-"

She whacked his arm, grinning nonetheless. "Don't you dare, Black. I am perfectly capable of beating stupid boys up myself and it's far more satisfying when it's done by my own hand. But I appreciate the sentiment."

"Nice job with that this morning, by the way." He said. "Very creative, usually you just go in with your fists."

"What can I say, I'm an old-fashioned gal."

They dissolved into laughter, the noise swallowed by the harsh gales beating their faces. The horrendous weather no longer seemed to matter to them, they simply wanted to cherish this moment of light in the darkness which seemed to be slowly consuming their world.

Truth was, the increasing bleakness of Daily Prophet headlines and amount of students being pulled out of school was affecting everyone and even if most pretended nothing was out of the ordinary, the change was greatly felt. Bernadette in particular had been having difficulty dealing with this reality especially with her best friend so...unresponsive, hence, moments like that were to be treasured.

Sirius' next words shattered the perfect moment. "But really, what's bothering you then?"

Her smile dropped. "It's nothing, can we move on?"

"No." He was holding her wrist tightly so she had no hope of fleeing the scene. "Tell me, you're not going to sleep without resolving whatever it is that's bugging you."

She stared up at him oddly. They were both used to venting to each other while up in the Astronomy Tower, that was how their friendship had come about in the first place, but she'd never seen him so insistent about it. She often felt bad for unloading all her problems on him but it was hard not to considering nobody else had ever seemingly cared enough to really listen to her, to try and understand.

"You sure?" She stared at him hesitantly. "I may launch into a very long-winded rant about how horrible my life is."

"I've never known you to demand staying out in the cold, Nettle, that means there's something wrong. You've got a mouth, I've got two ears, spill."

With a sigh, she confessed how much she was dreading Christmas holidays with her brother however not mentioning the added stress of knowing that William knew where Christopher lived and that there was a possibility of him trying to contact her in person. Once she'd started, she couldn't stop, expressing to him just how outraged she was at Christopher's nonchalance over their family's attack and how even more awful it was that she was to stay there with him and his girlfriend alone and just how completely unfair the whole situation was.

"So now I'm angry, sad, disappointed and very very hungry." She finished, going to take a drag of her cigarette before realising that it was no longer lit. "Told you I was just being a bit of a drama queen about it all but what else would you expect from me? I live for the sheer theatrics of it all."

"I don't think you're overreacting." He said, much to her surprise. "I'd be pretty pissed off too but I think I may just have a solution for you."

"What?" She leaned closer, eagerly.

"You'll see."

With his signature smirk, all dimples and charm, he ruffled her knotted hair before swiftly pulling her up to her feet and dragging her down the spiral staircase before she could protest. But really, she knew better than to argue, his own confidence in his solution was enough to ease her own worries. Perhaps she could get some sleep that night.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this is a bit late, ya girl is tired. The new dance company is going well and we already have three or four performances lined up so that's great and I bought loads of new dance clothes. Also looking forward to my TY Ball next week I might put up a picture because I wanna gloat on how gorgeous I'll look even though nobody reads this shitty book. Wrote this chapter while rolling out my arches under the desk and Jesus Christ I want to carve out my metatarsals.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar  
> P.s. Does the ending feel rushed? I'm not sure because I wrote it in a rush.


	35. Chapter Nine: Frosty the Troll

**-December 1976-**

When James Potter burst into the Great Hall on a very chilly Sunday morning that left the students shivering and in rotten moods and demanded she start packing her bags, Bernadette wasn't sure what on earth was going on. She let him drag her down corridors, their footsteps echoing in wide expanses of space all while he pointedly ignored all her stuttered questions. She wasn't all too happy at being uprooted from eating breakfast nor being forced to run at such an early hour but James was set.

"Jesus Potter!" She cried as the rounded a sharp turn. "What kinda drugs are you on?"

"Doesn't matter!" He said, narrowly avoiding running straight through Nearly Headless Nick. "This is fantastic!"

"What's fantastic?"

Judging from the thundering behind them, somebody (or somebodies) were chasing after them. A squeak and loud clatter revealed that one of these people was Peter and the barking laugh that followed afterwards proved that Sirius was also present. She hoped she was being dragged into another adventure with the boys rather than the day of studying she'd promised Lily.

They flew down the staircase leading to the dungeons, taking them four at a time (she was lucky her legs weren't quite as short as Mary or Connie's who both surely would have fallen) and passing the entrance to the kitchens. She decided they must have been heading for her dorm as it was highly unlikely they would seek out to prank the Slytherins down there as most were at breakfast and they didn't have any other business in the lower levels of the school.

She was proved correct when James finally skidded to a halt outside the stacked wooden barrels which concealed the entrance to the Hufflepuff common room and pushed her towards them.

"Come on, get in." He urged impatiently. "The train leaves tomorrow and Mum wanted me to make sure you packed loads of woolly jumpers."

She shot him an incredulous look, digging her heels into the ground and refusing to budge. "What are you talking about? Why does your Mum care what clothes I'm packing?"

"Did I not tell you?"

"No!"

"Oopsy Daisy, sorry." He stuck a hand inside his janes pocket and fished around for a second before pulling out a piece of parchment and stuffing it into her hands and excitedly bouncing on the balls of his feet.

_Dear James,_   
_For starters, I do wish you wouldn't fuss so much over your father. He promised he'd be home by the 22nd and I'm sure he'll have lots of little gifts for you from America and you'll forget right away about any arguments you intended to impose._

_Secondly, of course Bernadette can stay with us. You and Sirius never shut up about her and I'm quite eager to meet her in person. We've got spare beds and extra chairs but if you'd only owled me earlier I could've gotten her some presents, honestly you're terrible for procrastination. I hope she likes fudge._

_Looking forward to having you home,_   
_Mum._   
_P.s. Make sure Bernadette has lots of jumpers, Muggle forecast says its going to snow and I wouldn't want her to be cold._

Bernadette looked up from the letter to James which trembled in her hands and smiled tearfully at him. This had to be a dream, all her problems were just resolving themselves and her Christmas was looking to be far less miserable than she'd predicted.

"Thank you." She leapt forward to engulf James Potter in a bond-crushing hug, trying to get her message across without having to use words and risk bursting into tears,

"Don't thank me, Sirius was the one who suggested it." He nodded his head over to the other boys who had just caught up with them, red-faced and slightly out of breath.

She looked at the boy in question as he turned away at the mention of his name. She didn't deserve a friend as wonderful as him. "You are such an arse." She punched his shoulder lightly. "Going behind my back and fixing my life again!"

"So Prongs gets a hug and all I get is abuse?" He mocked an offended tone. "I see how it is."

"Oh shut up, you know I love you!"  
~~

To say Bernadette was nervous about meeting James' parents was an understatement. His father was a famed potioneer with powerful connections and his mother, despite seeming very warm and motherly in the letter she'd written her son, James described her as the most terrifying woman he knew. Their immense wealth only made matters worse, making her feel self-conscious over her ripped clothes, poor posture and rather thick Scottish accent.

The entire ride from Hogwarts to Platform Nine and Three Quarters she sat in silence, resisting the urge to knaw at her bottom lip as she so often did when nervous while the boys chattered around her, exchanging gifts and throwing sweets at each other.

She sat next to Remus, his book closed in his lap, colourful wrappers scattered around them and on her other side was the window, snow-capped mountains and leafless trees left in their wake. Sirius' feet were thrown up on her lap as he sat opposite, hugging the cassette tape she'd gotten him close to his chest. James had disappeared long before, having left to go seek Lily out and try to give her a pretty green dress he'd bought for her on Bernadette's recommendation. Peter was wedged between Remus and the wall, knees tucked up to his chest and not-so-discreetly hiding the pile of liquorice wands he had stuffed down his jumper.

Sometimes, Bernadette felt as if she didn't quite belong when she hung out with them, they'd been there for each other through thick and thin for almost six years when they knew her as nothing more than 'the chatty Hufflepuff who's friends with Lily and Marlene' before last year but it was times like that when she felt she slid into the group with ease.

"Why so pensive, Nettle?" Sirius poked her with his shoeless foot, snitches darting around on his enchanted socks. "I've been trying to offer you this Chocolate Frog for five minutes straight with no answer."

"Sorry." She flashed a taut smile. "Just tired, Jane was snoring all last night, she has a sinus infection."

Peter shuddered. "Ew! Didn't need to know that, Etta!"

"Don't tell me you're nervous." Sirius sat up a bit straighter in his seat, feet sliding off her lap and crashing onto the floor. "Oh Merlin, you are!"

She felt her cheeks heating up. "Shut up! I just don't want his parents to think I'm some poor farm girl who needs their charity."

"Then what am I?" He raised his eyebrows. "I took their charity."

"You know well I didn't mean it like that!" She could already feel a headache coming on. "You're like a second son to them, I'm just some randomer who comes waltzing in on their Christmas-"

He leaned forward and took her hands up in his, a stern glare fixed on her, eyes as dark as storm clouds. "Listen here, they love you already, you think I-we wouldn't mention you in our letters?"

"But then they have a set expectation of what I'm like."

"Expectations I'm sure you will live up to." Remus nudged her shoulder. "Now eat something, you haven't touched any sweets and I promised Peter I wouldn't let him eat them all."

Peter made a sound of indignation at the sudden attention on how much he'd eaten and red crawled up his neck as Bernadette snorted and accepted the Chocolate Frog passed her way, burying her worries deep in her mind .  
~~

Euphemia Potter was a tall, stately woman with broad shoulders and a square jaw. She was dressed in royal blue robes and had a pair of glasses perched on the bridge of her nose. Upon spotting the children, her shoulders released some of their tension and she drew the two boys into a hug, ignoring James' protests.

Bernadette stood back patiently, running her fingers through her hair in the hopes of making it look less like she'd brushed it with a chainsaw until hazel eyes were fixed upon her.

"You must be Bernadette Sommers." Her voice did not match her appearance, deep and warm. "I've heard so much about you."

"All good things, I hope." She squeaked out lamely, shaking the woman's hand. Her grip was firm and strong.

"Of course, now, let me take your trunk."

"Oh no, it's fine-"

"Nonsense."

Before she could argue further, her trunk was levitating behind James' mother and they'd all started off, pushing through the throng, Sirius keeping a tight hold on her wrist to make sure she wasn't swallowed in the sea of people.   
~~

James Potter had always come off as a boy raised in comfort and stability but she'd never quite pinned him to be living in such a grand house due to his relatively carefree attitude and his blatant disregard for other wealthy wizard families, especially the Sacred Twenty-Eight, some of which she was sure had even smaller abodes.

The living room was bigger than the entire first floor of her own house, decorated similarly to the Gryffindor Common Room, deep crimsons and golds, ornate wood carvings and shelves upon shelves of various trophies and medals. She didn't dare move from her place on the carpet, not wanting to get anything dirty with her soot-covered hands after taking the Floo. A great big chandelier hung from the high ceiling, lights glittering off the little crystals and gold.

There were large windows overlooking a huge garden filled with a myriad of magical plants, green untouched by the frost that seemed to cover every inch of surrounding land. She assumed the impressive garden was due to James' father, she'd read somewhere that he grew lots of his own ingredients at home. She was sure Professor Sprout would have drooled at the sight.

"I knew you'd love the garden, nerd." James spoke from behind her. "Dad will be happy to give you a tour once he's home, says nobody appreciates all the hard work he puts into it so he'll be over the moon once he meets you."

"It must be a devil to maintain." She shook her head over the mere thought of it. "Looks as if he's somehow charmed different climates over corresponding plants."

He nodded. "Thats mostly Mum's work, she's brilliant with charms."

"Your mum's bloody brilliant."

"Thank you."

She leapt half a foot in the air, fingers clutching at the loose material of her top which rested over her heart. She hadn't realised that Euphemia had Flooed herself in yet nor that she was standing almost directly behind her. How unbelievably embarrassing.

As the clacking of the older woman's heels grew quieter, she buried her face in her hands and groaned silently in self-pity. A hand clapped down on her shoulder. "Nice one, you've got a real way with people."

"You watch your mouth, Black." She took a swipe at him, smearing soot over his lips. "It'll get ya in trouble someday."

He came after her with his own pair of filthy hands which she narrowly dodged and instead allowed him to cover James' cheeks with dark cinders. She stifled a giggle, messing around and acting like a child was a wonderful idea to distract herself from how intimidating her whole situation was, despite still being better than the alternative.

"Oi!" James lurched forwards, arms outstretched. "Get back here you prick!"

Ducking away from the brewing spat, Bernadette tiptoed out of the living room and out into the hall which was just as warm and well-lit as the other room. The walls were lined with pictures featuring a scruffy-haired little boy, easily recognisable as James, pottering around on stubby little legs, covered head to toe in flour which had spilled across the floor, gesturing excitedly to his Hogwarts acceptance letter. It was clear that he was a cherished child, a miracle. Other pictures showed what must have been a younger Fleamont Potter, he shared James' wild hair and cocked back his shoulders so that he radiated confidence and charm. James was undeniably his father's son.

Slipping through the nearest open doorway, Bernadette entered what must have been the kitchen, fancy porcelain winking at her from behind glass and a kettle screaming its head off. Euphemia had exchanged her robes for an apron she was unlikely to have bought for herself as it had the words 'Easy-Bake Coven' across the chest in silver lettering and had a little broom tracing the hem and was waving her wand around to get started on dinner.

A part of her was surprised that they didn't have a House Elf, most wealthy, pure blood families did. Personally, she didn't quite agree with the arrangement as most elves were treated abysmally, like slaves but their ingrained need to serve and accept such conditions meant freeing them wouldn't be doing all that much good either.

"Do you need something, dear?"

"Oh," she straightened her back. "I'm not exactly great with words but I just wanted to say...thank you, Mrs Potter, for letting me stay here, I can't express how grateful I really am."

"Enough with that, I was glad to do it." She waved the younger girl off, ducking as a metal pot flew over her head. "If you're looking for your room, it's on the second floor, fifth door to the left, right next to Sirius'."

It seemed as if Euphemia was motherly and warm in her own, no-nonsense way, perhaps that was why James was so attached to Professor McGonagall, she shared a similar manner. With another ' _thank you, Mrs Potter_ ' she left the room once more and returned to the living room where James and Sirius were now sprawled over the plush couch, squeaky clean and yawning contently. They were clearly too tired to pursue the fight any further, she didn't blame them, it had been a long journey from Hogwarts to London and once all the excitement wore off, one was left drowsy and peckish.

She wrapped her fingers tightly around the handle of her trunk and began to drag it across the floor before Sirius called out to her. "Where do you think you're going?"

"My room, dumbo, to go get all this shit off me."

He pointed his wand at her and with a gush of air, she felt all the soot lifting up off her skin and disappearing into the air. "You forget that I'm of age and can legally cast magic outside of school."

"Like the law ever stopped you before." She said, grinning cheekily at him. "And if you're gonna go around waving your little stick for anything, at least put yourself to use and get my trunk up the stairs."

"Your wish is my command." He hoisted himself off the couch, flipping off James who was mocking him and led Bernadette out of the room, down the hall and up some steep, carpeted stairs.

The next floor was also full of pictures of James however he looked slightly older, perhaps thirteen or fourteen and there were now some of the other boys scattered around, clearly ones he'd sent home himself. With a jolt, she spotted herself in one of the pictures, taken by the Black Lake last summer, wind rustling through her floral patterned dress, Sirius' arm draped over her shoulders as they laughed at a silent joke.

"I like that one too." Sirius had come to a stop beside her. "We look so much younger, even though it's only been a few months."

"Remember when we were more stressed out over exams than the fact that our lives were in danger." She chuckled without humour. "So much has changed in such little time."

He nudged her forwards. "Stop being so sad, come on, don't put me in a bad mood before dinner."

Her room was bigger than her own at home, smaller than her dorm at Hogwarts. She wondered if perhaps she was still dreaming as it was as if the room was plucked straight from her mind and dumped into the Potter Mansion. The windows were huge, setting sun basking the room in a warm golden glow, a chair set just beside them in the perfect spot to watch over the rolling hills that surrounded them. The bedspread was patchwork, just like how her gran had made for her as a child and the nightstand held a vase of Black-eyed Susans and Baby's Breath. Other than that, the design was simplistic, she couldn't possibly have imagined anything better.

"I'm just next door, so give me a shout if you need anything." He set her trunk down at the end of the bed with a thud and ruffled her hair as he passed. Yes, she was sure she must have been dreaming.   
~~

Bernadette felt as if she was living in a dream. She quickly became accustomed to James' mother and shed her stiff, overly-polite mask after only a day or two. Her days were spent messing about with the boys, getting drenched outside in the snow and her evenings were quiet, playing board games by the roaring fire, sipping hot drinks in fluffy pyjamas. She hadn't thought that her Christmas could get any better until she finally met Fleamont Potter.

The evening of the twenty-second, raspy cold winds beating against the windows, snow painting the ground white, Bernadette was trying to knit a scarf, following Euphemia's actions to the best of her ability, brow furrowed in concentration, James and Sirius leaned against each other while watching their friend's struggle and doing a poor job at concealing their laughter. All four had jumped at the sound of three loud knocks on the front door, no visitors were expected in such horrendous weather, even the Death Eaters would be mad to attack at such a time, their toes would surely freeze before they could cast a single curse.

Silence fell upon the room like a heavy blanket and Euphemia rose slowly to her feet, drawing her wand out from her pocket and treading lightly out into the hall. Bernadette abandoned the hole-ridden scarf on the couch and followed quick after Euphemia and the boys who also had wands at the ready.

"Who is it?" Euphemia's voice was level and calm yet the slight tremor in her hand was not missed. As well-known blood-traitors, she was sure that the Potters were another target for You-Know-Who's followers.

"Take a guess," a voice could barely be heard over the whistling wind. "Let me in, Mia, it's Baltic out there!"

"Password, Monty," she sighed. "You should know the drill by now."

"Honeysuckle, Omaha, marshmallow, elephant."

The door was swung open and Bernadette felt a rush of cold air assault her face, snow crawling in from the doorway before it was slammed shut once again, wands tucked safely away and a stranger in the hall.

He wore thick, dragon-hide boots, what little hair he still had was wet and stuck to his head from braving the snow outside. She assumed that this man was James' father, he looked younger in the pictures mounted around the house but he was still easily recognisable. He was a big man, tall and wide, unlike his lean son, but his cheeks were cherry red and made him look more like a friendly old giant.

Euphemia brushed the snow from his shoulders and kissed his cheek before tutting in disapproval. "You're soaked, why didn't you cast any protective charms before sacrificing yourself to the elements?"

"You know I'm rubbish at charms and I didn't dare take the Floo, probably would have ended up in some poor random family's fireplace by accident." He dropped his bag and brushed past her, surging forwards and wrapping James up in a bear hug. It almost hurt to see James so happy with his family when she hadn't heard from her own in weeks. "There's my boy!"

"Jesus, Dad!" He laughed teasingly. "Get off! You're drenched!"

"Well forgive me for wanting to welcome you back." He released James and rounded on Sirius. At this, she let her own longing for parental love slip away in favour of being happy that Sirius was finally loved like a son. Despite the rolling of his eyes and the protesting, he leaned into the hug and gripped at the older man's coat as if his life depended on it.

It was then that Fleamont Potter spotted her and his whole face lit up like the Christmas Tree in the living room. "You must be the famous Bernadette I've heard so much about." She was swept into a bone-crushing hug of her own.

"That's me." She choked out lamely once set back down on her feet. "Thanks for letting me stay in your home-"

He patted her shoulder to silence her. "Stop it, it's a pleasure to have you over, James tells me you're a Herbology enthusiast, it'll be wonderful to have someone who appreciates it the same way I do for once." He flashed the others a playful glare. "Anyways, I'm starving, how about a cuppa and some beans on toast? Nothing better, I tell ya."

Bernadette watched him as he plodded to the kitchen, old floorboards creaking under his frame, she really didn't have anything to worry about.   
~~

Christmas Eve had dragged up some nasty memories from the previous year, kicking off her day by waking up in a cold sweat, shaking and unable to remove the image of a little limp hand from her mind. Somehow, it didn't feel right to enjoy Christmas anymore, even if she knew well that Henry would be encouraging her to have as much fun as she could. Last year, that same day, she'd been in St. Mungo's, sat by her brother's bedside, exchanging early Christmas gifts while the others slept, trying not to cry, to not let herself rip at the seams and become undone.

She splashed her face with cold water in the bathroom, breathing ragged, still hearing the coughs that wracked his body in the back of her mind. Her reflection stared back at her in the mirror, eyes wide and terrified, skin a sickly green colour, water dripping off her skin and to the floor. She was sure she couldn't use the excuse of being sick, they'd have her down a potion and send her off into the snow without a card in the world. She had no other choice but to hope they wouldn't notice.

Downstairs, she'd been handed a mug of steaming tea, milky and sweet and Sirius had loaded her plate up with rashers, sausages and eggs, claiming that she needed the protein if Hufflepuff were to have any chance at beating Gryffindor for the Quidditch Cup. James' dad had slipped half a vial of Pepper-Up Potion withdrawn from inside his tweed jacket into her tea upon noticing her ragged appearance and launched into a story about an American witch who'd tried to sell him some eyeballs in a jar.

She couldn't deny that the potion helped to ease her worries, bringing colour back to her cheeks and filling her with a light and bubbly feeling. The boys had dragged her outside, bundled up in hats and scarves with only their eyes visible under the thick layers, away from the grand house and up a steep hill. The wind had died down and it was no longer snowing, white flakes laying dormant on the ground until being disturbed by three pairs of heavy snow boots dragging the owners up the slippery slope.

They couldn't talk much, voices muffled behind their getup and ears blocked by hats and earmuffs but had seemed to come to the general agreement of building a snowman. Was it childish? Perhaps but they were still children and it wasn't as if there was anyone else around to judge them for it. There was a muggle village not too far away and another manor visible on the other side of the hill but its windows were dark and James claimed he'd never seen a soul enter or leave, a comment that had sent a chill running down her spine.

It took the good part of two hours to build the eight-foot monstrosity they'd dubbed Frosty the Troll, even with the help of magic which Sirius was free to use and it stood menacingly at the very top of the hill, glaring down with eyes of buttons torn from an old coat and an almost threatening grin of rocks which stretched from ear to ear and an empty bottle of Firewhiskey stuck to the layered stick arms (an extra detail courtesy of Sirius and his odd sense of humour).

They'd rolled back down the hill, taking the faster route even if it would surely have them soaked to the bone and had piled themselves back inside the house, shivering and teeth chattering before gladly accepting huge mugs of hot chocolate which warmed their frozen fingers and lit fires inside their stomach, burning out the chill.

While outside, it had been easier to focus on building Frosty rather than the aching hollowness of her soul but now that she was back inside, it all came rushing back, hitting her like a brick to the face. Her smile had faded, eyes dimmed, not returning for the remainder of the day. She'd watched the festivities in silence and spoke only when spoken to.

The boys knew better to comment on her mood, they knew firsthand just how distraught she got even just thinking about her late brother and let her be. Euphemia wasn't around much, frantic and practically killing herself with last-minute preparations and Fleamont had locked himself up in the basement, where James told her he brewed all his potions so they didn't bother her and she was left free to wallow in her misery. It felt wrong to be happy when Henry wasn't around.

That evening, they'd all gathered in the living room around the roaring fire, warmth making them drowsy. A tradition in the Potter household was always opening one gift Christmas Eve, something small she thought would have died out as James grew older but instead he insisted on it, already itching to tear the decorated paper off his reasonably large pile of presents.

Fleamont had been gifted a magical tie, floral decals swaying in an imaginary breeze, Euphemia had opened a small box containing a simple yet clearly expensive emerald necklace, Sirius had tried to mask his joy upon receiving a hand-knitted jumper and James had picked the largest parcel bearing his name and was delighted to uncover a new broom, wood dark and sleek and metal glistening in the firelight.

Bernadette was handed a square present, wrapped up in simple brown paper and string. She stared down at it in confusion.

"An owl brought this in this morning." Euphemia motioned for her to open it. "Had your name on it."

She nodded wordlessly and pulled away the string, wondering who it was from. Her friends had already given her their Christmas gifts, as had Josephine and she doubted Christopher would care so much as to even wrap it up. The paper came away easily, revealing a leather-bound book which lay heavy in her hands.

Upon turning the page the was greeted with a picture of her, aged seven, covered head to toe in flour and laughing at the camera as if very proud of the mess she'd made. With another flip she saw her grandmother and late grandfather in an old black and white muggle picture, their smiles unmoving and paused in the moment. With a jolt, she realised it was the picture album she'd given Henry last Christmas.

"It came with this." An envelope was passed across to her. When she ripped it open and unfolded the letter inside she felt her chest tighten.

_Dear Bernie,_   
_Merry Christmas, hopefully you'll have gotten this on time and we're not terribly late. Your father and I found it at the bottom of one of the boxes we'd taken in a hurry and thought you'd like it. We know things haven't been easy what with all that's happened in the last year and hope that looking at this might help to ease your mind._

_It's not so bad here, we can't tell you much but just know that everything's fine. Your father misses the farm, of course, almost as much as he misses you. Here's to hoping we'll be reunited soon._   
_With love,_   
_Your Mother._

She put down the letter and excused herself from the room, worried gazes following her retreating figure, both items hugged tightly to her chest and she cried.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I may or may not have forgotten to write this chapter because I'm stupid so it's late but nobody read s this anyways so it's all g. So the ball was fabulous, I won Best Dressed and Most Likely to go to Jail but left early because I had dance the next day. I felt like a proper princess though. I was gonna put a pic here but I'm too lazy so just go to my insta: karah_delany (I'm public so it should be no bother) and you'll find them there.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	36. Chapter Ten: New Year, New Problems

**-December 25th 1976-**

Bernadette was not surprised to be awakened Christmas morning by a loud bang which came from the room next door, shortly followed by muffled cries of pain. It was still dark outside however the sun was poking up again from the east, pushing away the black mass. Heavy thumps sounded down the hall, growing closer to her room until the door was flung open and James Potter was shaking her violently.

"It's Christmas!"

They wrestled for the duvet for several seconds before Bernadette was pulled off the mattress and onto the floor, fingers still gripping tightly at the blanket in protest. He managed to drag her out into the hallway where a bleary-eyes Sirius was leaning against the wall, looking down at her with pity. James abandoned them in favour of running up another flight of stairs to rouse his parents.

"Merry Christmas." Sirius offered her a hand which she gratefully took and pulled her to her feet.

"Does he do this every year?" She wrapped the duvet around her shoulders, disliking the way the cold morning air pricked at her skin.

"Are you really surprised?"

She smoothed down his hair which was sticking up in every direction. "Not really, just thought he might've grown out of it by now."

"James?" He shook his head in disbelief. "Never."

They walked side-by-side down the stairs, ignoring James when he pushed past them and exploded through the living room door and set himself upon his pile of presents. Through the large windows, she could see that another layer of snow had fallen overnight and she was sure to be dragged out later that day to play in it despite it being more than knee-height at that point and they were sure to be soaked.

Her pile was reasonably smaller than the other boys' but there was a stack of letters accompanying hers. She wasn't surprised to see they'd come from Josephine, Christopher and her friends and chose to read them later, setting them carefully to the side.

The largest package was sent from her grandmother, if the loopy handwriting was at all telling and she knew before even opening it that it was food. There wasn't a chance her gran would go a Christmas without fattening the kids up, one dark wizard wasn't about to stop her. Christopher had sent her a book about dragons and a pale blue sundress he'd told her his girlfriend had wanted to give to her. She mentally insisted that she would never wear it, even if it was clearly high quality and exactly her style, she couldn't be won over with gifts, no matter how pretty. Connie had given her a pair of socks she'd knitted herself, charmed to keep her feet constantly warm, and she'd pulled them on eagerly, applauding her friend's proficiency at Charms.

The rest of the morning was spent sipping hot chocolate and watching James zoom about outside in the garden on his brand new broom until he was dragged in after almost crashing into the shed. Euphemia had left in quite a hurry, trying to get the Christmas dinner done and Fleamont was fiddling with a Sneakoscope his son had bought him and didn't take much interest in the conversation the three teens were having by the crackling fire.

They were in the midst of planning a New Years party after James' parents told them that they'd be away for a few days, visiting family (something James himself wanted no part in). They were huddled close and speaking in excited whispers at the very prospect.

"Who are we inviting?" Bernadette popped a small pretzel into her mouth. "Remus and Peter obviously but who else? Marlene will wanna come, I won't hear the end of it if she's not invited."

"Prewett twins?" Sirius suggested. "They're a right laugh and they'll bring fireworks if we ask."

The others nodded eagerly. Parties weren't all that great if the Prewett twins in the year above them weren't there.

"How about Alice and her boyfriend, Frank?" Bernadette began to scribble the names down on a piece of paper. "Alice's dad owns the ice cream parlour, I can convince her to bring some sweets. Mary won't be able to come, she's on holidays...anybody else?"

James' face lit up like a Christmas tree, hazel eyes sparkling. "Invite Lily!"

She shot him a look. "I doubt she'd even respond if you invited her over, no offence, but she's bit exactly your biggest fan."

"Which is why I'm not inviting her, you are." He threw a pretzel at her face. "Tell her I won't try anything funny."

"I can't lie to her!" Another salty delicacy was lobbed at her face.

"Please," He pouted like a small child begging for sweets. "This is my chance to show her how hospitable I am!"

Bernadette considered it, she quite liked entertaining the idea of James and Lily dating but she knew Lily didn't like her friends trying to set her up, especially with someone like James who had caused her ex-friend an awful lot of pain, however deserved it was. She was scary when she was angry and Bernadette hated being in the receiving end. But still, James did seem to be making more of an effort to befriend the red-haired prefect rather than the usual pestering and teasing which aggravated her so.

With a sigh, she scribbled down Lily's name. "Fine, but if she ends up hating me, it's on you."

"I graciously accept full responsibility." Hand on his heart and eyes soft, she almost believed him.   
~~

Bernadette wasn't one to celebrate the new year, her family never had when she was younger, they'd exchange sleepily muttered " _Happy New Years_ " and go on about their business. In a way, it felt kind of stupid, just because the final digit of the year changed, didn't mean you started off with a completely clean slate. Resolutions would be forgotten within a month or two and as humans were creatures of habit, they'd go back to the same old problematic behaviour.

With a jolt she realised she was starting to sound like her father. When had her optimism deserted her? Oh well, at least it was an excuse to party with her friends.

Alice and Frank were the first to arrive in a flurry of green flames from the fireplace, a large tub of the promised ice cream in Alice's arms. Soon after Marlene arrived, already a bit tipsy, and put on the radio, swaying rhythmically to one of Bernadette's playlists, despite having little knowledge of muggle music.

Sirius and Bernadette had already devoured half the ice cream by the time the Prewett twins arrived with fireworks and enough alcohol to fell an Erumpent. She honestly didn't know the two boys all that well, despite their notoriety not school they mostly kept to themselves, often seen huddled together in the Gryffindor Common Room, discussing secret matters in hushed tones but they were a laugh and nice enough.

Remus and Peter came together, setting themselves upon the bowls of sweets laid out. Peter was rather quick to launch into a story about a muggle girl he'd 'gotten with' while at home. When James and Sirius refused to believe him, he'd retreated to one of the armchairs, taking a bowl of liquorice wands with him, lower lip slightly jutted out in a pout.

Lily was the last to arrive, her cheeks flushed and hair tangled. Her shoulders had eased upon catching sight of Bernadette and she wrapped her arms around her friend in a sigh.

"You okay, Lils?"

"Just Tuney, don't ask."

Bernadette nodded in understanding. Lily's relationship with her sister seemed to deteriorate more and more every year, the space between them ever expanding. Lily seemed to be the only one upset about it.

"I won't," She said smoothing down her friend's flaming hair. "Sit down and stuff your face, we'll play some shitty party games and later we're heading up the hill and set off some fireworks. I forbid your bad mood...permanently."

She passed the half-eaten tub of ice cream to Lily and shot James a look to tell him not to bother her. The last thing she needed was James Potter persistently asking her out. Marlene was now stumbling slightly, empty bottle hugged to her chest and singing off-key with her own lyrics, the twins leaping up to join her. It was nice to be among friends again.  
~~

The air was bitingly cold as they walked against the wind, trekking through the snow. The more drunken members of their party lagged behind, pulled along by the few who remained sober. The steep hill was proving itself even more challenging in horrible weather and Bernadette was starting to rethink wanting to set off the fireworks.

The snowman the kids had made had disappeared, the top of the empty bottle of Firewhiskey poking out of the snow being the only sign it was ever there in the first place. Marlene bent down to grab it before Bernadette snatching her back again. She had never seen her friend so drunk before and it was starting to get on her nerves.

"How long till midnight?" She shouted over to James who checked his watch. "'Bout two minutes."

She shivered as another gust of wind blew against them, there was something almost creepy about the hill when it was so dark. The night sky was black as pitch, no moon, no stars but snow came down in torrents. Squinting through the flurry, she noticed something odd at the other side of the hill. A light. The frost spread over her throat, almost choking her with fear.

"James!" She tugged nervously on his coat sleeve, refusing to take her eyes off the sight. "I thought you said nobody lived in that house?"

"Nobody does."

A dark shadow passed over the one lit-up window of the manor and she could no longer hear the Prewett twins drunken whooping in the background, her fear drowning out just about everything else. The light turned green, a green she recognised, a green that shook her to her core. It stained the snow. Hands clasped themselves on her shoulders and a scream was ripped from her frozen lungs.

"Hey, hey." Sirius was looking down at her with concern. "It's just me."

Now that she had been broken from her trance she glanced around. Nobody else seemed to have seen what she did. On the contrary, they were laughing, hugging, dancing and in some cases, kissing. The fireworks had been set off, filling the sky with brilliant displays of reds and oranges. It was 1977 and it couldn't have possibly been kicked off in a worse way.

She looked back at the house but it was completely dark. It was like nobody had been there at all. Surely she couldn't have imagined it?

"You okay?"

Her head snapped back to him again and she nodded shakily. "Fine, just thought I saw something...Happy New Year."  
~~

For the first time in hours, the house was quiet, deadly silent. The fire had long since burnt itself out and everyone had passed out on the couches, floor and window seats, Bernadette had tried to sleep like the others but it seemed almost impossible to get rid of the green light in her head, replaying over and over again on a loop every time she closed her eyes.

She felt as if she were going mad. Why on earth would Death Eaters be in some random old house in the middle of the countryside? Or more importantly, who had they killed? That green light was undeniably the Killing Curse. She'd once overheard her mother tearfully recounting stories of how it had changed her life and in later years seen it actually performed by William. It wasn't like he'd killed an actual person, it was just a spider she'd brought home from the forest to show off but it was the sheer fact that he even knew how to cast an Unforgivable Curse terrified her and she'd never quite forgotten it.

A chill ran down her spine as she glanced out the window, worried she'd see the shadow slinking up the path to the door.  Should she tell someone? Not her friends, they'd worry for sure but there was also the chance that the Potters were in danger themselves. What about Dumbledore? Would he even believe her tale? It was certainly outrageous and she had no proof. Still, what else could she do? If she were lucky, he'd help her even if he hadn't done so in the past.

Somehow, her life just never seemed to stay peaceful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Late again, I know, I'm an arse but I'm a busy woman. Ariana's new album is such a bop. Got about five projects due and a short story competition I gotta enter not to mention dance which I am now doing another class of. Also started choreographing a solo to Gooey by Glass Animals but as to why I chose to do this now when I'm busy with other shit I don't know.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	37. Chapter Eleven: Torturous

**-January 1977-**

Returning to Hogwarts helped to ease Bernadette's paranoia slightly. She hadn't told either James or Sirius about what she'd seen New Years Eve in the fear of upsetting them. Seeing Connie again was yet another relief. A part of her had been worried that she'd close back in on herself again without her friends at the school over break but she didn't seem to have changed since the last time Bernadette saw her besides now sporting a pair of large pearl earrings.

"Was your Christmas horrible without me?" She'd probed on their way to class, most certainly not looking forward to double potions first thing.

"I actually had a spectacular time." Connie said, lips tugging up in a grin. "It was lovely and peaceful without you screeching in my ear every five seconds."

Bernadette slowed her footsteps as they neared the dungeons. "Oh shut up, I know you missed me...I missed you."

"To some degree, yes, I may have missed you. Nobody else wanted to play Exploding Snap with me." She nudged Bernadette's arm in teasing.

"Tragic."

Lily sidled up next to them, her shoulders tensed and her gaze frantic, darting from the stairwell to the portraits to the stone floor in but a second. Bernadette hadn't seen the red-haired prefect since the New Years party a few days prior and neither had she written her, a bit preoccupied as to what to do about what she'd witnessed that night.

"You okay?" She peered at her friend in concern. "Petunia still getting you down?"

"What?" Lily's brow was furrowed as if she couldn't quite recall who that was. "Oh, Tuney? No, I'm fine, she's fine."

They didn't press any further, Lily's stubbornness was something to be marvelled at and they weren't in the mood to push it first thing on a Monday morning so their walk continued in not-so-comfortable silence. The potions room was cold and dark and smelled odd but the three girls shed their heavy robes as once the cauldrons were lit it would become stiflingly hot. Eyeballs in jars watched as they sat down at their usual table towards the back of the classroom and made idle chatter about nothing in particular.

Other students began to filter in in groups of twos or threes, sitting at their respective tables and waited for Professor Slughorn to amble in (late as he usually was after holidays, unused to early mornings). For once, James arrived early, the other boys close behind him but he froze dead in his tracks as soon as he saw Lily and his face flushed a deep shade of crimson, still visible in the dim lighting. Remus pushed him forwards from behind with an eye roll but he never took his gaze off Lily who was pretending not to have seen him, inspecting her fingernails with too much interest.

The tension between the pair continued throughout the rest of the lesson, causing great curiosity to blossom amongst their friends. When the second the bell had signalled the end of class, Lily had been the first one on her feet, practically throwing her sample of Wit-Sharpening Potion at Professor Slughorn and bolted out the door.

Lily did not show up to any more classes for the rest of the day. Bernadette considered interrogating James as to what it was he'd done to her but she wasn't all that concerned. The worry of meeting with the Headmaster to explain what she'd seen was still running rampant through her mind and she barely even noticed Lily's absence. She wasn't even quite sure how to arrange a meeting with Dumbledore, in the past she'd been requested to visit or assaulted the stone gargoyle outside his office and she was sure that was the right approach.

Finally, she settled on writing a letter in her free class before lunch, huddled in the back corner of the library and ignoring Madam Pince's suspicious glare. She read over her words thrice and underlined everything she wanted to emphasise as important before signing her name and sprinting up to the Owlery.

Her stomach was left in knots for the rest of the day and she could barely manage half a sandwich and a few sips of tea at lunch before throwing them up in the toilet before Defence Against the Dark Arts. In a way, she supposed she could thank Lily and James' odd behaviour as it distracted their friends from her own and she didn't need to conceal her nerves quite so much.

The same tawny owl she'd sent off with her message found her again in the free class she was spending by the Black Lake, trying to write the start of her essay on Lethifolds, a small slip of paper tied to its left leg. Hastily abandoning the blank piece of parchment she'd been staring at for ten minutes, she untied the paper and scanned it with anxious eyes.

_Miss Sommers,_   
_If this information you have is as urgent as you suggest, see me in my office at seven tonight. Pepper Imps would be greatly appreciated._

She breathed a sigh of relief and sank back against the wooden bark of the tree, tension dropping from her shoulders. Well that was one hurdle down. Now she just had to figure out how she was actually going to relay the events to the Headmaster without either bursting into tears or severely losing her temper. And finish her essay she supposed.   
~~

Bernadette wiped her sweaty palms against her robes and tried to calm her frantic heart, humming quietly while she contemplated knocking on the ornate wooden door. Of all the times for her courage to fail her. Finally, she shook her head and drew herself up as tall as she could before rapping her knuckles against the wood.

"Come in."

Dumbledore was sat behind his desk, half-moon spectacles perched on his nose, much like he was the last time she'd been in his office but the bags under his eyes and the wrinkle in his deep emerald robes suggested that the threat of the Dark Lord had been taking a toll on him. Still, he smiled at her and gestured for her to take the seat opposite him.

Glancing at the perch where Dumbledore's phoenix rested, she lowered herself into the seat and politely declined his offer of a lemon sherbet, knowing well that if she even tried she would surely vomit from her nerves.

"Thanks for agreeing to see me, sir." Her voice was smaller than she'd meant and she felt as if she was withering under the judgemental stares of the portraits behind Dumbledore. "I wasn't sure who else to come to."

"Take your time, my dear." He said. "I'm in no rush."

She sent another furtive glance towards the portrait of one particularly uptight looking old man, was she going mad or did he have Sirius' eyes? No, now was not the time to let her mind wander. 

"I-um-don't know if you know this but I spent the holidays with James and Sirius." Oh god, her heart was beating so fast  from the memory that she was sure it would burst out of her chest. "And on New Years, we invited over some other friends and decided to light off some fireworks on top of the hill."

Her voice died and she found it impossible to even look at the Headmaster, his robes reminding her far too much of the light which stained the snow like poison. A small silver device on the corner of his desk ticked loudly with every beat of her heart. She felt as if she were about to be sick.

"And...I...saw something."

At that, he leaned forwards in his seat, smile long gone, his eyes grim and almost cold. "What did you see?"

"It sounds stupid but," She shook her head, trying to stop the scene from replaying in her head on loop. "There was this green light that came from this abandoned house on the other side of the hill. I know what it was...William used it once, after he'd flown into one of his tempers, on a spider I'd brought home from the forest. I know it was the Killing Curse and...I don't know what to do."

When she peered up at him, she was surprised to see him pale and deadly silent. The ticking of the device seemed to grow faster and it became all she could focus on while she waited for him to answer. The portraits had begun whispering amongst themselves and the man with Sirius' stormy eyes glared down at her with such fury she was worried she might burst into flames.

"Thank you." He spoke eventually, hands gripping the arms of his chair tightly so that his knuckles turned sheet white. "For telling me, Miss Sommers, I fear you are correct. Did anyone else see what happened?"

She shook her head. "No. I don't think so, they were all looking at the fireworks."

He nodded solemnly. "You are young, Miss Sommers, I'm very sorry to hear you had to witness that."

Bernadette smiled shakily but it never reached her eyes. "It's fine, there are others who've seen even worse. Times are dark."

"Indeed they are."

She spotted that day's Daily Prophet cast aside on his desk, the Dark Mark peering at her, jumping off the page and freezing her blood. Would she be next? Just another name on a list? Before, she'd wanted to fight more than anything, she knew she could make a difference, but she was starting to have her doubts. She didn't want to die.

"Will the Potters have to go into hiding, Professor."

"I do not think so. Even if I suggested, they wouldn't, Euphemia and Fleamont are a stubborn pair. Besides, this event seems random, Death Eaters probably sought out an empty house for a singular meeting, it is highly unlikely they will return."

"And..." her breath caught in her throat and she had to try very hard to swallow the sob building up in her throat. "Will I be targeted?"

Of course, she knew that she already was. If what Snape said was true, Mulciber was out for her blood yet the Dark Lord himself had expressed interest in her loyalty thanks to William. But if they knew what she'd witnessed, she might as well be dead.

"I do not know."

Dead.   
~~

"Etta?" Lily sat down across from her at breakfast the next day, her hair unbrushed and eye bags prominent. Clearly she had not slept last night, something her and Bernadette had in common.

"Everything okay, Lils?"

"Has Potter...mentioned anything about me?"

The brunette shot her a look of disbelief, dropping her fork. "You know well he talks about you all the time, he doesn't exactly make his giant festering crush much of a secret."

Lily sighed. "No...like recently. Like since the party?"

Bernadette frowned. "Why, what happened at the party?"

"Nothing!"

The sudden raise in volume earned them some curious stares from the few people seated throughout the hall but they quickly dismissed it and went back to their meals, too tired to even gossip.

"Oooh." A smile worked its way onto her chapped lips. "Somethinghappened. You  _liiike_  him."

"Shut up!" Lily howled, blush spreading all the way down her neck, and she threw a scone at Bernadette's head. "Nothing happened, I was just curious."

The Hufflepuff shook her head and began to sing. "James and Lily sitting in a tree, K-I-S-" before she could even get to the second 's', Lily had thrown herself across the table and slapped her hand over Bernadette's mouth.

"I swear to god I will stab you with your own fork if you don't shut the fuck up right now."

Mary had chosen the perfect time to join them. "Nice one, Lils, but I doubt anything will get our Etta to actually shut up."

"I would deny it," She spoke once Lily's hand had been removed. "But unfortunately I am unable to keep my mouth shut."

As they laughed, she found that she was almost able to ignore the cold hand of fear that was grasped around her throat and the thoughts of what awaited her once she was out of school. There was a target on her back, bright red with flashing lights just screaming for somebody to hit her. There was no way for her to escape this war, not even Dumbledore could protect her.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is so bad I'm so sorry. Recently I rewatched all the LOTR movies and Hobbit trilogy none of which I've seen since I was like thirteen and I don't think baby me appreciated how fucking cool they are like holy shit now I wanna go reread all the books (which I also haven't touched in many years) even though I've got so much shit to do.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	38. Chapter Twelve: Purveyors of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers

**-January 1977-**

Lily and James' weirdness continued as January was coming to a close. Despite her friends' relentless probing, Lily wouldn't let up what exactly had happened between them, and had taken to storming off in a huff if his name was even mentioned.

Bernadette's consistently bad mood had also been a running theme that month but it was thankfully somewhat overshadowed by the Lily and James drama so she didn't have to deal with actually trying to sort out her emotions. She kept a distance between her and Sirius however, she knew he'd pick up on her pent-up frustration, so she hadn't turned up to the Astronomy Tower for a smoke all month.

Someone who did pick up on behaviour, however, was Josephine. She knew her sister well, well enough to know that something was definitely wrong but she also knew that Bernadette would not come to her about it willingly. It also didn't help that she herself was not exactly the best about expressing her feelings. Growing up they'd taken it upon themselves to be as unproblematic as possible, their parents were dealing with enough just with William and Henry, so if they had a problem they generally ignored it until it went away or became so catastrophic they had no choice but to handle it.

Josephine didn't want to push Bernadette, she didn't even really want to talk about it, so she helped in the only way she knew how, simply being there.

"Do you wanna go to the library after classes?" She'd asked quietly during breakfast, taking note that Bernadette had hardly touched her eggs. "Or we could mess around on the Quidditch pitch?"

"Can't." The Hufflepuff poked her food around sourly. "I've got detention."

"What for?"

"Fell asleep in Muggle Studies yesterday." Her bloodshot eyes darted up as the owls descended upon the hall, dropping letters and parcels, and her fork fell from her grasp with a clatter.

"Have you not been sleeping?" Josephine's voice was quiet as she too watched the owls. "Nightmares?"

Bernadette tensed as an owl swooped over her head. "Sometimes."

There was a pause and the younger girl felt her breath catch in her throat, losing her appetite. "Me too."

The two girls flinched as a letter fell in front of Bernadette and fear captured their lungs. The neat handwriting was familiar, envelope clearly expensive, it was no question as to who it was from. With one deft swish of her wand, it had burst into flames and the words turned to ash in her lap. They exchanged a look of pure terror.

"Was that from..."

"Yeah."

"He hasn't stopped writing you?"

"No, there's one every week." With shaky fingers she brushed the ashes from her skirt so that the fell to the floor. "He never has been one to give up easily."

Josephine tilted her head back and blinked back the tears which welled in her eyes. "Have you talked to Dumbledore about it?"

She shook her head, knotted brown hair swinging as she did so. "No, it's not like he can stop them. I just don't bother reading them, I know what they'll say and I...I can't bring myself to read them."

They fell into silence, the air thick and heavy around them, the chatter of the surrounding students deafening, the nervous whispers over the contents of that morning's Daily Prophet like poison. Bernadette took up her sister's clammy hand in her own from across the table and gave it a weak squeeze.

"But hey, we've gotten through worse, haven't we? And it's not like he can get us while we're here, we're safe." Her words were not as comforting as she'd hoped they'd be.

"But what about when you graduate?" It was nothing more than a murmur but it felt like a punch to the gut. "What will you do?"

She took in a sharp breath but steely resolve fell over her features. "I'll fight."

"Aren't you scared?"

"Always but that's not necessarily a bad thing, take your fear, Joey, and shove it right up You-Know-Who's arse." She managed a small smile. "Even if can't, I'll be there to protect you."

"You sure?"

"I'm your big sister, it's my job."  
~~

**-August 1966-**

_Bernadette couldn't help but feel her excitement growing as September neared. In her opinion, September was the best month as it marked the start of her freedom each year after a summer of hiding in her bedroom with her siblings, waiting with bated breath for the screaming to stop._

_Another good thing about that specific August was that the local pub was under renovations so those days William rarely flew into his drunken rages or came home bloody and bruised. For once, she was actually getting a normal amount of sleep for a six year old._

_Her and Christopher spent their days running around their father's fields or exploring the forest so they didn't need to put up with the moping fifteen year old who was holed up in his room except for mealtimes which were painfully awkward and tense._

_That day, however, they played inside with their four year old sister, Josephine, taking turns smearing their mother's makeup on her chubby cheeks. They were loud and messy, unworried for any consequences, William was out of the house for the day, dragged to Diagon Alley by their mother to buy school supplies for the upcoming year._

_Their grandmother watched them silently from her armchair, gazing down at them fondly while she bounced their two year old brother on her knee. The radio was on, perched atop the mantle, a Beatles song from their new album drifting through the air and mixing with the children's giggles. It was a rare moment of bliss in their usually tense summers so they made the most of it, they only had so many hours._

_Their heads snapped towards the fireplace in alarm as green flames exploded up and two sooty figures were shot onto the carpet. The kids scampered back a few feet, smiles dying on their lips. They were home earlier than expected, they usually weren't back for at least another two hours. Bertha Sommers heaved a sigh and fell down into the couch. Her makeup was smudged and her robes torn, dark ash set deep into her pores. The teenage boy by her side, looking equally as ruffled, didn't waste any time standing around, grabbing the bags filled with his new books and robes and leaving the room, his heavy footsteps echoing up the stairs after him._

_The children tried their best to ignore the worried whispers exchanged between the two older women on the couch, their brows creased and fabric bunched up in their fists. The clock above the door ticked rhythmically for the few seconds of silence as the song on the radio switched over and eventually, Bernadette gathered the courage to excuse herself and make the trek to William's room, knowing well what she had to do._

_It was the furthest door down the hall, wood plain and dark unlike the other children's bedroom doors which were plastered with colourful pictures and signs but there was a small dent in the wall next to it from the amount of times he'd slammed it open. She stood in front of it, little fist raised and ready to knock, her heart pounding in her ears. She didn't want him to yell at her, it was scary, but she could usually calm him down enough so that they could push through dinner without another row and that was worth her fear. It was her job._

~~

February came with the slight retreat of January's frost and the amount of layers Bernadette insisted on encasing herself in lessened. There had been no further information on what exactly had happened between James and Lily and so their friends became quickly uninterested and came to accept that they were simply two awkward teenagers who couldn't express their own emotions.

Due to the small increase in temperature, Bernadette left the warmth of the castle with little complaint the first Thursday of the month during her free class before lunch with Remus Lupin. The pair were bundled up in scarves, only their eyes visible over the layers of wool, knees hugged to their chests while their backs were pressed against the rough bark of the tree by the lake.

They didn't talk much, when they hung out together, they rarely did, appreciating the comfortable silence only good friends could hold onto. Neither had been the most upbeat recently, for their own different reasons, and needed a break from the trouble that seemed to trail after their friends. They shared a large bar of chocolate Remus' mum had sent in the post as she always did before every full moon.

"Did you do that reading for Potions?" Bernadette pulled her knees tighter to her chest and shivered as a sudden gust of wind rushed over the lake and met them head-on.

Remus sighed, shoulders sagging. "No, completely forgot."

"That's unlike you," she side-eyed him in concern. "You okay?"

He mumbled something about being perfectly fine and not understanding why everyone was so concerned and something even more quietly about how like Sirius she was.

The brunette shrugged but kept a watchful eye on him. "Okay then, I just hope you're putting my baby to work."

"What?"

"Herby!"

"I am and I can't thank-"

She shot him a glare. "If I hear you thank me one more time about that I will actually rip out your throat with my teeth. I was glad to do it."

He nodded slowly before a fit of violent coughing overtook his body. Instinctively, Bernadette put a hand on his back and pushed him forwards, watching in horror as red stained the grass.

"We need to get you to the Hospital Wing." She rubbed his back in circular motions until the coughing came to a stop. "I don't wanna hear any arguments either, come on."  
~~

They hadn't been waiting long before the rest of the boys burst into the Hospital Wing, robes disheveled and shoes slapping against the ground. Madam Pomfrey had spared them only a withering look, knowing well she would be unsuccessful in removing them from the room or getting them to quieten down.

"What happened?" James' long legs had brought him to the bed first. "You okay, Moony?"

"I'm fine." Remus leaned back further into the pillows as if he wanted them to swallow him.

"He's not." Bernadette pursed her lips. "We were by the lake when he started coughing up blood, I brought him here straight away."

Sirius and Peter skidded up next to them, Peter's face bright red, the pockets of his robes bulging with what she assumed was food.

"Full moon's tomorrow." Sirius whispered through pants. "That's probably why. Not to mention he's been stressed lately."

Bernadette relinquished her seat so Peter could sit down. "Why's that?"

James kicked the foot of the bed, wincing at the pain that shot through his foot. "Snivellus said something to him the other day, been freaked out ever since and won't tell us what the little weasel said."

"Slimy git." She made a face. "I'd like nothing more than to go punch his abnormally large nose in."

"Please don't." Remus shook his head. "It was nothing."

"Shut up and drink your water." She pushed the cup into his hands. "Lots of fluids will help a bit. Nothing my fat arse."

Sirius wrapped an arm over her shoulders while James began pacing the few meters between Remus' bed and the one next to it, which was luckily unoccupied. In fact, they were the only ones in the Hospital Wing besides Madam Pomfrey who was watching them warily from her office.

"He knows something." James tugged at his hair in frustration. "Stupid nosy prick!"

"But he won't try anything, will he?" She said, worry flooding her voice. "He's not  _that_  horrible...is he?"

"Wouldn't put it past him." Sirius snarled.

She looked at Remus, his eyes squeezed shut, sheets balled up in his fists, skin pale and clammy. It hurt to see him in so much pain. And to think Snape was a catalyst in it? She felt a rush of loathing for the boy. If he was trying to put Remus' secret, she supposed she'd have to stop him.

"Then let me help." Their heads all snapped towards her. "While you are all out dealing with Remus' furry little problem I can wait in the castle under the cloak and keep an eye out for any wandering students who might pose an issue."

"Absolutely not." Sirius was quick to shoot her down. "We're not taking that risk, no way in hell."

To her surprise, Peter was the one to come to her defence. "But she has a point."

"Thank you!"

"We can give her the map and she can keep an eye on Snape, make sure he doesn't come anywhere near us." He looked nervous under all the stares which were now fixed on him. "It could really help..."

She gave him a grateful smile while James started to nod, his pacing coming to a sharp stop. "That could work."

"No!" Sirius seemed adamant that Bernadette had nothing to do with their monthly excursions, shaking his head and sending his shaggy hair wildly across his shoulders.

"Why not?" She genuinely didn't understand what problem Sirius seemed to have with her helping out a bit, making their job just that much easier. "Do you not think I'm capable enough?"

"That's not it-"

"Perfect then." She cut over him with a sickly sweet tone. "I'll see you lot tomorrow night."

Before he could pose any more argument, she'd picked up her bag and walked briskly from the room, sending a wave over her shoulder. She didn't care if Sirius didn't want her there, the others did and she knew she could be useful. So what if he got a little upset?   
~~

Sirius was giving her the cold shoulder ever since what had happened in the Hospital Wing, making a point of ignoring her when she asked him to pass the potatoes during dinner and going bright red while trying to hold back his laughter after she made a particularly stupid joke about chocolate frogs. She took little notice of it, knowing well that her ignorance would frustrate him more than anything.

She pondered his odd actions Friday night, huddled under James' Invisibility Cloak, watching the dots move about on the Marauders' Map. Thankfully, Snape's dot had not moved from the Slytherin boys' dorm all night so she didn't have much to worry about. She had an awful lot of time on her hands and she'd rather distract herself with teenage drama than her deeper concerns about the war. Deep late night thinking rarely ended well.

She supposed Sirius had always been kind of odd if she even mentioned putting herself in danger. She recalled how angry he'd been with her after Snape hexed her and she tried to act like everything was okay. She'd never really thought of him as the kind of friend to be so mothering but then again she hadn't expected him to be so smitten with some anonymous girl he mentioned every now and then. He was just full of surprises.

She sighed so loudly that the passing Bloody Baron stopped dead in his tracks and looked around suspiciously. Perhaps he wasn't overreacting, he was just concerned about his friend. She probably owed him an apology for not being more considerate of his feelings but that didn't mean she'd stop. If there was even a  _chance_  she was helping Remus, she was glad to do it.  
~~

At dawn she watched Madam Pomfrey's dot move across the grounds and disappear under the Whomping Willow coming back out after a half hour with another dot close behind her, Remus' name scrawled out in neat writing. She smiled tiredly to herself, the thing had gone without a hitch and the only problem she'd faced was two fourth years sneaking around and keeping her eyes open.

James and Peter's dots trailed back from the forest, passing Hagrid's Hut. Her eyes darted over the surrounding area but there was no sign of Sirius' name. Her heart leaped, Where was he? Was he okay? Often the boys came back after a full moon with scratches and bruises but she didn't think any had been seriously injured before.

She scanned the rest of the map in panic, shoulders sagging when she finally spotted his dot moving down the corridor a few feet away from her. Who was the worrywart now? She suddenly felt a bit silly. He was fine. But he was coming right towards her. She was sent into another panic while she contemplated what to do, heart feeling like a bomb inside her chest. Should she make herself known? Try and apologise now?

Before she could settle on something she  felt the cloak being pulled from her head. She grabbed for it, trying to keep herself hidden, wand rolling away from her as it fell from her grasp, the shining tip snuffed out. To her surprise, it was a large black dog that was trying to blow her cover, cloak bunched up in its mouth.

"Give that back!" She whispered furiously. "It's not mine, buddy!"

There was an odd sniffing noise. Was the dog...laughing at her?

"Stop that you..." Realisation fell over her in a sudden wave and her grip on the cloak grew slack. "Sirius?"

The dog dropped the cloak and stood up on its hind legs, dark fur shooting back into its skin and legs growing longer. And then familiar stormy gray eyes stared down at her, cheeky grin spreading the length of his lips. She'd never seen him look so proud of himself.

"That was pretty fucking cool."

He offered her a hand and pulled her up to her feet. "I know, right?"

"Doesn't stop you from being a smug arsehole though." She picked up the map and her wand from where it had rolled to a stop and poked him with it. "How was tonight? Why weren't you with James and Peter?"

He didn't look at her and started walking down the hall, hands stuffed in his pockets. "It was fine, now get under the cloak before we get caught and wild rumours spread throughout the school about-"

"Stop right there," she interrupted, throwing the Invisibility Cloak over their heads and huddling close to him, taking note of how he'd dodged her question. "I get your point."

It wasn't too hard to travel with them both under the cloak but they had to shuffle slowly and press together to keep the same pace. Bernadette hugged the map to her chest and gave it a quick glance, eyes sweeping over their general area as they ventured further down the hall, portraits snoring.

"Why are we bothering with the cloak?" She whispered. "There's nobody around, we're perfectly safe."

"Precautions." He muttered back.

She tilted her head to the side and trained her eyes on his face, jaw set as he felt her stare. His eyelids were heavy, cheeks gaunt and hollow, pale under the minimal light of the rising sun. He shivered. "Stop staring at me, you creep, you look possessed."

"You look tired." She nudged his arm, pulling her eyes away. "Want me to nick a sleeping potion from Slughorn's office?"

He shook his head. "It's fine, I was just worried."

She nodded in understanding. "Yeah, I worry about Remus too, honestly for someone so smart he can be really stupid sometimes. You know, sometimes he asks me if I still wanna be friends with him!"

Sirius laughed, but not for the reason she thought he did. "You can be pretty stupid yourself, Nettle."

Her head snapped towards him, hand over her heart, faking offence. "You're one to talk! Who's the one who put pumpkin juice into their cereal instead of milk and afraid of looking stupid, ate the whole bowl?"

"That was perfectly intentional!"

They dissolved into laughter, breaking the tension around them, only howling louder when Bernadette let out an undignified snort. If she had told herself a few years previously that this immature, often reckless, sometimes cruel, bad boy wannabe would be her best friend she surely would have laughed as firstly, there was no way Lily would let her near him and secondly they had so little in common it was unlikely they could carry a conversation. How wrong she was.

"But seriously," her laughter died. "Anything you need, I'm here for you."

"Really?"

"Fuck yeah, is that even a question?"  
~~

The following day, the group of four huddled around Remus' bed in the Hospital Wing, curtains concealing them from the watchful eye of Madam Pomfrey. Remus looked to be in better form, even if pale and sporting a sprained wrist, digging into the sweets his friends had smuggled in under their jumpers. They were all relatively tired, as would be expected from staying up all night to help their lycanthrope friend but glad that it was Saturday and they had no intention of studying or anything of the sort.

The Marauder's map lay open at the foot of the bed, little dots moving freely around the castle but most cooped up in common rooms or eating a late breakfast in the Great Hall. That morning, there had been no letter from William, something that eased Bernadette's mind and Daniel finally seemed to admit defeat in trying to reconnect with her, barely even glancing her way when she knocked over his mug after trying to throw a scone at Mary. All in all, she was the most happy she'd been in months.

"You know," she spoke through a mouthful of sticky fudge. "You lot should let me into your whole 'Marauders' thingamajig, I feel I'd be a  very helpful addition."

"How so?" James smirked at her.

"Well this map of yours could use a bit of Bernadette magic, I've been thinking over it and I think we should have it insult people."

Peter snorted, sweet wrappers falling from his lap and onto the floor. "Like a Howler?"

She shook her head. "No! More refined than that. Like, for example...let's say Snape gets his greasy paws on this wonderful piece of art and tries to break into it, we can have little insults pop up on the parchment. We can do custom ones for people like Filch or even McGonagall!"

They stared at her and for a split second she was worried they'd laugh right in her face and call her ideas stupid, before Sirius reached over and clapped her on the shoulder, grinning from ear to ear like a madman. "You are an absolute fucking genius, welcome to the Marauders!"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ya, I know, whoops. Was gonna finish this chapter Monday morning while I took the train up to Dublin for a week for work experience but then I said fuck it because nobody reads this piece of crap. Also went to the trial for the murder in Tipperary in the CCJ and it was so cool, honestly the Courts Service was such a good experience. And how basic is it that an OFC in a Marauders fic ends up joining the boys? Very much so but I think Bernie's well earned her place at this point.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	39. Chapter Thirteen: Blood is Thicker than Water

**-February 1977-**

To say that Bernadette was proud of her nickname etched onto the piece of parchment was a serious understatement. It didn't take them long to charm the map to insult people, in fact what took far longer was coming up with the expansive list of highly offensive phrases. It wasn't exactly a very important contribution but it was very funny and she was now immortalised as  _Ms Nettle_ , a Purveyor of Aids to Magical Mischief-Makers and an honorary Marauder. Something about the exclusivity of it made her giddy.

However, her happiness was doomed to last no longer than a week when her half-brother's face snarled up at her from the front page of the Daily Prophet. His hair had grown out, no longer neat and slicked back as it was in his teens and his eyes had this wild ferocious look in them, one she usually only saw when he was drunk. His teeth were bared like a wild animal's and his skin chalky. She wanted to get sick. She did just so, abandoning her scrambled eggs and making a break for the nearest toilet, newspaper in one hand, the other clamped over her mouth.

She ignored the cries of her friends to come back, dodged Remus' grab for her and locked herself in the one toilet she doubted anyone would follow her into. Bile burned her throat as she heaved into the toilet, her head swimming, knees weak. Her breathing grew more rapid, more panicked as she caught sight of his sneering face again and collapsed against the stall door, hugging her knees to her chest, head rolling from shoulder to shoulder as she muttered incomprehensibly to herself.

She knew her brother was a bad person, prejudiced, extremist, violent, she'd seen him kill before, but she never thought he would actually be able to kill people. Living, breathing people with lives, jobs, people they loved. Innocent people. A family. Five of them. One no older than three. Lives cut short. Because of her brother.

Her numb hands hit the ground weakly as sobs wracked her body. Her brother was a murderer, and for no reason other than the fact that he believed those without magic were less than him. She'd heard his views on muggles, muggle-borns, squibs and the like plenty of times but she never could have imagined him going through with his threats, killing people like their own late brother, like her father.

Moaning Myrtle peered at her from the toilet with magnified, silvery eyes, curious, for once withholding any insults or sudden proclamations about how ugly she was. She just watched, quiet for once, reading over the article in the Daily Prophet.

**_FIVE MUGGLES DEAD_ **   
_Yesterday evening, the bodies of a muggle family living in Birmingham were found by muggle authorities with seemingly no external injuries. Aurors who later visited the scene are sure it was the work of Death Eaters, followers of the 'Dark Lord'. The culprits are believed to be Regina Selwyn and William Rowle, both of whom have publicly expressed their involvement with You-Know-Who and match the descriptions of two individuals seen leaving the premises by several neighbours. Aurors have yet to take in and question Selwyn and Rowle._   
_Read more on page 11..._

Her blood felt like ice in her veins. She had never felt quite so terrified in her life yet her fear also seemed to fuel her rage. Previously, it had dwindled after what she'd witnessed on New Years but then, there it was, burning more fiercely and strong than ever before. He deserved to burn.

With a shriek of anger, Bernadette ripped the page with her brother's scowling face out of the newspaper and crumpled it up furiously, hurling it at the wall as if it were William himself. But it bounced effortlessly off the stone and rolled to a stop at her feet. She nudged it away with the toe of her shoe as if it might attack her and let out a shaky sigh, trying to calm herself down.

People would be looking for her, worried. She hadn't meant to make such a scene, fleeing the Great Hall but when an entire school eats in one room at allocated times, it's rather difficult not to take notice of a student sprinting down the aisles, one hand clamped over her mouth and the other grasping a newspaper. They'd find her sooner or later, especially if the boys had the map on hand. She couldn't let them know how wrecked she was.

So, with the aid of the wall, she lifted herself to her feet and staggered towards the sinks, ignoring Moaning Myrtle who floated along beside her, curiously. The mirrors were filthy but she could see jus enough of her face to see it was red and blotchy, betraying her emotions. She splashed water on her face and tried to cool down her hot cheeks by pressing the backs of her palms against the skin. It wasn't working very well and she cursed the fact that she didn't know any Charms to fix an ugly mug.

As she stared at her own, tired eyes, she recalled Snape's words to her from last year. She really did have to make a choice, one that would decide how the rest of her life played out. Join her brother and You-Know-Who with guaranteed protection or fight for what she believed in with her friends but risk everything? Or alternatively, she could always join her parents, go into hiding.

Raking shaky fingers through her knotted hair, she came to a resolve. It was really a no-brainer.  
~~

At first, Josephine hadn't known why on earth her sister had fled the Great Hall in such a panic. Bernadette often pulled stunts, even more regularly in the past two years, thanks to the influence of four troublemaking Gryffindors she'd befriended but that time she was sure this wasn't a prank or funny messing. She knew her sister well, something was very wrong.

A glance to her right where the Daily Prophet lay next to one of her friends, answered all her questions. Her blood ran cold and she wanted to scream, cry and run away all at the same time but she was paralysed. How she hated those eyes. Cold and cruel but fiery hot when he flew into one of his rages.

Growing up, she'd been fairly lucky, William didn't pay much attention to her. She had always been quiet, unlike her elder siblings yet also had their protection when things went sideways. But on the rare occasion he did take notice of her...to that day she still had nightmares about it, the creaking of her bedroom door, how her hands trembled under the sheets, eyes squeezed shut as she tried to fake slumber, her mother's terrified whisper to try and get him to calm down, the dull thud of fist meeting cheek and a cry of pain. Then, smaller footsteps down the hall and soothing whispers.

"You okay?"

She flinched at the hand that rested itself on her shoulder but shook it off and smiled tautly up at her best friend. "Fine, just tired."  
~~

Bernadette had spent the rest of the day in the Hospital Wing, under strict instructions from Lily, until after hours of convincing Madam Pomfrey that it was just a tummy ache, she was released so she could sleep in her own bed in the dormitory. By the time she stumbled in the door, everyone else was fast asleep, Connie buried under mountains of blankets, Jasmine half hanging off her bed and Jane snoring loudly enough to rouse the whole school. She almost laughed at the sight but her heart still felt as if it were made of lead and her head felt fuzzy, like a radio stuck between two channels.

She dressed in far-too-big joggers she'd stolen from Christopher years ago, a shirt from a summer camp she'd done when she was thirteen that miraculously still fit her and her thickest and woolliest pair of socks she owned as fast as she could, desperate for some rest. She had never felt so physically and mentally drained in her life, it was as if a Dementor had sucked her soul from her and left her an empty husk.

Yet despite how she longed for it, Bernadette could not, for the life of her, actually sleep. She tossed and turned, throwing off and then pulling on again sheets, trying to hum an old Beatles' song that used to put her to sleep, trying to stop the fears she'd managed to bury deep within her mind from swallowing her in the silence.

After what felt like decades of trying to sleep, she sat up with an annoyed huff and threw her legs over the edge of the bed. She fished a packet of cigarettes from under her pillow and tiptoed from the room as quietly as she could. She knew the route by heart at that point, not even having to think about where her legs carried her as she knew they'd lead her all the way up to the Astronomy Tower.

She was not surprised to see one Sirius Black already there, a cigarette held loosely between his lips, facing the door rather than the glimmering moon as if he'd been expecting her. But he looked far from relaxed, back as stiff as a board, hands fumbling with his wand, eyes widening like a deer caught in the headlights as she swung the door open. His shoulders fell slightly and he managed a small smile.

"Long time, no see, stranger."

She rolled her eyes and crossed the room in a few long strides, plopping herself down unceremoniously next to him. "I saw you yesterday, at the Quidditch match and then later on when we snuck into the Ravenclaw's after party."

"I meant up here." He nodded his head around the room. "Our place."

She flashed a sly smile, already feeling his impeccable ability to calm her down working wonderfully. "I didn't know we had ownership of the Astronomy Tower? It's hardly legal."

He shoved her roughly and she was quick in returning the favour, earning a chuckle from him. But of course, their lighthearted joking spiralled into a deeper discussion, as it often did, breaking the serenity that she was finally feeling after a whole day of gut-wrenching nerves and boiling rage ripping her apart at the seams.

"What happened to you this morning?" He'd barely whispered it but it was enough to stop her heart. "I've never seen you look so..."

"Horrible?"

"Afraid."

She took a shaky drag from her cigarette and tucked her woollen feet underneath her to keep them warm. She supposed there was no point in trying to hide it. She trusted Sirius, he was one of her best friends and over the course of the almost two years she'd known him, she'd come to care for him as a brother. Anyways, he'd know if she was lying.

"Did you read the Daily Prophet this morning?"

"Yeah, why?"

Tears stung her eyes but she blinked them back furiously, determined not to cry. "My brother killed five muggles."

The silence was deafening and the chill on the breeze seemed to grow colder.

"Your brother did that?" His voice sounded incredulous.

She sighed and pulled at her hair nervously. "Yeah, didn't see that one coming."

"Merlin's balls, no wonder you were so distraught." He looped his arm through her's and intertwined their fingers.

"I wouldn't say I was  _distraught_." Her defence was weak already but one raised eyebrow from Sirius was enough to make her relent and rest her head against his shoulder, breathing in his smokey scent.

"I was worried, you know." He said in a small voice. "How many times do I have to tell you not to do shit like that?"

"Sorry." She moved closer to him and felt his breath catch in his throat. "Can't help my utter stupidity."

He seemed to relax a bit again. "Well, you're not the only one who lucked out in the family department."

"Are we talking about your batshit crazy mother, stoic and unpleasant enough to frighten Filch father or your tolerates Snape brother?"

He actually laughed. "All three, throw in my mental cousin, Bellatrix while you're at it. The only decent ones of the bunch are Uncle Alphard and my cousin Andromeda...Regulus sometimes."

"Fun names." She joined him in his mirth. "So fucking pretentious."

"That's one of the first things you ever said to me you know?"

She lifted her head from his shoulder and gave him a disbelieving look. "I did not! Eleven year old me wasn't  _that_  rude...was she?"

"In all fairness I did say your name sounded like an old lady's."

"We were both little arseholes then."

"Still are."

They dissolved into peals of laughter, voices carrying over the harsh winds, holding onto their aching sides despite the quip not being quite that funny. Perhaps extreme exhaustion and complaining heightened one's sense of humour. When they finally recovered, wiping start tears from their eyes and no longer feeling so cold in the February night air, Bernadette made the mistake of revisiting their old topic.

"I like never hear you talk about your family." She nudged him with her shoulder. "Not that you should feel you have to tell me, I wasn't exactly open about my own in the beginning."

His face turned sour like milk left outside for two weeks straight. "Not much to tell, just that most of them suck."

"Regulus seems okay." She shrugged. "Sure he's the reason I'm sitting here with you today. Had he not been there, Snape would've watched me bleed to death on the ground."

Sirius's look only darkened. "Yeah...we used to be really close but then our paths diverged. He made his choice and I made mine."

The grimness of his tone, like cool steel, a storm raging in his eyes,  was enough for her to not press the subject further. Instead, in an effort to lighten the tone she spoke. "Well, here's to fucked-up families."

"I'll drink to that."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Work experience this week was pretty chill, just went into the college where my mum works and went to lectures but it was really interesting, especially the drama and performance ones. Anyways, I know y'all must be sick of all this 'Bernadette's life is shit oh wait now it's grand' stuff but isn't that just well, life? Oh well, I'm not getting much feedback so I'm just gonna keep doing what I'm doing. I'm also trying to plant the seeds for an idea in Bernie's head that will kinda become fully fledged in the next few chapters after this.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	40. Chapter Fourteen: Birthdays and Badges

**-March 1977-**

"That was, by far, the worst experience I've ever had in my life." Marlene heaved into the bucked they'd given her again as another wave of nausea overtook her while Lily rubbed circles on her back.

"Even worse than the time you dated Tommy Carlisle in second year?" Mary smirked from her chair, tying off the braid in her hair nonchalantly, but received nothing but a scathing glare in response.

"I thought it was fine." Connie piped up from the end of the bed, a sly grin playing on her lips, they were all taking great pleasure in laughing at Marlene's antics once Madam Pomfrey had eased their initial worry. "Got it on my fourth try."

Marlene's head snapped up, blonde hair wild and knotted, mascara staining her cheeks, not having nearly as much fun as the others in the situation. "Of course you did! You're perfect!"

"No, I just listened to the instructor and hence didn't end up splinched."

"Those two minutes without my right thumb were the most agonising, soul-wrenching-"

Bernadette threw open the curtains around the hospital bed, looking very pleased with herself, not just because she had easily mastered the art of Apparition but also because she'd managed to smuggle a hell of a lot of food out of the Kitchens with help from a few certain mischievous boys and their Cloak of Invisibility. "I got scones, Cauldron Cakes, jammie dodgers and eclairs, take your pick Marley."

Lily pursed her lips in disapproval. "Is that really what she needs now, Etta? She's just been sick everywhere."

"Gimme a jammie dodger." Marlene groaned, sticking out an open palm. "Didn't see the Prewett twins on your way up, did you? They owe me a bottle of Firewhiskey."

"Keep your voice down," Mary said, leaning forwards. "Madam Pomfrey could be right outside and I don't think she'd take too kindly to her patients chugging alcohol after having lost their thumb and puking on the Apparition instructor's shoes."

"Boohoo, what's another detention?"

Bernadette threw herself onto the bed next to Lily and rested her head on the girl's shoulder. "Somebody's feeling cynical today."

"You would too if you'd lost your thumb!"

They laughed as the rest of the stolen delicacies were passed around. It proved to be a challenge not leaving crumbs in their wake, seemingly forgetting that they could easily vanish the evidence with a flick of their wands. It had been some time since Bernadette had seen her brother in the newspaper but there had been no news since, Aurors were unable to track him down and with the sheer amount of tragedies striking, the Daily Prophet did not mention the story again. So she'd done her best to put it out of her mind, telling her friends about it had certainly helped in the fact that they shared her anger and horror towards William's actions.

The days leading up to her seventeenth birthday passed quickly as something had taken root deep in her mind, an idea and she was determined to carry it out. She was now resolved that she wanted to fight, to try and take down You-Know-Who and she knew she was ready. But she couldn't join Dumbledore's organisation, he still viewed her as very much a child and would not see her put herself at risk. So she would just have to do it herself.

The library was quiet that Saturday afternoon, they'd gotten their first bit of sunny weather in months and the students were determined to enjoy it while it lasted so she pretty much had the whole place to herself. She wasn't doing homework or studying or even reading for pleasure, instead she had made up what must have been two feet worth of notes on her idea and was quite honestly proud of herself. She didn't think she'd ever worked so hard on something like that before.

She held the parchment up to the light, laughter drifting through the window left slightly ajar and smiled softer to herself, all she really needed was people. People who shared her frustration and desires, who wanted to make a difference but weren't sure how. She was already positive Sirius and James would leap at the chance, Marlene too (even though she was still a bit bitter towards her friends after the Apparition incident). Peter would follow anywhere his friends went and Remus, Lily and Connie might worry about it but with a bit of persuasion they were sure to come around. Despite Mary not being too keen on violence, she harboured enough rage towards You-Know-Who and all his little followers, especially after what Mulciber did to her that she'd join in.

Bernadette also considered Alice Fortescue and her boyfriend, Frank Longbottom, both of whom were in seventh year and had expressed serious interests in becoming Aurors but she admittedly did not know Frank all that well and she hadn't been as close with Alice since she started spending all her time with him back in fourth year. But not only were they clear in their loyalties, they were also very talented at Defence Against the Dark Arts.

She gnawed on the tip of her quill as she racked her brain for anyone else who might be interested. The last time she'd spoken with her sister she'd still been fuming over the Daily Prophet article, not coping with the news as well as Bernadette. Then again, she too would be on edge if constantly surrounded by people just like William. Josephine would join without a second thought.

"What are you doing?"

She threw her arms over the parchment sprawled out in front of her on the table and looked up at the source of the voice, shoulders relaxing when she recognised Connie's suspicious head tilt. "Studying."

"We've been friends since first year and you honestly think I'll buy that bullshit? C'mon Etta, don't lie to me."

All things considered, Connie was not the best person to first tell of her idea but with a heavy sigh, knowing well that she indeed could not lie to her, drew her arms back off her notes and told all. "You know all those rumours about underground rebel groups about You-Know-Who?"

"What about them?" Connie said, taking the seat opposite Bernadette.

"I may or may not have repeatedly tried to join one." She waited for a reprimand or even just a disapproving glare but neither came, instead Connie had straightened her back and was looking keenly at her. "And was constantly told I was too young and inexperienced so, because I've never been one to listen to others, I was gonna make my own group."

"Go on."

Although surprised, Bernadette did not question her friend's enthusiasm and went on. "Well I was thinking of getting students with a similar mindset together and not only learn spells and practice duelling but protect other students. We forget that the bad guys aren't just outside, they've got kids in here, kids who'd like nothing better than to torment muggle-borns and blood traitors. I like to think that with a bit of effort, we could really make a difference."

There was silence and doubt blossomed within her mind, and she was worried that Connie was actually mad at her but then a smile lit up her face and she was rifling through the notes with gusto, launching into a verbal onslaught about her own ideas and only interrupting herself to nod happily at something Bernadette had written. And in that moment, Bernadette wondered to herself if war could change someone for the better.  
~~

Tuesday, March fourteenth, was the hottest day they'd had all year. Perhaps the weather could have been enjoyed had the students not been stuck in stuffy classrooms all day, fanning fat red faces with clammy fingers. Most had discarded the heavy black robes and those who wore skirts had forgone the black tights. In protest to the stifling weather, James Potter and Sirius Black had borrowed some of Bernadette's school skits and paraded around in them with pride. Teachers were far too tired and hot to go to the bother of punishing them but even if they tried, it was still uniform and they could not argue against the boys wearing it.

She'd already pitched her idea to several of her friends and so far, all had been gung-ho with it and Mary had even gotten her friend, Emmeline Vance, a pretty Ravenclaw girl with a sharp tongue, on board. They'd collectively agreed to meet up later that week and discuss everything further in a safe place and were all buzzing with the excitement of it.

The fourteenth also brought with it Bernadette's seventeenth birthday and she could not possibly been happier to finally be of age and to be legally allowed to cause magical mischief outside of school. She made it no secret that it was her birthday, having pinned a badge the size of a Fanged Frisbee to her shirt, a flashing '17' emblazoned on the front and relishing in the attention it bought her.

"Snazzy badge you got there, Sommers." Fabian and Gideon Prewett has approached her that lunch, taking the empty seats beside her.

"Thanks, Remus made it for me, absolute dote. Good with Charms too." She beamed down at the badge. "Only wish he'd listened to me and made it sing too."

Both cracked small grins before they leaned in closer to her and lowered their voices, glancing around for keen ears. Her own smile dropped as she realised that they did not come over for some friendly banter. Serious discussions were uncommon with the Prewett twins, in fact, it seemed as if they detested it so whatever this was, she was sure it was important.

"We may have caught wind," Fabian started in a low tone, "that you're having a little get-together soon."

"You mean-?"

"Yeah," Gideon looked a bit more sheepish about the encounter than his brother. "Peter left his diary in the common room and it was just begging to be read. You know he writes just about everything down!"

Bernadette shook her head in disbelief but was not all that surprised. Perhaps she should have considered the twins before anyways. "And you two wanna join?"

Fabian tutted, playfulness filling the air around them once again. "If you thought for a single second we wouldn't join a secret rebel group, you really don't know us, Sommers."

"Well it's not  _secret_ ," she turned back to her sandwich, "just exclusive."

"You got a name for it yet?"

"No, want that to be a group decision, I'd probably choose something stupid like..." she thought for a few seconds, "' _Angry Teens Against You-Know-Who_ '."

"That's actually not half bad." Fabian clapped her on the back and the glass of water in her hand sloshed dangerously. "Could use a bit of editing but...it's straight to the point, clear and descriptive."

She shook her head, chuckling lightly to herself. "Whatever, you two are in anyways, meet us this Sunday outside the Forbidden Forest at two, if you're late we'll leave you behind."

She almost did a double-take as their chests swelled with pride and they shared an excited gaze. Perhaps they had similar motives to her as to want to fight and she was giving them the opportunity to go for it, to try and make a difference, to feel like they were helping. Or at least, that's how she hoped it would go.

"Pleasure doing business with you." Fabian shook her hand in a very formal fashion, mischievous eyes betraying his act while Gideon patted her should lightly and whispered a quick: "Happy Birthday by the way."  
~~

As a Hufflepuff, sneaking into the kitchens after curfew was easy. It wasn't even a five minute walk and the footsteps of patrolling teachers and prefects could be heard echoing in the deeps corridors of the dungeons from far away. The others had a bit more difficulty making it to the location of Bernadette's secret birthday party, other than the four boys of course who had shuffled down, all four of them huddled together under the cloak.

The few House Elves who were not off cleaning the common rooms were more than happy to help pull of a few delicacies for Bernadette and her friends and even insisted on lighting the birthday candles on the cake for her. All in all, the celebrations went well and she was pleased. But nothing could have trumped the disaster of a birthday the year before with her spending the day bleeding out on the bathroom floor and later in the Hospital Wing. So a definite improvement.

"I honestly didn't think I'd live to see seventeen." She mused after her fourth slice of cake, patting her bloated stomach happily.

"Why's that?" Mary giggled across from her, a bit tipsy from the Firewhiskey Marlene had stuffed up her jumper.

She didn't want to relay her childhood fears of William murdering her and dampening the mood so instead she said. "I've always been reckless, climbing up trees, breaking bones, pissing the wrong kinda people off, it's a genuine miracle I've survived so long."

"You've settled down a bit though." Connie spoke. "In recent years at least. You used to drink until you couldn't walk on a weekly basis and made a point about breaking school rules."

"I wasn't that bad!" She couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed. "The drinking...okay, fine, fair enough I was pretty bad but I didn't  _mean_  to break any rules."

"I think we can attribute Nettle's domestication to me." Sirius smiled cheekily from one of the tables.

Lily snorted and shook her flaming hair. "If anything, you made her worse!"

"Hey!" Now they were both offended. "You can't be mean to me, it's my birthday!"

"On my birthday you compared me to an overcooked piece of spaghetti and you made Peter cry on his when you gave him a live eight-eyed toad on his." Remus piped up, unhelpfully.

She huffed and took what remained of Marlene's slice of cake, stabbing it reproachfully with her fork. "Those were tears of joy, weren't they Wormy? And for your information, it was a compliment of the highest honour, Moony, I'm very fond of spaghetti and I like my pasta overcooked."

As they continued to list out 'mean' things she'd done to them on their own birthdays, she was suddenly struck by how much she appreciated these people before her. People who'd stuck with her through thick and thin, from secret brothers to bathroom attacks to spontaneous ideas of kickstarting rebel groups. She couldn't possibly think of a better group of people she'd like to spend the rest of her life with.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been a while and this is bad, sorry but I honestly have no other excuse except that school and dance have been crazy busy. Preparing for shows and exams and career guidance, choosing subjects for the Leaving Cert. To say I'm stressed would be an understatement. Also got a bit carried away with an idea for an original book but it's high-fantasy, Dungeons and Dragons meets Greek mythology meets Wonder Woman and requires a lot of world building. Again, sorry but what else have you lot come to expect from me?  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	41. Chapter Sixteen: A.T.A.V.

 

 

-March 1977-

 

The good weather continued into the weekend and so the Sunday the kids were supposed to meet up outside the Forbidden Forest, it seemed as if half of the student body were outside, sprawled around on the grass, laughing, talking, a few trying to study. Sneaking around proved to be a bit harder with so many eyes around but eventually they managed to take cover behind the first line of trees and wait until everyone was there before venturing further into the forest.

 

The canopy above was thick and blocked out the harsh light of the sun and the air was cooler too. Bernadette began to regret her clothing choice of shorts and a thin-material shirt as they went deeper and deeper into the forest and she could hear Marlene's melodramatic teeth-chattering from behind her.

 

"How far did you say we'd go." She called to James who was leading them, he claimed to know of the perfect spot where they'd never be found, something Bernadette wasn't sure concerned her or not.

 

"Just a bit further." He called back, seemingly unfazed by the unnatural chill of the air around them. "And watch your step, there's a nasty little beast who's dug holes all around here, Peter fell into one last time we came here."

 

Had the boy in question not been shivering so violently, he would have flushed red at James' memory. Remus instead came to his defence. "An easy mistake to make, Prongs, you would've fallen in yourself if you hadn't grabbed on to Padfoot."

 

It was now James who went scarlet as Lily snorted, not because she found it all that funny but because she knew it would upset him.

 

"That doesn't matter, we're here now." He said, shooting a bitter glare at Remus as they group broke through the lime of trees into a wide, open clearing. Bernadette felt as if she hadn't seen the sun in years and bounded forwards happily, arms spread open, face to the sky, welcoming the warmth that it brought. The clearing was far from beautiful, it was still in the Forbidden Forest after all, but after almost twenty minutes trekking through the darker parts of the forest, anything was welcome.

 

She span around in a circle, her surroundings blurring inti nothing but colours and abstract shapes. "I could kiss you, James Potter, this place is perfect."

 

"I think I'll pass on the offer but thanks anyways." He grasped her shoulders as she went teetering to the left, dizzy. "Should we get down to business?"

 

"Yeah, yeah." Still wobbling slightly, she sat herself down on the dark grass, warm beneath her fingers as the others gathered around her. "So I'm kinda generalising here but all of us are pretty miffed off that just because we're still in school, we can't help the resistance again You-Know-Who."

 

Fabian and Gideon cupped their hands around their mouths and shouted: "Get fucked!", their voices echoing around the enclosed space and a few birds sprang from a tree nearby, frightened.

 

"That's the spirit!" She grinned. "So because I refuse to take 'no' for an answer I've decided that we're gonna do things our way. It's no secret that there's already Death Eaters in Hogwarts, some of our classmates and kids are dropping out left right and centre so I was thinking that we could form a sort of underground protection service."

 

"Like the Witness Protection Programme?" Connie spoke up from her spot as the non-muggleborns frowned in confusion.

 

"Sure, we offer protection for students, help keep the Junior League Death Eaters in line and subsequently prepare ourselves for actually joining the resistance once we're out of school." She paused for dramatic effect. "What say you?"

 

"Are you actually asking?" Sirius said. "Of course we're all in unanimous agreement, this is the best idea you've ever had."

 

"Even better than our spectacular prank on Mulciber in fifth year?" She grinned up at him.

 

"Even better than that."

 

The small group exchanged giddy smiles, the secrecy of it all thrilling them. Their excitement only grew as Bernadette fleshed out her plans under the blazing sun and they really started to feel like a secret organisation. It didn't seem like it would be too hard, they just had to keep a close watch on suspicious students who revelled in the suffering of others and be sure to help make muggle-born students feel safer in school but then again that was easier said than done.

 

They left the small clearing an hour later and delved back into the dark forest which didn't seem as threatening as it had done before but they still huddled close together not just for warmth but the feeling of safety. Bernadette walked with her arm looped through Sirius', humming quietly to try and distract herself from the eyes that peered at them through the shadows.

 

"You got a name for us yet, Sommers?" Fabian sidled up, also in search of a distraction.

 

"No." She shook her head. "But do we really need one?"

 

Mary cut in. "All decent organisations have names, Etta, can't you think of anything?"

 

"I quite liked 'Angry Teens Against You-Know-Who'." Gideon said.

 

"It's too long though." She pulled herself closer to Sirius. "There's just something about it that's not quite right."

 

The group fell into a silence until Connie's voice cut through as swiftly as a bird's wings through air. "'Angry Teens Against Voldemort'."

 

Bernadette felt her heart stop and her blood run cold as ice and some of the others gasped at the mention of his name. All eyes were fixed on the dark-skinned girl in horror at her nonchalance. The forest seemed to grow denser around them and cold sweats appeared on their brows.

 

"What?" She shrugged. "What reason do we have to fear saying a name? Especially since we're rebelling against him and all that he stands for. Isn't it kinda hypocritical to keep calling him 'You-Know-Who'? We're giving him just what he wants by letting him know that we're scared, too scared to even mutter his name. And it sounds better, A.T.A.V. I like it."

 

The others let her words sink in for a few seconds and realised that she did indeed have a point. Why were they so afraid to say a few syllables just because they belonged to a dark wizard? They had no difficulty saying the names of other corrupt wizards such as Gellert Grindelwald. It wasn't like the man himself would pop up like a Jack-in-the-box if they spoke his name aloud.

 

So Bernadette swallowed the lump in her throat and nodded. "You're right, 'Angry Teens Against...Voldemort' or A.T.A.V. for short. Come on, let's get back up to the castle, dinner's soon."

~~

 

"Watch where you're going you filthy little beast!" There was a dull thud and a strangled cry. "Bleedin' mudblood, You should know your place."

 

Bernadette was quick on the scene, stepping swiftly between a wiry Slytherin boy and a first year Ravenclaw girl who was now on the ground, books covered in spilled ink sprawled around her. Her wand was out in less than a second and pressed into the boy's jumper.

 

"What did you call her?" Her voice was low but cold and her eyes challenged him. "Go on, say it again, I dare you."

 

He was more than a little taken aback by her sudden intervention and took a step back, words catching in his throat. She was taller than him, stronger too and she already had her wand out, a curse on the tip of her tongue while his sat safely in his pocket.

 

"Nothing."

 

"Was it an apology?" She advanced every time he retreated. "I'd hope so since you were the one to bump into her."

 

He didn't say anything, pressing his lips into a tight line, refusing to look her in the eye. They were starting to catch a few stares, students on their way to class curious by whatever scene was going down before them.

 

"In concern of your own wellbeing, I'd suggest you spit it out or my wand might just slip. Wouldn't want to see you in the Hospital Wing when the weather is so nice out."

 

"Sorry."

 

A wry smile spread across her lips and she pushed the tip of her wand harder into his chest. "See, now I didn't think that was very genuine but then again, I'm a tough girl to please. Pick up her books and clean the ink off them."

 

When he didn't move she snapped her head backwards in the direction of the girl who was watching on in fear. "Get to it before I change my mind."

 

She stood and watched the boy with eagle eyes as he cleared the ink from the girl's books and placed them carefully back into her bag, a nasty grimace set deep into the creases of his face, eyeing the wand still grasped tightly by the brunette's fingers. When he was finished he stood up hastily and stormed past her, face scarlet and fists balled up by his sides.

 

Once he was out of sight, she came up to the young girl and helped her to her feet. "You okay?"

 

"Yeah." She nodded shakily. "Thanks."

 

"It's no bother, if he, or anyone else for that matter, gives you any trouble, you come straight for me and I'll sort them out." She dusted off the sapphire robes and flashed a lopsided smile. "Now run off to class, wouldn't wanna be late."

 

Bernadette watched stationary as the younger girl ran off down the corridor until she was out of sight. A sigh pulled down her shoulders and she hefted her bag up again, books jostling inside. She turned back around to her companion, Peter, who was staring at her, slack-jawed.

 

"What?" She said. "I wasn't too harsh, was I? Thought it'd be best to stick the message in early."

 

He shook his head, blonde spaying across his forehead. "I'm honestly terrified of you, but you knew that already."

 

She grabbed his shoulders tightly as they walked and shoved him forwards a bit. "And you're right to feel so, Wormy, I would like to consider myself a threatening force. Come on, we gotta get down to the greenhouses before Sprout has a conniption."

~~

 

There were several run-ins such as the one Bernadette had in the corridor as the weeks progressed into a sunny April, James had already gotten into two fistfights (more due to his own inability to scare them off) and Alice and Frank had both put a burly seventh year named Rickard in the Hospital Wing for writing unsavoury things on Professor Bins' blackboard. But it came as no surprise that Josephine was one of the most efficient in controlling behaviour towards muggle-horns.

 

Not to generalise, but most of the 'rotten eggs' came from Slytherin, even if they were not particularly ambitious or cunning or possessed strong leadership skills but rather because it was where their whole family came from, for generations past and the Sorting Hat was open to suggestions. Josephine was constantly surrounded by such people, hearing their cruel words about people like her late brother, her sister or her father but over the years she'd gained a fair bit of respect in her House. Her position on the Quidditch Team certainly helped but so did but so did her rationality and level-headedness. Hence when it came her turn to counter an act of ignorance and/or prejudice, she was the most successful in ending it quickly and without injury.

 

The Prewett twins were also doing a spectacular job as many students already feared them as they had the courage and creativity of James and Sirius but also the cunningness of Josephine. It also helped that the terror their elder sister, Molly, had wrought years prior still haunted the school and the Prewett name.

 

In the early days of April, when the group had met up in the same clearing for another meeting and report of everything that had gone down, Mary MacDonald had brought a friend. She was a tall, stately-looking girl who held herself as if a thick board of wood was strapped to her back but her flitting green eyes betrayed her nervousness. Mary introduced her as Emmeline Vance, a girl in her year who had been quick-witted enough to catch onto their group and wanted in.

 

It didn't take long for Bernadette to realise that Emmeline was not particularly chatty. She stuck close to Mary's side and seemed almost alarmed when Bernadette had sat next to her one morning for breakfast as she looked lonely all by herself at the Ravenclaw table. Even after two weeks of having met her, Bernadette still knew next to nothing about her. But Mary trusted her and that was enough for Bernadette. Her dark-haired friend was no longer one to trust easily, especially in light of current affairs and what was being inflicted upon people of her blood status. So she was sure that Emmeline had to be trustworthy no matter how Marlene forewarned her.

 

But overall, A.T.A.V. was working out well, the weather was the best she'd seen it in years, and although there was still no news of her half-brother or his crimes, she was happy but it seemed as if every time Bernadette's life started to look up, something just had to mess it all up, namely, one Severus Snape.

 

After the events that transpired that April, Bernadette was convinced that she was cursed.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~
> 
> If you want an idea for Bernadette's style (which I doubt you do) think Stevie Nicks but with the colour palette of the Beatles' album Sgt. Pepper's Lonely Hearts Club if that makes any sense. Anyways my youth dance company have done our first performance in Laois and it could not have gone better honestly it was so much fun. Now we've just got two performances in Limerick and one in Belfast and I'm super excited. And while I'm at it I might as well plug our social media. If you wanna be a decent human being go follow @limerickyouthdance on Instagram and support the dance community as a whole. 
> 
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	42. Chapter Sixteen: Snape's Final Resort

**-April 1977-**

The night of the full moon was often one of excitement for the Marauders. Remus didn't experience the same magnitude of pain now that his friends could keep him company as animals and in turn, they got to spend the night wandering the Hogwarts grounds. Bernadette did not enjoy these nights quite so much. The air was cold and draughty by the doors and the stone was far from comfortable and she could only take enjoyment from watching the dots on the map but she was glad to provide a bit of extra protection for Remus, no matter how small.

Her and Sirius discussed the upcoming moon as they walked to lunch, and how the summer months were easier due to the longer days and shorter nights. Remus also didn't get as sick during summer moons although they were not sure why but were thankful for it nonetheless. As they walked, they did not notice the beady eyes following their steps or the figure slinking through the students clustered in the hallways.

All through lunch, they were blissfully oblivious to the continued spying until Lily began to squirm in her seat, glancing behind them repeatedly. It was rare to see the calm and composed Lily Evans so uncomfortable so it didn't go unnoticed, Bernadette grasping both her friend's hands in her own and snatching back her attention.

"You okay, Lils? Someone giving you the evil eye?"

"It's nothing." Her answer was far too hasty and high-pitched to be true. For all her many talents, lying was not one of them.

"Is it Snape?" Her voice powered to a whisper. "We've warned him before, I can beat the message back in if you want."

She shook her head in distress. "Please don't, Etta, leave him alone. And if I wanted him beat up I'd do it myself."

The brunette pursed her lips as if she'd tasted something very sour. For all the hurt Snape had caused her, Lily still defended him somewhat. "I have no doubt you could, but I'm not making any promises if he keeps this up."

She glanced over her shoulder, locking eyes with the boy, a scowl pulling at her features. He looked even more sleep-deprived than normal and as if he hadn't showered in a good two weeks. Had she not known she could best him in a fight, she might have been frightened by the death glare he was directing her. "Greasy little shit."  
~~

The only class left was a double Defence Against the Dark Arts and then the sixth years would be free for the rest of the day. Bernadette enjoyed this class, partly because she took interest in the subject but also because most of her friends also took it. They would often spend the class at the back of the room, paying very little attention to the dull new professor and instead cracking jokes and aiming harmless spells at the back of their classmates' heads.

That Monday's class was much the same but Bernadette could not bring herself to mess around as she usually did as now that she was aware of Snape's odd behaviour, she could not ignore his lingering stare. DADA seemed to be his favourite class, even more so than Potions, and it was incredibly unlike him not to be taking down copious amounts of notes. His gaze was fixed on their small group at the back and she was starting to believe that for once, his attention was not focused on Lily. She didn't take DADA, choosing Transfiguration instead, so that meant that Snape had some sort of issue with her.

Her immediate suspicion that this was something to do with William. The last time he'd shown any sort of willingness to talk with her was last November when he cornered her in Moaning Myrtle's bathroom about Mulciber and the Death Eaters and her half-brother. Since then, the only communication they had was the occasional exchanging of glares as they passed each other in the hallway. But whatever his deal was, she didn't have time for it.

Sirius was also not blind to what was going on but rather because he was quick to notice Bernadette's unease. He scribbled down some words on a scrap piece of parchment and balled it up, aiming for her head. She turned as the parchment bounced off her right cheek and onto the desk, sending Sirius a questioning look before she smoothed it out.

_Find out Greasy's deal after class?_

She glanced back over her shoulder at him, his grey eyes stormy as he glowered at Snape. He caught her eye and she nodded before their attention was caught by a loud cracking noise as Peter's chair collapsed underneath him in splinters. The rest of the class passed swiftly but she could feel the stare burning into the side of her head the whole time and she was starting to become far more irritated than she was afraid.

Snape didn't seem too surprised when the pair blocked his exit from the classroom, simply staring at them icily like he had been all day and didn't speak a word. But he seemed to get the memo when they took off down the corridor, following in their wake. Clearly he had something he wanted to say, really wanted to say since he followed without question even though they outnumbered him two to one and could most likely beat him up easily.

Thanks to all his years sneaking around the school with his friends, Sirius was well-versed in what classrooms were empty at what times and for how long so it didn't take them long to find a safe space to confront Snape. Once the door was shut safely behind them and a muffling charm cast around the room, the pair turned quickly on the boy, wands clenched in fists, scowls set deep into their lips.

"What's your damage, Snivellus?" Sirius spat out venomously, standing slightly in front of Bernadette. "Thought you'd know better by now than to annoy us."

Snape didn't look even slightly intimidated by their burning stares or the wand tips aimed at his pale face, he instead looked furious, an odd rage bubbling just underneath his skin. Bernadette was almost frightened, he hadn't looked so mad even before he came close to killing her and she was sure he'd lost his marbles.

"Why are we even bothering, Sirius? He's gone mental, beating the shit out of him won't help." She shot him a glance, trying to convey that it might be better to back down but he didn't meet her gaze. It was unusual for her to be the reasonable one in such a situation but from her limited experiences with Snape in the past few years, she'd learnt well of what he was capable of.

"But he's clearly got something he wants to say to us," Sirius kept his eyes on the shorter Slytherin boy. "Don't you, Snivellus?"

She shook her head, something inside her screaming at her to get out of there. "It can't be anything important."

Just as the words had left her mouth, a cruel, smug laughter filled the room, sending a chill down her spine. As she'd expected, Sirius didn't take to kindly to what he perceived to be mocking and lunged forwards, teeth bared in a snarl but she latched onto his waist and pulled him back with great effort. All the while, Snape continued to laugh at them, head thrown back, hands at his sides, eyes filled with tears of mirth. It was the strangest sight Bernadette had ever seen.

He snapped his head back to the front. "On the contrary, I think what I've discovered is pretty damn important."

"Spit it out then."

"He's bluffing." She protested, adamantly shaking her head.

"I know where you go every full moon."

The temperature in the room dropped about ten degrees and the two teens fixed their steely glares on Severus Snape and his self-satisfied smirk and his greasy hair and big hooked nose and despite her previous hesitance, Bernadette wanted nothing more than to curse him into oblivion.

But, if it were even possible, Sirius was even angrier than her. It clouded his mind, all sense of judgement, too caught up in his loathing for the boy but while he'd been sure he'd attack the way he usually did, fists balled and wand thrown aside, he instead found himself talking.

"Well done, Snivellus, really good sleuthing you've done and because I'm just  _so proud_  of you, I'll help you the rest of the way." His voice was oddly cool, like a harsh winter wind, and Bernadette was almost scared.

"Sirius, don't-"

"No Nettle, don't you think we'd ought to reward him for all his hard work? Shouldn't we tell him how to get past the tree and see the truth?"

"No! Have you lost your mind?"

But Sirius didn't listen to her, he drew himself up taller so that he loomed over the Slytherin boy, his eyes dark and stormy, lips twisted in a malicious grin. "Why don't you pay us a visit tonight then, Snivellus? All you've gotta do is press the knot in the roots."

Her mouth fell open as she stared at the two boys. Snape was a nosy, sadistic bully who seemed determined to ruin Remus' reputation in school and to try and get his friends expelled, he'd almost killed Bernadette, was a known Death-Eater and worst of all, broke Lily Evans' heart and he was just going to hand over their secret to him? And if something went wrong, if Moony got ahold of Snape, the boy would be dead in a matter of seconds. While she was less than fond of him, she didn't want to see him dead.

Before she could say anything else, to scream at her friend, to Obliviate Snape, Sirius had caught her by the wrist and was dragging her from the room without a word, his features scarily blank for someone who just exposed one of his best friends to their worst enemy.

He was still dragging her when the left the classroom and headed down the hall, seemingly oblivious to what he'd just done. After she'd regained some of her composure, she pulled against him, digging her heels into the floor.

Finally he turned back around to her, face softening as he caught her gaze. "What?"

"What do you mean 'what'?" She hissed, very much aware of the students lingering about the halls. "I can't believe you just did that!"

"Oh come on," he tried to laugh it off. "It's not like he'll actually do it."

She raised her brow incredulously. "Are we talking about the same Severus Snape? The one who has been hellbent on finding this secret out and ruining all of our lives since oh I don't know-forever!"

"He's too much of a chicken-shit to even try!"

She shook her head. "I hope to Merlin you're right, Black, because if you're wrong not only are you a shitty friend but his blood will be on your hands."  
~~

Bernadette had never feared a night as much as she did that one. Every noise made her jump, every odd shadow sending a chill down her spine, any small movement on the map putting her stomach in knots and it seemed as if the night was particularly cold. She couldn't even imagine how Remus felt, she'd told the other boys of what Sirius had done to keep them on their toes in case Snape was able to get past her and to nobody's surprise, Remus had been so stressed out that he'd gotten sick three times in the Hospital Wing before being brought down. James had had a similar reaction to her own, anger towards Sirius and a fight would have ensued if Peter hadn't somehow managed to calm them down.

After a few hours of forced reflection, Sirius kind of came to terms with how stupid he'd been and after that Bernadette could no longer stay mad at him, not with his big eyes and pouty lips and now she felt nothing but nerves now that her anger had boiled down. A portrait to her left sneezed and with a start she automatically leapt forwards before sighing to herself and easing back down. At least with all this anxiety she wouldn't have to worry about falling asleep.

As she returned her gaze to the map she realised with a surge of panic that Snape's dot was moving fast away from the dungeons and right towards her. Shit.

"Mischief Managed." She whispered and tucked the map into her back pocket, not wanting to risk him finding out about another one of their secrets. And then, like an idiot, she swing the Invisibility Cloak off from around her shoulders and set it down in a dark corner where he hopefully wouldn't spot it.

Round the corner came Snape, walking light but fast, the bright tip of his wand causing some of the portraits from around them to grumble.

"Stop." She spoke with as much authority she could muster, wand aimed directly at his chest as he stopped abruptly a few metres away from her. "I don't wanna hurt you."

It didn't take long for his initial surprise to ebb away and he fixed her with a venomous glare. "Let's be honest here, Sommers, you're just as bad as me. You preach acceptance and forgiveness but just look what you did to Mulciber. Look at how you've treated others, following around your little boyfriend and his posse believing every one of their lies, doing everything they want you to."

"This is your last warning." Her fingers grasped her wand so tightly that her knuckles went sheet white, fingernails making deep crescent-shapes dents in her palms. "I'd suggest shutting up and heading back."

He ignored her words and took a few steps forwards. "You're just a sheep, a mindless sheep who won't listen to reason or logic and seems incapable of seeing what's right in front of her. You think  _I'm_ the bad guy? Do your so-called friends not bully people, do they not act like they're above everybody else, do they not-"

" _Aguamenti_!"

Snape flew back several feet and was knocked onto his back by a jet of water and was left drenched and spluttering. There were now a good few portraits awake and complaining and she wouldn't be surprised if one had left to go fetch a professor but she wouldn't mind if they could convince Snape to step down, even if she did get another detention.

He rose up slowly to his feet, water dripping from his hair, a murderous look splashed across his pale face. "Seems you're no better than the rest."

"Seems you forgot that neither me or my friends have ever come close to killing another student, Snape. Or did you try to kill me for my own good?"

"It was an accident." He snarled, baring his teeth.

"No it wasn't." She laughed unhumorously. "What normal person invents a spell like that? And even if it was an accident, you didn't even try to help me afterwards, you just watched on like it was some spectacle to marvel at. You're deranged, Snape, Hogwarts' common psychopath."

" _Levicorpus_!"

" _Protego_!"

The spell bounced back off her shield charm, lighting up the hall around them and casting the pair in an eerie red light for a few seconds before they broke out into a full-fledged duel. Bernadette had never properly duelled someone outside of Defence Against the Dark Arts or when messing around with Christopher and she had to admit that she was not prepared for the fear of it all. The spells he was aiming at her were ones she'd only ever heard of in books of Dark Magic and while she didn't know what they'd do to her, she was scared all the same.

She dodged a blast of odd blue fire which left a scorch mark on the wall behind where her head had been moments before and froze in terror. He really was capable of killing her. Before she could break out of her stupor she felt an invisible force collided with her body, ramming her back into the stone wall. The chilling crack of her arm snapping was the last thing she heard before black spots swarmed her vision and she felt her knees buckle underneath her. She'd lost.   
~~

Bernadette felt as if she'd been hit by a bus going a hundred and twenty kilometres an hour. Her head pounded like there was a very small angry man inside her skull hitting her brain with a hammer and there was an odd heavy weight around her left arm. When she cracked open her eyes and saw nothing but white she'd been sure that she had died, that Snape had actually succeeded in killing her and when panicked baby blue eyes appeared over her own all she could think to say in her raspy voice was:

"Are you an angel?"

It took her a few seconds before she recognised the 'angel' as Peter Pettigrew but paler and with dark bags under his watery eyes and a chewed on bottom lip, his own little stress habit. Clearly he hadn't slept although none of them really did around the full moon. Yet still, she had never seen him look quite so worried before. "Are you okay, Etta?"

"No." She groaned in pain as she tried to sit up, she had pins and needles in her backside and her body protested the action, not at all happy about it. "Is Remus okay?"

"He's...fine." Peter spoke trepidatiously. "He's in the bed next to yours if you wanna see him."

She craned her neck over with some difficulty, feeling as if she had a bowling ball on top of her neck instead of a head and saw her friend fast asleep in the bed next to hers not looking too worse for wear besides a few new healed scars and a nasty black eye. She turned back to Peter and posed the dreaded question.

"What happened last night?"

He glanced away briefly, his hands fumbling with the hem of his shirt. "Snape came through the passage looking for Moony. I don't think he really knew what he was until then, he'd just been bluffing. He looked so scared, so horrified and he just froze. Moony got in a few good hits before Padfoot was able to drive him back and Prongs got him out of there, saved his life."

She let loose the shaky breath she didn't know she'd been holding while Peter continued.

"I went back up to the castle and found you..." He stopped as a shiver ran down his spine. "Thought you were dead, there was so much blood and your arm was bent the wrong way."

He stopped again and looked like he wanted to get sick. She patted his hand in comfort and sighed. "I tried to stop him, Pete, I really did but he got me with another one of his made-up spells, it's becoming a bit of a trend I guess."

"He's in Dumbledore's office right now with Padfoot and Prongs, I said I'd keep watch on you and Moony while they sort things out."

She felt her mouth go dry. "Will he tell?"

"I don't know."

"We're so tremendously fucked."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's been some time...for those of you that actually stuck around, thanks, you the real gs. But I've just finished my summer exams so now I've just got to get the interviews and ballet exams over and done with and then I'm (mostly and don't hold me to this) free to write over summer.   
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	43. Chapter Seventeen: The Calm After

-May 1977-

 

Bernadette had been released from the Hospital Wing but minutes after waking up, Madam Pomfrey assuring her that she would be fine to play in the Hufflepuff v Slytherin match next weekend, and her and Peter made a beeline for Dumbledore's office where they knew the others were. The brunette ignored the growling of her stomach and seated herself decidedly on the floor by the gargoyle statue while Peter paced, shoes clacking against the stone floor in a steady rhythm.

 

"Stop it, Pete." She whispered. "Sit down, your pacing isn't going to help anyone."

 

"Sorry." He slid down the wall to sit beside her drumming his fingers atop his knees instead. "I'm just worried."

 

"I know," she rested her hand on top of his to keep them still, "but all we can do is wait. And there's no way Dumbledore will do anything to Remus, it's not his fault. Snape shouldn't have been a nosy little prick and Sirius shouldn't have told him how to get past the tree, Remus didn't do shit and it's completely unfair to-"

 

"You're shouting, Etta."

 

She shut her mouth quickly and glanced around but they were alone in the corridor. "Fuck, sorry."

 

Twenty minutes ticked by before anything happened, neither of the pair daring to move or speak, losing themselves in their thoughts. It was a dangerous thing and the twenty minutes felt much more like twenty hours, chatter and laughter echoing from someplace far away, perhaps outside, the other students oblivious to the events of the previous night. Finally, the great stone gargoyle leapt aside and they heard the door to Dumbledore's office close. Bernadette sprung to her feet with a sudden burst of energy and was just in time to meet the grim faces of her three friends.

 

They stared back at her in surprise for a few seconds before she was swept up into a bone-crushing hug, Sirius' familiar scent filling her nose and she almost got a mouthful of his messy dark hair.

 

"Jesus fuck, Bernadette." Her full name sounded odd on his lips as he murmured into the crook of her neck. "Don't do that to me again, please."

 

To be honest, she was at a loss for words and it took her a few moments to remember what state she'd been found in and oddly enough, felt guilty and forgot any previous anger she held against him for creating the whole situation in the first place, He released her and she let out a shaky breath. "Well?"

 

"No punishment." Remus muttered darkly, sporting an angry new scar running from his jaw to his ear and horrific bags under his eyes. "Dumbledore's talking to Snape now, trying to convince him not to tell the whole school."

 

She threw her arms around his neck and tried to swallow to sob that welled in her throat. "I'm sorry, I'm sorry I couldn't fight him off. This is all my fault and I wouldn't blame you a bit if you hated me with a burning fury."

 

Remus slowly wrapped his arms around her too and shook his head. "It's not, Etta, it's not your fault, I promise."

~~

 

The week following the incident with Snape was complete and utter hell. They didn't have a clue as to what Dumbledore had said to Snape after the boys left and therefore had no clue as to whether he'd rat them out or not. He was doing a good job at avoiding them, for once relenting on the dirty looks or sneers he'd usually send their way in class and visibly stiffened whenever Remus entered a room. They had no quarrel with avoiding him right back.

 

The whole group was left on edge, but none suffered more than Remus. His eyes had adopted permanent bags, he talked seldom and barely touched his food at mealtimes. Despite his friends insisting that none of it was his fault, he was wrecked with guilt. And for once, nothing Bernadette did could help him.

 

She watched him as they sat in the library together, trying to finish off a Potions essay due the next day, his writing lightening fast as if he even gave himself a moment to breathe he'd be bombarded with memories of the incident. Once again, she was reminded of how unfair the world was. Where people like Remus and Mary and Lily and Henry were discriminated against, their lives threatened. Remus would likely never be able to keep a steady job due to his condition, if the Death Eaters forces grew stronger as they did every day, muggle-borns would be killed, or worse. Prejudices against squibs led to her brother leading a secluded life where he knew none but his immediate family members.

 

"Stop that." Remus said, not even glancing up from his essay.

 

"What?"

 

He put down his quill and instead began to toy with the sleeves of his shirt. "Worrying."

 

"I'm not worrying...just thinking, I'm shit at Potions."

 

"We both know you fly through Potions, Etta, what's wrong?"

 

His usually rich brown eyes looked dull and sad and she almost wanted to cry. "Nothing..."

 

He reached across the desk and took her hand in his. "Okay, you don't have to tell me."

~~

 

Quidditch was the last thing Bernadette wanted to do. She briefly considered feigning sick but not even that would convince Jane to give her the match off, especially not so close to the end of the season. But after some deliberation, she decided it was a good thing, to get her mind off all this Snape business and instead channel all her anger into whacking big angry balls at other people.

 

The day was clear and sunny but Bernadette's mind was a thunderstorm of pent-up rage which made for some very good hits (although it was most certainly not mentally healthy) and it came as no surprise that Hufflepuff won by a landslide and every Slytherin Chaser came off the pitch with a bloody something-or-other.

 

She passed on the celebrations that night, claiming exhaustion (which was partly true) and sat on her four-poster, re-reading a book on magical creatures Henry had gifted her a few years ago with little comments in the margins. The noise from the after party was distant but just loud enough that it drained out any negative thoughts slipping through her concentration on the book.

 

A tapping on the glass window caught her attention. A plump tawny owl she recognised easily as Christopher's was waiting on the other side of the window, an envelope tied to its foot. She sighed before clambering on top of Jasmine's unusually clean nightstand to reach up and open the window, letting the owl hop inside.

 

She dropped down and worked the knot for a few seconds until it came free and the owl pecked her, looking for a treat. She slipped it three of the owl treats they kept in a large jar in the room and took out the letter.

 

Bernie,

I haven't heard from you in a while, is everything okay? Joey says you're mad at me. If you're ghosting me as some sort of punishment, can you please stop now? I'm sorry for whatever it is I've done but I kinda need you to stop now because I've got some pretty big news and I want you to be the first to hear.

 

Charlotte and I are getting married. If you'd met her at Christmas like you were supposed to you wouldn't say we're rushing into it. The world outside of Hogwarts isn't safe, especially with William out there. Charlotte's muggle-born, you know, and all these people keep going missing and dying. I don't know what I'd do if she just became another name on a list or a story on the third page of the 'Daily Prophet'. We're having a small wedding in August and it sounds stupid but I want you to be my best man and if you don't say yes I guess I'm just gonna have to go in best man-less.

 

In good news, my Auror exams are approaching and I'm pretty confident I'll pass no bother, it's so much easier to stay awake in classes when it's literally anyone but Professor Binns. Sometimes when I can't sleep I pretend I'm still in one of his classes.

 

Looking forward to seeing you and Joey in July,

Chris.

P.s. I've got another secret that is so top-secret I can't even write about it so you have no choice but to stay with me over summer to hear it.

 

Bernadette's eyebrows shot up in surprise. She could hardly believe it. Chris was marrying this girl he barely knew that none of his family had ever met and still expected his sister to agree to be best man? It sounded ludicrous. How did he even know he was ready for marriage? He'd only ever had one girlfriend before and he'd been the shittiest boyfriend to her. Not only had he forgotten every Valentines Day but also every anniversary and her birthday. Charlotte must have been either a saint or mad or both.

 

Josephine hadn't believed her when she relayed the news the following morning, convinced it was a very bad prank but then she'd received a letter from Chris of her own detailing the same.

 

"How come you're best man?" Josephine finally said after a stunned silence, casting the letter to the side and taking a long swing of her coffee.

 

"Dunno." She shrugged. "We haven't spoken in weeks, I would've thought he'd choose one of his friends. Maybe he-who-shall-not-be-named."

 

Josephine shot her a look. "That's distasteful, Bernie, he's the darkest wizard of the century."

 

"No, you twat...Daniel." Her upper lip curled in disgust at the name.

 

"You could've made that more obvious." She said. "You gonna bring a date?"

 

She pondered for a second. "I don't think weddings are really Connie's thing and I wouldn't trust Marlene not to get shitfaced and ruin the whole-"

 

"I meant like date date." The younger girl interrupted. "Like I don't know...Sirius."

 

"Why would I bring Sirius as a date?"

 

Josephine looked at her as if she'd lost her mind. "Because you two are clearly smitten with each other."

 

"No we're not!"

 

Josephine cleared her throat and began a very poor imitation of Sirius. "Oh, Nettle, you're my best mate even though I've been shamelessly crushing on you since fifth year!"

 

Bernadette threw her toast at her little sister, a scowl painting her lips as jam smeared across her cheek. "Shut up, you don't know shit, Joey, he's in love with someone else."

 

"Who?"

 

"I don't know, he won't tell me."

 

"Because it's you!"

 

Bernadette huffed and got up from her seat. "We're friends, nothing more. Either way, we've both got more important things to think about."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So...it's been a while. Honestly I literally just had no motivation to write for this story for a while and this chapter was just so sad and I find that I often mirror the general tone of the chapters I've written. But anyways it's summer and I'm now young and sweet, only seventeen and am now determined to finish writing sixth year by the end of August.
> 
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	44. Chapter Eighteen: The Slug Club

**-May 1977-**

_Christopher,_   
_I'm not quite sure what kind of a reaction you were expecting after telling me you're marrying this girl I've never met before in my life and that you've only known for a few months but I suppose I'm not sure how to react either. I kept starting to write this letter but every time I tried it sounded like shit as of now I've given up and whatever I write in this moment will be sent to you, I'm done stressing about it._

_I guess I'm just kinda hurt you didn't tell me sooner. Like, when did you propose? A week ago? Two weeks ago? How many people knew before me? Do Mum and Dad know? Will they be able to make the wedding? Why didn't you consider the fact that they're in hiding before deciding to MARRY somebody? Don't you think they'll want to be there for this monumental moment in your life? What about Gran? She always said she wanted to make your wedding cake._

_Sorry, this is still me but a half hour later. I broke the quill from writing too hard and couldn't find a spare anywhere. Remus says I'm the most unorganised person he knows which I take personal offence to considering he's friends with James and Sirius. Anyways, I've cooled down and I'm not so angry anymore. In fact, I think you're lucky I didn't send a Howler. I considered it but then Connie reminded me I don't know how to make one and I didn't wanna put effort in just to piss you off._

_In other news, the Gryffindor/Ravenclaw match is on tomorrow, the last of the year and exams start next week. I haven't studied, as per usual. After next month, all my seventh year friends will be gone and it's only really hit me now. And then I've only got another year left of school before I have to find a job and a place to live and start being an adult. Merlin's balls is that a terrifying thought._

_Long story short, I'm in the mood for a very long stress nap._   
_Your favourite little sister,_   
_Bernadette._   
_P.s. If your "top secret information" is about someone's love life or some scandal one of your Quidditch friends got up to, I'm not interested._   
_~~_

Bernadette swept her books and quill and parchment carelessly into her ink-stained bag after Potions, glad to be free for the rest of the day although she was sure to be surrounded by her panicked friends doing last-minute studying for their upcoming exams which of course would only put her in a bad mood rather than motivate her to study herself. As she followed her friends out the door, Slughorn called out to her.

"Bernadette, my dear, hang back a minute, would you?"

She sighed inwardly. This would not be good, she was sure of it. "Is everything okay, Professor?"

Everyone else had cleared out by then, leaving her and the potions professor alone in the permanently humid air down in the dungeons.

"Oh yes, yes, everything's fine." He smiled up at her and reached into his desk drawer, fumbling through the contents. "I don't know if Lily has told you or if you received the invitation I sent you last week via owl but my final Slug Club meeting is this Friday evening."

He slid another invitation across his desk.

"See, Professor, the thing is..." She tried desperately to think of an excuse. He'd never confronted her personally about coming to meetings, she usually got Lily to cover for her.

"No excuses this time, you've managed to wriggle your way out of every other meeting but not this one. I'm determined, young Bernadette."  
~~

"You have to go!" Lily's hands were like a vice clutched around her arm as they lounged by the Black Lake. "Please! I'll be there and you can bring a date which means-"

"Marlene will finally achieve her dream of attending a Slug Club party." Bernadette chuckled, dipping her toes in the edge of the water. "I know, she never shuts up about it."

Lily shook her head in disbelief. "I meant like a proper date, Etta."

The brunette looked over to her friend and sighed. "If you say I should bring Sirius I'll actually lose my shit. I just don't understand why people think we should be together, we're just friends and he's in love with someone else."

The lake water was glassy and still and had turned a warm orangey hue from the setting sun.

"Sometimes your stupidity astounds me."

Bernadette hit her lightly with one of her discarded shoes. "You're one to talk, you've been denying your growing affection for James the entire year."

Lily flushed a deep scarlet and screwed up her face in disgust. "You're delusional."

"And you're in denial."  
~~

That May night was warm and there was no breeze as Bernadette swung her legs off the railing of the Astronomy Tower, a cigarette between her lips and Sirius Black at her side. "You ever been to a Slug Club meeting?"

He scrunches his nose and shook his head. "No, Regulus goes though, it's a load of bullshit anyways. I wouldn't go even if I was paid. Why do you ask?"

"Well I'm pretty much being forced to go to the one next Friday and I was thinking of bringing you as my date."

"Yes."

She laughed as he flushed red. "You just said you wouldn't go even if you were paid."

"Well you're not paying me."

"Fair enough." She rested her head on his shoulder. "Wear something cute, Lily says there'll be famous Magizoologists there and I wanna leave good impression which I can't do if my date turns up in his pyjamas."

"Have you ever known me to  _not_  wear something cute?" He said, a hand over his heart for effect. 

"How're you and your lady love doing?" She changed the subject, not wanting to talk about Sirius' taste in fashion for the next hour. "Haven't heard you mention her in a bit."

He avoided her curious stare. Never had he imagined his off-hand lie spurring so much interest. "Fine...fine. Just been a bit busy with Moony and all."

"And you still won't even give me a hint as to who she is?"

"Not a chance, Nettle. Not a chance."  
~~

Friday evening came swiftly and Bernadette couldn't help but feel a little excited. Sure, most meetings were dull and awkward but Lily said that his Christmas and End-of-Year parties were great fun. She rifled through the clothes in her trunk, looking for anything remotely formal looking but was having little success. Her wardrobe consisted mostly of loose sundresses or wrinkled bell bottoms. Finally she managed to dig out a long pale blue skirt and stole one of Connie's white turtlenecks and worked most of the frizz out of her hair.

Marlene and Lily sprang up from the couch after Bernadette had persuaded the Fat Lady to let her in, Lily having brought Marlene as her date (it being the first year she wasn't bringing Snape). They both looked exceptionally pretty, Lily in a pale green and Marlene in her favourite deep shade of red.

She lifted up her dress to reveal a small bottle of clear liquid spellotaped around her thigh. "I know you don't drink anymore so I thought I'd warn you I'm gonna spike the punch."

The brunette laughed. "I don't think old Sluggy will appreciate that much, Marley."

"Who said he'll know it's me?"

Lily rolled her eyes. "I, for one, would like to keep my senses about me, I hear Wendy Slinkhard is coming, I promised Remus I'd get her to sign his copy of  _Into the Blue_."

"And we all remember what happened the last time Lily got drunk." Bernadette murmured, recalling the disastrous game of Spin the Bottle in fifth year and James' heartbroken face.

"Oh wow." A voice squeaked from behind her.

Sirius stood at the bottom of the stairs leading to the boys' dormitory and was staring at her as if she'd sprouted a horn and claimed to be part unicorn.

"Close your mouth, Black, you'll catch flies." Lily chuckled.

He shut it quickly but didn't tear his eyes from Bernadette as he approached the small group of girls. "Sorry, I was just-I mean you look-I really-"

"You don't look half bad yourself," a coy smile worked its way across her lips as she caught his gist. "I love your shirt. But when have you ever been known not to wear something cute?"

They dissolved into laughter as their friends stared on, blankly. The day anyone else understood the way Bernadette and Sirius' minds worked would be the same day Filch showed affection for anyone other than his cat.

The four teens made their way to the sixth floor where Slughorn's office, and the party, were located. They were a bit late, at Sirius' insistence to arrive fashionably late, and the sounds of music, laughter and conversation could be heard a floor away.

The office was much larger than Hogwarts' standard whether that be thanks to magic or if Slughorn had simply been lucky enough to get an office larger than her common room and had been decked out with expensive hangings.Little fairies had been encased in jars around the room, lighting up the place in colours of bright pinks and blues to deep reds and golds. Bernadette made a mental note to start releasing them out the window as soon as she saw an opportunity.

A few elderly wizards sat in a corner, smoking long pipes, deep in discussion about some gravely serious topic. Bernadette actually recognised some of the faces there, Dahlia Farrion, Beater for the Montrose Magpies was sneaking hors d'oeuvres into her purse, Ambrosius Flume, owner of Honeydukes was already drunk and was informing a poor House Elf on the best sweet suppliers in the UK and famed journalist, Julie Skeeter was interviewing an incredibly pale young man with impressive dark circles under his eyes.

Slughorn had spotted them and ambled over, a sloshing goblet of amber liquid clutched in his pudgy fingers. "Lily! Looking as stunning as ever. Bernadette, I'm in shock you actually came!"

"Well I heard there'd be free food."

Slughorn boomed a great laugh as if she'd told the wittiest joke known to man. "Come, come, my dear, so many people I want you to meet."

He took her round her shoulders and steered her off. She'd barely managed to grasp Sirius' hand before she was lead to an old man practically drowning in his scarlet robes with a face that she could only describe as a ginger nut saturated with tea.

"Bernadette, this is Harlan Hinde, ex-Magizoologist who has worked all around the globe and the current Head of the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures. This is the young witch I was telling you about, very talented young Bernadette is, never seen someone with such a love for creatures before. Top of her class from what Professor Kettleburn tells me." He puffed out his pot belly with pride.

Harlan Hinde peered at her through cracked spectacles. "Is that so? Do you plan on pursuing a career in the study of Magical Creatures?"

She nodded stiffly, feeling scrutinised. "Yeah, I guess."

Slughorn boasted more about her proficiency in various subjects and she could feel her face growing hot. He conveniently left out her poor to average marks in the leftover subjects and soon was telling anyone who'd listen about her 'skill' in duelling (apparently in his eyes, hexing Avery to tap dance everywhere he walked for several hours was considered duelling).

Finally she managed to escape with Sirius in tow, making some lame excuse about seeing someone she recognised. The pair escaped out onto the small balcony and were finally able to breathe.

"I knew coming was a bad idea." She groaned, burying her face in her palms. "But when do I ever not go through with bad ideas."

"It's not that bad." Sirius shrugged, leaning casually over the railing. "You get to spend the evening with me."

"I can spend any evening with you."

"You get free food." He snatched up a small pastry from a passing Elf's silver tray and handed it to her.

"Well I can't argue with that." She popped the pastry in her mouth. "Have you seen your brother round? How's he doing?"

His smile dimmed. "We haven't spoken in a while."

"How long is 'a while'?"

"Not since Christmas."

"Yikes."

"I know."

She inched closer to him and tried to change the subject to something mildly less depressing than Sirius' broken relationship with his younger brother. "I wonder if Marlene has succeeded in spiking the punch yet?"

They glanced back to see the girl in question dancing clumsily on her own.

"If not she's definitely gotten drunk herself."

"Thanks for coming with me tonight." She said, still watching Marlene. "You being here has made my experience infinitely less torturous."

"What are friends for?"

"Speaking of, we should probably go rescue poor Lily, usually only James can get her this embarrassed."  
~~

It was past midnight when Bernadette rolled back into her dorm. She'd spent the rest of the evening with Sirius and Marlene out on the balcony, hiding from Slughorn and convincing the House Elves to sneak them food. Lily had joined them halfway through when Snape went looking for her, tipsy from the spiked punch. Overall, a rather enjoyable evening.

She tiptoed blindly towards where she was sure her bed was, shoes in hand, trying not to make any noise on the creaky floorboards. A loud snore came from her left and she had to bite down on her fist to stop herself from laughing. With her next step, her foot came in contact with something very much alive and very furry. The combination of her terrified shriek and the hissing was more than enough to startle her dorm-mates awake and send her toppling to the ground.

"Etta!" Connie appeared above her as the lights flickered on and soon the other two girls joined her.

"Sorry, I know it's late-"

"What happened?"

"Excuse me?"

Jasmine and Jane helped haul her to her feet.

"There was no way you were out this late with Sirius Black and nothing happened."

"I'm out late with Sirius all the time, I don't know what you're talking about." Clearly that was not the right response as they let out inhumane screeches. "Merlin's balls you lot need help."

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was doing face painting with my friend for our city's pride and I actually had so much fun everyone was so nice. Anyways, there's only like three chapters after this until I'm done sixth year. Stranger Things honestly broke my heart and after I'm finished this book I'm debating on whether to do another Harry Potter ff or a Stranger Things one. Ah well I'll figure it out.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


	45. Chapter Nineteen: Hellos and Goodbyes

-June 1977-

 

The fact that Bernadette recognised not even half of the words of the first question on her Charms exam was more than a little worrying and she finally started to regret spending all those nights goofing off with her friends rather than studying. She lifted her head to look around the hall. Lily was already on the second page and writing like hell. She resisted the urge to smack her head against the table and dragged her fingers through the choppy fringe she'd asked Connie to do on a whim.

 

She decided she'd come back to the first question and move on to the second only for it to take hold of any hope she held of passing and crushed it into a pulp, it being based on her answer from the first question. She was officially fucked.

 

Potions was a bit better but she knew she bombed the practical, stirring clockwise instead of anti-clockwise and making her Draught of Sleep boil over and fill the whole room with a putrid-smelling, brown smog and in Defence Against the Dark Arts, she'd knocked over the examiner's cup of tea which she was positive would be held against her grade. Herbology and Care of Magical Creatures were her only exams that ran smoothly, or at least as smoothly as they could with her luck.

 

The morning after their exams were finished, Bernadette spent her time meticulously thinking over every question she'd missed, every spell she'd mucked up and voicing all of this very loudly to her friends over breakfast.

 

"Would you stop moaning, Etta, I'm sure you didn't fail." Connie poked her friend who was slumped over in her seat, forehead resting against the wood, her porridge untouched.

 

"No, but I did!" She insisted, knocking her head against the table in self-pity.

 

Lily tutted, not one for sympathy when it came to grades, especially when Bernadette was involved. "If you did, it'll have been your own fault for not studying."

 

Bernadette flew up and tossed her friend a poisonous look. "I had perfectly good reasoning for not studying."

 

"What's that then?"

 

She opened her mouth, ready to fire back with what should have been a witty, eloquent retort, but she couldn't find the words and closed it again. "...Shut up, Lily."

 

"Are we all still on for tonight?" Marlene whispered, leaning so far over the table that she got scrambled eggs on her top, looking to defuse the situation.

 

Bernadette's spirits lightened. The group had recently come to the epiphany that many of their friends would be leaving at the end of the month and after a great deal of crying and overdramatics they agreed to organise a little going-away party for ATAV in the Forbidden Forest after exams. Lily and Remus had protested being out after curfew and being in the forest at night but were eventually swayed by the sentimentality of it and the prospect of one last night of fun altogether.

 

"Of course, Sirius, James and I are sneaking out in a bit to get the Firewhiskey and sweets." She said, feeling much less down about her dismal exams.

 

"Keep your voice down!" Mary hissed, sending a nervous glance towards the teacher's table.

 

"Oh come on, what are they gonna do?" Marlene said, brushing off the scrambled eggs to no avail. "Most of us are seventeen already, it's perfectly legal."

 

"But it's against school rules to have alcohol on school grounds."

 

"It'll be grand." Bernadette reassured the younger girl with a casual wave of her hand. "I'll be completely sober the whole night and on the off chance any teachers come across it we'll stash it and they'll be none-the-wiser."

 

Mary didn't look comforted in any way, shape, or form. "Are we sure we can trust the boys with drink?"

 

"The New Years party went fine didn't it?" She said although it had not in fact been at all fine considering she'd witnessed a possible Death Easter attack while everyone else was watching the fireworks but Mary didn't need to know that bit.

 

"I guess."

~~

 

Smuggling breakable bottles of Firewhiskey through a dark tunnel with a low ceiling and uneven ground proved to be exponentially more difficult than any of them had anticipated. Within the first hour they'd lost three bottles and James, ever the tall lanky fuck, had hit his head a good thirteen times, was now claiming to have a serious back condition and Sirius and Bernadette were questioning why they'd even brought him in the first place, exchanging withering glances with every moan and groan from the boy behind them.

 

When they emerged into the chilly evening air, they'd breathed sighs of relief, sure that James' complaining would cease now that he wasn't doubled over but instead he changed his topic of compiling to how his hair was now ruined, he'd never get Lily to fall in love with him and he would live out his days as a sad, pathetic, single loser. However he shut up pretty quickly when Sirius bitterly muttered: "So no different from now?".

 

Navigating the forest was much harder in the dark, scarier too. She couldn't help but recall what she and Marlene had witnessed there between Snape and some Death Eaters, cloaked figured seeming to loom out of the shadows at her. Perhaps throwing a drinking party for irresponsible teens in a dangerous forest full of ravenous beasts and killer plants and the occasional dark wizard wasn't their brightest idea. Then again, how can you build a school next to a highly deadly area and not expect the kids to wanna check it out? Youth meant two things: curiosity and stupidity. Rowena Ravenclaw was clearly not as smart as history made her out to be if she could not even take this basic fact into consideration.

 

The trio all heaved sighs of relief when the fairy lights they'd messily strung up in the clearing began to poke through the thick foliage and the sound of Lily's yelling reached them, something about "today's social climate". They were just as, if not more, likely to be attacked by some foul beast in a large loud group but there was odd assurance in numbers, light and lots and lots of liquid courage.

 

Peter was the first to spot them and leapt up from his spot on one of the blankets spread over the grass and snatched a packet of Ice Mice and a chocolate bar right off the top of the huge sweet box Bernadette was carrying, ripping open the plastic wrapping immediately and tossing the chocolate at an unprepared Remus who was engaged in a deep debate with Mary with the ethical issues in the transfiguration of animals.

 

"You didn't say we were drinking, Bernie." Josephine said quietly. "I'm not sure I'm completely comfortable with this."

 

"It's fine," she reassured, passing out the bottles. "I'm staying sober, most of us are of age and there's no harm in some light drinking. Anyways, William's not here and nobody else is an angry, or rather psychotic, drunk."

 

There was a long pause. "Whatever you say."

 

Despite her response, Josephine rejected any offer of alcohol and bundled herself up in the corner with a blanket and some sugar quills. Bernadette was almost relieved, at her sister's age she'd been out getting drunk every weekend, it was nice to know that Josephine had far more sense.

 

But while the two Sommers girls did not drink, the others helped themselves to the many bottles of Firewhiskey smuggled in from Hogsmeade and soon the chilly night air was alive with the heat of booze and raucous teenage laughter.

 

Once he was fairly intoxicated, Sirius stumbled to his feet, raising his half-drained bottle in the air. "To Alice and Frank and Gideon and Fabian, to our futures and to failing to adult."

 

"Get down, you look like an arse." James pulled at his leather jacket and sent the boy falling atop him, which then sent Peter into a fit of giggles. Everyone had been surprised when meek Pettigrew turned out to be a very giddy drunk.

 

"Thank you for reminding us of our impending doom, Black." Fabian sipped from his drink.

 

"And here we were thinking tonight was supposed to be our last chance to act like stupid teenagers without having to think about that kinda stuff." Gideon added sourly.

 

"Can we please stop talking about growing up?" Bernadette cut in, a shiver running down her spine. "We've got plenty of time for that but not nearly enough for doing stupid stuff like having a party in the middle of a dangerous forest filled with creatures who would gladly eat us alive."

 

"At least you're acknowledging your own stupidity." Lily laughed from where she was spread out on a blanket, guzzling Peppermint Toads like it was nobody's business.

 

Unfortunately for Bernadette, the night did not go as she'd planned and it seemed that the more the hours ticked by and the more alcohol these kids consumed, the darker the conversation grew. First it was rising house prices then it was the job market and before she could even try and lighten the mood, You-Know-Who was the topic of choice. She had never seen a group of drunk people so sad before but she couldn't find it in her to blame them either, they were all subjects worthy to get upset about.

 

She'd finally had enough after the third mental breakdown and confiscated the alcohol and made them all listen to recounts of her favourite daring deeds which earned her detentions. As the night grew colder and the midges came out and their sweets supply was whittled down to a few spat-out Every-Flavour Beans on the grass, small groups of twos and threes started to break off, giggling and stumbling back up to the castle. To pretty much everyone's surprise, Lily willingly went back up with James with a non-hostile look on her face and left only Bernadette and a very drunk Sirius alone in the clearing.

 

Bernadette was in the process of cleaning up the scattered empty bottles and rolling up the blankets while her useless friend lay spreadeagled on the grass. "Are you gonna help me or are you just gonna lie there?"

 

"I can't move." His words slurred slightly. "You'll have to carry me back."

 

"Or I could just leave you here for the Acromantulas to feed on." She hovered above him with a teasing grin.

 

He laughed, sending a wave of the warm Firewhiskey smell right into her face. "That's a funny word...Acromantulas."

 

"Hilarious." She moved away to levitate the lights down from the surrounding trees, her back to him.

 

There was a few sweet moments of silence between them where they just listened to the rush of the wind through leaves and the cool air seep into their skin.

 

"Hey, Nettle."

 

She turned around to see him not a foot away from her, an odd softness in his eyes. "What is it?"

 

"I have something to tell you."

 

She put down the lights to her side and patted his arm. "If this is something about Acromantulas-"

 

"It's not."

 

"Okay."

 

Even in the dim lighting she could see the colour draining from his face and the sweat beading up on his forehead. "I just...I've been doing a lot of thinking and-and-"

 

He doubled over as if someone had socked him hard in the gut and got sick all over Bernadette's new white runners. Not quite what she'd been expecting from his little spiel but it was bound to happen at some point during the night. She pulled back his hair like she'd often do for Marlene and rubbed circles on his back.

 

Sirius panted breathlessly for a few seconds and dragged his sleeve across his mouth. "What I meant to say was-"

 

"Why don't you tell me in the morning, yeah?" She said, dabbing at his clammy skin with her own sleeve. "You're gonna have a killer hangover, buddy."

 

A half growl, half groan came from his lips. "I'm an idiot."

 

"Yeah, but you're my idiot."

 

~~

 

The following morning, when surrounded by her red-eyed, messy-haired friends, Bernadette was very thankful for her sobriety, she had certainly not missed killer hangovers. Lily was the worst of them, surprisingly enough, her head buried in the toilet as she retched and gagged, Bernadette by her side. The other girls had headed off to catch the last of breakfast and promised to bring up some for the incapacitated Lily leaving only them.

 

"You really overdid it last night, didn't you, Lils?"

 

Lily's groan echoed in the small bathroom and she smacked her forehead against the seat despairingly. "Don't even talk to me about last night."

 

"Why? What happened?" Bernadette passed over a glass of water by her side. "From what I remember, you were having a fine old time once I got you all off the depressing topics."

 

Lily sighed and looked to her friend in hesitation. "Promise not to tell anyone."

 

"Of course."

 

"And I mean it, you can't tell Sirius, or Marlene, or Connie, not even your mum!"

 

"Fine! What is it?"

 

Lily sat back against the wall and buried her pale face in her hands. "Last night, walking back up from the forest, I kissed James."

 

Bernadette looked at her as if she'd suddenly spouted a second head. "What?"

 

"And that's not even the worst of it..." she pulled bits of her hair over her face as if to hide her shame, "I liked it."

 

"That's brilliant!"

 

Lily shot her a dirty glare.

 

"I mean, that sucks!" She corrected. "But is it really that bad?"

 

"Yes, Etta!"

 

"Sorry." She said. "But-"

 

"Shut up! Shut up, shut up, shut up!"

 

"I think this is what they call denial, Lils."

~~

 

The following day they were set to return home and Bernadette found herself conflicted. One one hand, she was excited to meet her future sister-in-law but on the other she could think only of her parents and how this would be her first summer without them. So, in typical Bernadette fashion, she distracted herself with other's problems.

 

Lily had refused to go within ten feet of James Potter and even then went a bright scarlet and turned into a nervous wreck whenever he was in sight. James, on the contrary, was completely oblivious, after some probing, Bernadette discovered he remembered nothing notable from the night. Staying true to her word, she told nobody else although it was incredibly difficult to keep her mouth shut when everyone was so clearly suspicious and when Lily left to do her prefect duties, she was glad of it.

 

As they neared the platform, Bernadette grew only more anxious and excused herself to go find the boys, in need of some serious cheering up and away from all the worried guesses over what was wrong with Lily. Their compartment was not hard to find, she could hear them from a carriage away and they always sat somewhere close to the back.

 

"Well, well, well, if it isn't Bernadette Darcy Sommers." Sirius greeted as she entered and threw herself down next to Peter and grabbed one of his Chocolate Frogs.

 

"You've got a penis on your face."

 

"You can thank Prongs for that one, whoever introduced him to Muggle markers deserves to hang."

 

She chuckled. "Isn't there some sort of a spell to get rid of that?"

 

"There is," he nodded, "but Moony wouldn't tell me what it is."

 

"Well, I think it's a definite improvement."

 

"Fuck off."

 

The stretches of green fields and wide expanses of trees grew fewer and the greyness of London came into view and Bernadette found her spirits dimmed. "You'll visit over the summer, yeah? All of you? I'll lose my mind otherwise."

 

"What are you on about?" James said, hurling a Custard Cream at her head. "You'll be sick of us come next week!"

 

"You better not be bunching me in with you lot, Nettle could never get sick of me!"

 

The platform was hot and thick with people, and teary reunions were happening all around her. Bernadette saw her brother before he spotted her. He'd cut his hair and he had grown the most horrendous goatee in the year since she'd last seen him. Charlotte was stuck close to his side, a beautiful young woman who stood a good few inches taller than him, wringing her hands and searching the crowd.

 

Josephine came beside her and linked their hands. "You ready?"

 

"No." She said truthfully. "But it's now or never...oi dipshit!"

 

And suddenly, Christopher looked like himself again as his face melted into a giddy smile and he ran forwards to meet them in a crushing hug. Bernadette forgot why she'd been so nervous.

 

"You've changed your hair." He said. "I don't like it."

 

"And I'm not overly fond of your chin pubes, you look like a pasty Che Guevara."

 

"I was more thinking Uncle Sam." Josephine said.

 

A high clear voice came from somewhere outside their little bubble. "I don't know, I think he looks like Shaggy from Scooby-Doo."

 

Christopher broke away from them and shook his head. "It hasn't even been five minutes and already you're hanging up on me."

 

Bernadette managed to muster up a smile. "You must be Charlotte."

 

Her grin was wide and bright. "Yes, and you're Bernadette and you must be Josephine, Chris never shuts up about you two."

 

"You must think us horrible if you've been listening to him." Josephine said. "He's awful for dramatisation."

 

"On the contrary, he speaks very highly of you both."

 

"Is that so?"

 

He avoided their gaze. "Shut up, let's head home."

 

Bernadette thought of her real home with her parents and the cows and the chickens and all her memories of Henry and her heart ached. Likely she would not see it again for some time, at least not until the war was over. Her home was not his dingy little apartment in the middle of London, nor would it ever be. For the moment, Hogwarts was her home and even then she'd be leaving it next year.

 

As they made their way off the platform, a heavy force collided with her from the side and sent them both sprawling to the ground, knocking the wind out of her.

 

"What the fuck was that for, Sirius?" She wheezed, thumping his shoulder from beneath him.

 

"You didn't honestly think I'd let you leave without saying goodbye, did you?"

 

She pushed him off roughly. "Goodbye, Sirius."

 

"You'll write, won't you?"

 

"I always do."

 

Satirised, he sprung to his feet and chased after the Potters who sent her a wave from a few feet behind.

 

"Your boyfriend?" Charlotte asked with a smirk.

 

"We're not like that." She dusted off her pants and glanced back at him before shaking her head, she was spending way too much time with Marlene if she had considered it for even just that second. "We're just not."

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ~~
> 
> In the time I have not spent writing this like I promised I've instead been making shitty edits and writing horrible game of thrones fanfics that'll never see the light of day. I'm well past your forgiveness. Anyways, you like the new cover? Took me all of five minutes and I'm very proud because it looks slightly less shitty than the other one. 
> 
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar

**Author's Note:**

> Book one of six, it’s gonna be a wild ride. Anyways, this was originally published on Wattpad under the same username but I decided I might as well pop it on here. The formatting is intended for Wattpad so if anything looks a bit off, that’s it and I’m too lazy to change it.  
> Stay Strange~MyBeanieIsALiar


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